Haetae [Part 1]
Title: Haetae
Prompt: #4
For: Jongkeywedding on aff
Pairing: JongKey
Author: Anonymous
Word count: 33,600
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Blood, violence, homophobia... army life.
Summary: Jonghyun enlists for his compulsory military service and finds that the army is all too like the music industry that thought he'd left behind him, where sucking up to the right people is more important than anything else. Luckily he quickly finds new friends to help him along and a new authority figure to drive up the wall. Alternatively: A story in which Jonghyun and Kibum pretend to be egoistic assholes, but don't manage to fool anyone except themselves and each other.
>><<
AN: Regiments in the Korean Army usually have nicknames, so for this story I decided to pick a fictional one, ‘Haetae’ (which is a mythical fire-breathing dog/unicorn/mountain guardian thing… they’re cute) instead of one of a real one, like ‘Angry Wave’, ‘The Key’ or ‘Tumbler’.
Chapter 1
Jonghyun sighed to himself as he watched the raindrops chase one another down the coach's windows. They were far more interesting to him than the steep, grey mountains and bare trees that had been the only view for the last few hours, and which were now fading away into the deepening twilight.
He'd left his training camp behind him at dawn, along with all his ill feelings for the place, and since then he'd spent the entire day exactly where he was now, sitting dejectedly in a hard and worryingly itchy bus seat, which was adorned with some weird, beige, fringy-crochet bullshit, which dust, or maybe ash, was still being shook out of after 8 hours of driving. The wretched vehicle had already weaved its way around what felt like half the country - picking up soldiers and dropping them off again at different bases in South Korea's sprawling military network - and Jjong was almost driven to praying to God, who he didn't even believe in for fuck’s sake, that his stop would come next so that he could just. be. still. for one second.
Yet, once the bus did finally let him go Jonghyun would be stuck spending the next two years of his life there… wherever ‘there’ was exactly. No one had seen fit to tell him anything about his deployment, he had little to no information on what was actually waiting for him at his destination and had been assigned no specialty during training. And he couldn't help but feel a little bitter (ok really bitter) like he'd been handed a prison sentence for doing nothing at all.
Of course rationally he knew, and had always known, that military service was what was expected of him. But it wasn't as if he had ever followed expectations before. In truth, he was far more comfortable defying them... and at the training camp it’d been made very clear that this tendency was not going to help him. It had in fact crossed his mind that his remote, northern posting might be a reflection on the apparent “lack of discipline, aptitude and plain common sense" he'd shown over the last 5 weeks. Better to keep the embarrassing ones out of harms way... or maybe give them tough conditions to harden them up and make them into 'real men'... Who knew? The army seemed to be pretty weird like that.
Jjong went back to watching the raindrops blankly. Maybe he wasn't really in any hurry to get there after all. But as much as he'd like to put off the inevitable, the increasing number of checkpoints and barbed wire fences that they were passing through told him that it wouldn't be possible for much longer. 'Trapped' was a feeling that he'd just have to get over. True, it was never Jonghyun's original plan to be in the army at this time in his life, but this time was as good (or as bad) as any other.
He was probably a little older than the average enlistee, he thought, but he’d known that would happen when he'd skipped service earlier on in life to pursue a career in music. Jjong had also skipped his last year of school to pursue a career in music... and more recently he'd skipped out on his band to pursue a solo career in music. To many people he probably seemed like a slacker or a disappointment, but he was really just single-minded and unwilling to be anything but himself. His music had come second to everything (except his family) for a long time… Which in hindsight was reckless because now he had no formal education to fall back on. Not that he’d been a good student whilst he was still at school. Besides, Jonghyun didn't even know what he’d want to do if he couldn't be a singer - so he’d decided to go to the army and then... well he had two years to work out the then bit. Honestly he was hoping that after two years his mistakes would have been forgotten by his peers, or forgiven at least, and that he'd have gained some profound and transformative life experiences that would mature and develop him as an artist... haha. Yeah, Jonghyun was just getting his mandatory service out of the way whilst his career was in a ditch. That was pretty much the shape of it.
The coach finally grumbled to a halt, and the twelve or so men seated around him began to stir as a damp looking sergeant stomped aboard.
"ATTENTION MEN! YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR FINAL DESTINATION!” Eugh, “EVERYONE IS TO GATHER ALL OF THEIR BELONGINGS ON THE DOUBLE, EXIT THE COACH IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND MAKE TWO LINES OUTSIDE FACING THE MESS BUILDING. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"
"YES SIR!"
"THEN GET TO IT!" Shouted the sergeant from the front.
"YES SIR!"
Fuck, Jonghyun hated officers and their incessant shouting….
*
Officers and rain. Cold rain was the worst, and this rain was so cold it felt like it'd turn to snow in a couple of days. In fact, now that he thought about it Jjong thought he could make out some ice crystals sticking to the lens of his glasses.
Trying to peer past the offending slush, he could just about make out a platform with three people and a flagpole on it. They looked just as wet as he did, but their body language didn’t betray any feelings about it, maybe they were better at hiding their discomfort. Maybe one got better at hiding it after being forced to spend a couple of months freezing to death on a barren parade ground.
Beyond them there was a small slope with a large, rectangular building at the top, the control center probably. It looked surprisingly hospitable compared to the horror stories he'd heard about these far-flung, mountain bases. (He’d imagined they were made out of corrugated iron and chipboard, with no running water, but this one definitely had at least brick walls and warm electric lights.) Around that there were sundry other buildings, all smaller, but no less substantial looking, probably barrack blocks. Further off he could just about make out a few huge sheds that he guessed housed vehicles or something and a couple of bushy shrubs. This main part of the base seemed to be set in a small valley, or maybe an old quarry, in the dark he really couldn't tell. But it was definitely trees rather than wire that rose up either side of the parade ground and that was welcome.
"PRIVATES!" A sharp voice rang out, and Jjong’s eyes reflexively snapped to the front, "WELCOME TO HAETAE: 5th INFANTRY REGIMENT OF THE 4TH ARMY CORPS, MY NAME IS CAPTAIN KIM KIBUM. IF YOU WERE NOT ALERADY AWARE YOU ARE IN INJE, THE DMZ IS APPROXIMATELY 15KM IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU ARE HERE TO GUARD IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"YES SIR!" The dozen or so men (boys) shouted back. Pretty enthusiastically all things considered, Jonghyun felt a little sick. Still, that answered the question of where exactly he was, it sounded like he'd get posted to some windswept watchtower for months at a time and have to watch North Koreans even more pitiful than himself pick their noses, or whatever it is that people do when they’re guarding a minefield no one wants to cross.
"GOOD. I HOPE THAT YOU WILL WORK HARD AND SERVE HAPPILY." At least the captain managed to sound somewhat sincere, but then again, he probably got an office and someone to shine his boots for him. "LIEUTANANT SOOWOOK WILL TAKE YOUR NAMES AND DIRECT YOU TO YOUR NEW BILLETS. I SUGGEST THAT YOU MAKE YOUR WAY THERE AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN." Maybe that meant they were allowed to run there to get out of the pelting rain.
"YES SIR!"
"HAETAE!"
"HAETAE!" Well that ridiculous salute was going to get old quickly. Pity, as he’d always thought haetaes were quite cute.
Lieutenant Soowook turned out to be a slow worker, and Jjong had to suppress the urge to hop from foot to foot in impatience, (he'd learnt the wrong way that that was a disciplinable offence.)
“Private Kim Jonghyun?”
“Yes Sir!”
“You are assigned to Squadron 525, wait here a second, whilst I find the other who will go with you, it is quite a long walk. - Private Lee Taemin?”
“Yes Sir!”
“You are also assigned to Squadron 525, go with Private Kim. To get there follow the path between those two trees,” he motioned vaguely to the right of the control building. “Take the left fork in the path and it is the third block.”
“Yes Sir!” The young, very young Jjong guessed, private stuttered out. He looked completely frozen and Jjong thought that the faster the two of them got inside, the better. He hung back waiting for the teenager to adjust his bags and they set off together towards their new home in silence.
*
The barrack lobby was warm and dazzlingly bright. Jonghyun suddenly felt self conscious of his own bedraggled state when faced with the pristine floor and the equally pristine man opposite him. Registering the green flashes on his shoulders, he saluted.
“PRIVATE KIM JONGHYUN AND PRIVATE LEE TAEMIN REPORTING TO SQAUDRON 525, SIR!” Jjong flinched at the shockingly loud noise that exploded from next to him.
“There’s no need to shout quite so loudly.” Said the sergeant with a smile on his face... His annoyingly charming and high-up face.
“Yes sir.” replied Taemin, much, much more softly. Jjong looked properly at his young companion for the first time. He looked like a skinny, soggy angel, blinking happily up at their new sergeant. He couldn’t really blame him. The sergeant had an undeniably friendly aura about him and Jonghyun got the feeling that they’d been lucky; he’d heard plenty of horror stories about people stuck in the army with not-so-nice commanders.
“Well… Welcome. My name is Sgt. Choi Minho. I’ll be your squadron leader for the foreseeable future. I promise to take good care of you.” Jjong and Taemin nodded blankly. “By the way, which one of you is which?”
“Um… I’m Jonghyun, this is Taemin I suppose” Taemin looked a little betrayed, so he smiled at him encouragingly, which seemed to cheer him up.
“Good” Minho Beamed. “Now we have that sorted-“
The officer then led them off through one of the sets of the fire-doors, chattering happily and pointing out useful rooms as they went.
“Now this is us, 525. Do you remember how you got here?”
“…”
“No of course you don’t.” Minho swung the door open to reveal a long, spartan room, painted a light grey. On either side there were wide, laminate sleeping platforms with shelving hung on the walls above them for equipment. It was completely spotless and without any hint of the personality of its inhabitants. Even the soldiers’ shoes were all arranged in the same order under their sections.
The men themselves were all sprawled across the far end, their eyes glued to a girl group performing on the small television. Jonghyun suddenly felt a little nervous now faced with his new comrades, like it was his first day in a new a school.
“Ahem.” Minho announced their presence, and the men seemed to notice them for the first time. To Jonghyun’s relief they actually looked… keen to meet them.
“This is Kim Jonghyun and Lee Taemin our new squad-mates.” The two newcomers tried to smile and wave, but it inevitably came out a little awkward. Jonghyun had always considered himself to be an extrovert, but strangers, and even worse strange groups, had always made him uncomfortable.
“Jonghyun, Taemin… This is Kim Dongmin, Lee Jiwoo, Lee Jihyung, Kwon Seungdae and Park Yongbin. They’re won’t bite you know, no need to look so worried.”
The tall bastard actually winked. Jonghyun thought he was probably right though, they all looked harmless enough, much like any other bunch of college age guys. Certainly not hardened men of action or ruthless trained killers, or biters. Hopefully none of them snored.
“You can get to know them better later,” Said Minho, tapping his watch. “But right now I suggest that you drop your things and go straight to the showers before lights out.” Jonghyun must have looked bewildered because he got laughed at. “Go on, second door on the left! Don’t worry about your things, it’s your first night, we’ll sort it this time -“ They didn’t really have to be told twice a shower sounded great.
*
Jjong made sure to make the most of his shower. From his experiences at training he knew that it was probably the longest, and the quietest, that he’d get for a long time, and after being outside for half an hour in the freezing rain he really appreciated it. All in all he thought that he could have done a lot worse. He wasn’t quite ready to pronounce his military career to be the highlight of his life just yet. Or even close to it. But by the time he left the shower room he was in a much better mood that when he’d left Seoul that morning. (Not that that was difficult, he’d cried solidly for the first hour after saying goodbye to his mother and sister… and the hour before.)
When he got back to room 525 all of his things had been put neatly away in one of the spare storage units and his bed roll had been laid out for him alongside everyone else’s. The rest of the squadron were all sprawled about the place in an almost comically domestic fashion, at least half of them cooing over poor Taemin who was clearly a much faster washer than he was.
“Ah Jonghyun, you took your time!”
“We thought you had drowned!”
“Look, isn’t Taemin cute, he’s our new maknae. What’s your age?”
“Yah! Don’t call me cute! I thought that age wasn’t supposed to matter in the army!” Taemin protested, even though it was useless, everyone seemed to have already decided for him.
“So cute!” Jonghyun agreed, any one could see that Taemin was weirdly adorable for a man in his 20s (not a teenager as he’d first assumed.) Jjong sensed that his might be an on-going frustration for him.
“Leave him alone guys.” Interrupted the sergeant. “We’re all friends here as you well know… except for me… I’m in charge.” Everyone erupted into laughter. “Hey! Insubordination! I am in charge and lights go out in 30 seconds, so if you don’t all go to bed and shut up I’ll be forced to prove it. So there.”
Jonghyun could almost sense him fighting back the urge to stick his tongue out. Minho seemed like such a kid at heart. He sort of wondered how he’d managed to rise to the highest enlisted rank with such a laid-back attitude… but maybe he was different in front of the career officers. He wondered if it would feel like a betrayal to be made to run laps or scrub floors by him. Maybe it’d be better because he’d know that he hadn’t meant to be mean?
Rank was something that Jjong just couldn’t understand yet, along with the dehumanization involved in being part of the military - that disturbed him no end. The thought that people chose this as a way of life. The thought that he had no choice but to be a part of it. However he put it to one side for the moment. All things considered he was happy with how the day had ended, and although he hadn’t held up much hope of being able to sleep on his first night in the real army, his mind was at peace enough to let his exhaustion claim him quickly for the first time in what could have been months.
Chapter 2
The next day was bright and brilliantly cold. Jonghyun could see his breath crystallising in the air in front of him as he went through the motions of stretching. They’d all been woken up before dawn by the bell and harassed into their sports kit and out of the barracks for a run before breakfast. This was to happen every day for the foreseeable future, but Jjong didn’t exactly mind. Despite his alleged ‘incompetence’ as a recruit he was pretty physically fit, and being forced outside first thing every morning meant that he would never have to make small talk with his squad-mates before he was properly conscious.
This morning however he felt pretty well rested and keen to scope out his new surroundings. As far as he could tell his first impression of his new home had been pretty accurate. The Fifth Infantry was based in a wide mountain valley, almost like a crater, with steep slopes at the edges covered in pine trees. Watchtowers jutted out from the tops of the surrounding ridges and the perimeter fences seemed to either be hidden amongst the foliage, or on the other side of the hills. The camp was somewhat bigger than he had first thought, with more flat space and more buildings than he’d been able to make out in the low light last evening. Including quite a few other barracks, all with groups of men like his own outside them, jogging restively on the spot, impatient to get going and warm up. Their block was right on the edge of the encampment, part way up one of the slopes and it seemed smaller than any of the others that he could see - maybe 150 men including the officers present. He idly wondered if that had any significance.
Looking closer at his company his eyes alighted on a figure he somehow recognised to be the captain that’d greeted them last night. That was surprising, Jonghyun had hardly paid any attention to him yesterday, not having expected to come across him again, or been in the mood to pay attention. He was certainly attractive though when viewed through fresh eyes, so Jonghyun must have checked him out subconsciously. Even in the unforgiving morning light the best word Jjong could come up with to describe him was ‘neat.’ Of course they were all neat; neatly dressed, neatly shaven etc. But standing next to the squat, grizzled, sergeant major, the captain seemed to possess neatness on a transcendent level. He just looked oddly perfect, like a computer simulation of a model officer, refined and polished down to the slightest detail. He probably measured the angle of his beret with a protractor…
The Sergeant major cleared his throat to begin his shouting. “RIGHT YOU PATHETIC BUNCH OF COCKROACHES!” Oh when would NCOs become agreeable people?
“NORMAL ROUTE, SHOW YESTERDAY’S NEW RECRUITS HOW WE DO IT!”
“YES SIR!”
“NEW COCKROACHES!”
“YES SIR!” Jonghyun was about to mumble until he remembered that that only meant him and Taemin. A lucky escape.
“I HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE ROUGH TERRAIN, BECAUSE IF YOU TRIP OVER ANY ROOTS NO ONE’S CARRYING YOU BACK. DON’T FALL BEHIND.”
“YES SIR!”
“WHAT ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR? GET YOUR FLABBY ARSES MOVING! NOW!”
Jonghyun thought that he caught the captain rolling his eyes… although he was probably mistaken. He hadn’t had much to do with the commissioned ranks yet but he knew that a captain as young as this one seemed to be had no place questioning a Sergeant Major. He did look like the type to be stuck up, but definitely not like a rebel. In later times Jonghyun would wonder how he’d ever thought that.
*
Once they got moving he found, despite the SGM’s gruff warnings, that the pace wasn’t challenging at all. 5 weeks of training had him as fit as he’d ever been and he easily caught up to Minho - who didn’t look like he was finding this any more strenuous than a lazy stroll.
“Minho…Sir? I just wanted to say thank you for last night.”
“Oh! No problem! You seem well this morning... Is there anything more we can do for you?”
“You’re being serious aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course I am…” Minho looked honestly confused. “Why?”
“Nothing” Jonghyun chuckled, “I just never expected someone so famous to be so considerate… and I apologise for thinking otherwise.”
Minho laughed, “By your behaviour I couldn’t even tell you thought that! There’s nothing to apologise for -“
“Hold on a second.” They hadn’t noticed Taemin keeping pace nearby. “But I’m a little confused… isn’t Jonghyun hyung the famous one?”
“Eh???”
“Kim Jonghyun, bass player of Blue Night, you were my favourite member but then you left, I have all your albums - and I was really looking forwards to your solo work… but… But this is really embarrassing isn’t it?”
Jonghyun didn’t quite know how to react to Taemin’s little outburst, “Wow, you must really know your music to know who I am!”
“You’re a musician?” Asked Minho.
“Yes, erm, well I was a musician. Not a very successful one though…” Taemin looked horrified at his tone. “Cheer up Minnie, I’m glad that at least one person knows me… what else do you listen to…” Taemin was really too cute, and shaping up to be a great conversation partner if he knew lots about obscure indie bands.
“Oh tons of cool stuff. Don’t call me Minnie though.”
*
“So who is Minho anyway?” Taemin had been badgering Jonghyun about music all morning. It was now about half past nine, and they were having breakfast in the cafeteria.
“You don’t recognise him? at all?
“No.”
“Our illustrious sergeant is a famous actor.” Said Yongbin, the former junior member of the squadron. He seemed very pleased to have Taemin around and had been trying to give him advice whenever he could. Jjong though that it was sweet, but that it probably wouldn’t last. He suspected that Taemin was quite wily in his own way and would be over needing help very quickly.
“Oh…really?”
“Is it really that surprising?” Interrupted the man in question as he took a seat.
“No… hang on… are you trying to imply that you’re handsome Sir?”
“Haha! He has you there Sergeant!” hollered someone from across the table.
Jonghyun for some reason thought that he should step in. “Minho is quite famous, he was in ‘To The Beautiful You’, and ‘Medical Top Team’, and ‘Because It’s The First Time’, and…”
“Wow, you must really know your dramas!” Taemin replied. The cheeky shit.
“Well my mum and my sister watch them… I just have to hear about them a lot ok.”
“You don’t have a girlfriend?”
“No why?”
“No reason.” Taemin hummed innocently. “You just seem like the romantic type… following all of the sergeant’s obviously cheesy dramas...”
“Do you have a girlfriend Minnie? Or just a waifu?”
Taemin just spluttered.
“God you two are going to be fun.”
Jonghyun decided that morning that Minho was entirely too at ease with the prospect of chaos to be a real sergeant.
*
That afternoon Jonghyun learnt that Minho didn’t deal quite so well with chaos when his team was coming in last place.
After chores and lunch the squadron had changed into their combat gear and been led out to the back of the base for training. So far this had involved them, and several other squadrons, racing each other to get as wet, muddy and bruised as possible whilst dragging equipment through an assault course. Much to Jonghyun’s embarrassment he’d twice had to be hauled over walls by his teammates (and it wasn’t that he was too short to get over them by himself - he just wasn’t very springy) and had fallen into 3 muddy puddles (up to his chest). Meanwhile Minho had been loosing his rag a bit because of his newly slowed down team and was valiantly attempting to calm himself down by muttering, ‘This is the object of the exercise, this is the object of the exercise…’ under his breath. Jonghyun pretended not to have noticed, but he felt oddly guilty all the same.
“SERGEANT CHOI MINHO! WHY IS YOUR TEAM FALLING BEHIND?”
In contrast, Captain Kibum, who was leading the drill, seemed to be taking a perverse glee in Minho’s pseudo-breakdown. Jonghyun felt like punching his smug, perfect, face.
“Just teething troubles…Sir. Nothing to worry about.” replied Minho, gritting his teeth.
“Are you sure? Because looser has to bring all of the kit back to base… and clean it.” He added with a tauntingly raised eyebrow.
“YES SIR!”
“Good.” Kibum smirked and slunk off, leaving Minho to shout more orders at them in a doomed attempt at regaining order.
“What a bastard.” Jonghyun observed, but Taemin, his partner for now, seemed to have spaced out. “I SAID WHAT a bas-TAEMIN?” Still no reply. The kid really had gone somewhere else… A mischievous thought crossed Jjong’s mind, and before he knew it he’d hit him square in the chest with a ball of mud.
“Yah!” Taemin came back to the land of the living “- what the hell was that for?”
“CHOI MINHO! KEEP YOUR PATHETIC TEAM IN ORDER!” Jonghyun had never cringed so hard in his life. Caught red handed, and on his first full day…
“PRIVATE KIM, JUST WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?”
“SIR! SORRY! SIR!” The captain had gotten right up in his face, Jjong could feel the calm rage radiating off him and he was forced to look up a couple of centimetres at him in humiliation.
“DO YOU NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?”
Jonghyun had to think hard about the double negative in that question “SIR! NO! SIR!”
“THIS IS NOT A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION. DROP AND IVE ME 50.”
It was unpleasant doing press ups with mud squelching between his fingers, but it could have been worse. His pride felt more damaged than anything else.
“SERGEANT-”
“YES SIR!” Minho replied. Jonghyun could hear the wince in his voice.
“Don’t let that happen again.”
“Whatever Sir...”
Wait, what?
He couldn’t see what was happening from his position on the ground but there was no angry reply from the captain. Nothing at all to be heard except the vibrations of his steps moving off. Minho didn’t say anything either. Jonghyun felt like checking that he hadn’t slipped into a parallel universe - not that he knew how he’d check - maybe that’s where Taemin had been visiting a second ago.
“You’ve done more than 50 of those you know.”
“Oh?” Jonghyun replied blankly and got back to his feet, wiping his hands clean against his trousers. “Thank you Sir.”
Once Minho’s back was turned Jonghyun decided to question one of his teammates, “You don’t think that was a bit odd?”
“What? Captain Kibum trying to rip you a new one? Definitely not.” Said Jihyung. He thought it was Jihyung.
“No… that I anticipated… I meant the way he was with the sergeant…”
“Nah, no big deal. The captain’s just a fan of Minho’s dramas” Jihyung winked.
He felt like he was missing something.
*
By dinnertime Jonghyun was exhausted. The canteen was full of the clatter and chatter of hungry men as everyone wolfed down their food.
They’d somehow managed not to lose the challenge earlier, but they’d still been roped into helping clear up. Minho had insisted it was a matter of loyalty and comradeship - Dongmin had told Jjong it was because the losing team were on canteen duty that week and that Minho having two deserts on his tray was not a coincidence. Jjong actually believed both explanations to a degree.
“So, Jonghyun, almost 24 hours, you still ok?” Asked Minho.
“Yes, I haven’t even cried yet.”
“Is that surprising?”
“Yes, very.” Jjong replied whilst shovelling food into his mouth. He was actually pretty pleased with himself, 24 hours was amazing under the circumstances, but then again, the 12 hours previous to that had been a wash out so…
“How long before you dissolve into a blubbering wreck then?”
“Oh, first time I call home for sure... I’ll probably drown”
“I’ll watch out for it.” Minho offered companionably. “What are your family like?”
“I have a mother, and an older sister. We’re very close; I still live…d with them. That’s about it really.” He waited for the inevitable question about his father, but thankfully it never came and they reverted to a comfortable silence.
“Hey Minho…”
“Yep.”
“The captain?”
“Kibum? What about him? Are you worried about him shouting at you?”
“No, I’m used to it… He didn’t really shout at you though~” Jjong added tentatively, but something in his tone must still have got Minho’s back up because the sergeant’s whole demeanour suddenly changed.
“What are you trying to say?” It was the first time he’d sounded even remotely hostile.
“Christ nothing. What did you think I was trying to say?”
“Nothing.”
“Then what’s-“
“Nothing.” Minho cut him off. “It’s just that Kibum and I know each other… It’s not really something that it’s appropriate to discuss.”
“Okay.” Said Jjong simply, and left it there. He still wanted to know what Minho was hiding, but he could tell that pushing the issue now wouldn’t be a good idea. Maybe he’d find out later-
“Hey! Check out Taebaby!” Came a cry from down the other end of the table. Minho and Jonghyun glanced around to see what was going on and both instantly cracked up, the earlier atmosphere instantly forgotten. The boy leaning against one of the vending machines, trying desperately to look cool and mysterious whilst drinking flavoured milk through a straw. Needless to say it wasn’t totally working out for him.
Jonghyun decided to use the distraction to change the subject. “Jeez, he seems so young for his age.”
Taemin noticed them laughing at him and glared back, it wasn’t intimidating.
“Haha! I know! Or we’re old.”
“You play high school kids though!?” Jonghyun said, trying to be playful.
“Not any more I don’t.”
“Huh? Spill.”
“Well” said Minho, aping his fingers on the table as he thought. “I think the main reason why I joined up now,, rather than later, was because I kept only being offered school age roles. I thought that if I went away for a bit, did my service, that when I came back people would finally want to cast me as an adult.”
“Ohhh, that makes sense I guess... Not scared that people will forget you I see?”
“Hey! I’ve been here for almost a year and a half and you still know who I am!”
“-Barely!” called a voice from elsewhere.
“Shut up Seungdae!”
“Really that long?” Jonghyun continued, ignoring the other rowdy soldiers. “It seems like only yesterday my sister was crying over the morning news.”
“Ok, I may have a bit of an ego, but I know that that must be a lie.”
“But how would you know? She could be a demented saesang who got me assigned here and is blackmailing me into sending her your old socks or something!”
“Oh haha. And maybe Taeminnie is your crazed super-fan and we’ll catch him sniffing your pillow.”
“Nice try, but if I had super-fans then I wouldn’t be here, it’s not like I’m an idol.”
“Would you want to be?” Minho asked.
“Nooo, that’d be like being in a cross between my old band and being here. No creative freedom, and no physical freedom. I just want to write my own songs and be able to make a living from it.” Minho just nodded understandingly and smiled at him, their previous awkwardness forgotten already.
Some days later Minho and Onew were hanging out in Kibum’s room, as was their habit. The captain’s quarters were pretty sparse, but far, far more luxurious than the dormitories of the regular soldiers. There was a single bed, desk, chair, a cupboard and a sink. And if Kibum had had anyone inspecting it, it would have been perfectly neat and clean, however he didn’t and there was a variety of personal debris littered over every surface. Needless to say it was more than a little cramped for the three of them, but nobody minded because it was private and Kibum somehow managed to keep it smelling nice. He was very proud of that.
He’d been sneaking Minho into his quarters since he’d arrived on base as a private a year and a half ago. It wasn’t very difficult, his room was on the ground floor and Minho had long enough legs to climb in through the window. He couldn’t exactly remember why or when they’d started inviting Dr Jinki, but it seemed natural to have him there as well and he was nice company.
Kibum took a sip of his grape juice and screwed up his face at the taste. “I know this looks like wine, but it’s really not the same.” He moaned.
“If you wanted to become a full time alcoholic you shouldn’t have joined the Army. I think I told you that at the time.” Replied Minho.
“I didn’t know how important it’d be to me back then”
Minho stuck his tongue out at him. “Well it’s bad for you anyway.”
“Actually European studies have found that a small glass of red wine a day is actually beneficial to health.”
“…See! Even Jinki agrees with me.”
Minho had to be a bastard and state the inconvenient truth, “doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have any.”
“Huh, I guess so.” Agreed the captain, settling into a sullen silence.
Onew seemed to decide that it’d be a good time to change the subject. “How are your new private’s settling in Minho? You seem to like them.”
“I do… They’ll be fine.” Replied the sergeant with a proud smile.
“We’re supposed to be getting a lot more soon” Said Kibum, still feeling sullen. He didn’t want to talk about Minho’s new recruits. One of them was far too annoying [-ly attractive]
“Hmm?”
“There’s talk amongst the top-brass of expanding operations along the DMZ. The 6th battalion has already been given 100 more men.”
“How strange… What’s that all about? Where are we going to keep them all?” Asked the doctor.
“Not sure yet. They’re not telling me anything. There’s probably some intel somewhere about defections increasing or something. I don’t know what else they’d need men on the ground for.”
“How funny-“
There was a sharp knock at the door, surprising the room’s occupants. Minho got up silently and squeezed himself quickly into the corner behind the doorframe.
“Captain Kim Sir?” Came the voice of a sergeant from outside.
Kibum checked that Minho was hidden, and Onew tried to act natural. “Enter.”
“Sir!” Saluted a self-satisfied looking little sergeant. “There’s a problem in the Kitchen sir! - The two new recruits in Sgt Choi’s squadron have been caught stealing.”
“So?” Replied Kibum, somewhat unprofessionally, not that this sergeant would dare pull him up on it. He was far too eager for his approval. Kibum couldn’t bear him. “Go find Choi, he can deal with it.”
“Sorry sir! He’s nowhere to be found sir!”
He could feel Onew vibrating beside him, trying to contain a fit of the giggles; he needed to get the sergeant out of there. “Fine.” He rolled his eyes, “I’ll be along in a minute.”
“Sir! Yes Sir!” Saluted the sergeant as he scurried off back to where he’d come from.
“I knew they were trouble.” Stated the Captain as he got up and dusted himself off, leaving Onew to collapse as he straightened out the creases in his trousers and reaching for his beret…
“-Actually I doubt this was their idea.” Said Minho conversationally as they walked over to the kitchens. They’d left Onew where he was to finish off the not-wine.
“Explain.”
“It’s an initiation thing…. to sneak into the kitchens and steal a carrot… all the enlistees do it… I did it too… we make the carrots into mascot”
Kibum looked unimpressed. “Eugh, conscripts. They could at last avoid getting caught-“ That way he wouldn’t have to spend time thinking about how to discipline them, that was very distracting business. He swung open the Kitchen door and marched in, Minho following two steps behind him just as he should.
“So… What do we have here then?”
“Sir! These men were caught stealing sir!” Said the smug sergeant from earlier. Not daring to ask where he’d conjured Minho from, poor guy probably thought that Kibum had magical summoning skills. Good.
“Is this true?” The captain questioned the sorry looking privates.
The new recruits, Jonghyun and Taemin, had for some reason been cuffed to one of the chairs and were looking half terrified, half just irritated. Doubtlessly the sergeant hadn’t held back when impressing upon them the seriousness of their crimes. The handcuffs were totally over the top. Little people did love their power trips.
“Yes sir.” They replied.
“Why were you stealing?”
“We wanted a carrot sir. We’re very fond of them.” Said Jonghyun. Obviously Kibum was not convinced, Jonghyun did not put any effort into that excuse at all and it didn’t help that the other had made a face of disgust. Still… he wanted to see if they’d protect their team.
“I don’t believe you. Did your squadron put you up to this?”
“No sir.”
“Fine….” Kibum looked sideways at their sergeant. So they were lying, that didn’t matter this time, it was just a carrot for fuck’s sake. Team unity was more important anyway… “ Minho.”
“Yes sir?” He looked wary, also good.
“Your men need more training! They’re not nearly stealthy enough! You and your squadron are to spend all next Sunday doing extra practice!” Haha, poor, sweet Minho looked stricken. But ultimately this was his fault, so he could hardly complain.
Chapter 3
After a couple weeks Jonghyun had thoroughly settled into the routine of camp life. He now knew which the dodgy showers were, where to find a free dryer at any time and which duty officers to avoid at all costs. On the first day, before breakfast, he and Taemin had been called into the Major’s office to be formally welcomed and told that they were part of the regiment’s reconnaissance section. That suited Jjong fine, he’d never fancied driving a tank anyway (lies).
He had phoned home three times so far. Minho did watch out for him the first time, and gotten wept all over for his troubles. He took it well. His team had grown on him too (even if he found himself wishing that they’d shut up several times a day) and he wasn’t looking forwards to the time when they’d all finish their service and just he and Taemin would be left behind in charge of the new enlistees.
Overall he had imagined that he would feel lonelier than he did. A couple of days ago he’d watched the first snow fall with a group of men that he barely knew - but listening to them all talk about where they’d rather be, and who they’d rather be with, had made him realise that he was experiencing something that every other man in Korea would… and Jjong always felt better about things once he’d found a semi-profound angle to look at them from. He hadn’t shared that side of himself with his team yet though… he’d be willing to bet that they’d poke fun at him for being pretentious. Even if they didn’t mean any harm by it Jjong didn’t fancy either his ‘poetic soul’ (his sister’s words) or his coping mechanisms being made fun of, not just yet.
‘Snow’ and ‘coping’ however, were not two concepts that went together for him in this situation though. In fact ‘snow’ was currently aligned with the concept ‘horrible’ and ‘coping’ firmly prefixed with ‘not’. The first snow of the year is much less romantic when you happen to be lying in it.
Squadrons 520-529 were doing combat training today. They’d been split into two teams, one defending one of the base’s watchtowers, and another attacking. 525 were on the attacking side… and Jonghyun was trying to take their lack of success as evidence that South Korea was well prepared for defence. The defending team clearly had the easier job anyway, because who on earth thought that climbing an icy, 40º slope under gunfire (blanks of course) in the snow, was easier than sitting at the top of an icy 40º slope and firing at people trying not to slide down it. That was obviously unfair… He also suspected that the supervising officer was biased.
“PRIVATE JONGHYUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Oh great, just what he needed right now. Captain fussy.
Captain Kibum had been on his back all exercise with his, ‘Get down!’, ‘What the hell are you doing!?’, ‘If this was a real combat situation you’d be dead.’ bullshit. How would he know that Jonghyun would be dead anyway? it wasn’t as if he’d ever been in a ‘real combat situation’ either… and besides, the captain made him flustered sometimes.
“Why aren’t you hiding behind the right side of the tree?”
Well that made no sense. “I thought I was on the right side?” Jjong replied, far too informally.
“You’re on the left.” Jjong could hear the disdain.
“… Trees don’t have a right and a left. They’re round.” He also should have known when to quit, but he could never resist trying to provoke the captain into letting his composure slip, even if just for a second.
“Oh for fuck’s sake…. Are you left or right handed?” Said Kibum, motioning with his hands. He obviously thought that Jonghyun was so simple that he needed to resort to sign language.
“I’m both.”
“Ugh, of course you would be - what hand are you holding your weapon in?”
Jonghyun could maybe see how he was annoying.
“My left.”
“Right… So you need to be looking out from the right side of the tree, because if you look from the left the tree is in the way of your gun. Understand?”
“I think so sir, but I’m just a bit disorientated by the noise of the guns, I think it’s because I have sensi- I mean YES SIR!”
“Good, get on with it then. Your have about 2 minutes left to reach your objective.”
Jonghyun dashed out from behind the tree and skittered sideways along the hillside, trying to keep as low as possible because he knew Kibum would be watching for anything to pick on later. His task was to relay messages back and forth amongst the platoon because they were in simulated radio silence. The reasoning behind him having this job was apparently that he was ‘a crap shot’ but, ‘a small target’. He didn’t really appreciate it. Not just because of the implied insult, but because the noise of gunfire coming at him from all angles made him really dizzy. Not ideal when you’re trying to find people… camouflaged people... who are hiding. Luckily he had a clear line of sight to where he needed to be.
He dove headfirst into the shell scoop where he found Minho and one of the company medics, known to everyone as Onew for some reason, playing a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors and not really paying attention to anything at all.
“PRIVATE KIM JONGHYUN REPORTING. SIRS!”
“Hey there. how’s it going?” Onew was even more easygoing than Minho, it probably had something to do with him ranking as Captain, equal to Kibum, or being a doctor… or just him being himself.
“Awful thanks, but Captain’s probably on his way, so maybe stop that.”
“Ah, thanks.”
“What’s the message Jjong?” Asked Minho.
“Right… umm the enemy are setting off a gas canister sometime in the next 5 minutes, you need to be ready to respond.”
“Fuck, I hate that one. You haven’t heard if they’re doing it properly or not are you? Or if it’ll just be smoke?” Minho giggled at hearing Jinki swear.
“I may or may not have heard that they’ve mixed in a little CS.” Kibum dropped into the hide.
“I wish they wouldn’t.” The doctor grumbled. “We don’t know if anyone’s allergic yet.” Kibum just shrugged.
Jonghyun observed that the three of them seemed strangely at ease with one another for people with such different personalities… but then again Jinki and Kibum probably saw each other a lot in the Officer’s Mess after duty… and Minho and Jinki, to be fair, were too nice not to get along… and from bits and pieces that the sergeant had let slip he’d gathered that he and Kibum knew each other as children.
“Maybe that’s the point-“ replied Minho grimly. “Oh! And there it is-“
There was a hissing from above, and a lot of sudden cursing. Jinki and Minho snapped on their gasmasks and jumped out to deal with it, leaving Jonghyun alone with the captain. It was awkward. Jjong didn’t know what he was supposed to be doing now, and Kibum seemed too distracted to tell him. For some reason he felt like he ought to say something…
“So, Captain, do you like hanging out with me, or do I just need extra supervision?” Probably not that though. Why was it that sometimes he just lost control over his mouth?
Kibum looked ready to kill him, but for some reason he turned away to concentrate on something that was happening outside and said nothing.
“Captain?” Jjong prompted. “Shouldn’t you be shouting at me right now? Telling me I have to scrub all of the mould off the showers when we get back? Something?...”
Kibum still wasn’t really listening. Jjong noticed that his attention was focused on the gas cloud up the hill and he was shaking a little.
“I don’t like the idea of gas either you know. It’s scary. And if it’s real then we wouldn’t know it was coming would we…” The captain tensed so Jjong knew he’d guessed right. “But then I thought about it, and I thought that gas is no more lethal than any of the other things that people use to kill. If you’re hit then you’re hit, and that’s it. You die either way. But I’ve never seen you flinch from a gunshot like I do… and that smoke is no more real than a blank in a gun.”
“You’re right Private…” Jonghyun had never heard the captain speak so softly before, his voice was deeper than he’d realised, more pleasant. “But I wasn’t thinking about us… I was thinking about what was stopping anyone from dropping gas on a city. We’re guarding the mountains up here, which needs to be done, but we can’t actually guard any people. I find that troubling”
“Oh.” That was heavier than he’d expected.
“No point dwelling on it though.” Kibum straightened up and was suddenly back to his usual self. “Good work for attempting to raise moral - But over-familiarity with senior officers is never appropriate. Speak informally to me again and I will make you scrub all the mould from the showers. With your own toothbrush.”
Jonghyun didn’t know what it said about him that he found that sort of hot.
*
Jonghyun’s barracks housed the regiment’s entire reconnaissance section. Around 160 men, in 20 squadrons, dedicated to the important task of looking at things (or ‘checking things out’ at the men liked to put it). He hadn’t met everyone yet, 3 squads had been out on manoeuvres along with some of the officers since he’d arrived… and some people were just unfriendly he guessed.
The squadrons were grouped into platoons of 5, each of which shared one of the barrack’s corridors and a bathroom. 525 sharing with 526-529. The whole section had a communal rec room, and the building housed a canteen that also served a smaller barrack next door. It was old, the fittings were outdated and it was pretty drafty in spots, but thanks to military discipline it was spotlessly clean.
The company itself was led by Major Kwon, who was rarely seen and usually to be found in the command centre building above the parade ground. He delegated most of the day to day running of things to Captain Kibum, who in turn delegated to his lackey Lt. Soowook, the other Lieutenant Jjong didn’t know and the Sergeant Major. There were also a couple more senior sergeants around who ordered people about as needed - they seemed to be the ones who actually knew what was going on - but they normally didn’t seem to interfere much in Minho’s squadron.
The bathroom that 525 shared with the rest of their platoon was currently abuzz with happy chatter instead of its normal, post-exercise gloom. Jonghyun felt calmed by the easy atmosphere rather than irritated as he might have been on another day, enjoying listening to their silly banter.
After they’d been thoroughly defeated earlier Kibum had announced out of the blue that they were celebrating with a party. His reasoning being that they weren’t expected to win in the first place, but that everyone had still tried their best. Jonghyun thought that this was a little out of character, he’d expected the captain to let them moulder in their existential gloom to teach them a lesson about the seriousness of war (or maybe it was only him who found fake-dying to be such a profoundly depressing experience anyway - he’d been blown up by a fake grenade, didn’t even see it coming.)
“Guys?” He called out above the noise of the showerheads. “Is this a regular thing?”
“What showering?” Came the sarcastic reply, followed by loud laughter.
“No idiot. Being treated by the captain.”
“Errm, semi-regular?.. He doesn’t seem to believe in incentives like the other officers.” Chimed in another voice.
“Yeah that’s true. Kinda sucks really-” Replied the first.
“But every now and again he comes over all soft on us an gives us a random reward-”
“We think it’s part of a much darker and more evil conspiracy-”
“You moron it’s from The Art of War, Chapter 9. He was probably made to read it as a child.”
“Quiet, nerd.”
“I’m just saying~”
“As a child? Who makes children read Sun Tzu?” Jonghyun wondered when he’d stop feeling out of the loop.
“His grandfather is General Kim Kisun, didn’t you know that?” Answered Seungdae from the cubicle next door.
“Well no one told me? Explains a lot though I guess.”
“Eh? You saying that the stick up his ass is genetic? Hahaha!”
That wasn’t exactly what Jonghyun had meant, but he decided to let it lay. So the captain’s grandfather was a national hero, that was interesting. He probably felt a lot of pressure… He probably got a leg up in his career too, how stereotypical.
*
The camp was completely silent at night. Jonghyun was finding it quite eerie. Insomnia was nothing new to him but this was the first time that he’d been affected since arriving. Usually he lay awake listening to the sounds of the city, but the barrack was so far from the front gate that the only noises he could hear were the rustle of the wind in the trees and the faint breathing of his roommates. He ought to have been too exhausted for this, he was exhausted. They’d woken up at 5.30, roll-call, done the morning run, the morning chores, breakfast, parade, lunch, the exercise on the hill, showered, had dinner, had a party even. Still, he was awake now and his thoughts wouldn’t let him sleep. He was probably just overtired.
His mind wandered back to the party earlier. It had been really nice. Onew and the Captain had bought them a ton of snacks from the PX, they’d got the norebang machine out, they’d had a ping-pong tournament. Everyone was happy. But Jjong had spent the evening feeling strangely restless, as if he had somewhere else to be, or as if he didn’t belong as part of the scene playing out in front of him. He did belong of course, he belonged there as much as any of the others did and it wasn’t as if he weren’t welcome or hadn’t made friends yet. Still, instead of being his normal, lively self, he’d chosen to sit alone feeling resentful of the others and their comradeship, jealous of the officers and their friendship. On the other side of the room Minho started to snore lightly, as if to remind Jjong that he was still there… and still annoying.
Ah... Yes, the officers. He could see clearly now that Minho, Onew and Kibum were a team. He couldn’t really have a problem with it. It just bothered him for some reason. If it were only Onew and Minho together then he’d have dismissed it as, ‘those two nice guys who’ve been here a while together and clearly get along.’ But the captain, with his stupid face and his stupid rules threw the whole picture off. Probably, he’d already reasoned, the captain was a completely different person in private. He’d seen glimpses of it already, but he’d have pushed it to the back of his mind and got on with life were it not for Minho’s existence. Stupid Minho didn’t seem to see ‘Captain Kibum’ at all, only his old friend playing dress-up. Maybe it was an actors’ mentality at work.
What particularly troubled Jonghyun was that his curiosity about the true nature of Kibum in no way helped him suppress his attraction towards him. He groaned and rolled over in his sleeping bag. That was another problem. It just wasn’t good to fancy your captain, it made life very hard.
Jonghyun had been doing a great job so far of not being attracted to all sorts of people he otherwise would’ve been. Like… Minho was attractive enough and Jjong wasn’t attracted to him, so was Taemin, so were hundreds of other men in the camp. Kibum was for some reason different though. He’d tried to dehumanise him, think of him only as a rank, which obviously wasn’t going to work because of bloody Minho. So he tried thinking about all of the bad things that could happen if he slipped up and the captain caught onto his crush. Yes it was a crush. The problem was that that led to him thinking of all of the good things that could maybe happen if- Eugh. He really hated himself sometimes. This wasn’t helping him get to sleep at all. He shouldn’t have to suffer at night because of the captain as well as during the day. He shouldn’t have to suffer because of Kibum at all.
This was silly. His fixation on the captain was dangerous. Jonghyun was just looking for something to distract him from the reality of being in the army and he’d seen how Minho did it and he’d wanted to follow. Kibum would never let him in. They were destined to forever remain captain and private to one another. Minho had once explained that Kibum was the type to commit to his task 100%, and aside for his dealings with Minho, he had never, to Jjong’s knowledge, deviated even a single degree from being the perfect officer. He treated him like he treated any other useless conscript. And yes, sometimes he gave a warning instead of a punishment - But more often than not he was ruthlessly strict.
Like last week, they’d been doing target practice on the range and Jjong had been struggling with his glasses. They’d kept sliding down his nose or distorting his vision. But Kibum had still kept him back until he had hit the target 5 times in a row. When Jonghyun had been cheeky he had still made him run laps for twenty minutes, and when Jjong made excuses he had still pointed out that his difficulties were his own fault for not preparing properly. As much as Jonghyun wanted to be special he wasn’t, not here, not to anyone. He was replicable, transient, just a body to fill a uniform… And there was no way that the captain would be interested in seeing him out of it.
Kibum screwed up his eyes and yawned. The lamp in his office was far to dim to read all night by, but this had to be done, the General had asked for it to be done personally. Kibum wasn’t about to be caught doing a half-assed job of it either, even if it did mean staying up until past midnight sorting through old reports. It was so boring though and the results of his work were not to his liking.
It had started when the general had noticed that the division’s evaluation reports weren’t as good as they used to be. Kibum had known that, he’d written them after all. But the general had flown off the handle about ‘standards’ and demanded that someone got demoted. Major Kwon, more afraid for his own skin than anything else, had argued that the standards hadn’t actually fallen, but that Captain Kibum was just a harsh marker who believed in higher standards than the last captain. That was true... the last captain was a soft touch… and easily distracted.
Still… the general had demanded proof that the men were being properly trained, and because this whole mess was Kibum’s fault he’d been the one designated the task of finding it. The problem was that finding said proof meant cross-referencing reports made under the old system with ones made under Kibum’s new one… and the whole point of Kibum’s new system was that the old one was very hard to sort through.
In short - he’d made this mess himself… and bureaucracy was stupid and it hurt his eyes.
What added insult to injury was that the current troops were not necessarily any better trained than the old ones. Some of them had appalling records. Take for example, Private Kim Jonghyun. He’d only been there a couple of weeks and he was already pulling down averages. There was time to turn him around sure, but the captain saw no reason to hold out any hope, the man obviously just wasn’t suited to military life... No particular skills… poor performance at boot camp… discipline issues…well obviously… typical that he should be dumped in Kibum’s section… hmm a ‘freelance musician’, that figured. He was kind of pretty though, bit short, that was cute really, and Minho liked him so he was probably not completely un-ok. Probably not quite the disrespectful, cocky bastard he could come off as- Eugh. It was too late, He needed some rest. He didn’t need to be thinking about this now. Be gone demons.
He picked at his ugly khaki uniform and felt, not for the first time, that it was a burden. Self control. It wasn’t that hard. He was a master of it. Never slip, never falter, do your job then, and only then, have your fun. It was what he’d been doing for years. He couldn’t afford to be lax, there were too many people waiting to tear him down, waiting to claim he’d risen so fast up the ranks via nepotism. He hadn’t, how could he have, when everyone was already watching him from the second he stepped into the academy? It was so tiring, being made to feel like a fraud all the time. Maybe in some senses he was a fraud… but he’d never accepted any help. His achievements were his own and he wasn’t about to let anyone take them from him.
Prompt: #4
For: Jongkeywedding on aff
Pairing: JongKey
Author: Anonymous
Word count: 33,600
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Blood, violence, homophobia... army life.
Summary: Jonghyun enlists for his compulsory military service and finds that the army is all too like the music industry that thought he'd left behind him, where sucking up to the right people is more important than anything else. Luckily he quickly finds new friends to help him along and a new authority figure to drive up the wall. Alternatively: A story in which Jonghyun and Kibum pretend to be egoistic assholes, but don't manage to fool anyone except themselves and each other.
>><<
AN: Regiments in the Korean Army usually have nicknames, so for this story I decided to pick a fictional one, ‘Haetae’ (which is a mythical fire-breathing dog/unicorn/mountain guardian thing… they’re cute) instead of one of a real one, like ‘Angry Wave’, ‘The Key’ or ‘Tumbler’.
Chapter 1
Jonghyun sighed to himself as he watched the raindrops chase one another down the coach's windows. They were far more interesting to him than the steep, grey mountains and bare trees that had been the only view for the last few hours, and which were now fading away into the deepening twilight.
He'd left his training camp behind him at dawn, along with all his ill feelings for the place, and since then he'd spent the entire day exactly where he was now, sitting dejectedly in a hard and worryingly itchy bus seat, which was adorned with some weird, beige, fringy-crochet bullshit, which dust, or maybe ash, was still being shook out of after 8 hours of driving. The wretched vehicle had already weaved its way around what felt like half the country - picking up soldiers and dropping them off again at different bases in South Korea's sprawling military network - and Jjong was almost driven to praying to God, who he didn't even believe in for fuck’s sake, that his stop would come next so that he could just. be. still. for one second.
Yet, once the bus did finally let him go Jonghyun would be stuck spending the next two years of his life there… wherever ‘there’ was exactly. No one had seen fit to tell him anything about his deployment, he had little to no information on what was actually waiting for him at his destination and had been assigned no specialty during training. And he couldn't help but feel a little bitter (ok really bitter) like he'd been handed a prison sentence for doing nothing at all.
Of course rationally he knew, and had always known, that military service was what was expected of him. But it wasn't as if he had ever followed expectations before. In truth, he was far more comfortable defying them... and at the training camp it’d been made very clear that this tendency was not going to help him. It had in fact crossed his mind that his remote, northern posting might be a reflection on the apparent “lack of discipline, aptitude and plain common sense" he'd shown over the last 5 weeks. Better to keep the embarrassing ones out of harms way... or maybe give them tough conditions to harden them up and make them into 'real men'... Who knew? The army seemed to be pretty weird like that.
Jjong went back to watching the raindrops blankly. Maybe he wasn't really in any hurry to get there after all. But as much as he'd like to put off the inevitable, the increasing number of checkpoints and barbed wire fences that they were passing through told him that it wouldn't be possible for much longer. 'Trapped' was a feeling that he'd just have to get over. True, it was never Jonghyun's original plan to be in the army at this time in his life, but this time was as good (or as bad) as any other.
He was probably a little older than the average enlistee, he thought, but he’d known that would happen when he'd skipped service earlier on in life to pursue a career in music. Jjong had also skipped his last year of school to pursue a career in music... and more recently he'd skipped out on his band to pursue a solo career in music. To many people he probably seemed like a slacker or a disappointment, but he was really just single-minded and unwilling to be anything but himself. His music had come second to everything (except his family) for a long time… Which in hindsight was reckless because now he had no formal education to fall back on. Not that he’d been a good student whilst he was still at school. Besides, Jonghyun didn't even know what he’d want to do if he couldn't be a singer - so he’d decided to go to the army and then... well he had two years to work out the then bit. Honestly he was hoping that after two years his mistakes would have been forgotten by his peers, or forgiven at least, and that he'd have gained some profound and transformative life experiences that would mature and develop him as an artist... haha. Yeah, Jonghyun was just getting his mandatory service out of the way whilst his career was in a ditch. That was pretty much the shape of it.
The coach finally grumbled to a halt, and the twelve or so men seated around him began to stir as a damp looking sergeant stomped aboard.
"ATTENTION MEN! YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR FINAL DESTINATION!” Eugh, “EVERYONE IS TO GATHER ALL OF THEIR BELONGINGS ON THE DOUBLE, EXIT THE COACH IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND MAKE TWO LINES OUTSIDE FACING THE MESS BUILDING. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"
"YES SIR!"
"THEN GET TO IT!" Shouted the sergeant from the front.
"YES SIR!"
Fuck, Jonghyun hated officers and their incessant shouting….
*
Officers and rain. Cold rain was the worst, and this rain was so cold it felt like it'd turn to snow in a couple of days. In fact, now that he thought about it Jjong thought he could make out some ice crystals sticking to the lens of his glasses.
Trying to peer past the offending slush, he could just about make out a platform with three people and a flagpole on it. They looked just as wet as he did, but their body language didn’t betray any feelings about it, maybe they were better at hiding their discomfort. Maybe one got better at hiding it after being forced to spend a couple of months freezing to death on a barren parade ground.
Beyond them there was a small slope with a large, rectangular building at the top, the control center probably. It looked surprisingly hospitable compared to the horror stories he'd heard about these far-flung, mountain bases. (He’d imagined they were made out of corrugated iron and chipboard, with no running water, but this one definitely had at least brick walls and warm electric lights.) Around that there were sundry other buildings, all smaller, but no less substantial looking, probably barrack blocks. Further off he could just about make out a few huge sheds that he guessed housed vehicles or something and a couple of bushy shrubs. This main part of the base seemed to be set in a small valley, or maybe an old quarry, in the dark he really couldn't tell. But it was definitely trees rather than wire that rose up either side of the parade ground and that was welcome.
"PRIVATES!" A sharp voice rang out, and Jjong’s eyes reflexively snapped to the front, "WELCOME TO HAETAE: 5th INFANTRY REGIMENT OF THE 4TH ARMY CORPS, MY NAME IS CAPTAIN KIM KIBUM. IF YOU WERE NOT ALERADY AWARE YOU ARE IN INJE, THE DMZ IS APPROXIMATELY 15KM IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU ARE HERE TO GUARD IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"YES SIR!" The dozen or so men (boys) shouted back. Pretty enthusiastically all things considered, Jonghyun felt a little sick. Still, that answered the question of where exactly he was, it sounded like he'd get posted to some windswept watchtower for months at a time and have to watch North Koreans even more pitiful than himself pick their noses, or whatever it is that people do when they’re guarding a minefield no one wants to cross.
"GOOD. I HOPE THAT YOU WILL WORK HARD AND SERVE HAPPILY." At least the captain managed to sound somewhat sincere, but then again, he probably got an office and someone to shine his boots for him. "LIEUTANANT SOOWOOK WILL TAKE YOUR NAMES AND DIRECT YOU TO YOUR NEW BILLETS. I SUGGEST THAT YOU MAKE YOUR WAY THERE AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN." Maybe that meant they were allowed to run there to get out of the pelting rain.
"YES SIR!"
"HAETAE!"
"HAETAE!" Well that ridiculous salute was going to get old quickly. Pity, as he’d always thought haetaes were quite cute.
Lieutenant Soowook turned out to be a slow worker, and Jjong had to suppress the urge to hop from foot to foot in impatience, (he'd learnt the wrong way that that was a disciplinable offence.)
“Private Kim Jonghyun?”
“Yes Sir!”
“You are assigned to Squadron 525, wait here a second, whilst I find the other who will go with you, it is quite a long walk. - Private Lee Taemin?”
“Yes Sir!”
“You are also assigned to Squadron 525, go with Private Kim. To get there follow the path between those two trees,” he motioned vaguely to the right of the control building. “Take the left fork in the path and it is the third block.”
“Yes Sir!” The young, very young Jjong guessed, private stuttered out. He looked completely frozen and Jjong thought that the faster the two of them got inside, the better. He hung back waiting for the teenager to adjust his bags and they set off together towards their new home in silence.
*
The barrack lobby was warm and dazzlingly bright. Jonghyun suddenly felt self conscious of his own bedraggled state when faced with the pristine floor and the equally pristine man opposite him. Registering the green flashes on his shoulders, he saluted.
“PRIVATE KIM JONGHYUN AND PRIVATE LEE TAEMIN REPORTING TO SQAUDRON 525, SIR!” Jjong flinched at the shockingly loud noise that exploded from next to him.
“There’s no need to shout quite so loudly.” Said the sergeant with a smile on his face... His annoyingly charming and high-up face.
“Yes sir.” replied Taemin, much, much more softly. Jjong looked properly at his young companion for the first time. He looked like a skinny, soggy angel, blinking happily up at their new sergeant. He couldn’t really blame him. The sergeant had an undeniably friendly aura about him and Jonghyun got the feeling that they’d been lucky; he’d heard plenty of horror stories about people stuck in the army with not-so-nice commanders.
“Well… Welcome. My name is Sgt. Choi Minho. I’ll be your squadron leader for the foreseeable future. I promise to take good care of you.” Jjong and Taemin nodded blankly. “By the way, which one of you is which?”
“Um… I’m Jonghyun, this is Taemin I suppose” Taemin looked a little betrayed, so he smiled at him encouragingly, which seemed to cheer him up.
“Good” Minho Beamed. “Now we have that sorted-“
The officer then led them off through one of the sets of the fire-doors, chattering happily and pointing out useful rooms as they went.
“Now this is us, 525. Do you remember how you got here?”
“…”
“No of course you don’t.” Minho swung the door open to reveal a long, spartan room, painted a light grey. On either side there were wide, laminate sleeping platforms with shelving hung on the walls above them for equipment. It was completely spotless and without any hint of the personality of its inhabitants. Even the soldiers’ shoes were all arranged in the same order under their sections.
The men themselves were all sprawled across the far end, their eyes glued to a girl group performing on the small television. Jonghyun suddenly felt a little nervous now faced with his new comrades, like it was his first day in a new a school.
“Ahem.” Minho announced their presence, and the men seemed to notice them for the first time. To Jonghyun’s relief they actually looked… keen to meet them.
“This is Kim Jonghyun and Lee Taemin our new squad-mates.” The two newcomers tried to smile and wave, but it inevitably came out a little awkward. Jonghyun had always considered himself to be an extrovert, but strangers, and even worse strange groups, had always made him uncomfortable.
“Jonghyun, Taemin… This is Kim Dongmin, Lee Jiwoo, Lee Jihyung, Kwon Seungdae and Park Yongbin. They’re won’t bite you know, no need to look so worried.”
The tall bastard actually winked. Jonghyun thought he was probably right though, they all looked harmless enough, much like any other bunch of college age guys. Certainly not hardened men of action or ruthless trained killers, or biters. Hopefully none of them snored.
“You can get to know them better later,” Said Minho, tapping his watch. “But right now I suggest that you drop your things and go straight to the showers before lights out.” Jonghyun must have looked bewildered because he got laughed at. “Go on, second door on the left! Don’t worry about your things, it’s your first night, we’ll sort it this time -“ They didn’t really have to be told twice a shower sounded great.
*
Jjong made sure to make the most of his shower. From his experiences at training he knew that it was probably the longest, and the quietest, that he’d get for a long time, and after being outside for half an hour in the freezing rain he really appreciated it. All in all he thought that he could have done a lot worse. He wasn’t quite ready to pronounce his military career to be the highlight of his life just yet. Or even close to it. But by the time he left the shower room he was in a much better mood that when he’d left Seoul that morning. (Not that that was difficult, he’d cried solidly for the first hour after saying goodbye to his mother and sister… and the hour before.)
When he got back to room 525 all of his things had been put neatly away in one of the spare storage units and his bed roll had been laid out for him alongside everyone else’s. The rest of the squadron were all sprawled about the place in an almost comically domestic fashion, at least half of them cooing over poor Taemin who was clearly a much faster washer than he was.
“Ah Jonghyun, you took your time!”
“We thought you had drowned!”
“Look, isn’t Taemin cute, he’s our new maknae. What’s your age?”
“Yah! Don’t call me cute! I thought that age wasn’t supposed to matter in the army!” Taemin protested, even though it was useless, everyone seemed to have already decided for him.
“So cute!” Jonghyun agreed, any one could see that Taemin was weirdly adorable for a man in his 20s (not a teenager as he’d first assumed.) Jjong sensed that his might be an on-going frustration for him.
“Leave him alone guys.” Interrupted the sergeant. “We’re all friends here as you well know… except for me… I’m in charge.” Everyone erupted into laughter. “Hey! Insubordination! I am in charge and lights go out in 30 seconds, so if you don’t all go to bed and shut up I’ll be forced to prove it. So there.”
Jonghyun could almost sense him fighting back the urge to stick his tongue out. Minho seemed like such a kid at heart. He sort of wondered how he’d managed to rise to the highest enlisted rank with such a laid-back attitude… but maybe he was different in front of the career officers. He wondered if it would feel like a betrayal to be made to run laps or scrub floors by him. Maybe it’d be better because he’d know that he hadn’t meant to be mean?
Rank was something that Jjong just couldn’t understand yet, along with the dehumanization involved in being part of the military - that disturbed him no end. The thought that people chose this as a way of life. The thought that he had no choice but to be a part of it. However he put it to one side for the moment. All things considered he was happy with how the day had ended, and although he hadn’t held up much hope of being able to sleep on his first night in the real army, his mind was at peace enough to let his exhaustion claim him quickly for the first time in what could have been months.
Chapter 2
The next day was bright and brilliantly cold. Jonghyun could see his breath crystallising in the air in front of him as he went through the motions of stretching. They’d all been woken up before dawn by the bell and harassed into their sports kit and out of the barracks for a run before breakfast. This was to happen every day for the foreseeable future, but Jjong didn’t exactly mind. Despite his alleged ‘incompetence’ as a recruit he was pretty physically fit, and being forced outside first thing every morning meant that he would never have to make small talk with his squad-mates before he was properly conscious.
This morning however he felt pretty well rested and keen to scope out his new surroundings. As far as he could tell his first impression of his new home had been pretty accurate. The Fifth Infantry was based in a wide mountain valley, almost like a crater, with steep slopes at the edges covered in pine trees. Watchtowers jutted out from the tops of the surrounding ridges and the perimeter fences seemed to either be hidden amongst the foliage, or on the other side of the hills. The camp was somewhat bigger than he had first thought, with more flat space and more buildings than he’d been able to make out in the low light last evening. Including quite a few other barracks, all with groups of men like his own outside them, jogging restively on the spot, impatient to get going and warm up. Their block was right on the edge of the encampment, part way up one of the slopes and it seemed smaller than any of the others that he could see - maybe 150 men including the officers present. He idly wondered if that had any significance.
Looking closer at his company his eyes alighted on a figure he somehow recognised to be the captain that’d greeted them last night. That was surprising, Jonghyun had hardly paid any attention to him yesterday, not having expected to come across him again, or been in the mood to pay attention. He was certainly attractive though when viewed through fresh eyes, so Jonghyun must have checked him out subconsciously. Even in the unforgiving morning light the best word Jjong could come up with to describe him was ‘neat.’ Of course they were all neat; neatly dressed, neatly shaven etc. But standing next to the squat, grizzled, sergeant major, the captain seemed to possess neatness on a transcendent level. He just looked oddly perfect, like a computer simulation of a model officer, refined and polished down to the slightest detail. He probably measured the angle of his beret with a protractor…
The Sergeant major cleared his throat to begin his shouting. “RIGHT YOU PATHETIC BUNCH OF COCKROACHES!” Oh when would NCOs become agreeable people?
“NORMAL ROUTE, SHOW YESTERDAY’S NEW RECRUITS HOW WE DO IT!”
“YES SIR!”
“NEW COCKROACHES!”
“YES SIR!” Jonghyun was about to mumble until he remembered that that only meant him and Taemin. A lucky escape.
“I HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE ROUGH TERRAIN, BECAUSE IF YOU TRIP OVER ANY ROOTS NO ONE’S CARRYING YOU BACK. DON’T FALL BEHIND.”
“YES SIR!”
“WHAT ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR? GET YOUR FLABBY ARSES MOVING! NOW!”
Jonghyun thought that he caught the captain rolling his eyes… although he was probably mistaken. He hadn’t had much to do with the commissioned ranks yet but he knew that a captain as young as this one seemed to be had no place questioning a Sergeant Major. He did look like the type to be stuck up, but definitely not like a rebel. In later times Jonghyun would wonder how he’d ever thought that.
*
Once they got moving he found, despite the SGM’s gruff warnings, that the pace wasn’t challenging at all. 5 weeks of training had him as fit as he’d ever been and he easily caught up to Minho - who didn’t look like he was finding this any more strenuous than a lazy stroll.
“Minho…Sir? I just wanted to say thank you for last night.”
“Oh! No problem! You seem well this morning... Is there anything more we can do for you?”
“You’re being serious aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course I am…” Minho looked honestly confused. “Why?”
“Nothing” Jonghyun chuckled, “I just never expected someone so famous to be so considerate… and I apologise for thinking otherwise.”
Minho laughed, “By your behaviour I couldn’t even tell you thought that! There’s nothing to apologise for -“
“Hold on a second.” They hadn’t noticed Taemin keeping pace nearby. “But I’m a little confused… isn’t Jonghyun hyung the famous one?”
“Eh???”
“Kim Jonghyun, bass player of Blue Night, you were my favourite member but then you left, I have all your albums - and I was really looking forwards to your solo work… but… But this is really embarrassing isn’t it?”
Jonghyun didn’t quite know how to react to Taemin’s little outburst, “Wow, you must really know your music to know who I am!”
“You’re a musician?” Asked Minho.
“Yes, erm, well I was a musician. Not a very successful one though…” Taemin looked horrified at his tone. “Cheer up Minnie, I’m glad that at least one person knows me… what else do you listen to…” Taemin was really too cute, and shaping up to be a great conversation partner if he knew lots about obscure indie bands.
“Oh tons of cool stuff. Don’t call me Minnie though.”
*
“So who is Minho anyway?” Taemin had been badgering Jonghyun about music all morning. It was now about half past nine, and they were having breakfast in the cafeteria.
“You don’t recognise him? at all?
“No.”
“Our illustrious sergeant is a famous actor.” Said Yongbin, the former junior member of the squadron. He seemed very pleased to have Taemin around and had been trying to give him advice whenever he could. Jjong though that it was sweet, but that it probably wouldn’t last. He suspected that Taemin was quite wily in his own way and would be over needing help very quickly.
“Oh…really?”
“Is it really that surprising?” Interrupted the man in question as he took a seat.
“No… hang on… are you trying to imply that you’re handsome Sir?”
“Haha! He has you there Sergeant!” hollered someone from across the table.
Jonghyun for some reason thought that he should step in. “Minho is quite famous, he was in ‘To The Beautiful You’, and ‘Medical Top Team’, and ‘Because It’s The First Time’, and…”
“Wow, you must really know your dramas!” Taemin replied. The cheeky shit.
“Well my mum and my sister watch them… I just have to hear about them a lot ok.”
“You don’t have a girlfriend?”
“No why?”
“No reason.” Taemin hummed innocently. “You just seem like the romantic type… following all of the sergeant’s obviously cheesy dramas...”
“Do you have a girlfriend Minnie? Or just a waifu?”
Taemin just spluttered.
“God you two are going to be fun.”
Jonghyun decided that morning that Minho was entirely too at ease with the prospect of chaos to be a real sergeant.
*
That afternoon Jonghyun learnt that Minho didn’t deal quite so well with chaos when his team was coming in last place.
After chores and lunch the squadron had changed into their combat gear and been led out to the back of the base for training. So far this had involved them, and several other squadrons, racing each other to get as wet, muddy and bruised as possible whilst dragging equipment through an assault course. Much to Jonghyun’s embarrassment he’d twice had to be hauled over walls by his teammates (and it wasn’t that he was too short to get over them by himself - he just wasn’t very springy) and had fallen into 3 muddy puddles (up to his chest). Meanwhile Minho had been loosing his rag a bit because of his newly slowed down team and was valiantly attempting to calm himself down by muttering, ‘This is the object of the exercise, this is the object of the exercise…’ under his breath. Jonghyun pretended not to have noticed, but he felt oddly guilty all the same.
“SERGEANT CHOI MINHO! WHY IS YOUR TEAM FALLING BEHIND?”
In contrast, Captain Kibum, who was leading the drill, seemed to be taking a perverse glee in Minho’s pseudo-breakdown. Jonghyun felt like punching his smug, perfect, face.
“Just teething troubles…Sir. Nothing to worry about.” replied Minho, gritting his teeth.
“Are you sure? Because looser has to bring all of the kit back to base… and clean it.” He added with a tauntingly raised eyebrow.
“YES SIR!”
“Good.” Kibum smirked and slunk off, leaving Minho to shout more orders at them in a doomed attempt at regaining order.
“What a bastard.” Jonghyun observed, but Taemin, his partner for now, seemed to have spaced out. “I SAID WHAT a bas-TAEMIN?” Still no reply. The kid really had gone somewhere else… A mischievous thought crossed Jjong’s mind, and before he knew it he’d hit him square in the chest with a ball of mud.
“Yah!” Taemin came back to the land of the living “- what the hell was that for?”
“CHOI MINHO! KEEP YOUR PATHETIC TEAM IN ORDER!” Jonghyun had never cringed so hard in his life. Caught red handed, and on his first full day…
“PRIVATE KIM, JUST WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?”
“SIR! SORRY! SIR!” The captain had gotten right up in his face, Jjong could feel the calm rage radiating off him and he was forced to look up a couple of centimetres at him in humiliation.
“DO YOU NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?”
Jonghyun had to think hard about the double negative in that question “SIR! NO! SIR!”
“THIS IS NOT A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION. DROP AND IVE ME 50.”
It was unpleasant doing press ups with mud squelching between his fingers, but it could have been worse. His pride felt more damaged than anything else.
“SERGEANT-”
“YES SIR!” Minho replied. Jonghyun could hear the wince in his voice.
“Don’t let that happen again.”
“Whatever Sir...”
Wait, what?
He couldn’t see what was happening from his position on the ground but there was no angry reply from the captain. Nothing at all to be heard except the vibrations of his steps moving off. Minho didn’t say anything either. Jonghyun felt like checking that he hadn’t slipped into a parallel universe - not that he knew how he’d check - maybe that’s where Taemin had been visiting a second ago.
“You’ve done more than 50 of those you know.”
“Oh?” Jonghyun replied blankly and got back to his feet, wiping his hands clean against his trousers. “Thank you Sir.”
Once Minho’s back was turned Jonghyun decided to question one of his teammates, “You don’t think that was a bit odd?”
“What? Captain Kibum trying to rip you a new one? Definitely not.” Said Jihyung. He thought it was Jihyung.
“No… that I anticipated… I meant the way he was with the sergeant…”
“Nah, no big deal. The captain’s just a fan of Minho’s dramas” Jihyung winked.
He felt like he was missing something.
*
By dinnertime Jonghyun was exhausted. The canteen was full of the clatter and chatter of hungry men as everyone wolfed down their food.
They’d somehow managed not to lose the challenge earlier, but they’d still been roped into helping clear up. Minho had insisted it was a matter of loyalty and comradeship - Dongmin had told Jjong it was because the losing team were on canteen duty that week and that Minho having two deserts on his tray was not a coincidence. Jjong actually believed both explanations to a degree.
“So, Jonghyun, almost 24 hours, you still ok?” Asked Minho.
“Yes, I haven’t even cried yet.”
“Is that surprising?”
“Yes, very.” Jjong replied whilst shovelling food into his mouth. He was actually pretty pleased with himself, 24 hours was amazing under the circumstances, but then again, the 12 hours previous to that had been a wash out so…
“How long before you dissolve into a blubbering wreck then?”
“Oh, first time I call home for sure... I’ll probably drown”
“I’ll watch out for it.” Minho offered companionably. “What are your family like?”
“I have a mother, and an older sister. We’re very close; I still live…d with them. That’s about it really.” He waited for the inevitable question about his father, but thankfully it never came and they reverted to a comfortable silence.
“Hey Minho…”
“Yep.”
“The captain?”
“Kibum? What about him? Are you worried about him shouting at you?”
“No, I’m used to it… He didn’t really shout at you though~” Jjong added tentatively, but something in his tone must still have got Minho’s back up because the sergeant’s whole demeanour suddenly changed.
“What are you trying to say?” It was the first time he’d sounded even remotely hostile.
“Christ nothing. What did you think I was trying to say?”
“Nothing.”
“Then what’s-“
“Nothing.” Minho cut him off. “It’s just that Kibum and I know each other… It’s not really something that it’s appropriate to discuss.”
“Okay.” Said Jjong simply, and left it there. He still wanted to know what Minho was hiding, but he could tell that pushing the issue now wouldn’t be a good idea. Maybe he’d find out later-
“Hey! Check out Taebaby!” Came a cry from down the other end of the table. Minho and Jonghyun glanced around to see what was going on and both instantly cracked up, the earlier atmosphere instantly forgotten. The boy leaning against one of the vending machines, trying desperately to look cool and mysterious whilst drinking flavoured milk through a straw. Needless to say it wasn’t totally working out for him.
Jonghyun decided to use the distraction to change the subject. “Jeez, he seems so young for his age.”
Taemin noticed them laughing at him and glared back, it wasn’t intimidating.
“Haha! I know! Or we’re old.”
“You play high school kids though!?” Jonghyun said, trying to be playful.
“Not any more I don’t.”
“Huh? Spill.”
“Well” said Minho, aping his fingers on the table as he thought. “I think the main reason why I joined up now,, rather than later, was because I kept only being offered school age roles. I thought that if I went away for a bit, did my service, that when I came back people would finally want to cast me as an adult.”
“Ohhh, that makes sense I guess... Not scared that people will forget you I see?”
“Hey! I’ve been here for almost a year and a half and you still know who I am!”
“-Barely!” called a voice from elsewhere.
“Shut up Seungdae!”
“Really that long?” Jonghyun continued, ignoring the other rowdy soldiers. “It seems like only yesterday my sister was crying over the morning news.”
“Ok, I may have a bit of an ego, but I know that that must be a lie.”
“But how would you know? She could be a demented saesang who got me assigned here and is blackmailing me into sending her your old socks or something!”
“Oh haha. And maybe Taeminnie is your crazed super-fan and we’ll catch him sniffing your pillow.”
“Nice try, but if I had super-fans then I wouldn’t be here, it’s not like I’m an idol.”
“Would you want to be?” Minho asked.
“Nooo, that’d be like being in a cross between my old band and being here. No creative freedom, and no physical freedom. I just want to write my own songs and be able to make a living from it.” Minho just nodded understandingly and smiled at him, their previous awkwardness forgotten already.
Some days later Minho and Onew were hanging out in Kibum’s room, as was their habit. The captain’s quarters were pretty sparse, but far, far more luxurious than the dormitories of the regular soldiers. There was a single bed, desk, chair, a cupboard and a sink. And if Kibum had had anyone inspecting it, it would have been perfectly neat and clean, however he didn’t and there was a variety of personal debris littered over every surface. Needless to say it was more than a little cramped for the three of them, but nobody minded because it was private and Kibum somehow managed to keep it smelling nice. He was very proud of that.
He’d been sneaking Minho into his quarters since he’d arrived on base as a private a year and a half ago. It wasn’t very difficult, his room was on the ground floor and Minho had long enough legs to climb in through the window. He couldn’t exactly remember why or when they’d started inviting Dr Jinki, but it seemed natural to have him there as well and he was nice company.
Kibum took a sip of his grape juice and screwed up his face at the taste. “I know this looks like wine, but it’s really not the same.” He moaned.
“If you wanted to become a full time alcoholic you shouldn’t have joined the Army. I think I told you that at the time.” Replied Minho.
“I didn’t know how important it’d be to me back then”
Minho stuck his tongue out at him. “Well it’s bad for you anyway.”
“Actually European studies have found that a small glass of red wine a day is actually beneficial to health.”
“…See! Even Jinki agrees with me.”
Minho had to be a bastard and state the inconvenient truth, “doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have any.”
“Huh, I guess so.” Agreed the captain, settling into a sullen silence.
Onew seemed to decide that it’d be a good time to change the subject. “How are your new private’s settling in Minho? You seem to like them.”
“I do… They’ll be fine.” Replied the sergeant with a proud smile.
“We’re supposed to be getting a lot more soon” Said Kibum, still feeling sullen. He didn’t want to talk about Minho’s new recruits. One of them was far too annoying [-ly attractive]
“Hmm?”
“There’s talk amongst the top-brass of expanding operations along the DMZ. The 6th battalion has already been given 100 more men.”
“How strange… What’s that all about? Where are we going to keep them all?” Asked the doctor.
“Not sure yet. They’re not telling me anything. There’s probably some intel somewhere about defections increasing or something. I don’t know what else they’d need men on the ground for.”
“How funny-“
There was a sharp knock at the door, surprising the room’s occupants. Minho got up silently and squeezed himself quickly into the corner behind the doorframe.
“Captain Kim Sir?” Came the voice of a sergeant from outside.
Kibum checked that Minho was hidden, and Onew tried to act natural. “Enter.”
“Sir!” Saluted a self-satisfied looking little sergeant. “There’s a problem in the Kitchen sir! - The two new recruits in Sgt Choi’s squadron have been caught stealing.”
“So?” Replied Kibum, somewhat unprofessionally, not that this sergeant would dare pull him up on it. He was far too eager for his approval. Kibum couldn’t bear him. “Go find Choi, he can deal with it.”
“Sorry sir! He’s nowhere to be found sir!”
He could feel Onew vibrating beside him, trying to contain a fit of the giggles; he needed to get the sergeant out of there. “Fine.” He rolled his eyes, “I’ll be along in a minute.”
“Sir! Yes Sir!” Saluted the sergeant as he scurried off back to where he’d come from.
“I knew they were trouble.” Stated the Captain as he got up and dusted himself off, leaving Onew to collapse as he straightened out the creases in his trousers and reaching for his beret…
“-Actually I doubt this was their idea.” Said Minho conversationally as they walked over to the kitchens. They’d left Onew where he was to finish off the not-wine.
“Explain.”
“It’s an initiation thing…. to sneak into the kitchens and steal a carrot… all the enlistees do it… I did it too… we make the carrots into mascot”
Kibum looked unimpressed. “Eugh, conscripts. They could at last avoid getting caught-“ That way he wouldn’t have to spend time thinking about how to discipline them, that was very distracting business. He swung open the Kitchen door and marched in, Minho following two steps behind him just as he should.
“So… What do we have here then?”
“Sir! These men were caught stealing sir!” Said the smug sergeant from earlier. Not daring to ask where he’d conjured Minho from, poor guy probably thought that Kibum had magical summoning skills. Good.
“Is this true?” The captain questioned the sorry looking privates.
The new recruits, Jonghyun and Taemin, had for some reason been cuffed to one of the chairs and were looking half terrified, half just irritated. Doubtlessly the sergeant hadn’t held back when impressing upon them the seriousness of their crimes. The handcuffs were totally over the top. Little people did love their power trips.
“Yes sir.” They replied.
“Why were you stealing?”
“We wanted a carrot sir. We’re very fond of them.” Said Jonghyun. Obviously Kibum was not convinced, Jonghyun did not put any effort into that excuse at all and it didn’t help that the other had made a face of disgust. Still… he wanted to see if they’d protect their team.
“I don’t believe you. Did your squadron put you up to this?”
“No sir.”
“Fine….” Kibum looked sideways at their sergeant. So they were lying, that didn’t matter this time, it was just a carrot for fuck’s sake. Team unity was more important anyway… “ Minho.”
“Yes sir?” He looked wary, also good.
“Your men need more training! They’re not nearly stealthy enough! You and your squadron are to spend all next Sunday doing extra practice!” Haha, poor, sweet Minho looked stricken. But ultimately this was his fault, so he could hardly complain.
Chapter 3
After a couple weeks Jonghyun had thoroughly settled into the routine of camp life. He now knew which the dodgy showers were, where to find a free dryer at any time and which duty officers to avoid at all costs. On the first day, before breakfast, he and Taemin had been called into the Major’s office to be formally welcomed and told that they were part of the regiment’s reconnaissance section. That suited Jjong fine, he’d never fancied driving a tank anyway (lies).
He had phoned home three times so far. Minho did watch out for him the first time, and gotten wept all over for his troubles. He took it well. His team had grown on him too (even if he found himself wishing that they’d shut up several times a day) and he wasn’t looking forwards to the time when they’d all finish their service and just he and Taemin would be left behind in charge of the new enlistees.
Overall he had imagined that he would feel lonelier than he did. A couple of days ago he’d watched the first snow fall with a group of men that he barely knew - but listening to them all talk about where they’d rather be, and who they’d rather be with, had made him realise that he was experiencing something that every other man in Korea would… and Jjong always felt better about things once he’d found a semi-profound angle to look at them from. He hadn’t shared that side of himself with his team yet though… he’d be willing to bet that they’d poke fun at him for being pretentious. Even if they didn’t mean any harm by it Jjong didn’t fancy either his ‘poetic soul’ (his sister’s words) or his coping mechanisms being made fun of, not just yet.
‘Snow’ and ‘coping’ however, were not two concepts that went together for him in this situation though. In fact ‘snow’ was currently aligned with the concept ‘horrible’ and ‘coping’ firmly prefixed with ‘not’. The first snow of the year is much less romantic when you happen to be lying in it.
Squadrons 520-529 were doing combat training today. They’d been split into two teams, one defending one of the base’s watchtowers, and another attacking. 525 were on the attacking side… and Jonghyun was trying to take their lack of success as evidence that South Korea was well prepared for defence. The defending team clearly had the easier job anyway, because who on earth thought that climbing an icy, 40º slope under gunfire (blanks of course) in the snow, was easier than sitting at the top of an icy 40º slope and firing at people trying not to slide down it. That was obviously unfair… He also suspected that the supervising officer was biased.
“PRIVATE JONGHYUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Oh great, just what he needed right now. Captain fussy.
Captain Kibum had been on his back all exercise with his, ‘Get down!’, ‘What the hell are you doing!?’, ‘If this was a real combat situation you’d be dead.’ bullshit. How would he know that Jonghyun would be dead anyway? it wasn’t as if he’d ever been in a ‘real combat situation’ either… and besides, the captain made him flustered sometimes.
“Why aren’t you hiding behind the right side of the tree?”
Well that made no sense. “I thought I was on the right side?” Jjong replied, far too informally.
“You’re on the left.” Jjong could hear the disdain.
“… Trees don’t have a right and a left. They’re round.” He also should have known when to quit, but he could never resist trying to provoke the captain into letting his composure slip, even if just for a second.
“Oh for fuck’s sake…. Are you left or right handed?” Said Kibum, motioning with his hands. He obviously thought that Jonghyun was so simple that he needed to resort to sign language.
“I’m both.”
“Ugh, of course you would be - what hand are you holding your weapon in?”
Jonghyun could maybe see how he was annoying.
“My left.”
“Right… So you need to be looking out from the right side of the tree, because if you look from the left the tree is in the way of your gun. Understand?”
“I think so sir, but I’m just a bit disorientated by the noise of the guns, I think it’s because I have sensi- I mean YES SIR!”
“Good, get on with it then. Your have about 2 minutes left to reach your objective.”
Jonghyun dashed out from behind the tree and skittered sideways along the hillside, trying to keep as low as possible because he knew Kibum would be watching for anything to pick on later. His task was to relay messages back and forth amongst the platoon because they were in simulated radio silence. The reasoning behind him having this job was apparently that he was ‘a crap shot’ but, ‘a small target’. He didn’t really appreciate it. Not just because of the implied insult, but because the noise of gunfire coming at him from all angles made him really dizzy. Not ideal when you’re trying to find people… camouflaged people... who are hiding. Luckily he had a clear line of sight to where he needed to be.
He dove headfirst into the shell scoop where he found Minho and one of the company medics, known to everyone as Onew for some reason, playing a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors and not really paying attention to anything at all.
“PRIVATE KIM JONGHYUN REPORTING. SIRS!”
“Hey there. how’s it going?” Onew was even more easygoing than Minho, it probably had something to do with him ranking as Captain, equal to Kibum, or being a doctor… or just him being himself.
“Awful thanks, but Captain’s probably on his way, so maybe stop that.”
“Ah, thanks.”
“What’s the message Jjong?” Asked Minho.
“Right… umm the enemy are setting off a gas canister sometime in the next 5 minutes, you need to be ready to respond.”
“Fuck, I hate that one. You haven’t heard if they’re doing it properly or not are you? Or if it’ll just be smoke?” Minho giggled at hearing Jinki swear.
“I may or may not have heard that they’ve mixed in a little CS.” Kibum dropped into the hide.
“I wish they wouldn’t.” The doctor grumbled. “We don’t know if anyone’s allergic yet.” Kibum just shrugged.
Jonghyun observed that the three of them seemed strangely at ease with one another for people with such different personalities… but then again Jinki and Kibum probably saw each other a lot in the Officer’s Mess after duty… and Minho and Jinki, to be fair, were too nice not to get along… and from bits and pieces that the sergeant had let slip he’d gathered that he and Kibum knew each other as children.
“Maybe that’s the point-“ replied Minho grimly. “Oh! And there it is-“
There was a hissing from above, and a lot of sudden cursing. Jinki and Minho snapped on their gasmasks and jumped out to deal with it, leaving Jonghyun alone with the captain. It was awkward. Jjong didn’t know what he was supposed to be doing now, and Kibum seemed too distracted to tell him. For some reason he felt like he ought to say something…
“So, Captain, do you like hanging out with me, or do I just need extra supervision?” Probably not that though. Why was it that sometimes he just lost control over his mouth?
Kibum looked ready to kill him, but for some reason he turned away to concentrate on something that was happening outside and said nothing.
“Captain?” Jjong prompted. “Shouldn’t you be shouting at me right now? Telling me I have to scrub all of the mould off the showers when we get back? Something?...”
Kibum still wasn’t really listening. Jjong noticed that his attention was focused on the gas cloud up the hill and he was shaking a little.
“I don’t like the idea of gas either you know. It’s scary. And if it’s real then we wouldn’t know it was coming would we…” The captain tensed so Jjong knew he’d guessed right. “But then I thought about it, and I thought that gas is no more lethal than any of the other things that people use to kill. If you’re hit then you’re hit, and that’s it. You die either way. But I’ve never seen you flinch from a gunshot like I do… and that smoke is no more real than a blank in a gun.”
“You’re right Private…” Jonghyun had never heard the captain speak so softly before, his voice was deeper than he’d realised, more pleasant. “But I wasn’t thinking about us… I was thinking about what was stopping anyone from dropping gas on a city. We’re guarding the mountains up here, which needs to be done, but we can’t actually guard any people. I find that troubling”
“Oh.” That was heavier than he’d expected.
“No point dwelling on it though.” Kibum straightened up and was suddenly back to his usual self. “Good work for attempting to raise moral - But over-familiarity with senior officers is never appropriate. Speak informally to me again and I will make you scrub all the mould from the showers. With your own toothbrush.”
Jonghyun didn’t know what it said about him that he found that sort of hot.
*
Jonghyun’s barracks housed the regiment’s entire reconnaissance section. Around 160 men, in 20 squadrons, dedicated to the important task of looking at things (or ‘checking things out’ at the men liked to put it). He hadn’t met everyone yet, 3 squads had been out on manoeuvres along with some of the officers since he’d arrived… and some people were just unfriendly he guessed.
The squadrons were grouped into platoons of 5, each of which shared one of the barrack’s corridors and a bathroom. 525 sharing with 526-529. The whole section had a communal rec room, and the building housed a canteen that also served a smaller barrack next door. It was old, the fittings were outdated and it was pretty drafty in spots, but thanks to military discipline it was spotlessly clean.
The company itself was led by Major Kwon, who was rarely seen and usually to be found in the command centre building above the parade ground. He delegated most of the day to day running of things to Captain Kibum, who in turn delegated to his lackey Lt. Soowook, the other Lieutenant Jjong didn’t know and the Sergeant Major. There were also a couple more senior sergeants around who ordered people about as needed - they seemed to be the ones who actually knew what was going on - but they normally didn’t seem to interfere much in Minho’s squadron.
The bathroom that 525 shared with the rest of their platoon was currently abuzz with happy chatter instead of its normal, post-exercise gloom. Jonghyun felt calmed by the easy atmosphere rather than irritated as he might have been on another day, enjoying listening to their silly banter.
After they’d been thoroughly defeated earlier Kibum had announced out of the blue that they were celebrating with a party. His reasoning being that they weren’t expected to win in the first place, but that everyone had still tried their best. Jonghyun thought that this was a little out of character, he’d expected the captain to let them moulder in their existential gloom to teach them a lesson about the seriousness of war (or maybe it was only him who found fake-dying to be such a profoundly depressing experience anyway - he’d been blown up by a fake grenade, didn’t even see it coming.)
“Guys?” He called out above the noise of the showerheads. “Is this a regular thing?”
“What showering?” Came the sarcastic reply, followed by loud laughter.
“No idiot. Being treated by the captain.”
“Errm, semi-regular?.. He doesn’t seem to believe in incentives like the other officers.” Chimed in another voice.
“Yeah that’s true. Kinda sucks really-” Replied the first.
“But every now and again he comes over all soft on us an gives us a random reward-”
“We think it’s part of a much darker and more evil conspiracy-”
“You moron it’s from The Art of War, Chapter 9. He was probably made to read it as a child.”
“Quiet, nerd.”
“I’m just saying~”
“As a child? Who makes children read Sun Tzu?” Jonghyun wondered when he’d stop feeling out of the loop.
“His grandfather is General Kim Kisun, didn’t you know that?” Answered Seungdae from the cubicle next door.
“Well no one told me? Explains a lot though I guess.”
“Eh? You saying that the stick up his ass is genetic? Hahaha!”
That wasn’t exactly what Jonghyun had meant, but he decided to let it lay. So the captain’s grandfather was a national hero, that was interesting. He probably felt a lot of pressure… He probably got a leg up in his career too, how stereotypical.
*
The camp was completely silent at night. Jonghyun was finding it quite eerie. Insomnia was nothing new to him but this was the first time that he’d been affected since arriving. Usually he lay awake listening to the sounds of the city, but the barrack was so far from the front gate that the only noises he could hear were the rustle of the wind in the trees and the faint breathing of his roommates. He ought to have been too exhausted for this, he was exhausted. They’d woken up at 5.30, roll-call, done the morning run, the morning chores, breakfast, parade, lunch, the exercise on the hill, showered, had dinner, had a party even. Still, he was awake now and his thoughts wouldn’t let him sleep. He was probably just overtired.
His mind wandered back to the party earlier. It had been really nice. Onew and the Captain had bought them a ton of snacks from the PX, they’d got the norebang machine out, they’d had a ping-pong tournament. Everyone was happy. But Jjong had spent the evening feeling strangely restless, as if he had somewhere else to be, or as if he didn’t belong as part of the scene playing out in front of him. He did belong of course, he belonged there as much as any of the others did and it wasn’t as if he weren’t welcome or hadn’t made friends yet. Still, instead of being his normal, lively self, he’d chosen to sit alone feeling resentful of the others and their comradeship, jealous of the officers and their friendship. On the other side of the room Minho started to snore lightly, as if to remind Jjong that he was still there… and still annoying.
Ah... Yes, the officers. He could see clearly now that Minho, Onew and Kibum were a team. He couldn’t really have a problem with it. It just bothered him for some reason. If it were only Onew and Minho together then he’d have dismissed it as, ‘those two nice guys who’ve been here a while together and clearly get along.’ But the captain, with his stupid face and his stupid rules threw the whole picture off. Probably, he’d already reasoned, the captain was a completely different person in private. He’d seen glimpses of it already, but he’d have pushed it to the back of his mind and got on with life were it not for Minho’s existence. Stupid Minho didn’t seem to see ‘Captain Kibum’ at all, only his old friend playing dress-up. Maybe it was an actors’ mentality at work.
What particularly troubled Jonghyun was that his curiosity about the true nature of Kibum in no way helped him suppress his attraction towards him. He groaned and rolled over in his sleeping bag. That was another problem. It just wasn’t good to fancy your captain, it made life very hard.
Jonghyun had been doing a great job so far of not being attracted to all sorts of people he otherwise would’ve been. Like… Minho was attractive enough and Jjong wasn’t attracted to him, so was Taemin, so were hundreds of other men in the camp. Kibum was for some reason different though. He’d tried to dehumanise him, think of him only as a rank, which obviously wasn’t going to work because of bloody Minho. So he tried thinking about all of the bad things that could happen if he slipped up and the captain caught onto his crush. Yes it was a crush. The problem was that that led to him thinking of all of the good things that could maybe happen if- Eugh. He really hated himself sometimes. This wasn’t helping him get to sleep at all. He shouldn’t have to suffer at night because of the captain as well as during the day. He shouldn’t have to suffer because of Kibum at all.
This was silly. His fixation on the captain was dangerous. Jonghyun was just looking for something to distract him from the reality of being in the army and he’d seen how Minho did it and he’d wanted to follow. Kibum would never let him in. They were destined to forever remain captain and private to one another. Minho had once explained that Kibum was the type to commit to his task 100%, and aside for his dealings with Minho, he had never, to Jjong’s knowledge, deviated even a single degree from being the perfect officer. He treated him like he treated any other useless conscript. And yes, sometimes he gave a warning instead of a punishment - But more often than not he was ruthlessly strict.
Like last week, they’d been doing target practice on the range and Jjong had been struggling with his glasses. They’d kept sliding down his nose or distorting his vision. But Kibum had still kept him back until he had hit the target 5 times in a row. When Jonghyun had been cheeky he had still made him run laps for twenty minutes, and when Jjong made excuses he had still pointed out that his difficulties were his own fault for not preparing properly. As much as Jonghyun wanted to be special he wasn’t, not here, not to anyone. He was replicable, transient, just a body to fill a uniform… And there was no way that the captain would be interested in seeing him out of it.
Kibum screwed up his eyes and yawned. The lamp in his office was far to dim to read all night by, but this had to be done, the General had asked for it to be done personally. Kibum wasn’t about to be caught doing a half-assed job of it either, even if it did mean staying up until past midnight sorting through old reports. It was so boring though and the results of his work were not to his liking.
It had started when the general had noticed that the division’s evaluation reports weren’t as good as they used to be. Kibum had known that, he’d written them after all. But the general had flown off the handle about ‘standards’ and demanded that someone got demoted. Major Kwon, more afraid for his own skin than anything else, had argued that the standards hadn’t actually fallen, but that Captain Kibum was just a harsh marker who believed in higher standards than the last captain. That was true... the last captain was a soft touch… and easily distracted.
Still… the general had demanded proof that the men were being properly trained, and because this whole mess was Kibum’s fault he’d been the one designated the task of finding it. The problem was that finding said proof meant cross-referencing reports made under the old system with ones made under Kibum’s new one… and the whole point of Kibum’s new system was that the old one was very hard to sort through.
In short - he’d made this mess himself… and bureaucracy was stupid and it hurt his eyes.
What added insult to injury was that the current troops were not necessarily any better trained than the old ones. Some of them had appalling records. Take for example, Private Kim Jonghyun. He’d only been there a couple of weeks and he was already pulling down averages. There was time to turn him around sure, but the captain saw no reason to hold out any hope, the man obviously just wasn’t suited to military life... No particular skills… poor performance at boot camp… discipline issues…well obviously… typical that he should be dumped in Kibum’s section… hmm a ‘freelance musician’, that figured. He was kind of pretty though, bit short, that was cute really, and Minho liked him so he was probably not completely un-ok. Probably not quite the disrespectful, cocky bastard he could come off as- Eugh. It was too late, He needed some rest. He didn’t need to be thinking about this now. Be gone demons.
He picked at his ugly khaki uniform and felt, not for the first time, that it was a burden. Self control. It wasn’t that hard. He was a master of it. Never slip, never falter, do your job then, and only then, have your fun. It was what he’d been doing for years. He couldn’t afford to be lax, there were too many people waiting to tear him down, waiting to claim he’d risen so fast up the ranks via nepotism. He hadn’t, how could he have, when everyone was already watching him from the second he stepped into the academy? It was so tiring, being made to feel like a fraud all the time. Maybe in some senses he was a fraud… but he’d never accepted any help. His achievements were his own and he wasn’t about to let anyone take them from him.