[SM BALLAD Fic]: 가족 [Because It Feels Like Family] Jino/Jonghyun

Apr 14, 2011 22:13


가족 [Because It Feels Like Family]

Alternative Title: 형 (Hyung)

Couple: JonghyunxJino (JongNo?), Onesided!JongKey, side!MinKey

Genre: Angsty angst angsty angst. :D

Rated: NC17 (For swearing and subject matter)

Chapter Rating: R (for strong language and subject matter)

Summary: Kim Jonghyun, an orphan kicked out of the orphanage after his eighteenth birthday, had always thought that God must hate him. He had lived his entire life without a family or anything to call his own, or anything to hold onto, until he finally passed out due to starvation on the side of the road. That was found by his hyungs, Cho Kyuhyun and Jay, and is given the chance to live a life doing whatever it was he pleased with the little amounts of money he manages to earn when he feels like it. Content with his life with his hyungs, surrounded by alcohol, drugs and prostitutes, while secretly hiding his constant longing for a family and for the same boy he had secretly had crush on for the last few months, Jonghyun slowly begins to accept the inglorious lifestyle as his own. That is, all until Kyuhyun’s aunt suddenly dies in a car crash, causing for Kyuhyun’s only living relative, Cho Jino, to come and live with him in Seoul, successfully turning Jonghyun’s new life upside down once again.
A/N: Long story short, so you don't have to read this entire message, this is the first chapter, asking if you want me to continue this at all.

This is the first chapter to a new kind of fanfiction I started writing, but I'm not sure that I want to keep working on it. I've never written a fanfic that is not 100% SHINee, and, yes, none that are not Jonghyun-centric (this one is not an acception on the Jjong-centric thing though). Anyway, I was really really hoping that I could post this and see what you, my beautiful readers, thought about it. Do you like it? Do you think I should continue? Was the writing style okay and easy to understand? I could REALLY use some feedback, so comments REALLY are apperciated. :D THANKS FOR READING. Please tell me honestly what you think about this fic!

“Shit…” He growled angrily under his breath, as he continued walking through the night and the thick snow towards his small apartment, harsh eyes falling up onto the two girls in short skirts and skanky tops stumbling drunkenly out of his apartment building, late at night. The two girls giggled drunkenly as they waved friendlily at him, but were too drunk to say anything, just hung on each other as they stumbled towards the cab they had somehow managed to hail. “Fuck, damned Jay must have spent all the money on prostitutes and beer again. Fuck, that means I’m the one who’s going to be cleaning up their mess again. They better not have fucking thrown up again…” He thought angrily, as he clenched the small plastic bags in his hands tighter and walked casually past the girls as he stepped off of the snow covered sidewalk making his way up the stairs to reach the cheap apartment he and his two roommates called home.

As he stepped into the cold and poorly lit apartment, he found it as he expected, upside down and smelly, and rolled his eyes angrily as he knew that he was going to have to work twice as hard from then on to pay for the costs of the two girls he had just seen exiting the apartment. He was truly surprised that the neighbors in the apartment hadn’t filed anything about the noise and mess they had made in the apartment room and hadn’t kicked them out yet. However, this wasn’t anything he was going to complain about, even if it did annoy him greatly. Anything was better than sleeping on the street again.

“Jonghyun, are you back?” A voice asked from the other room, interrupting Jonghyun from his thoughts and causing for the short man to glance up slowly and walk into the room where the voice had come from, bringing his two plastic bags of food along with him.

As he expected, as he stepped into the living room, Jonghyun found Kyuhyun’s familiar face greeting him with a smile and a half-smirk from Jay, as he glanced up from his beer bottle. The entire room was littered with alcoholic bottles, beer bottles and articles of clothing that were thrown about carelessly everywhere. This was to blame on all of them, Jonghyun figured. Even though he wasn’t the one who would spend his money on something like prostitutes, the alcoholic bottles and dirty laundry thrown about was probably a third his, and he couldn’t just blame Jay for this one.

“Took you long enough,” Jay mumbled in his deep voice from the couch, as he glanced up from his beer bottle and looked at the shorter and younger man making his way into the kitchen. “You missed all the fun. They missed having you here, and were wondering where you went off to.” He growled unhappily, taking the last sip left in his bottle, and wiping his mouth with his entire arm.

Jonghyun ignored his roommate’s comments and stumbled into the kitchen, blindly hitting the wall in attempts to find the light switch, before turning the kitchen lights on and making his way to the counter, knocking a few beer cans off of it so he could set his plastic bags down. Yes, this was his life. Living with two other men, doing whatever the hell they wanted at all times the day, making a complete mess of the cheap-lease apartment, drinking way too much beer, eating junk and cheep foods, and then going and spending all the money they had managed to get a hold of on things like cheap prostitutes. That’s the kind of life he lived, and the kind of life he would probably always live. It was the only kind of life he had ever known as living. But, that’s just what he gets for being an orphan, he figured, as he took the few bags of chips and instant noodles he had had enough money to buy out of the plastic bags he had brought up.

Jonghyun’s life was inglorious and downright shameful sometimes, but he was content with living it as it was. He had found the other two older men a few years back when he was kicked out of the orphanage when he turned eighteen. The two older men had decided to take him in one day when they found him passed out on the street with lack of food, and that was when Jonghyun had decided that this kind of lifestyle or any kind lifestyle of was better than living on the streets. Besides, there wasn’t anything too bad about this kind of lifestyle. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted. There wasn’t anyone to tell him what to do or what he had to be. No one to tell him he had too many beers or to scold him for throwing them about the apartment as he pleased once he had drunk enough. There was no one to tell him to clean up his laundry when he threw it over the living room’s lamp shade. No one who gave a shit about foul language, and when he got lonely, there was always going to be the option of prostitutes to take care of his physical needs. His life, Jonghyun had told himself once, was the kind of life every man wished he could live.

“Where did you go, Jonghyun? It’s damn cold outside, I can’t imagine you’d want to go for a walk.” Kyuhyun muttered as he walked from his bedroom and made his way towards Jonghyun and the kitchen, holding a beer bottle, but looking surprisingly sober.

Jonghyun didn’t answer at first and only held up one package of food for the older man to see before stuffing them under the counter, where they kept most of their food. “I was freaking hungry and we were out of food. Besides, I’m not in the mood to deal with a bunch of drunk prostitutes. You know slutty girls repulse me.” He muttered shortly, as he wrapped the plastic bags around his hand and chucked them under the kitchen counter carelessly, before grabbing a beer from the counter and falling onto the wrecked couch in their living room.

Kyuhyun sat down slowly on one of the arm chairs next to the couch Jonghyun was sitting on and watched as the youngest of the three began making himself busy with his beer, noticing the look of disgust on his face as he spoke of the two girls who had just left their apartment.

“Pft, alcohol is all I need, I’m like a fish…” Jay muttered drunkenly, as his ran his fingers across the cold surface of his bottle, before looking back up at Jonghyun with slightly glazy eyes. “Besides, you might as well enjoy your freedom, God knows the next time we’ll be able to do whatever the hell we feel like again.” He added, before going back to his beer contently.

Jonghyun glanced away from Jay slowly before turning his gaze towards Kyuhyun, knowing he wasn’t going to be getting any information from the oldest now that he had his nose buried in his beer bottle. “Huh? We won’t? What is he talking about, Hyung?” He asked, now genuinely curious, as he discarded his still full can of beer on the side table, more interested in hearing what was going on than drinking.

Kyuhyun took a sip of his beer before leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling and taking his time before finally speaking. “My aunt Cho Yeong Mi who lives in Busan-have I ever told you about her?” He asked after a moment, taking a glance at Jonghyun as he checked for any signs of acknowledgement from the younger, but Jonghyun only shook his head honestly as he asked him. “Ah, well, that’s okay. She’s dead now anyway….” He muttered casually, causing for Jonghyun to look at him with rather surprised eyes. “Yeah, my aunt Yeong Mi died a few nights ago due to a car crash, and now she’s left her only son, Jino, with me as his only living relative. I had no idea, otherwise I probably would have protested, but she seems to have left me as his godfather in her will. He’s already graduated high school early for his age, but the bummer part is that I have to take him in until he turns eighteen in the spring-that means he’s going to be living here. I doubt he’s going to be that bad, seeing on how he’s almost already an adult, but Aunt Yeon Mi was kind of a prude, and we can only suspect that we won’t be able to have as much fun as we do now, with him around.” He explained, sinking deeper in his chair and getting himself more comfortable.

Jonghyun made a twisted expression as he heard Kyuhyun’s words. He wasn’t exactly sure how he was feeling about this news, but he always wondered about one thing: relatives. Something he heard people have come to dread, and yet something he had never known himself. Growing up in an orphanage kind of killed his thoughts of family, seeing on how every day he was shipped from one miniature classroom to the next, and given just enough food to where his stomach didn’t growl, getting used to living without any family or even, much human contact except from the few other kids his age. When Kyuhyun and Jay had found him two years ago, he had actually gotten some feeling of family, when they took him under their wing and gave him someplace to sleep that wasn’t the street. He had kind of grown to view his hyungs as if they were really his older brothers, and as childish as it sounded; kind of liked his place of being the youngest who the others sometimes would take care of, as if he was their younger brother. But with Jino or whatever his name was around, he would no longer be the youngest, and in fact, would have to deal with observing family relations with him and Kyuhyun, and there was nothing that Jonghyun hated more than having to witness a family member’s great love for their relative.

“Like I said, we’re doomed!” Jay suddenly blabbered quite drunkenly, cutting of Jonghyun’s train of thought. “With this kid around things won’t be the way they’re supposed to be. No more mixing alcohol, no more smoking, no more gambling, no more chicks…ah!!” He whined miserably, making Kyuhyun roll his eyes and kick his shin to make him be quiet.

“Oh shut up, Jay. You’re drunk, go to sleep. Jino’s going to be coming here any day now, and for once I expect you to be sober when you meet him. Whether he’s a dampener to our lifestyles or not, he is my only living relative, and I have to take him in, so shut up. From tomorrow on, I want you to try to monitor how much you drink at night…geez…” Kyuhyun growled angrily, forcing Jay off of his place on the couch next to Jonghyun and shoved him with all his strength towards his bedroom.

Jonghyun remained silent as he watched his hyungs shuffling off to their own bedrooms (he supposed it was already well past midnight, but who gave a shit? They’re not kids whose parents gave bedtimes), and was about to clean up a little bit of the mess his hyung had made with his beer bottles, before he suddenly heard Kyuhyun call back to him.

“Jonghyun-ah,” Kyuhyun called after a moment, as he finished shoving Jay into his bedroom and shut the door behind him, now walking more into the hall and looking at the now silently cleaning Jonghyun.

Jonghyun glanced up slowly from the multiple beer bottles in his hand, but didn’t say anything as he raised his head up to look in Kyuhyun’s eyes. They seemed softer than normal, and a small and sympathetic smile seemed to have fallen onto the older man’s face.

“I can tell you’re not very happy with Jino coming here, but try to get along with him, okay? He’s as old as you were when we first brought you in, and you know better than Jay or I how hard it is to have to try to take care of yourself when you’re first kicked out into the world on your own. You two have a lot in common, and I think that it would be good for you to make friends with him. Please tell me you’ll try?” Kyuhyun finally asked after a moment, still watching Jonghyun as the younger glanced down and turned his back towards him as he walked into the kitchen again.

Jonghyun’s eyes fell down onto the messy kitchen counter as he heard Kyuhyun’s request, and moved his head just enough in something similar to a nod to make the older man get off of his case. He knew he couldn’t promise his hyung that he would actually be able to get along with the younger boy he was talking about, but he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint Kyuhyun. He was the one who really took care of him when they had first found him, and he seemed to have a soft spot for him whenever he asked him to do something for him.

“Goodnight, Hyung. I’ll see you in the morning…” Jonghyun muttered quietly, still not bringing his eyes to meet with Kyuhyun’s as he made himself busy again, cleaning up the counter. How was he supposed to express what he was feeling without acting like a child? He really was acting like a child, already feeling jealous just because his hyungs were going to take in another and younger boy to live with them.

“Good night, Jonghyun-ah. Get some sleep soon, okay? Don’t feel like you’re the only one who’s going to have to clean up Jay’s mess, I’ll finish it in the morning.” Kyuhyun sighed after a moment, finding he wasn’t going to get anything more out of the stubborn younger man, and stuffed his hands into his robe pockets as he turned back towards his bedroom.

Jonghyun sighed heavily at his childish feelings before finishing cleaning out some of the bottles and glasses that he had managed to gather, and hitting the light switch to turn it off. He really was childish, but he hated changes and didn’t take them well. Especially if such a change would cause for him to lose closeness with his only family: Kyuhyun and Jay.

~*~

Jonghyun rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with the corner of his sleeve as he half sleep-walked into the living room, squinting and blinking at the unexpected large amount of sunshine that had somehow snuck its way into the apartment. It wasn’t that late, but then again, it wasn’t that early, either. Why was the sun so bright all of a sudden? Jonghyun yawned again and shuttered as he noticed that the always-closed curtains had been pushed half-way open, and the kitchen and living room of the messy apartment was relatively clean. Suddenly, a familiar voice coming from the kitchen caught his attention.

“Tomorrow? At eight…..wait, eight in the morning? Aish…no, it’s okay. He’ll pick you up. What bus station again? Naw, that’s not that far, it’s walking distance. You don’t have to do anything; he’ll be able to find you. Sorry, I can’t tomorrow. My friend and roommate. Yeah…Jonghyun. No, he’s nice, you’ll get along. He doesn’t mind. Yeah….two roommates. You’ll meet them when you get here…” Kyuhyun said, flustered, looking at his cellphone as he moved about the kitchen throwing trash and bottles away in one place and scrubbing mold off of other places, until his eye was suddenly caught by the short and younger man making his way into the kitchen with a questioning expression and raised one finger to tell Jonghyun he’d fill him in on what he was talking about in just a minute.

“I’ve got to go now, Jino. Yeah. Be safe getting here. Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. At ten? Eight, right. ‘Kay. No, I remember; eight. Alright. Bye.” Kyuhyun finished up quickly, before looking back at Jonghyun and flipping his phone shut. “That kid seriously talks as much as you do, Jonghyun…” He muttered tiredly, as he looked back towards Jonghyun, who had now seated himself on their newly cleaned counter and kept looking at the older man with questioning eyes.

“What about me?” Jonghyun asked bluntly after a long moment, as Kyuhyun took a few steps away from him and began cleaning up again. “I heard you mention my name. What about me were you talking about?” He asked, voice a little flat with the strange annoyance he already had for just the mention of the younger boy.

Kyuhyun stopped after a moment as he glanced up from throwing a roach-filled bag of chips into the trash can. “Oh…I was wondering if you could do me a favor and pick Jino up at the bus station at nine tomorrow morning for me…” He started quietly, a little afraid of the glare that had fallen onto the younger and shorter man’s face as he heard his request.

“More like you already signed me off to do it. I heard you already tell him that I was going to be the one who picked him up, so why even bother asking me to do it? Besides, it was at eight, not nine.” Jonghyun growled stubbornly as he crossed his arms and looked away from his hyung childishly.

Kyuhyun chuckled at Jonghyun’s act before standing back up from tying the trash bag and punched Jonghyun’s shoulder brotherishly. “See, you do care. You’re a good dongsaeng, Jonghyun-ah.” He said fondly, as he stepped back from Jonghyun again, causing for the younger to sigh softly as he hit his weak spot of treating him like family, and he knew that there was no way that Jonghyun would be able to deny him now. “Besides, it’s was either you or Jay, and I think it’s in everyone’s best interest if you’re the one who does it.” He added with a chuckle.

Jonghyun half laughed at this before putting a fake glare on his face again as he looked up at his hyung and crossed his arms. “And what’s in it for me? You really think I’m going to wake up so freaking early and pick up some snotty-nosed kid for free?” He asked stubbornly, after a moment.

Kyuhyun chuckled again before glancing back up and thought for a long moment. “I’ll finish cleaning up the apartment for when he comes, and the next time that Jay drinks too much and throws up, I’ll be the one to clean it up, and you don’t have to do anything.” He stated boldly, causing for Jonghyun to arch a brow, rather impressed with the offer.

“Deal. Fine, I’ll pick the kid up. What does he look like?” Jonghyun said quickly, not letting a moment pass for the offer slip by. This might be the best deal he had ever made.

Kyuhyun shrugged, however, at the question, and looked back at Jonghyun with casual eyes. “Dunno. I haven’t seen him since my mom and dad died fifteen years ago, and well, he was like two when that happened, so I have no idea what he looks like these days.” He said simply, not really realizing the fact that this made it nearly impossible for Jonghyun to be able to find the kid at the station.

“Grand…” Jonghyun growled unhappily, as he swung on his arms off of the counter and grabbed a plain piece of nori and took the edge of it in his mouth before walking out of the kitchen to where he had thrown his snow-jacket over the lampshade last night and pulled it on. “I’m heading out for a few hours before Jay-hyung wakes up, then. See you later.” He muttered, waving his hand over his head in some sort of goodbye to his hyung, before opening the door and stepping out into the cold.

Kyuhyun sighed lightly as he watched the younger man disappear out the door, and glanced down at the cup in his hand. He knew all too well where the younger was headed at that moment. “I hope that you can help him out, Jino. He needs someone in his life more than he’ll ever even let himself know.” He thought slowly.

~*~

“Eomma, eomma! Watch me! Look what I can do! I can do it all by myself now! I’m such a big boy now, aren’t I!?” A little boy asked excitedly, as he jumped on one foot over to where his mother was sitting in the small park, pointing at a messily tied shoelace on his left foot. “I learned how to do it all by myself! Appa really taught me how!” He sang happily.

Jonghyun sighed heavily as he glanced down from the mother’s proud face as she took her son into her arms and hugged him tightly, telling him how proud she was to have such a smart boy as her son, and how his father was going to be so proud of him. He didn’t know why he did it. Didn’t have any idea why he did it to himself, and yet he still came to this park every single day to watch the young children playing snowball fights with their parents or tag with their siblings. It was probably because he was an admitted masochist and found himself addicted to the sights of families in front of him that always made his heart sting with jealousy. As much as he loved his hyungs so much, he couldn’t help but feel his heart shift with jealousy in his chest as he stared at the families in front of him, his warm breath visible and swirling in front of him as he turned his eyes to someone else.

Sitting there on the same bench as always, the same tall latte cup from Starbucks in his hand, nose in the same book as he had been reading for the last few weeks, was the other proof that Jonghyun was indeed a masochist, and another reason Jonghyun was sure that his life wasn’t fair. The thin boy sitting on that bench under the tall tree in the corner of the park with the white mittens and snow-boots on, was another reason why Jonghyun had come to the park every day. His name was Kim Kibum and he came to the park with his autistic little brother, Taemin, everyday to let the younger run around and get his energy out, as he drank the same tall vanilla latte and read books all in English. Jonghyun had already found himself to memorize everything about the younger boy; how he was a perfectionist and a diva, and how he would throw his entire back into his pure laughter. How he was the older of two sons of a wealthy and beautiful family, how he loved his little brother so much, and how he would beat whoever made fun of him senseless for doing so. Jonghyun had memorized everything about the younger boy, and a few months ago realized that, along with all the other curses God had given him when he was born, there he was, gay. Not only gay, but also helplessly in love with someone he could never make himself approach and talk to.

No one knew this about him-that he was gay-though he expected Kyuhyun to be able to suspect him, seeing on how he was nowhere to be seen whenever Jay had girls in their apartment. Jonghyun, sighing and getting up from his spot in the park, upon feelings his heart being too heavy from looking at everything he knew he would never have, was already sure that God must hate him and thus cursed him with such a hard and lonesome fate. But, despite as far as he knew, he had never done anything to make God hate him so much, this was his life, and there was no use of complaining about it. He had his hyungs. He had Kyuhyun and Jay, and that was more than he had ever had before. He was thankful for them, and thankful not to be on the streets anymore, and so never once complained about his life as it was. With one more glance at Kibum over his shoulder, Jonghyun let out a breath and began making his way back towards his apartment. Yes, he was jealous of the life he saw others living. Yes, he was jealous of the families he saw every day in the park, and yes he was jealous of whoever it was who was finally to have Kibum’s heart-but those lives he observed every day in the park, well, although they were indeed good lives, they weren’t the kind of life he was meant to live. They weren’t his. And he accepted this.

~*~

Coming home to a clean apartment and a sober Jay was something that Jonghyun wasn’t used to, but definitely something he wasn’t going to complain about, as he scurried around the kitchen, making hang-over stew for Jay to eat and regain his right state of mind, although Jonghyun wasn’t even really sure if he had ever actually seen Jay in such a state of mind. Things were on the verge of changing, and Jonghyun could feel himself still dreading it, but he didn’t show any signs of his nervousness as he stared down at the brown liquid, listening to his hyungs talking quietly from the living room.

“Could you at least close the curtains?? It’s so bright in here! My eyes feel like they’re going to fry out…” Jay whined unhappily, rubbing his baggy eyes sadly, as Kyuhyun ignored him and folded a few shirts that he managed to wash in the kitchen sink earlier that morning.

“What are you, a vampire? It’s always so dark in here, you know Jonghyun and I have stubbed our toes a thousand times in here because it’s so damn hard to see with all the curtains closed. Besides, Busan has a different climate in the winter than Seoul does, and it’ll already seem dark when Jino comes, even with the curtains open. If he’s anything like Aunt Yeong Mi was, he’s a very fragile boy and can’t take the kind of abuse me and Jonghyun-ah do. Now stop complaining and take a shower already. You still smell like beer.” The sometimes (when he feels like it) responsible Kyuhyun instructed sternly, as he made surprisingly neat piles of clothes on the coffee table for the three boys of the household.

“I don’t want to go take a shower! You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my parent, and I’m your hyung! I’m the oldest for crying out loud! What, now that your kid cousin is coming, we’re all going to turn into proper gentlemen that smell like roses!? We’re not like that, Kyuhyun! We’re a bunch of dirty orphans, with no family and no manners. That’s what we are, and that’s all we’ll ever be! And that’s exactly what I want to be! You can’t tell me not to drink if I want to!” Jay shouted loudly, throwing his arms into the air dramatically, despite his hangover, having a characteristic temper, and about to throw his normal alcohol-withdrawal tantrum. The truth was that Kyuhyun was the leader of the household, despite Jay being the oldest, and normally Jay was pretty good with agreeing to do as the younger instructed.

Jonghyun snuck his way past Jay’s failing arms as the oldest continued exaggerating his motions as he set two bowls of stew down on the coffee table before taking his spot with his own bowl. “Food’s ready, Hyung. You should eat, you’ll feel better…” He muttered quietly, his voice sounding light under Jay’s booming tantrum voice, but seemed to effectively shut the older man up for a total of two minutes as he took a sip of the stew Jonghyun had made.

“See, we already have the perfect maknae. Jonghyun’s as good as we need, and we don’t have to look proper in front of him. I can drink and smoke and curse and gamble in front of him as much as I want and he doesn’t complain! Why do we have to pretend we’re something we’re not just in front of your cousin??” Jay ranted unhappily staring at Kyuhyun with groggy eyes, as Jonghyun remained silent and glanced up at his hyung too. He couldn’t help but wonder the same thing, though he hadn’t voiced it yet. He was as old as Jino apparently is, when he first was taken in by the older two, and God knows they didn’t hold back on doing whatever they wanted when he was getting used to being with them. Jonghyun didn’t want to admit it, but he figured the reason. The reason was, Jino was Kyuhyun’s family, while Jonghyun was nothing but an orphan he decided to keep from starving.

“Because Jonghyun is one of us, that’s why we don’t have to try to do anything we wouldn’t normally do, just for him.” Kyuhyun suddenly answered sternly as he looked at the other two men sitting next to each other on the couch, and dropped the last shirt of Jay’s onto his stack. “Because you, Jonghyun, and I are all our own kind of family, and like family, we don’t have to hold anything back in front of each other. Besides, I never said that Jino was going to live with us forever. He has to come stay with us until he’s an adult and can take care of himself by himself, not for the rest of his life. I just want him to feel a little more comfortable when he’s first coming in to living with us, okay? All three of us are orphans, and we all know how it feels to be forced into a new environment after either losing our family or losing the care takers and other kids from the orphanage. It’s our job to try to welcome him into our own kind of family. Okay? Are you going to complain anymore?” Kyuhyun snapped back agitatedly towards the end, staring at Jay with intense eyes.

Both of the other men remained quiet after Kyuhyun’s words, but Jonghyun hid the relieved smile that had fallen on his face behind the cracked mug he had been eating out of, as he heard that he wasn’t the only one who viewed the three of them as a family. It felt good, to think that his hyungs felt the same way, and know that they had each others’ backs. Perhaps he was giving this kid too hard of a time, suspecting that he was going to come and take his place in his hyungs’ lives. As long as he knew that his hyungs viewed him as family, and not just the kid they found alone on the street one day, he didn’t have to worry about this Jino kid ruining anything.

~*~

It was far too early in the morning for Jonghyun to be happy about it, and the grey clouds that loomed over the streets and skyscrapers of the city only made him more tired as he dropped his cold hands into the pockets of his hole-filled but warm snow jacket. The morning was cold and cloudy, and Jonghyun could see his breath dancing in front of his face as he glanced down at the small watch he wore on his wrist. Seven fifty-eight (he swore he hadn’t woken up this early for the last two years he had spent with his hyungs), the bus should be there at any moment, and he wouldn’t have to stand out in the cold for much longer. He still wondered why on earth Kyuhyun had wanted him to go and pick his kid cousin up from the bus stop so early in the morning, instead of just doing it himself. It wasn’t like the older man had a job to get to or anything.

“Lazy ass probably just didn’t want to wake up so early…” Jonghyun muttered to himself as he leaned against one of the metal polls that supported the overhead of the bus stop and watched the road for any sign of a bus coming. “I swear if I didn’t care so much about those stupid hyungs, I wouldn’t do so much shit for them…” He growled unhappily, but looked back up at the road after a moment as his watch beeped, telling him it was eight, and before long, the silhouette of a bus began to appear through the thick and low clouds. “At least the bus is on time though,” Jonghyun noted, as he stopped leaning on the poll and looked straight in front of him, trying to find anyone exiting the bus that looked even remotely like Kyuhyun. How on earth was he supposed to recognize this kid anyway? He had never seen him before, or even Kyuhyun’s aunt. Geez, sometimes he really wished his hyung thought things out better before setting him out to do them.

Jonghyun let out a breath and shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he watched a bunch of kindergarteners exit the bus, with their mothers holding onto their hands and leading them in the direction Jonghyun was pretty sure the kindergarten was. This was great, just great. Not only did he have to wake up inhumanly early and walk to the bus station to pick up Kyuhyun’s stupid kid cousin from the bus station, but now he had to stand there and watch all these children and their families talking about how they were going to miss each other during the few hours that kindergarten lasted. He sure did hate Kyuhyun for making him love and care about him so much as to agree to do this for him.

“Aish, where the hell is this kid? He better hurry up and get off the damned bus if he has any hopes of getting back to the apartment safely under my care…” Jonghyun growled angrily under his breath, as he hid his face a little bit behind his scarf in attempts of keeping his nose warm.

People continued pouring off of the bus one by one, and Jonghyun was forced to take a few steps backwards from where he had been standing, in order to make room for everyone to get off of the bus, as he continued to eye each and every passenger that got off for any resemblance to Kyuhyun. There was one guy who was tall and had basically the same hair color as Kyuhyun did, but it was pretty obvious to Jonghyun that he wasn’t the seventeen-year-old he was looking for, seeing on how he looked like he was probably thirty and was carrying his daughter on his shoulders, telling her to be a good girl for her teacher in kindergarten. Basically, most all of the people getting off at this bus stop were people who had caught that bus from a nearby station to take their kids to school, and the majority of people getting off were either teachers, parents or students themselves. “Damned Kyuhyun-hyung better have given me the right time…” Jonghyun thought unhappily, as he continued eyeing each person who stepped off of the bus, until it appeared that everyone had gotten off, and the bus door closed.

“What the fuck???” Jonghyun cursed audibly, probably relying on blaming his orphan upbringing for his foul language in front of all the younger children around him, as he noticed that every passenger had already gotten off of the bus, which was now pulling away. Where the hell was that annoying kid he was supposed to be picking up? Of all the children who had gotten off of the bus, not a single one of them looked like they could possibly be any older than the age of thirteen, or anywhere near tall enough to be a graduated high-schooler (and this was by Jonghyun’s standards, which meant they were pretty low to begin with, as the short man scowled at all the children around him).

“Stupid, stupid, stupid Hyung, I was sure that I heard you say eight when you were on the phone with him yesterday morning. Where the hell is this kid? I swear, if he wasn’t on this bus, I’m not going to wait for him any longer. You can wake your own lazy ass out of bed yourself and go pick him up an hour late or whenever the hell he feels like showing up…” Jonghyun thought angrily (though he honestly didn’t mean a word of it), as he continued scanning the now clearing crowd, as the vast majority of them all separated and went on their own ways to wherever it was they had to go. “Where are you, kid?” He muttered quietly, as he walked more into the middle of the area the over-head of the bus stop covered, and now glared closely at the remaining people left in front of him.

Of the few people that still hung around the bus stop, there were very few, if any candidates for Kyuhyun’s cousin, by Jonghyun’s judgment. There were two high school looking students, but Jonghyun figured that neither of them were the boy he was looking for, based off of the fact that they were both girls and were busily giggling to themselves about some popular boyband member. There was some senile looking old lady talking to a stray cat that Jonghyun sometimes fed when he was killing time in town when Jay had girls in the apartment, but she obviously wasn’t the one he was looking for either. And, then, there were only two males left there. One little kid who looked like he was about three years old, crying as he held his mommy’s hand, after falling off of the curb and skinning his knee. Jonghyun knew this wasn’t him, and so he was left to look towards the last candidate left, though he doubted it was who he was looking for, judging on the height of the other boy. He was some other baby-faced boy who looked like he was about ten years old, holding a rather large school bag, looking lost, and scanning around the street nervously as he continued glancing down at a small cellphone in his hand, checking the time over and over again.

“Aww, no way…” Jonghyun thought to himself as he began making his way towards the other short boy from the other side of the bus stop, and continued staring at the kid in front of him. “This kid looks like he’s ten years old! No way this guy could possibly be Hyung’s cousin…” He told himself, comparing Kyuhyun’s uncommonly huge height to the shortness of the kid in front of him, telling himself over and over that he must be confused, and this wasn’t the snotty-nosed brat he was going to have to deal with for the next few months until whenever he felt he was going to leave his cousin and allow Jonghyun to go back to the lifestyle he had with his own kind of family he had been so comfortable with before he showed up.

As Jonghyun approached the younger, the boy in front of him looked up at him with big and unsure eyes, stumbling backwards timidly as the older man walked over to him. Jonghyun made a face and curled his lip a little at the younger’s boy’s reaction just to have being been approached (obviously, this kid had never spent a night on the streets before), and kept his hands stuffed in his pockets and a slightly apathetic expression on his face as he stopped in front of the younger and looked at him up and down once before finally speaking.

“Cho Jino?” Jonghyun finally asked casually, as he continued eyeing the smaller boy up and down with unreadable eyes, causing for the other boy to shiver slightly under the older man’s eyes.

The smaller boy swallowed nervously and clenched the handle of his suitcase in his hands a little tighter as he looked up at the older and taller stranger in front of him, before nodding nervously, still not saying anything. He thought Cousin Kyuhyun had told him that the friend that was going to be picking him up was friendly and easy to get along with. Not so apathetic and hard to read as the man in front of him was.

“Well shit, kid. You don’t look a thing like your cousin. How old are you again? Did Hyung lie to Jay-hyung and I when he said you were almost eighteen? You look like you’re about ten years old…” Jonghyun muttered bluntly after a long moment, but didn’t hesitate to grab the bag out of the boy’s hand and sign for him to follow him, as he set off back towards his apartment, after making sure the kid was slowly following him.

Jino remained silent for a long few minutes as he followed the older man from a safe distance, and tried to gather up his courage the most he could. Although he didn’t remember his cousin Kyuhyun at all from the one time he had visited them before his aunt and uncle died, his mom always told him that he was a good person and he should trust him. Cousin Kyuhyun told him to trust and feel comfortable around this older man and told him that he was a good person, so it was only up to him to act mature and try to be brave through this time. Jino swallowed slowly before looking up at the back of the older man again, and ran forwards a little bit to catch up with him.

“U-umn….J-Jonghyun-hyung…?” Jino asked quietly, as he managed to catch up with the older man, trying his best to keep up with the older man, although it was hard, because he had never walked in snow before in his life.

Jonghyun froze completely and stopped mid-step as he heard the light voice next to him’s words. Hyung? Did this random snotty-nosed kiddo seriously just call him hyung already, not even two minutes after they had just met? He had never been called hyung by anyone before, not even the younger children at the orphanage. What made this kid think that he could call him hyung as he pleased? This kid really didn’t seem to care too much for formalities.

“What do you want?” Jonghyun growled quietly as he glanced over at the younger boy with slightly slanted and glaring eyes, to find a bright and happy smile falling over the timid other boy’s face, eyes crinkling under rosy red cheeks (probably due to the coldness of that morning), as he smiled full-heartedly with a cute, purely innocent and happy smile-a kind of smile that Jonghyun had not seen for many years since he had first remembered being in the orphanage.

“Thanks for coming and picking me up today, Hyung. I know that we’ve never met before, but I really appreciate it. A-and thank you for letting me stay here with you, your other roommate and Kyuhyun-sachon. I really hope that we can get to be friends!” Jino said happily, as he noticed the way Jonghyun’s glare seemed to lessen a little as he stared at him with eyes equally hard to read, but a generally happier looking expression on his face.

“You really hope we can get to be friends? How old are you? And, pft…stop smiling like that, will you? You’re not that cute…” Jonghyun growled angrily, as he glanced away from the cute little kid next to him and walked faster through the thick snow towards his apartment, leaving the snow-bootless kid a good distance behind him, as the kid desperately tried to catch up with him through the thick white slush that made its way all the way up to his knees.

_______

A/N: Honest feelings? Should I go on? I'm not sure if I will, but I might as well ask you guys. Waddu thinks?

fanfic, sm the ballad, shinetae

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