you just be you, i'll be me okay?
So we restore harmony
Smooth the lines on the face of an old enemy
But there's no wood on the fire again
well tonight was fine, work then babysat michael and mike got to stop by then i went to jasmines where there were little girls crying and crusty feet lol. but it was funny. i'm used to this depressing state i've been in and idk i just accept crying a lot by myself and try to make the best of it everywhere i go. i'm trying to laugh and smile more often now because i realize that those things make you happy, and they really do. i'm used to not having good conversations anymore and not knowing everything about eachother, not knowing when one is depressed or the other is having a problem that they can't be helped with anymore. i don't care...about anything except for smiling and laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. that's what matters. when i start to cry over nothing i just do it, so what, and then i'm done and i can go get on with my life and have fun. if ya can't beat 'em join 'em...hah. so the feeling of apathy that's been surrounding me has now engrossed me into the same feeling. and yet it's not apathy so much if i still feel everything. but to shrug it off and say fuck it until i start crying is my form of apathy and it's working and i'm settling. i'm settling because i don't feel i have options anymore and if i do...i don't care, whatever. i just want to talk to friends and listen to music and lay on my bed with my legs in the air like i always did when i was little, just have a good time. and i can do that alone or with people, and i sureeee appreciate my people a lot <3 lol. the ones who do know the state i've been in and the ones i've been able to open up to, my decision entirely, and i appreciate them for listening. i'm trying to practice being apathetic without anything to cause me to become that way. i actually am starting to think i could do better, or that i deserve better :-P. goosebumps suck and i constantly have them. i'm smiling right now :-)for once i just don't care what is real and what is not. god these allergies are real hah, i had to touch jasmines birds, they were looking so cute and all but hmm i'm regretting that decision right now lol.
Smooth the lines on the face of an old enemy
But there's no wood on the fire again
well tonight was fine, work then babysat michael and mike got to stop by then i went to jasmines where there were little girls crying and crusty feet lol. but it was funny. i'm used to this depressing state i've been in and idk i just accept crying a lot by myself and try to make the best of it everywhere i go. i'm trying to laugh and smile more often now because i realize that those things make you happy, and they really do. i'm used to not having good conversations anymore and not knowing everything about eachother, not knowing when one is depressed or the other is having a problem that they can't be helped with anymore. i don't care...about anything except for smiling and laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. that's what matters. when i start to cry over nothing i just do it, so what, and then i'm done and i can go get on with my life and have fun. if ya can't beat 'em join 'em...hah. so the feeling of apathy that's been surrounding me has now engrossed me into the same feeling. and yet it's not apathy so much if i still feel everything. but to shrug it off and say fuck it until i start crying is my form of apathy and it's working and i'm settling. i'm settling because i don't feel i have options anymore and if i do...i don't care, whatever. i just want to talk to friends and listen to music and lay on my bed with my legs in the air like i always did when i was little, just have a good time. and i can do that alone or with people, and i sureeee appreciate my people a lot <3 lol. the ones who do know the state i've been in and the ones i've been able to open up to, my decision entirely, and i appreciate them for listening. i'm trying to practice being apathetic without anything to cause me to become that way. i actually am starting to think i could do better, or that i deserve better :-P. goosebumps suck and i constantly have them. i'm smiling right now :-)for once i just don't care what is real and what is not. god these allergies are real hah, i had to touch jasmines birds, they were looking so cute and all but hmm i'm regretting that decision right now lol.