i am covered in skin, no one gets to come in.
Yesterday was pretty good i went to emmas then came home
and dan came over. i'm happy for him he finally got his liscense lol.
today was alright too i went to sejals for a while then to the gym and
now i'm here :-). it was also 10 months for dan and me so um that part
was fine lol. ofcourse...as usual...i am worried things are gonna start
slipping back to how they were. nothing can be good for too long and
especially when there is lack of willpower, things never pull through.
already i can see them slipping cause this is how i remember it
starting the last time. hopefully it's just a few slip ups or moments
of weakness or whatnot...idk how this stuff works but i do think it
sucks. makes people lose the respect of people that care about
them...makes people lose the people who care about them altogether
eventually. i would just feel guilty so i think i have some trouble
with that hah. idk when stupid things take precedence over things that
i would hope would be more
important...it makes me wonder why i bother, what is so important to me
that doesn't seem to be mutual. it hurts my feelings i think more than
i can express but i'm so tired of arguing i am giving up. i just want
to feel like i'm of some importance...something i felt a long time ago
but has been becoming less and less apperant. sooo anyways depressingg
yessss, can i do something about it yessss, will i? most likely
not...what i do gets me nowhere lol. but i do love my friends old and
new, no matter how bitchy i seem...which hopefully i don't and i'm
sorry to alicia for becoming easily frustrated with her. anyways it
felt good finally going to the gym, i've really been out of shape and
i'm really insecure about my stomach right now i feel like i've gained
weight so hopefully i can keep getting to the gym. i'm not happy that i
hardly ever everrrr go tanning...but the few times i have resulted in a
white spot on my butt...and spot that just decided not to tan and it
looks ridiculous. so nakedness is prefered in the dark most definitely
lol. byeee