[fic] 큐피드 미친 짓이야 (Cupid is CRAZY); PG13
큐피드 미친 짓이야
(Cupid is CRAZY)
Couple: JongHo (MingBling)
Rated: PG13 (for mild swearing)
Genre: Fluff, Crack, Romance
Summary: Every year on Valentine’s Day, it is the love god Baby Cupid’s job to come down to earth and shoot two individuals and create a picture perfect and pure love between the two most picture perfect and pure people. But when he suddenly sticks two polar opposites Kim Jonghyun and Choi Minho with his magic love arrows, causing for the two enemies to fall entirely head over heels for each other, the other gods and humans can only believe one thing: CUPID IS CRAZY.
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Every year on Valentine’s Day, it is the duty of the love god Baby Cupid to descend to the human’s earth and bless two separate individuals with the gift of undying and unconditional love, by shooting them with his magical love arrows. As it has been tradition for all of time, Baby Cupid’s job is to find the two more picture perfect and beautiful people to shoot and create the most picture perfect and beautiful couples who will spend the rest of eternity doting and cherishing each other nearly mindlessly in sweet and pure infatuation...
...Or so it had been for as long as Baby Cupid could remember. Year after year of the same thing; finding two perfect individuals, a perfect man and a perfect woman, the most commonly thought of picture of perfect love. Year after year of the thinnest, prettiest and most beautiful model-like women and the sturdiest, handsomest and richest men falling completely in love with each other to create cookie cutter families...Baby Cupid began to become bored. So bored of setting up cookie cutter people; desperate for a new change and a more surprising case of true love.
~♥~
February was quickly passing, and the numbers on the human calendar were clicking closer and closer to the fourteenth, as Baby Cupid Taemin continued to lay on his soft bedding of the clouds up above, staring down at the humans down below, watching as the perfect couple grew closer and closer to each other, almost ready for his arrows to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. His job was getting easier and easier as the years passed, as he looked down at the most handsome boy and the most beautiful girl. It was already natural for the beautiful people to be attracted to each other; it was as if he wasn’t even needed anymore. Kim Jonghyun was already the most popular boy, and Shin Se Kyung was already the most beautiful girl, what was the point of having to shoot them with his arrows on Valentine’s Day? It was already obvious that they would make the perfect cookie cutter couple, so what was the point in watching them and waiting to shoot them? His job had already begun to become a repeat of the same thing year after year.
Kim Jonghyun is the most popular and attractive boy in his senior year of high school; a singer-songwriter, gifted in arts of all kinds, let it be music, artistic expression or literature. He’s active and lively, always making noise and getting full attention from everyone who is in close enough proximity to hear or see him. He has an insane amount of friends and everyone seems to love him, even the underclassmen and new students who only know him as a face and a figure that the whole school knows about. His good looks and two-toned bleached blonde hair makes him recognizable and seems to be on even all the teacher’s good sides, and never gets in trouble for his shockingly low GPA. He’s everywhere and doing everything, except, something that Cupid Taemin couldn’t help but notice, the athletic fields, due to one thing; his archenemy, Choi Minho.
There were a lot of things that the hot-head Kim Jonghyun hated, but only one he loathed: and that was the extraordinarily tall athlete junior named Choi Minho. From the very moment that he had first met the very tall other, he had decided he hated him more than anything else in the world, and that only was a little bit because the two year younger somehow managed to keep ten centimeters spare on the short senior.
The two seemed to be complete opposites, made and destined to be rivals of each other. There were as different as fire and water, and when together acted like cats and dogs; constantly fighting amongst each other, always trying to prove superiority and dominance over the other. They seemed to be able to push each other’s buttons perfectly in all the wrong ways without even trying, and there wasn’t a moment where they were together without Jonghyun standing on his toes to get in Minho’s face, trying to intimidate him or where they weren’t tied in an intense competition to prove dominance.
Minho is nearly as much Jonghyun’s polar opposite in appearance as they are in mind. He is tall, quiet, determined and focused in school, with long brown hair, which he likes to keep out of the way while doing sports, for sports are his one true passion. While Kim Jonghyun wouldn’t stand to even consider to step foot on a soccer field, let alone go near a game; Minho’s second home is on the soccer field, where he is constantly training and playing along with the few other jocks of the school. He barely speaks a word in class, and seems as if he tried to avoid speaking more than absolutely necessary during class hours, but for some reason; when he is near Jonghyun, his deep voice always seems to become strong as he would tease, taunt and egg the shorter one on, fearlessly (a fight with Minho being the one thing the heartbreaker Jonghyun seemed to never be able to refuse).
...And it just so happened, that this year, it was exactly these two enemies that caught Baby Cupid Taemin’s eye, and a small, sly smile to slid onto his plump lips as he watched them fight from the clouds above. Perhaps there was something he could do that would make him love his job again.
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Loud music blasted through the air, and the shockingly loud and shrill noise of girls screaming their heads off echoed and resounded through Minho’s eardrums as he attempted to cross the street to re-enter his school at lunch time on the day of February fourteenth, and the next thing he knew, there was a loud roar of a motor, and he was forced to leap out of the street in order to thinly escape being hit by a speeding shiny golden convertible rushing into the school’s gates, followed by all-too-familiar laughter.
“Watch whose way you’re walking in, Alien!”Jonghyun’s content voice sounded from the speeding car, before he suddenly slammed on his brakes, causing for the wheels to come to a screeching stop as the smell of burning rubber and smoke filled the air around his car.
The girls continued screaming their heads off at shockingly high pitches as the door of the convertible was kicked open and its driver stepped out of it, emerging from the smoke he had created and pulling his glasses off in slo-mo, swishing his blonde hair to put it in place after speeding down the road with his convertible top open, causing for Minho to roll his eyes.
“At least he bothered to come back to school again instead of ditching at lunch as normal.” Minho muttered apathetically, as he pulled the strap of his pale green book bag over his shoulder, and fixed his school uniform jacket, wishing he had decided to show up to school later, so he wouldn’t have to just sit around for twenty minutes.
Changmin, Minho’s best friend, and the second best player on the soccer team, half smiled and stuck his hands in his pockets as he walked alongside his friend, looking over at Jonghyun as the blonde began strolling down the sidewalk, making girls faint with every wink (“Aish, he can’t even wink without twitching, why the hell are they squealing like that?” Minho had asked once before).
“Heh, of course he stayed at school today. It’s Valentine’s Day, of course that little playboy is going to stay and enjoy every moment and every girl who comes to confess to him. You know he gets at least twenty boxes of chocolate every year.”Changmin muttered, as he shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall of the auditorium as he watched Jonghyun continue causing for girls to faint at the sight of his face, and for their secret admirers and boyfriends to growl angrily.
Minho rolled his eyes as a group of girls ran up to Jonghyun and began offering him chocolates, cards, and pretty much themselves to him to no avail, and was about to sneer at the confident smirk painted over the shorter boy’s face, before he was suddenly interrupted by a quiet squeak of a thin girl with long hair who had at some point approached him and Changmin without him noticing.
“U-u-umn, excuse me, Minho-ssi...I-I was wondering if...if you would accept my Valentine’s Day candies? I-I know we never really talk to each other, a-and I don’t think you remember that I’m in your math class, b-but I really like you, and I think that you’re a really good soccer player and really handsome, a-and, I really hope that you’ll be my valentine!” The girl squeaked out nervously, bowing and holding a small pearl-pink box of candies to Minho.
Minho stopped where he was and looked over at the girl with large eyes, trying his best to completely ignore his dislike towards Jonghyun, and focus his attention on the girl in front of him. He wasn’t a super-popular playboy like Jonghyun was, but he was apparently popular with the girls, and yet he was still surprised by this act. Most of the school’s population of girls were already obsessing over Jonghyun parading around over to his left. He couldn’t help but be a little off guard to be confessed to at the moment, while Jonghyun was busy putting on a show. It was a shame he had absolutely no interest in having a girlfriend at the moment.
Changmin smiled to himself as he looked at Minho, curious of his reaction. Minho nipped his lip lightly before bowing lightly at the girl in front of him, and gently pushing the chocolate box back into her hands, and was about to reject her as respectfully as he could, when there was suddenly a completely content voice sounding from behind him.
“Wow! Amazing! So the girls at this school are really desperate enough that they’d even ask an alien to be their valentine!? That’s amazing, and so interesting! Even big eyed aliens can be confessed to!” Jonghyun’s completely content voice said happily from behind Minho, as the shorter leaned against the wall as well, an overly-happy smirk playing over his intense features as he watched Minho closely with his large eyes.
Minho felt a spark ignite in his chest as he heard Jonghyun, and as his fists clenched with the same furious thrill Jonghyun always lit in his stomach start up again, as he spun around sharply to face the other, excitement for the fight he could sense building up gaining on him more and more.
“Of course girls confess to me; not everyone is stupid enough to care about stupid, stuck up, playboy, rich sons who can’t do shit on their own.” Minho responded quickly but calmly, as he turned and looked intensely at the shorter boy, flaming charisma being expressed in the burning in his eyes as he burned holes in the older’s forehead.
“What the fuck did you just say!?!” Jonghyun yelled quickly, rushing into Minho’s personal space and grabbing the taller’s school jacket, yanking him down until they were face to face. “You’re just freakin’ jealous, because I could have any or every girl in the entire school if I wanted to!” He growled furiously.
Minho only rolled his eyes at this and stood back up straight, causing for Jonghyun to stand on his toes in order to stay in his face. “Yeah, if only you were tall enough to reach their lips.” He muttered cooly, causing for the now gathering spectators to all let out a loud “Ooo! Burn!”, only infuriating Jonghyun all the more.
“You get over here; I’ll frickin’ kill you.” Jonghyun hissed furiously, using his muscle to yank on Minho’s collar and for him to double over to meet the height without hurting his neck.
Changmin and the girl who had confessed to Minho both bit their lips nervously as they noticed the competitive spark building in Minho’s eyes as Jonghyun called him out.
“Dude, Minho, let it go. He’s not worth it. You know he’s always hungry and looking for a fight with you, don’t get into trouble again because of him.” Changmin began to reason as he noticed the way Minho gripped the collar on Jonghyun’s expensive Armani dress-shirt (Jonghyun never abided to the dresscode of the school uniform, but never seemed to get busted for it, either).
Minho only smirked as he heard his best friend’s words, and allowed for Jonghyun to lead him towards a more open place, a little away from the gathering spectators.
“And you know I’m always hungry and looking for a fight with him as well...” He responded contently, not once turning his intense gaze from Jonghyun’s as his best friend desperately attempted to try to talk him out of being suspended for getting into yet another fight with Kim Jonghyun.
“Heh, you don’t have to worry about getting in trouble. I’ll beat your ass so bad that the school will think that it wasn’t qualified as a fair fight and won’t punish you too badly, because you’ve already had your ass wiped and lost all face in school.” Jonghyun chirped contently, a smirk playing over his defined facial features and eyes burning, causing for all of the girls to scream their heads off from the sidelines.
Minho sniggered at this and rolled his eyes as his hands gripped Jonghyun’s collar tighter, pulling him closer and higher to his height. “Yah, shut up already. I’m so sick and tired of you thinking you’re all that because you have a nice face and drive an expensive car. You parade around with whatever girl you want, a different one every week, and think you’re high and mighty when in reality your accomplishments are as short as you are.” He responded, not letting his calmness slip anymore than the competitive spark shining in his eyes.
This caused for the gathering crowd to all cheer at once, although a verity of things. All the gathered guys cheered happily, all screaming out “YEAH! SHOW’IM MINHO-YAH!”, while all of the girls who had a few moments prior gathered around to confess to Jonghyun all screamed “NO!! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM, JONGHYUN-AH! YOU’RE AMAZING!”, but neither Jonghyun nor Minho took notice, for Jonghyun was far too worked up to think of anything besides knocking out the face of the one in front of him.
“SHUT UP!!!” Jonghyun screamed furiously, yanking down on Minho’s collar quickly and harshly, clenching his fist so tightly it caused for his muscles to clench all up his impressively sized biceps, pulling his arm back for good leverage when he finally was allowed to knock that smile from Minho’s face for good.
At that very moment, however, Baby Cupid Taemin finally managed to make his way down from his place in the clouds and allowed for a sly and plotting smile to fall over his angelic face as he slowly reached behind him and pulled one single golden arrow from his quiver, fitting it into his bow as he watched the fury building in Jonghyun’s eyes.
Minho gripped Jonghyun’s wrist as the shorter of the two held onto his collar so tightly that he was unable to break from it, and clenched his jaw as he stared at Jonghyun’s tightly clenched fist, knowing that he had pushed the older boy a little too far, and accepted the fact that he was to be punched for it. “Just hurry it up already, won’t you? Unless you’re really too chicken or not enough to actually do it.” He hissed quietly.
Jonghyun tightened his fist so much that his knuckles cracked and pulled his arm back even further as he continued to stare at Minho with furious eyes. “Choi Minho,” He started furiously, as he prepared himself to release his momentum. “You have absolutely no freaking idea how much I fuckin-’ His voice suddenly cut off completely and he froze as he was suddenly struck right in the middle of his back with a suddenly sharp pain.
“Bull’s eye...” Baby Cupid Taemin muttered to himself as he lowered his bow from face-level, plotting smile spread like butter over his lips as he stared contently at the golden arrow stuck right in the center of Jonghyun’s back.
Minho continued to brace himself as he kept staring at Jonghyun’s face, just waiting for his fist to meet with his mouth, and yet was left in suspense. “What? How much you what? Speak. Tell me what you were going to say, I want to hear it.” He asked intensely, now ready and just waiting for the punch to be delivered.
Jonghyun seemed to freeze completely from where he was, and stared at Minho with huge, confused puppy-like eyes, as if he was looking at him for the first time in his life, and his grasp on his collar faltered suddenly. “H-how I...h-how much I...” He stuttered quietly, his voice now a wispy whisper, eyes still staring at Minho with such a different shine, as if he was the newest and most amazing thing in the entire world. “...h-how much I...” He tried, as Minho continued to stare at him with almost equally confused eyes, except slightly squinted with anger still. “...How much I fucking love you, Choi Minho...” Jonghyun finally spat out, seeming just as confused as the crowd of spectators around them.
Minho tensed again, and clenched Jonghyun’s collar again, as he heard Jonghyun mutter a bad word, but didn’t really think of the other words, just anxious to fight him again. “I hate you t-wait...what did you just say?” He started aggressively, but as the words suddenly sunk into his mind, he was left with pure confusion and was now staring at Jonghyun with one eye brow raised.
Jonghyun, although still seemingly out of it, allowed for the scowl on his face to soften, and the next thing either knew, the hands that were just gripping his collar tightly were gently rubbing the sides of Minho’s cheeks lightly. “Love you. How much I love you; you have never known, my beautiful sweet. How my heart dances for you, and how you fill my mind with sweet poetry with each bat of your eyes. Eye, oh scornful eye, glower how hatefully with such fires that reflect truly the purest love in which have ignited my heart for only the shrewist you.”Jonghyun suddenly was reciting, sounding as if brainwashed suddenly.
Minho froze completely, his eyes just as wide as they possibly could be, and he felt his heart suddenly spasm in his chest as he heard Jonghyun’s words (something he could not recognize as a good or bad thing), but as his senses suddenly came back, he noticed Jonghyun’s hands now smoothing lovingly over the creases of his cheeks, his heart all but committed suicide by exploding, and he quickly struggled to try to get out of Jonghyun’s grasp.
“What!? N-no! Wait! Wh-wha-what are you saying!? Wh-what are you-Jonghyun let go of me!! What are you doing? Y-you hate me! You freaking hate me, remember!?! You were about to punch me-wh-what-WOAH!” Minho struggled at first, but ended up shouting as he was suddenly pulled down and to the side until he was being held completely in Jonghyun’s hold, Jonghyun’s arms the only thing keeping him vertically in the air, his feet barely touching the ground as he stared up at Jonghyun’s face with pure confusion.
“Hatred. Oh how harsh and scornful words spill from your beautiful lips. How such a hurtful feeling might I feel for you, but there would never be such hatred. For I was confused before-Minho, my Minho, how I love thee! Excuse such sorrowful failures of expressing my feelings for you, for now, as if pushed into fresh water of acknowledgement, I find my love for thee. How love is expressed in such difficult ways!” Jonghyun recited happily, as Minho struggled to get out of his arms.
“N-no! Wh-what the hell are you faking, Kim Jonghyun, you bastard! You hate me, I know you do! Stop acting like this! You’re sick! Freaking stop this and let me go! Let go, Kim Jonghyun! Stop it!” Minho shouted, as he struggled in Jonghyun’s apparently strong arms.
Jonghyun only smiled and silenced Minho’s protests by leaving a soft kiss tracing over the other’s lips. “Confused, I might have been, but hate you not. For love is expressed in many different ways, Minho my sweet. For Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or Bends with the remover to remove. O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken. It is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.*”He recited, as Minho all but dropped dead in his arms, upon realizing that his first kiss had just been stolen on Valentine’s Day by no other than his ultimate and beloathed rival.
Baby Cupid Taemin giggled contently with his doings, watching the arrow-stricken boy confess and swoon over no other than the one who he had once claimed to hate more than anything he had ever seen before in his entire life, and as the other was left in complete and utter shellshock and confusion. He had surely made his job amusing and fulfilling again, but there was only one more thing to be done: he allowed himself to laugh again at the awkward scene in front of him before slowly reaching behind him to pull one last golden arrow from his quiver and fit it into his bow, then raised it to eye level, aiming straight for Minho’s forehead.
“KIM JONGHYUN! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO!?” Minho screamed at the top of his lungs, as he managed to break out of his shock, and suddenly realized he had just been kissed by the annoying bastard he hated more than anything. “What do you think you’re doing!? What the hell did you just do!? Don’t you ever, EVER do that! Don’t you EVER-” He was suddenly pushed to silence when a sudden shot of pain pushed into his head, and he was forced to close his eyes tightly for a moment, in hopes to soothe the pain, only to find the world’s most beautiful and amazing thing staring up at him the moment they finally fluttered back open when the pain died down a little bit.“Don’t you ever allow for another moment to pass where those lips are not on mine.”He found himself whispering dreamily, after a long moment.
Jonghyun seemed rather surprised by this response, but nothing less than ecstatic as he smiled widely, a handsome smile which made Minho’s heart swoon. “Upon thy cheek I lay this zealous kiss, as seal to the indenture of my love.” Jonghyun recited happily, and seemed as if he were to go on, if not Minho crushing their lips together impatiently.
Baby Cupid Taemin smiled contently as he stared at the unusual and anything-but-picture-perfect couple he had created in front of him, as they continued kissing in front of the crowd which had gathered to watch them fight, and allowed a content smile to fall across his face. With the two golden arrows in which he had stuck them, it was the future and destiny forever of Kim Jonghyun and Choi Minho, the two rivals who seemed to be born to hate each other and annoy each other for the rest of their lives, to be infatuated and completely doting on each other for the rest of eternity. It had been his job for centuries to choose the two most perfect people to love each other for their entire mortal lives, but never before had he been more content with the choice he had made.
And as the two newly found lovers made their way off, Minho carrying the muscular Jonghyun into the sunset, speaking of when it came to his love, he was truly tall, all the gods and goddesses above, and all the men and woman on earth realized one thing: CUPID IS CRAZY.
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A/N: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE! Who needs going out with one's boyfriend/girlfriend or beloved on Valentine's Day when you have JongHo? I hope you enjoy, and if my Korean title is wrong (still learning) let me know. THANKS. ;3