(no subject)
A little update-a-roo:
Sittin' at Dad's, drinking a beer (what else is new), and missing my Sacramento and Greensboro friends.
And yes, folks, love IS in the air. Shane and I are sickening. And because of this whole mess I'm in, I've made a realization:
I don't want to go to Chicago yet. No, not BECAUSE of Shane. But I realized that I'm way too scared to go yet. Had I not come back to Shelby, I probably would already be in Chicago. But I DID come back. And I got comfortable. And I forgot how to live on my own. So, to summarize, I'm too freaked out to make such a huge move to someplace I haven't REALLY been, and without a car no less. ('Cause I would sell it before I moved there.) So, I've decided that I need to move to a place that's closer to home, where I do sort of know the area, and where I can have a car. So, Shane has nothing to do with that realization, but he does have a lot to do with WHERE I move.
I'm thinking Columbia, SC. There is a little bit of theatre there (nothing big, and nothing Equity, but I'm not worried about that), and I know the area, and it's 45 minutes away from Shane. Now I know what you're all thinking..."I can't believe she's giving it all up for a GUY!!! She's always been so independent!" Well, surprise, folks. I'm not as independent as I come off. And I also have recently admitted to myself that the one thing I want even before a career in theatre is to have a family. Yeah, sounds nothing like me, does it? Well, ya didn't know me. And apparently I didn't know myself either.
I'm just terrified of moving to Chicago (or wherever else) and not being prepared and ending up stranded and possibly giving up the one person that could have made my life complete.
So I have to explore the option.
And I'll never give up acting. I can't. It's like my genetic makeup won't let me. But I can't turn my back on the possibility that I've found the person who could make me whole. And then spend the rest of my life alone.
So that's what's in Erika's head lately.
No matter what, though, I wouldn't be moving anywhere at least until March. Wherever I go I want to be prepared. I just think I could do it better only 150 miles away from home.
I need another beer.
Sittin' at Dad's, drinking a beer (what else is new), and missing my Sacramento and Greensboro friends.
And yes, folks, love IS in the air. Shane and I are sickening. And because of this whole mess I'm in, I've made a realization:
I don't want to go to Chicago yet. No, not BECAUSE of Shane. But I realized that I'm way too scared to go yet. Had I not come back to Shelby, I probably would already be in Chicago. But I DID come back. And I got comfortable. And I forgot how to live on my own. So, to summarize, I'm too freaked out to make such a huge move to someplace I haven't REALLY been, and without a car no less. ('Cause I would sell it before I moved there.) So, I've decided that I need to move to a place that's closer to home, where I do sort of know the area, and where I can have a car. So, Shane has nothing to do with that realization, but he does have a lot to do with WHERE I move.
I'm thinking Columbia, SC. There is a little bit of theatre there (nothing big, and nothing Equity, but I'm not worried about that), and I know the area, and it's 45 minutes away from Shane. Now I know what you're all thinking..."I can't believe she's giving it all up for a GUY!!! She's always been so independent!" Well, surprise, folks. I'm not as independent as I come off. And I also have recently admitted to myself that the one thing I want even before a career in theatre is to have a family. Yeah, sounds nothing like me, does it? Well, ya didn't know me. And apparently I didn't know myself either.
I'm just terrified of moving to Chicago (or wherever else) and not being prepared and ending up stranded and possibly giving up the one person that could have made my life complete.
So I have to explore the option.
And I'll never give up acting. I can't. It's like my genetic makeup won't let me. But I can't turn my back on the possibility that I've found the person who could make me whole. And then spend the rest of my life alone.
So that's what's in Erika's head lately.
No matter what, though, I wouldn't be moving anywhere at least until March. Wherever I go I want to be prepared. I just think I could do it better only 150 miles away from home.
I need another beer.