Christians Vs. Gays; The War Begins
Okay, this is the kind of thing that stops homosexuals becoming accepted into todays society. It is tosh like this that keeps people in fear of homosexuals and hating them.
To all homosexuals reading this: This might interest you on what is happening in the fight, and my thoughts on it and getting some truth out of it.
To all Christians who support homosexuals: This might not be the best thing to read. But if it gets your interests, I won't stop you, nor take responsibility for anything that may cause offense.
To all Christians and others who don't support homosexuals: You might wanna read this, if you aren't afraid. If you are, evidently you can't back up your hate.
Here we go.
My son Might be gay.
She wrote:My 16-year-old son's more interested in the arts than in athletics So whats the problem? He wants to do something creative than sporty! seems to have no interest in girls externally. I'm sure he tells you what he dreams of when he masturbates, and doesn't have many male friends at school or church. So find out if he has a problem with dealing with people on a social level. With all the publicity about homosexuality today, we can't help but worry our son could be gay. What's there to worry about? What should we do? Be loving and supportive to your son.
They responded; You just described my husband, Steve, as a 16-year-old. He was First Chair in band, never dated because he wanted to get good grades, and spent more time working and studying than hanging out with the guys. Typical of some "Workoholics", wouldn't you say? Today we have a healthy 16-year marriage and three wonderful children. Mother's fears play in on situation. So just because your son doesn't resemble the stereotypical high-school boy doesn't mean he's gay. This was one of the things that made me hope that the world was taking a better view on things. Oops!
Two common threads exist without documented evidence among those who struggle with homosexual tendencies such as being sexually attracted to boys his own age and not being attracted to girls his own age. First, does your son exhibit any signs of childhood molestation or incest? Prejudging BITCH! If you suspect this is the case, seek help from a local Christian counselor. Have you actually looked those words up in a dictionary to read what they mean, or is this just your guesswork on the situation?
SNIP: How does the Father/Son or Mother/Daughter roll play on someones sexuality? I am of the view and experiance it doesn't. I was accepted by my Father, didn't stop me being gay.
The father holds the key to affirming a boy's manhood. Bullshit. I grew up away from my Dad, resenting my stepfather and it didn't have a thing to do with why I am a homosexual. Without that blessing, a gaping hole is left in a young man's life. It is called confussion. Fortunately, a healing substitute often can be found in a strong father figure. A teacher, a close friends father or a slightly older male friend can do it, but usually, let the boy 'accept' the situation. If not, some young men attempt to "cannibalize" eat? other men through homosexual actions to fill that void. Translation; to fill the void of not having a male figure in your life, you have homosexual tendancies and eat other men. Correction; If a boy has no Father figure, he should find either someone to substitute, or the Mother needs to step up to the plate and be both a masquline and feminine roll to the child.
I know from personal friendships it's possible for someone who struggles with homosexual temptation Whatever! or who has embraced that lifestyle to find freedom and strength to change. Do you think they might embrace a homosexual lifestyle because it is part of who they are? Evidently not! The answer is first found in receiving redemption through Jesus Christ. I was a christian boy for a good 10 yeats, and I am still a homosexual. Because a man in white robes says "God will fix it", doesn't mean I can change. It means I need to accept who I am and move on. From there I recommend logging onto www.exodus-international.org or www.lovewonout.com for further information and direction. So after prejudging the child, you are going to leave the poor woman wondering what the fuck was that all about? The other leg has bells on it.
Conclusion: Christians are of the idea that Homosexuality is a mix of/involves 'Child Molestation and 'Incest.' To expand on these arguments, there is a number of things to point out. Child Molestation is a sin and a crime. Most offenders are men for their own reasons. Incest is a very twisted idea, and usually involves manipulation and force. Homosexuality (when not illegal) is a loving relationship or a consented one-night stand. It is wrong to think that there is a link between the three. Why? Because women can target young boys/girls or fe/male members of their family just as easily. Heterosexuals are just of guilty of any one of these sins as any gay person. So please have a little thought about that. I get the idea it would be nice to blame homosexuals for everything society finds indecent or immoral, but the problem is it becomes propergander and just delays any form of peace that can be achieved.
Next, The woman asking questions is simply closed-minded. She sees everything in a stereo-typical way and can't accept that just because her son can do something decorative and beautiful, doesn't mean he's gay. Whether he is/n't gay, good luck to him.
Q: Why do christians think homosexuality is a sin? Just because it is in the most updated version of the bible doesn't mean it is based on what was written long ago. Power and politics change the bible because they want people to think a certain way. People are intitled to their opinions, but when it is forced upon them, it isn't an opinion, it is a manipulation of peoples free will. Kind of like child molestation and Incest wouldn't you say?
All this was at; http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/sepoct/9.14.html
My Lesbian Neighbors
They asked; My next-door neighbors are lesbians and just got "married" in Massachusetts. GO GIRLS! How do I reach out to them in love without supporting their union? What is there not to support? It is love, not pornography (unless you're a str8 male with overactive hormones.)
They answered; SNIP Most of us aren't comfortable with the idea of homosexual relationships. Well get used to it, because they aren't going away, and they are not relationships with you. Shut your eyes, ignore it, but don't try to change it. We're concerned that redefining the historical and cultural definition of marriage will harm our children and ultimately undermine the very foundation of our society. But if you explain to your children the diversity of God by letting them get married, it will work out (generally) for the better. God gave us the ability to be diverse, so why don't you open your damned doors and let people accept one another? But many of us have friends, relatives, or coworkers who are gay. Well spotted! Is it possible to oppose same-sex marriage but still reach out in love toward homosexuals? Not really. You can reach out to them and ask them to tone themselves down, if you understand what I mean, but you can't opposse them and like them at the same time.
There are many compelling arguments that support traditional marriage and refute the claims of same-sex marriage advocates. They are blind-sighted by personal opinion, higher authorities and personal tastes. But before discussing the topic of same-sex marriage with gay friends and colleagues, we first need to educate ourselves about the nature of homosexuality itself. This is either going to be hysterically funny or sueriorly stupid... or both.
In my work at Focus on the Family oh dear!, I've found it's critical to distinguish between the homosexual person and the gay activist movement. Yes, there is a difference. It is called individuality. As human beings made in the image of God, both heterosexuals and homosexuals are ascribed incomprehensible worth and value. I will treasure that. But homosexual behavior grieves God because it violates his law and distorts his created intent for human sexuality (Exodus 18:22 Leviticus 20:13 1 Corinthians 6:9). God made us all as indiciduals with free will. If he didn't want us to do things, he wouldn't have given us free will. If ihe didn't want Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, he shouldn't have put it there. Now, as far as the whole 'grieves god' thing, I don't think he is up there slicing his wrists because I am off having buttsex with another guy.
As Christians, we're called to love homosexuals some days I believe this, some days I don't, and we always should treat gays and lesbians with respect and dignity. Good! But I believe without basing it on any actual facts, since it is an opinion, God also would have us stand up against the very real evil that's represented by the gay activist movement ...wanting acceptance and a fair share in protection and rights?, which often engages in deception and manipulation. And the church as SUCH a history of not doing that.... NOT!
Gay activist groups have propagated several myths about homosexuality that have been popularized by the mainstream media. And the church has not done anything to stop that. In fact, the church has made a lot of rumours as well, and theirs are not as quickly discredited.
First, contrary to popular belief, scientists no longer believe homosexuals are "born gay." I don't have the date that this was written, but new research has reconfirmed the possability. Several studies conducted in the early 1990s when technology wasn't as good appeared to show a genetic or biological cause for same-sex attraction, but according to the American Psychiatric Association because if it doesn't happen in America, it doesn't happen at all! none of those studies has been replicated. Until recently, that was true. Homosexuality is believed to be a hormonal imbalance, or being something to do with not being the first born.
Second, though gay activists deny it, many homosexuals have been able to change their sexual orientation and achieve fulfilling heterosexual relationships. Pick up a dictionary and look up the words 'Repression,' 'Denial,' and 'Willpower.' I won't deny it is possable, but at the same time, you can't force it, which I think that is what you are implying. Some men can, some can't. And just because some Christian activist tells me I'll go to hell, doesn't mean I am going to rush out and get a girl. My saying is 'If hell is a god-free place full of homosexuals, it can't be that bad.'
Finally, there's no truth to gay activists' claims that homosexuality is "normal and natural." Excuse me? Didn't you just say, and I quote; "As human beings made in the image of God, both heterosexuals and homosexuals are ascribed incomprehensible worth and value." We are normal, natural and there is nothing you can do about it! Gay men have a 1,000 percent greater risk of contracting AIDS than the general population, Several men get HIV AID'S from having unprotected sex with WOMEN! It is as common as the next STD. Yes, it is wider spread in the homosexual community, but it has been disproven that only homosexuals catch it. HIV is more contagious in men, especially if they still have thier foreskin. HIV spreads indescrimitally. It is a sad way to go and it is rude to tag it to us alone. No-one knows where it came from and it is propagander it was made by homosexuals alone. and their life expectancy is cut by up to 20 years. And many other things in this world that people take part in as a genral whole also shorten life. It is no different. In addition, new research indicates that both gays and lesbians have extremely high rates of psychiatric illness BULLSHIT! I might have issues like the next Joe on the street, but even if they were all resolved, I'd still be a homosexual, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide. Drug and alcohol abuse is a global issue, and effects everyone. Of all the people I have known with drinking problems, only 2 have been homosexual. Suicide... do you think that might come from people not accepting them because of this shit you're spouting? Child gets rejected by parent, childgets depressed, commits suicide. parent either remorses for their foolishness or doesn't. So how dare you say that, when you are the cause of it in the first place! DUH!
Sadly, many gays and lesbians themselves don't know these facts and are being kept in the dark about the true nature of homosexuality. Translation; They are something that they don't know about. Correction; Not knowing about something is a persons own lack of knowledge and responsability or a parents lack of teaching them, because they have rejected them. Even my own Mum reminds me frequently the dangers of homosexuality, but is still supportive of me and who I am. And for the record, she is a Christian.
In regard to your lesbian neighbors five miles after the question was asked, remember that what they need most is to experience Christ's love. I think they get that regardless of whether or not a member of your "god-sent" ideals is giving it to them or not. Your neighbors will be much more open to hearing your perspective (and God's truth) if you first reach out to them with love, kindness, and respect. Do you think that if you do that anyway, with or without Christ attached, that you might achieve peace? Be sensitive to the pain that may much underlying and circling of this word is implied lie just beneath the surface of their lives. These are called personal issues, and they might/not share them with you. These issues reflect more on lifes issues than the sole reason they are the way they are (which is better than being like you.)
SNIP As we discuss it, whether inside or outside the church, may we be ever mindful that we are Christ's ambassadors to get him an asprin, even he must have a headache after all this shit! to a hurting world. The world is going to hurt all the time, and from a lot more serious issues than homosexuality. May our words and actions always be "full of grace" and "seasoned with salt" I wanna be sick. While my words are polite, kind, caring and helpful, I don't sugarcoat them as such. (Colossians 4:6)
Conclusion: That was just funny. I am a homosexual. I am not into doing drugs, drinking and I am not suicidal. I do not have HIV AID's. I know I could become straight (not happening atm) and I am well aware of the dangers that come with the homosexual world (which are the same as the dangers of the straight world.) Because I am/not all of these things, what box are you going to put me in? Whichever one it is, I bet it is very roomy.
Consider this: The two women next door might already follow god. The two women might already be a part of the church. The two women don't believe in satan. Does that make them any different in your eyes? Probably not. One of my Ex-boyfriends got kicked out of church because he was a homosexual. He never did anything wrong and he was a polite person. So fill me in on why they kicked him out? Do you not go to church to be forgiven for your sins? If homosexuality is a sin, but you don't let them into the church to e forgiven, then what are they supposed to do? Oh, right, you probably didn't think of that. I'd like to finish of by asking 'Will God judge me for loving of judge you for hating?'
This is at; http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/novdec/6.30.html
A Friend Comes Out
It started out like every other lunch I'd had with my friend Ann:
SNIP: Boring details!
I'd just lifted my little round teacup to my lips when Ann looked me straight in the eye and said, "There's something I need to tell you about me."
"Sure. Shoot," I said, shrugging. What could she tell me I didn't already know? Evidently, quite a bit. After all, we'd been good friends since high school, more than a decade ago. Have you ever heard the expression 'Things Change?'
SNIP: The past, not interesting.
Ann's gaze didn't waver as I set down my teacup and leaned forward expectantly. Then she dropped the bomb. I'd prefer to think of it as she told you a truth in which she thought she could confide in you. "Marlo," she stated, her voice shaking a little, "I'm a lesbian." Boom. Just like that. You say this like it is a world issue.
"Um, uh, you're a … gulp," was my oh-so-articulate response. I am willing to bet that the first thought in her head was 'Does my friend want to get with me sexually?' Then, as I sat and stared at her, dumbstruck, the words of an old memory verse flitted through my mind: "Be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Tim. 4:2). In truth, I was anything but prepared, so I simply said "Oh," then stuffed another bite of mu shu pork in my mouth. I know it is a bit of a shock to the system, I can understand that, but I can't believe you had to chuck a 3 page worry about it.
After Ann's startling revelation, I had no clue what to say next. Something simple would have been fine. 'thats nice.' 'I'm happy for you.' whatever works is good. Should I blast her with my convictions? YOU IDIOT! She's your best friend (or so you say) and doing that would majorly betray her trust in you and really hurt her. Tell her the gay lifestyle is sinful? I have come to the conclussion that not a lot of gays really care about that. Or nod and say, "Gee, that's great," even though such words would be a lie? So why can't you make your mind more flexable and make it somewhat truthful? How would Jesus want me to respond? With the same aount of friendship and understanding you have shared with her for the last 10+ years. What would he say if he were in my place? Good luck to you my child.
So she's a lesbian. Now what?
According to Kate, a spokesperson for Grace Unlimited (a ministry that helps homosexuals leave the gay lifestyle) Correction; When homosexuals need support in changing because they can feel it changing, then yes, they ca turn to you. Do not imply homosexuals should queue out the door to be forced to change., it's important to remember that God condemns homosexual behavior, not homosexual people. So homosexuals should be celebate with chastity belts? Whatever you reckon! Because of his love for us, he prohibits behaviors he knows will harm us. Umm, have you ever actually tried buttsex, or some of the wonderful activities lesbians get up to? You would probably find it isn't as bad as you claim? So, instead of responding with disgust or condemnation, suggests Linda Schultz, who ministers to many lesbian friends, I am hoping this is a good thing/way. we need to exemplify God's love for the person.
But how can you show God's love without approving of your friend's choice? I have said it before, will say it again. Why don't you consider being approving of the behaviours. I agree they aren't for everyone, but be happy for your friend that she is being true to herself. It starts with considering your friend's needs before your own. What is she feeling? What is she going through? Good call. the selfish bitch writing to you probably never thought of that.
Today, Ann can tell me how she felt when she dropped her bombshell over mu shu pork and beef in oyster sauce. Do you really think people care about what you were eating? "I was so nervous about telling you because I knew you were involved in Christian groups," she says. I'd find it a good reason not to tell her. "Coming out to a friend can be frightening. It means exposing your deep feelings and risking rejection. I hope you realise what she is doing here! If I found out about this, I'd have a tanty with her. You didn't say very much, so I wondered if you were thinking, 'Evil bitch, you're going to hell?' 'May god smote you with a holy smite of smiting?' You're going to go to hell, but didn't say it because you were being polite." I don't think 'polite' is the best term right now. I think 'stunned' or 'devostated/revolted' is closer to the picture.
But I can't agree with her lifestyle.
According to Ann, the worst response is to say nothing. "That makes the person feel as though she has to come out again and again and again." I'm glad you know something about all this because the one thing you don't know about is Diversity on its largest and most open scale.
So instead of saying something such as, "How could you?" or "That's a sin," there were ten comandments. 'Thal shalt not have buttsex with the same gender' or 'Thal shalst not have girls with girls unless tis for extremely profitable pornography' were not in there. it's best to let the person who's coming out simply talk. Suppose thats somewhat right. She may not have had a chance to talk about this to anyone yet. And the silly girl who is wroting to you didn't really think of that. She didn't take the time to feel the honour that she was the first told, or the importance of her position in her friends life. God what disrespect.
Rather than give Ann the dumbstruck look, I should have asked questions: "How long have you been thinking about this?" "Have you told your family?" "How long have you considered yourself a lesbian?" "What factors led you to think about homosexuality?" At least she got 3/4 right. The last one is a bit of mind turner. I am a homosexual, and sometimes I might think about tits just for the amuzement of the subject. But it doesn't mean in any way that I am going to get with a girl at any point in the future. By responding with questions and being a caring listener, I not only could have exemplified God's love, Oh for the love of Goddess but earned the right to share more deeply about my relationship with Christ. What does that have to do with it?
After I'd gotten over my initial shock, I began wondering how far I should go in arguing my beliefs with Ann. How about leaving her the fuck alone about your beliefs? Can you not see past the gay side of her? She is still the friend you had, just there is one thing different. Big friggen whoop!
I had to see past the "gay" label to the real person.
According to Anita Worthen and Bob Davies, authors of Someone I Love Is Gay (IVP), "Sometimes the best argument is a loving action done in silence." I love gays, and I don't need to be silent about it. And Linda Schultz of Grace Unlimited insists we don't have to compromise our belief in Scripture's stance on the subject of homosexuality. Another word for you to look up in the dictionary, 'Accetance.' Rather, we can simply agree to disagree. What is there to disagree about? She suggests saying, "One of us is wrong. So why not let the Holy Spirit be the one to let us know who is right?" You're so right there. Will god judge homosexuals for loving or christian activists like you for hating? If I had my best friend say that to me I'd be devistated, because it was evident that they wanted me to go to hell for being myself. Why can't you people see this?
I had to see past the 'gay' label to the real person.
The important thing, asserts Kate of Grace Unlimited, is to maintain an open dialog in which both parties feel respected. "Many lesbians who've been condemned, ridiculed, or rejected by Christians turn to homosexual organizations for the support they feel they need, someone's a wakeup! thus becoming more entrenched in their beliefs and behavior," she says. You people just don't get it do you? Love, sex, and all of the things in between that occur between 'normal' relationships is something god would want us to do. Rather than see this side as a major down, see it as an up. If two guys love each other for ever, will it really make a difference? There is more love in the world.
I do, however, agree that the mass partying, drug and alcohol involvement is a little frustrating when it comes to the gay scene. I avoid it myslef as there is little/no interest for me. You need to be more specific on what it is that homosexuals and lesbians should and shouldn't do to get to heaven.
Eventually, I learned I could accept Ann's choice of lifestyle without condoning it. Congradulations! I would have thought any human being with a brain could have worked that out, but there you go. To do that, I had to see past the "gay" label to the real person. See previous comment.
To be honest, at first I found my relationship with Ann uncomfortable. To be expected. There we'd be, picking at our Chinese food, sitting in a movie theater, or hanging out at the coffee shop while I wondered how to act, what to say. Try being yourself, you silly twit! Should I mention her homosexuality? It is not all of who she is. Should I ask about her social life? Better than the last. How should I treat her girlfriend? What a ridiculous question to ask. Could I discuss what I was learning in my Bible study without her feeling as though I was condemning her? No. When it comes to issues like this, religion and sexuality should be left out. When you both agree on one or the other (or both) without any misgivings, then they become open subjects. Until then, you need to be careful with your subject matter.
I feel so uncomfortable
Meeting her girlfriend, Sue, was the most difficult. I fail to understand. They held hands. I fidgeted. They talked about a recent trip to the West Coast. I stared at my hands, the ground-anything but Sue and Ann. It isn't a porn movie or anything! But as the evening progressed, I discovered that even Sue was just another person with likes and dislikes, hobbies, hopes, and pet peeves. I am guessing it took you a few hours to work this out. What gives with the seriously delayed reactions? Being a lesbian was part of her life, not all of it. About time! She was simply a woman who needed Christ. Maybe not! Just like Ann. Last comment!
As Ann continued to see the importance of Christ and Scripture in my life, the issues of the Bible and homosexuality came up naturally, without me having to force the subject. Told you!
One day, while we sat and stirred coffee, Ann looked straight at me and said, "Marlo, why are Christians so judgmental about homosexuality?" Yes, please, tell me. I am fasinated to know! Why do I have a feeling that the answer is going to short, unfounded and basic crap?
Unlike when she first dropped the "I'm a lesbian" bomb, this time I was prepared. "It's not being judgmental," I replied. "It's having integrity. SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE it is! If I say I believe what the Bible says, I have to believe all of it, not just the parts I like, or the parts that are convenient to believe. I suppose there is truth in that. So when I read passages like Leviticus 18:22 and especially Romans 1:26-27, I have to believe the homosexual lifestyle is wrong. If I based my life on a book that said prejudus things, I think I'd kill myself or the book. If I were to say 'it's okay,' then I'd be a hypocrite, wouldn't I?" NO! You'd be doing yourself and your friend a favor.
Ann nodded. "I guess so. So, you really think being a lesbian is a sin?"
"I believe that engaging in the lesbian lifestyle is a sin, yes. But I also think that committing adultery is a sin, lusting is a sin, getting drunk is a sin, and hating someone else is a sin. In fact, we're all sinners. If we say we're not, then we're liars. But through Christ, God can forgive us. It's as simple as that." Thank you! God disagrees with homosexual lifestyle and says it is a sin, but god will forgive us in the end so we can still be sinners and in his forever merciful arms at the same time.
Ann lifted her coffee cup. "Guess I hadn't thought of it quite that way," she murmured and took a sip. I had, but a lot of the things I read and hear contradict it, so I am lost on what I am supposed to believe.
As time has passed, the answer I've found to all my questions turns out to be a simple one-just be honest. Clever cookie. Took your time though, didn't you? As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, "A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud." To quote my favorite book and movie; 'Sometimes the best remark is silence.' Memoirs of a Geisha.
Today, Ann and I both know we can share openly with each other. Sure, she knows I don't approve of her lifestyle, but she also knows I love her anyway. And that is the first step towards full acceptance. Get with the program everyone! And though our jobs have taken us to different cities, and we don't get together as often as we once did, I still haven't given up hope that Ann will accept Christ someday, too. Spoke too soon!
I continue to show Ann God's love and pray that one day she'll choose to give her life to him. If she does, I hope it is for a seriously good cause and not because she got shoved into it. And on that day, I'll be rejoicing with the angels in heaven. The Angels support both of you unconditionally. Get over it already.
Marlo Schalesky, a freelance writer, lives in California.
How to be the friend she needs.
Here are 8 tips to help you maintain a healthy relationship with your lesbian friend and steer clear of trouble: Lets see if I agree.
1. Don't become your friend's exclusive source of support. Instead, introducer her to other Christian friends. Okay, somewhat helpful, but cross the christian bt out and try again.
2. Continue to pray for your friend, but don't tell her, "I'm praying for you not to be a lesbian." Say instead, "I'm praying God will show you his best for your life." Did it ever cross your mind that he might have done so already? Also pray for God's guidance in your friendship. Better
3. Avoid arguing over political issues regarding homosexuality, or making unkind remarks or jokes that involve lesbianism-whether or not your friend's present. Keep your conversation focused on personal matters. Good call.
4. Be open about your personal relationship with Christ. What does this have to do with it? Create an atmosphere where you both feel free to share what's on your heart. This was all you had to see sweetie!
5. Make sure your friend clearly understands you stance regarding homosexuality and your unconditional love for her. Make the latter more clear to her, it will make her feel better. She needs to know that even though you disagree with her lifestyle, you still care for her.
6. Be honest about your own struggles. good call. Don't feel as if your life needs to appear "perfect" in order to attract your friend to Christ. URG!
7. Don't make homosexuality the primary point of your conversations, but don't avoid the subject if it comes up. You said that already!
8. Educate yourself regarding homosexuality. If you are going to do that, I suggest doing it aay from these websites.
All this was at:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/1999/sepoct/9w5048.html
When Homosexuality Hits Home (Unsporked.)
SNIP: Intro. She hates gays because one treated her oddly at her work. Big deal! Introduces the family, Husband Older son (Rick) and Younger Son (Tim)
But one night seven years later, I feared for my life in the throes of my husband's drunken rage. Yes, that is perfectly reasonable. The next day I confronted him. I couldn't live with his drinking problem any longer, and I urged him to seek help. Instead, he moved out. I suppose that is six and one-half dozen of the other. I wouldn't know from experience. Several months later, he divorced me. To pay off our debts, I sold our home, moved into an apartment, and started rebuilding my life. I'd been through hell and survived. Nothing would ever again shake me like that. Sadly, that isn't true.
The end of our thirty-year marriage created an upheaval in my sons' lives. Rick and his wife divorced about a year later. Tim abandoned college and joined the U.S. Marine Corps, going first to San Diego, then to Saudi Arabia and Kuwait during the Persian Gulf War. I prayed for his safety, not knowing a greater battle in spiritual warfare awaited his return. For the love of Goddess! After his discharge in May, 1991, Tim remained in San Diego.
Then, on January 3, 1992, an emotional earthquake shattered my world. The pages of Tim's letter trembled in my hand as I read: "My sexual orientation has bothered me since I was twelve. Natural. Please, Mom, listen to me. If you think she will. I feel a strong attraction for men. I understand how you must feel . …"
Coffee splashed as I slammed my cup on the table and threw down the letter. No, Tim couldn't possibly understand, or he'd never have written this. Who do you think has the greater problem? You dealing with it or him living with it, knowing he is not going to fit in as well in society? Think about it for two minutes. I lurched up from the sofa, his words scorching my mind.
" … I am who I am, and it's taken me thirteen years to be able to accept this. … " Good for you. Too bad your Mother doesn't accept/appreciate the struggle you have gone through.
Thirteen years? No. No, I'd have known. Not totally true. What about his girlfriends in high school and college? Here we go again. Have you ever heard of the term 'experimenting sexually?' or 'Discovering one's self?' How could he be gay? Quite easily. What happened? Where had I failed? You didn't fail. You would have if all of your kids were gay. Don't get your panties in a twist. Accordingly, you have three grandchildren, so don't worry bout it. Parents don't fail when their children come out. More importantly, children succeed when they come out.
I fell to my knees sobbing. Then pulling myself off the floor, I grabbed my keys, snatched up Tim's letter, and ran to my car, taking off in the winter night. I understand that when someone gets really shaken like this, the need for immediute action jumps into play. But sadly, it will do little to help the situation.
SNIP: Nearly has car accident, pulls over, takes a chill pill and then thinks. Okay, Lord, I give up. What do you want me to do? Switching on the map light, I picked up Tim's letter. This time I heard his pain: "I feel alone. I'm so afraid of my family rejecting me. … You're still my mom, and I still love you. I always will." And it took her all this time to realise her child is hurting. But evidently, that doesn't matter in comparrison to your own beliefs.
I had to hear Tim's voice, so I drove back to my apartment and dialed his number. When Tim answered, tears flooded my eyes. I told him I loved him, no matter what. Better than nothing I guess. But, I said, homosexuality is a sin. Do you really think he needs to hear this? 'Mum, I feel alone and scared about who I am and I need your help. 'You're a sinner.' Yeah. What a wonderful conversation. "You're not alone, Tim. I'm here and Jesus is too. URG! God loves you. Remember Romans 8:38-39? What does this have to do with it? People should be able to come out of their shell without listening to this. It is most likely the last thing they want to know. Nothing can separate you from God's love in Christ Jesus. Thank you. I've been waiting so long to hear a Christian of any level say this. But you must renounce this lifestyle." Spoke too soon. What, shoud son become celibute and repress his sexual desire? Should he not love? Should he not be allowed to have a loving relationship with another man? I'd rather die than put up with a lifetime without someone to love me as only a partneer can.
Tim sobbed, unable to speak. After a few moments I said, "I'll call you tomorrow. I love you, Tim." I suppose it is a better start than rejecting him. Sorrow filled my heart as I hung up.
Over the next few weeks, we talked on the phone or through letters. I needed answers. "Tim, why? Because that is who he is. Was it the war? I'd like to hear some logic behind that one. Did something happen over there? Same answer. Or when you were little?" That can have something to do with it.
Eventually, he opened up. "Remember the older boy in my third grade class? The bully?" Tim said. "Well, he cornered me one day after school--" his voice broke. "After that, he told everyone I was a fag. Nobody wanted to be around me." And that should be proof, more than anything else to anyone, what a hard time we can have. People live in uncontrolled fear. We don't use homosexuality to push people around, but people move because they don't understand us or misjudge us.
He told me of a couple more childhood incidents when older boys had threatened or bribed him into cooperating with their sexual indulgences. Then came another shock. Okay, it is possible that a sexual assault on a younger person, regardless of the age of the offender, can have subsequent effect. When a younger person is sexually offended against, then his/her psychological clock is set into motion too early. They become confused and unsure.There are two possible end results. 1) The child becomes a homosexual. 2)The child becomes homophobic. This will stay with them the rest of their lives. Even if they understand the issues that were inflicted upon them, it doesn't change anything. It is wrong of the offender, and it is also a bad way to make things work in life.
"Did I ever tell you about the time Dad took me to a gay community in Massachusetts right before I joined the Marines?" This'll be really off-putting.
The phone turned to lead in my hand. "No," I whispered.
"It was a business trip. When the business was done, that's where we went, to a town on Cape Cod. It's a gay community." He paused. "Well, maybe you didn't know. You guys weren't divorced yet, but Dad had moved out."
As Tim described the incident, it became clear his father had been to this place before. My heart raced. "Did anything happen? I mean--"
"No, Mom, nothing happened. Dad wanted to go to this gay bar. He laughed and joked with these guys. I kept my eyes glued to the TV and didn't talk to anybody. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to die." Bitterness laced his words. "I don't think I've ever come so close to hating him." Now, I don't really have much to say on this issue, but here we go. When exposed to the homosexual world, especially at a young age where confusion can still be at work, it is hard to determine what is right and wrong when it comes to sexuality. Now, there is fault with the Father in this situation. He should have talked to his son and told him about where they were going, what to expect, it is normal and so on. Not doing so can have a major effect on the child.
I recalled other business trips when Tim was nine or ten. So this happened during/shortly after the assults on him. That was useful. At the time, I was pleased my husband was spending time with this younger son. Did something happen then? I won't harp on about it, but there is a huge difference between Child Molesters and Homosexuals. I tried to question Tim, but he refused to talk about it. He didn't remember. He thought he'd had a happy childhood. I let it go. Probably for the better.
As the weeks went by, I felt ashamed and afraid. My prayers seemed inadequate. There is always a master plan, so don't expect a quick fix honey. Desperate, I called my dear friend Dory, a nurse. Her nonjudgmental, no-nonsense voice offered strength. Friends are really good for doing that. She told me about Barbara Johnson's book, Where Does a Mother Go to Resign? I read it and called Barbara. This dynamic woman shared hope, encouragement, and the names of two other women in similar circumstances. I wasn't alone. I know it is always hard to believe when you are struggling, but you are never alone. Someone, somewhere, is facing the same issues as you (give or take certain circumstances) and it just takes a moment of thought to know tou aren't the only suffering soul in this world.
I learned about Exodus International, a worldwide Christian ministry dedicated to helping men and women who want to overcome homosexuality and turn to Christ. I know these places exist, and I have been over this point earlier. If they offered people help in moving from one to the other WHEN THE CHANGE IS HAPPENING then I'd be okay with that, but the problem is that homosexuals become scared of the people that hate them, and repress themselves just to get into society. Please, someone help me and them. From Exodus, I received the names of two Christian men in San Diego who had renounced homosexuality and were available to counsel others. Excited, I called Tim with the good news, convinced he would grab this opportunity to be free from bondage. Excuse me? While yes, bondage is a type of sexual activity some enjoy, homosexuality is not binding, nor is it constrictive. It is actually rather freeing. I was wrong. He said he wasn't in bondage. Good for him! He didn't want to be free from homosexuality. Correction: He wanted to be a homosexual because it was what he was comfortable with. He said he was born this way, and Jesus knew. YES! THANK YOU TIM! You have said exactly what I think. Jesus and God know who we are, what we are and he is happy that we are this way. He made us this way, and I don't think he will be too unhappy if we follow our lives as lawfully and happily as we can. jesus and God don't have emo fits when guys have buttsex and they don't think homosexuality is wrong. Why? Because it is the gift of equality. God gave us the diversity to understand it, and the knowledge to be at peace about it.
How could he be so deceived? Oh wake up! He is happy. Shouldn't that be all that matters? From the beginning, I'd taught him about Jesus, whom he had invited into his life at the age of five. And Jesus is still there, still helping him and guiding him, just not awy from homosexuality, but down the life path that was set for him, whether homosexuality is included or not.
Through the years, I'd had no inkling something was wrong. probably because (aside from the sexual assaults) there wasn't anything wrong. Did Tim ever hint at trouble? Did I really listen? Were there dark secrets in our household? I don't know. I really wish you would tone this down honey, it isn't that bad.
After Tim's letter in 1992, I regarded my adult son as a victim. He is a victim of sexual offense, but not of homosexuality. "They" had caught and trapped him. The sexual offenders: yes. Homosexuals: No. "They" were faceless, nameless, evil people. Homosexuals. Enemies. Let me think about this for a second. I am someone who is homosexual, would give up my time to help people with no thought of reward, would stop what I was doing if a close friend was destrissed. I don't hurt people, I don't force people and I certainly don't spend my time belittling people to do what I want them to. I believe in God in a certain level, I believe Jesus was a real person on this earth. I dont believe in this pointless war of human rights and I don't believe that we deserve a hard time by narrow-minded homophobic men who don't understand. Why am I evil again?
But God wasn't finished with me yet. I suppose that is good. That spring, Tim brought a friend home-a homosexual. The enemy had arrived on my doorstep trying to be accepted and be your friend. I was tense but quickly realized Tim's friend was even more nervous. She's a wake up. I sensed his fear of rejection. Mothering instincts surged, and my heart reached out to him. He wasn't an enemy-he was a wounded soul. She finally pulled things together on that level. I suppose it can only get better.
My quiet times with the Lord changed from selfish pain and anger to genuine grief for Tim and others like him. And this is what I would hope all Christians would understand. Satan blinds them to the truth and deceives them. I really should keep reading before I type my thoughts.
The change in my attitude toward homosexuals was tested in my workplace where some of my colleagues apparently are gay or bisexual; I no longer avoid them. This makes for a more effective and friendly office. Now expand this to a world wide level. Do you not see how this might make the world a happier place if we all accepted homosexuality? They're real people, just like me. Five points to you dear. The Lord's softened my heart, and I've learned to hate the sin while I love, or at least care for, the sinner. Fice points off you. Homosexuality is not a sin. there is nothing in the seriously seriously old versions of the bible that say homosexuality is a sin. I am sure that the up-to-date versions are flooded with it, but we all know what I think about that.
Tim often brings homosexual friends when he comes to visit me and my new husband, Chuck. He once told me, "You guys are living proof to my friends that heterosexual marriage can work." Perhaps he, too, is seeking proof-and hope-for himself.
When Chuck proposed a few years ago, I told him about Tim and about my commitment to the Lord to be available to Tim and his friends. Chuck regards Tim as his own son and together we've opened our home to these wounded souls, many of whom have been rejected by parents and siblings. She has all the peices in front of her (say for a few) so why is the most important link missing? Tim never asks to stay overnight when he has a companion. Their conduct is above reproach in our home. that I can agree with. It would be rude to have someone over you could potentially bonk while at someone else's house. Often an arrogant attitude masks their pain or expresses their dislike for the Christians who have shunned them, but it soon dissolves. Some of them jokingly call me Mom. Cute!
If the opportunity arrives to present the gospel, I do, usually in the form of my own testimony. Oh Lord. This opens the door for them to express their views of Christianity. I hear anger. These young men say they've been rejected by their own churches and therefore, they imply, by God. Church: Yes. God: No. I never believe that A/any god leves someone behind, even if they deserve it. They've turned their backs and buried themselves in resentment and fear. I wonder who else this might reflect?
How can we reach these hardened hearts? For me, evangelism begins with friendship. I am one small part of God's whole plan-perhaps I can plant one tiny seed, and the next one will plant the garden, and others will nourish it. This would be a step up from the Exodus Foundation thingy. Instead of turning gays, it supports them. I hope this plan goes well. As I write, Tim seems resigned to being homosexual, but he gives clues that he's not a practicing homosexual. It's a fine line of distinction, perhaps even a rationalization. Only God knows the heart (1 Kings 8:39). Jesus, Tim says, is his best friend. I believe him. But I also know Jesus is more than a friend-he is the Savior and Lord. God heard that five year old's prayer inviting Jesus into his life. Even if Tim has strayed away, God hasn't moved. So why are you and a few hundred other Christians the only ones to see this? He'll be there when Tim chooses to resist the devil and listen to the Holy Spirit. Did everything you type just completely bypass you? He accepts God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and so on. Satan can't touch someone who has befriended Jesus because Jesus protects them. He has turned to them so therefore, Satan has no power over Tim. If he is not a practicing homosexual (which I doubt) then he not sinning, and is therefore not a sinner and is not engaging in the sin. Do I have to spell this out for you? You must be more than twice my age.
My heart still hurts. So heal it. My son's life is far from happy, his future uncertain. I am a homosexual, and my future is ahead of me. Becquse I am who I am doesn't change it. What you are failing to see is that homosexuals have a hard time, and people use it as a good excuse to reject them. The New King James version of Psalms 56:8 says God puts my tears in his bottle. My hope rests with the Lord. "They will return from the land of the enemy [Satan] . …Your children will return to their own land" What if they are living in their land right now and you just don't realize it? (Jer. 31:16-17). In the meantime, God has called me to pray for and love Tim, and to be available. You say that like he isn't your son.
Conclusion: On the spectrum of good and bad, this thing jumps all over the place like a kid on red and green cordial. The day Christians except homosexuals as people, not devils, is a long way off. When that day comes, I think it will be the first time in a long time that God is relieved at the peace that is made.
When I reflect on a lot of my own Christian teachings and a lot of the things I learned in Sunday School, I look at this and wonder where it all went. Was I taught lies? Were these things designed to blind me to the real darkness in the world? How can I believe them now? In comparison to todays new world, I guess I was taught nothing but sugar-coatings for what really is. Tell me where these sayings went? (Don't have bible referances.) These were the things I was taught to live by.
'Love thy neighbor.'
'God made all, God loves all.'
'Believe in god and he shall deliver you from evil'
'Peace be among us.'
'God died for our sins.'
'Go to church and be forgiven for the things you have done wrong.'
'God will never leave you.'
Where does all that go when our personal fears and beliefs are threatened? Out the door as I have noticed. I was brought up to believe that Christians were the forgivers, who never hated anyone for who they were, and never judged because the person would be forgiven. I think God ment for all of this and more, but evidently the people he sent to do his work and make things right in this world decided that it wasn't good enough to follow. I understand that people have their own preferences, fears, understandings and so on, but the end result is that no one in this world is truely right or wrong. I am not fully right here. Neither are the people who I am dealing with. So why do Christians, more blind-sighted than any sinners I know, think they can control others?
Well, I think I have made my point. Look out for the next session; The War Continues.
All this was at: http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/1997/novdec/7w6046.html?gclid=CLiE-ert9IwCFRqfYAodPQ0Z_A&start=1
To all homosexuals reading this: This might interest you on what is happening in the fight, and my thoughts on it and getting some truth out of it.
To all Christians who support homosexuals: This might not be the best thing to read. But if it gets your interests, I won't stop you, nor take responsibility for anything that may cause offense.
To all Christians and others who don't support homosexuals: You might wanna read this, if you aren't afraid. If you are, evidently you can't back up your hate.
Here we go.
My son Might be gay.
She wrote:My 16-year-old son's more interested in the arts than in athletics So whats the problem? He wants to do something creative than sporty! seems to have no interest in girls externally. I'm sure he tells you what he dreams of when he masturbates, and doesn't have many male friends at school or church. So find out if he has a problem with dealing with people on a social level. With all the publicity about homosexuality today, we can't help but worry our son could be gay. What's there to worry about? What should we do? Be loving and supportive to your son.
They responded; You just described my husband, Steve, as a 16-year-old. He was First Chair in band, never dated because he wanted to get good grades, and spent more time working and studying than hanging out with the guys. Typical of some "Workoholics", wouldn't you say? Today we have a healthy 16-year marriage and three wonderful children. Mother's fears play in on situation. So just because your son doesn't resemble the stereotypical high-school boy doesn't mean he's gay. This was one of the things that made me hope that the world was taking a better view on things. Oops!
Two common threads exist without documented evidence among those who struggle with homosexual tendencies such as being sexually attracted to boys his own age and not being attracted to girls his own age. First, does your son exhibit any signs of childhood molestation or incest? Prejudging BITCH! If you suspect this is the case, seek help from a local Christian counselor. Have you actually looked those words up in a dictionary to read what they mean, or is this just your guesswork on the situation?
SNIP: How does the Father/Son or Mother/Daughter roll play on someones sexuality? I am of the view and experiance it doesn't. I was accepted by my Father, didn't stop me being gay.
The father holds the key to affirming a boy's manhood. Bullshit. I grew up away from my Dad, resenting my stepfather and it didn't have a thing to do with why I am a homosexual. Without that blessing, a gaping hole is left in a young man's life. It is called confussion. Fortunately, a healing substitute often can be found in a strong father figure. A teacher, a close friends father or a slightly older male friend can do it, but usually, let the boy 'accept' the situation. If not, some young men attempt to "cannibalize" eat? other men through homosexual actions to fill that void. Translation; to fill the void of not having a male figure in your life, you have homosexual tendancies and eat other men. Correction; If a boy has no Father figure, he should find either someone to substitute, or the Mother needs to step up to the plate and be both a masquline and feminine roll to the child.
I know from personal friendships it's possible for someone who struggles with homosexual temptation Whatever! or who has embraced that lifestyle to find freedom and strength to change. Do you think they might embrace a homosexual lifestyle because it is part of who they are? Evidently not! The answer is first found in receiving redemption through Jesus Christ. I was a christian boy for a good 10 yeats, and I am still a homosexual. Because a man in white robes says "God will fix it", doesn't mean I can change. It means I need to accept who I am and move on. From there I recommend logging onto www.exodus-international.org or www.lovewonout.com for further information and direction. So after prejudging the child, you are going to leave the poor woman wondering what the fuck was that all about? The other leg has bells on it.
Conclusion: Christians are of the idea that Homosexuality is a mix of/involves 'Child Molestation and 'Incest.' To expand on these arguments, there is a number of things to point out. Child Molestation is a sin and a crime. Most offenders are men for their own reasons. Incest is a very twisted idea, and usually involves manipulation and force. Homosexuality (when not illegal) is a loving relationship or a consented one-night stand. It is wrong to think that there is a link between the three. Why? Because women can target young boys/girls or fe/male members of their family just as easily. Heterosexuals are just of guilty of any one of these sins as any gay person. So please have a little thought about that. I get the idea it would be nice to blame homosexuals for everything society finds indecent or immoral, but the problem is it becomes propergander and just delays any form of peace that can be achieved.
Next, The woman asking questions is simply closed-minded. She sees everything in a stereo-typical way and can't accept that just because her son can do something decorative and beautiful, doesn't mean he's gay. Whether he is/n't gay, good luck to him.
Q: Why do christians think homosexuality is a sin? Just because it is in the most updated version of the bible doesn't mean it is based on what was written long ago. Power and politics change the bible because they want people to think a certain way. People are intitled to their opinions, but when it is forced upon them, it isn't an opinion, it is a manipulation of peoples free will. Kind of like child molestation and Incest wouldn't you say?
All this was at; http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/sepoct/9.14.html
My Lesbian Neighbors
They asked; My next-door neighbors are lesbians and just got "married" in Massachusetts. GO GIRLS! How do I reach out to them in love without supporting their union? What is there not to support? It is love, not pornography (unless you're a str8 male with overactive hormones.)
They answered; SNIP Most of us aren't comfortable with the idea of homosexual relationships. Well get used to it, because they aren't going away, and they are not relationships with you. Shut your eyes, ignore it, but don't try to change it. We're concerned that redefining the historical and cultural definition of marriage will harm our children and ultimately undermine the very foundation of our society. But if you explain to your children the diversity of God by letting them get married, it will work out (generally) for the better. God gave us the ability to be diverse, so why don't you open your damned doors and let people accept one another? But many of us have friends, relatives, or coworkers who are gay. Well spotted! Is it possible to oppose same-sex marriage but still reach out in love toward homosexuals? Not really. You can reach out to them and ask them to tone themselves down, if you understand what I mean, but you can't opposse them and like them at the same time.
There are many compelling arguments that support traditional marriage and refute the claims of same-sex marriage advocates. They are blind-sighted by personal opinion, higher authorities and personal tastes. But before discussing the topic of same-sex marriage with gay friends and colleagues, we first need to educate ourselves about the nature of homosexuality itself. This is either going to be hysterically funny or sueriorly stupid... or both.
In my work at Focus on the Family oh dear!, I've found it's critical to distinguish between the homosexual person and the gay activist movement. Yes, there is a difference. It is called individuality. As human beings made in the image of God, both heterosexuals and homosexuals are ascribed incomprehensible worth and value. I will treasure that. But homosexual behavior grieves God because it violates his law and distorts his created intent for human sexuality (Exodus 18:22 Leviticus 20:13 1 Corinthians 6:9). God made us all as indiciduals with free will. If he didn't want us to do things, he wouldn't have given us free will. If ihe didn't want Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, he shouldn't have put it there. Now, as far as the whole 'grieves god' thing, I don't think he is up there slicing his wrists because I am off having buttsex with another guy.
As Christians, we're called to love homosexuals some days I believe this, some days I don't, and we always should treat gays and lesbians with respect and dignity. Good! But I believe without basing it on any actual facts, since it is an opinion, God also would have us stand up against the very real evil that's represented by the gay activist movement ...wanting acceptance and a fair share in protection and rights?, which often engages in deception and manipulation. And the church as SUCH a history of not doing that.... NOT!
Gay activist groups have propagated several myths about homosexuality that have been popularized by the mainstream media. And the church has not done anything to stop that. In fact, the church has made a lot of rumours as well, and theirs are not as quickly discredited.
First, contrary to popular belief, scientists no longer believe homosexuals are "born gay." I don't have the date that this was written, but new research has reconfirmed the possability. Several studies conducted in the early 1990s when technology wasn't as good appeared to show a genetic or biological cause for same-sex attraction, but according to the American Psychiatric Association because if it doesn't happen in America, it doesn't happen at all! none of those studies has been replicated. Until recently, that was true. Homosexuality is believed to be a hormonal imbalance, or being something to do with not being the first born.
Second, though gay activists deny it, many homosexuals have been able to change their sexual orientation and achieve fulfilling heterosexual relationships. Pick up a dictionary and look up the words 'Repression,' 'Denial,' and 'Willpower.' I won't deny it is possable, but at the same time, you can't force it, which I think that is what you are implying. Some men can, some can't. And just because some Christian activist tells me I'll go to hell, doesn't mean I am going to rush out and get a girl. My saying is 'If hell is a god-free place full of homosexuals, it can't be that bad.'
Finally, there's no truth to gay activists' claims that homosexuality is "normal and natural." Excuse me? Didn't you just say, and I quote; "As human beings made in the image of God, both heterosexuals and homosexuals are ascribed incomprehensible worth and value." We are normal, natural and there is nothing you can do about it! Gay men have a 1,000 percent greater risk of contracting AIDS than the general population, Several men get HIV AID'S from having unprotected sex with WOMEN! It is as common as the next STD. Yes, it is wider spread in the homosexual community, but it has been disproven that only homosexuals catch it. HIV is more contagious in men, especially if they still have thier foreskin. HIV spreads indescrimitally. It is a sad way to go and it is rude to tag it to us alone. No-one knows where it came from and it is propagander it was made by homosexuals alone. and their life expectancy is cut by up to 20 years. And many other things in this world that people take part in as a genral whole also shorten life. It is no different. In addition, new research indicates that both gays and lesbians have extremely high rates of psychiatric illness BULLSHIT! I might have issues like the next Joe on the street, but even if they were all resolved, I'd still be a homosexual, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide. Drug and alcohol abuse is a global issue, and effects everyone. Of all the people I have known with drinking problems, only 2 have been homosexual. Suicide... do you think that might come from people not accepting them because of this shit you're spouting? Child gets rejected by parent, childgets depressed, commits suicide. parent either remorses for their foolishness or doesn't. So how dare you say that, when you are the cause of it in the first place! DUH!
Sadly, many gays and lesbians themselves don't know these facts and are being kept in the dark about the true nature of homosexuality. Translation; They are something that they don't know about. Correction; Not knowing about something is a persons own lack of knowledge and responsability or a parents lack of teaching them, because they have rejected them. Even my own Mum reminds me frequently the dangers of homosexuality, but is still supportive of me and who I am. And for the record, she is a Christian.
In regard to your lesbian neighbors five miles after the question was asked, remember that what they need most is to experience Christ's love. I think they get that regardless of whether or not a member of your "god-sent" ideals is giving it to them or not. Your neighbors will be much more open to hearing your perspective (and God's truth) if you first reach out to them with love, kindness, and respect. Do you think that if you do that anyway, with or without Christ attached, that you might achieve peace? Be sensitive to the pain that may much underlying and circling of this word is implied lie just beneath the surface of their lives. These are called personal issues, and they might/not share them with you. These issues reflect more on lifes issues than the sole reason they are the way they are (which is better than being like you.)
SNIP As we discuss it, whether inside or outside the church, may we be ever mindful that we are Christ's ambassadors to get him an asprin, even he must have a headache after all this shit! to a hurting world. The world is going to hurt all the time, and from a lot more serious issues than homosexuality. May our words and actions always be "full of grace" and "seasoned with salt" I wanna be sick. While my words are polite, kind, caring and helpful, I don't sugarcoat them as such. (Colossians 4:6)
Conclusion: That was just funny. I am a homosexual. I am not into doing drugs, drinking and I am not suicidal. I do not have HIV AID's. I know I could become straight (not happening atm) and I am well aware of the dangers that come with the homosexual world (which are the same as the dangers of the straight world.) Because I am/not all of these things, what box are you going to put me in? Whichever one it is, I bet it is very roomy.
Consider this: The two women next door might already follow god. The two women might already be a part of the church. The two women don't believe in satan. Does that make them any different in your eyes? Probably not. One of my Ex-boyfriends got kicked out of church because he was a homosexual. He never did anything wrong and he was a polite person. So fill me in on why they kicked him out? Do you not go to church to be forgiven for your sins? If homosexuality is a sin, but you don't let them into the church to e forgiven, then what are they supposed to do? Oh, right, you probably didn't think of that. I'd like to finish of by asking 'Will God judge me for loving of judge you for hating?'
This is at; http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/novdec/6.30.html
A Friend Comes Out
It started out like every other lunch I'd had with my friend Ann:
SNIP: Boring details!
I'd just lifted my little round teacup to my lips when Ann looked me straight in the eye and said, "There's something I need to tell you about me."
"Sure. Shoot," I said, shrugging. What could she tell me I didn't already know? Evidently, quite a bit. After all, we'd been good friends since high school, more than a decade ago. Have you ever heard the expression 'Things Change?'
SNIP: The past, not interesting.
Ann's gaze didn't waver as I set down my teacup and leaned forward expectantly. Then she dropped the bomb. I'd prefer to think of it as she told you a truth in which she thought she could confide in you. "Marlo," she stated, her voice shaking a little, "I'm a lesbian." Boom. Just like that. You say this like it is a world issue.
"Um, uh, you're a … gulp," was my oh-so-articulate response. I am willing to bet that the first thought in her head was 'Does my friend want to get with me sexually?' Then, as I sat and stared at her, dumbstruck, the words of an old memory verse flitted through my mind: "Be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Tim. 4:2). In truth, I was anything but prepared, so I simply said "Oh," then stuffed another bite of mu shu pork in my mouth. I know it is a bit of a shock to the system, I can understand that, but I can't believe you had to chuck a 3 page worry about it.
After Ann's startling revelation, I had no clue what to say next. Something simple would have been fine. 'thats nice.' 'I'm happy for you.' whatever works is good. Should I blast her with my convictions? YOU IDIOT! She's your best friend (or so you say) and doing that would majorly betray her trust in you and really hurt her. Tell her the gay lifestyle is sinful? I have come to the conclussion that not a lot of gays really care about that. Or nod and say, "Gee, that's great," even though such words would be a lie? So why can't you make your mind more flexable and make it somewhat truthful? How would Jesus want me to respond? With the same aount of friendship and understanding you have shared with her for the last 10+ years. What would he say if he were in my place? Good luck to you my child.
So she's a lesbian. Now what?
According to Kate, a spokesperson for Grace Unlimited (a ministry that helps homosexuals leave the gay lifestyle) Correction; When homosexuals need support in changing because they can feel it changing, then yes, they ca turn to you. Do not imply homosexuals should queue out the door to be forced to change., it's important to remember that God condemns homosexual behavior, not homosexual people. So homosexuals should be celebate with chastity belts? Whatever you reckon! Because of his love for us, he prohibits behaviors he knows will harm us. Umm, have you ever actually tried buttsex, or some of the wonderful activities lesbians get up to? You would probably find it isn't as bad as you claim? So, instead of responding with disgust or condemnation, suggests Linda Schultz, who ministers to many lesbian friends, I am hoping this is a good thing/way. we need to exemplify God's love for the person.
But how can you show God's love without approving of your friend's choice? I have said it before, will say it again. Why don't you consider being approving of the behaviours. I agree they aren't for everyone, but be happy for your friend that she is being true to herself. It starts with considering your friend's needs before your own. What is she feeling? What is she going through? Good call. the selfish bitch writing to you probably never thought of that.
Today, Ann can tell me how she felt when she dropped her bombshell over mu shu pork and beef in oyster sauce. Do you really think people care about what you were eating? "I was so nervous about telling you because I knew you were involved in Christian groups," she says. I'd find it a good reason not to tell her. "Coming out to a friend can be frightening. It means exposing your deep feelings and risking rejection. I hope you realise what she is doing here! If I found out about this, I'd have a tanty with her. You didn't say very much, so I wondered if you were thinking, 'Evil bitch, you're going to hell?' 'May god smote you with a holy smite of smiting?' You're going to go to hell, but didn't say it because you were being polite." I don't think 'polite' is the best term right now. I think 'stunned' or 'devostated/revolted' is closer to the picture.
But I can't agree with her lifestyle.
According to Ann, the worst response is to say nothing. "That makes the person feel as though she has to come out again and again and again." I'm glad you know something about all this because the one thing you don't know about is Diversity on its largest and most open scale.
So instead of saying something such as, "How could you?" or "That's a sin," there were ten comandments. 'Thal shalt not have buttsex with the same gender' or 'Thal shalst not have girls with girls unless tis for extremely profitable pornography' were not in there. it's best to let the person who's coming out simply talk. Suppose thats somewhat right. She may not have had a chance to talk about this to anyone yet. And the silly girl who is wroting to you didn't really think of that. She didn't take the time to feel the honour that she was the first told, or the importance of her position in her friends life. God what disrespect.
Rather than give Ann the dumbstruck look, I should have asked questions: "How long have you been thinking about this?" "Have you told your family?" "How long have you considered yourself a lesbian?" "What factors led you to think about homosexuality?" At least she got 3/4 right. The last one is a bit of mind turner. I am a homosexual, and sometimes I might think about tits just for the amuzement of the subject. But it doesn't mean in any way that I am going to get with a girl at any point in the future. By responding with questions and being a caring listener, I not only could have exemplified God's love, Oh for the love of Goddess but earned the right to share more deeply about my relationship with Christ. What does that have to do with it?
After I'd gotten over my initial shock, I began wondering how far I should go in arguing my beliefs with Ann. How about leaving her the fuck alone about your beliefs? Can you not see past the gay side of her? She is still the friend you had, just there is one thing different. Big friggen whoop!
I had to see past the "gay" label to the real person.
According to Anita Worthen and Bob Davies, authors of Someone I Love Is Gay (IVP), "Sometimes the best argument is a loving action done in silence." I love gays, and I don't need to be silent about it. And Linda Schultz of Grace Unlimited insists we don't have to compromise our belief in Scripture's stance on the subject of homosexuality. Another word for you to look up in the dictionary, 'Accetance.' Rather, we can simply agree to disagree. What is there to disagree about? She suggests saying, "One of us is wrong. So why not let the Holy Spirit be the one to let us know who is right?" You're so right there. Will god judge homosexuals for loving or christian activists like you for hating? If I had my best friend say that to me I'd be devistated, because it was evident that they wanted me to go to hell for being myself. Why can't you people see this?
I had to see past the 'gay' label to the real person.
The important thing, asserts Kate of Grace Unlimited, is to maintain an open dialog in which both parties feel respected. "Many lesbians who've been condemned, ridiculed, or rejected by Christians turn to homosexual organizations for the support they feel they need, someone's a wakeup! thus becoming more entrenched in their beliefs and behavior," she says. You people just don't get it do you? Love, sex, and all of the things in between that occur between 'normal' relationships is something god would want us to do. Rather than see this side as a major down, see it as an up. If two guys love each other for ever, will it really make a difference? There is more love in the world.
I do, however, agree that the mass partying, drug and alcohol involvement is a little frustrating when it comes to the gay scene. I avoid it myslef as there is little/no interest for me. You need to be more specific on what it is that homosexuals and lesbians should and shouldn't do to get to heaven.
Eventually, I learned I could accept Ann's choice of lifestyle without condoning it. Congradulations! I would have thought any human being with a brain could have worked that out, but there you go. To do that, I had to see past the "gay" label to the real person. See previous comment.
To be honest, at first I found my relationship with Ann uncomfortable. To be expected. There we'd be, picking at our Chinese food, sitting in a movie theater, or hanging out at the coffee shop while I wondered how to act, what to say. Try being yourself, you silly twit! Should I mention her homosexuality? It is not all of who she is. Should I ask about her social life? Better than the last. How should I treat her girlfriend? What a ridiculous question to ask. Could I discuss what I was learning in my Bible study without her feeling as though I was condemning her? No. When it comes to issues like this, religion and sexuality should be left out. When you both agree on one or the other (or both) without any misgivings, then they become open subjects. Until then, you need to be careful with your subject matter.
I feel so uncomfortable
Meeting her girlfriend, Sue, was the most difficult. I fail to understand. They held hands. I fidgeted. They talked about a recent trip to the West Coast. I stared at my hands, the ground-anything but Sue and Ann. It isn't a porn movie or anything! But as the evening progressed, I discovered that even Sue was just another person with likes and dislikes, hobbies, hopes, and pet peeves. I am guessing it took you a few hours to work this out. What gives with the seriously delayed reactions? Being a lesbian was part of her life, not all of it. About time! She was simply a woman who needed Christ. Maybe not! Just like Ann. Last comment!
As Ann continued to see the importance of Christ and Scripture in my life, the issues of the Bible and homosexuality came up naturally, without me having to force the subject. Told you!
One day, while we sat and stirred coffee, Ann looked straight at me and said, "Marlo, why are Christians so judgmental about homosexuality?" Yes, please, tell me. I am fasinated to know! Why do I have a feeling that the answer is going to short, unfounded and basic crap?
Unlike when she first dropped the "I'm a lesbian" bomb, this time I was prepared. "It's not being judgmental," I replied. "It's having integrity. SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE it is! If I say I believe what the Bible says, I have to believe all of it, not just the parts I like, or the parts that are convenient to believe. I suppose there is truth in that. So when I read passages like Leviticus 18:22 and especially Romans 1:26-27, I have to believe the homosexual lifestyle is wrong. If I based my life on a book that said prejudus things, I think I'd kill myself or the book. If I were to say 'it's okay,' then I'd be a hypocrite, wouldn't I?" NO! You'd be doing yourself and your friend a favor.
Ann nodded. "I guess so. So, you really think being a lesbian is a sin?"
"I believe that engaging in the lesbian lifestyle is a sin, yes. But I also think that committing adultery is a sin, lusting is a sin, getting drunk is a sin, and hating someone else is a sin. In fact, we're all sinners. If we say we're not, then we're liars. But through Christ, God can forgive us. It's as simple as that." Thank you! God disagrees with homosexual lifestyle and says it is a sin, but god will forgive us in the end so we can still be sinners and in his forever merciful arms at the same time.
Ann lifted her coffee cup. "Guess I hadn't thought of it quite that way," she murmured and took a sip. I had, but a lot of the things I read and hear contradict it, so I am lost on what I am supposed to believe.
As time has passed, the answer I've found to all my questions turns out to be a simple one-just be honest. Clever cookie. Took your time though, didn't you? As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, "A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud." To quote my favorite book and movie; 'Sometimes the best remark is silence.' Memoirs of a Geisha.
Today, Ann and I both know we can share openly with each other. Sure, she knows I don't approve of her lifestyle, but she also knows I love her anyway. And that is the first step towards full acceptance. Get with the program everyone! And though our jobs have taken us to different cities, and we don't get together as often as we once did, I still haven't given up hope that Ann will accept Christ someday, too. Spoke too soon!
I continue to show Ann God's love and pray that one day she'll choose to give her life to him. If she does, I hope it is for a seriously good cause and not because she got shoved into it. And on that day, I'll be rejoicing with the angels in heaven. The Angels support both of you unconditionally. Get over it already.
Marlo Schalesky, a freelance writer, lives in California.
How to be the friend she needs.
Here are 8 tips to help you maintain a healthy relationship with your lesbian friend and steer clear of trouble: Lets see if I agree.
1. Don't become your friend's exclusive source of support. Instead, introducer her to other Christian friends. Okay, somewhat helpful, but cross the christian bt out and try again.
2. Continue to pray for your friend, but don't tell her, "I'm praying for you not to be a lesbian." Say instead, "I'm praying God will show you his best for your life." Did it ever cross your mind that he might have done so already? Also pray for God's guidance in your friendship. Better
3. Avoid arguing over political issues regarding homosexuality, or making unkind remarks or jokes that involve lesbianism-whether or not your friend's present. Keep your conversation focused on personal matters. Good call.
4. Be open about your personal relationship with Christ. What does this have to do with it? Create an atmosphere where you both feel free to share what's on your heart. This was all you had to see sweetie!
5. Make sure your friend clearly understands you stance regarding homosexuality and your unconditional love for her. Make the latter more clear to her, it will make her feel better. She needs to know that even though you disagree with her lifestyle, you still care for her.
6. Be honest about your own struggles. good call. Don't feel as if your life needs to appear "perfect" in order to attract your friend to Christ. URG!
7. Don't make homosexuality the primary point of your conversations, but don't avoid the subject if it comes up. You said that already!
8. Educate yourself regarding homosexuality. If you are going to do that, I suggest doing it aay from these websites.
All this was at:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/1999/sepoct/9w5048.html
When Homosexuality Hits Home (Unsporked.)
SNIP: Intro. She hates gays because one treated her oddly at her work. Big deal! Introduces the family, Husband Older son (Rick) and Younger Son (Tim)
But one night seven years later, I feared for my life in the throes of my husband's drunken rage. Yes, that is perfectly reasonable. The next day I confronted him. I couldn't live with his drinking problem any longer, and I urged him to seek help. Instead, he moved out. I suppose that is six and one-half dozen of the other. I wouldn't know from experience. Several months later, he divorced me. To pay off our debts, I sold our home, moved into an apartment, and started rebuilding my life. I'd been through hell and survived. Nothing would ever again shake me like that. Sadly, that isn't true.
The end of our thirty-year marriage created an upheaval in my sons' lives. Rick and his wife divorced about a year later. Tim abandoned college and joined the U.S. Marine Corps, going first to San Diego, then to Saudi Arabia and Kuwait during the Persian Gulf War. I prayed for his safety, not knowing a greater battle in spiritual warfare awaited his return. For the love of Goddess! After his discharge in May, 1991, Tim remained in San Diego.
Then, on January 3, 1992, an emotional earthquake shattered my world. The pages of Tim's letter trembled in my hand as I read: "My sexual orientation has bothered me since I was twelve. Natural. Please, Mom, listen to me. If you think she will. I feel a strong attraction for men. I understand how you must feel . …"
Coffee splashed as I slammed my cup on the table and threw down the letter. No, Tim couldn't possibly understand, or he'd never have written this. Who do you think has the greater problem? You dealing with it or him living with it, knowing he is not going to fit in as well in society? Think about it for two minutes. I lurched up from the sofa, his words scorching my mind.
" … I am who I am, and it's taken me thirteen years to be able to accept this. … " Good for you. Too bad your Mother doesn't accept/appreciate the struggle you have gone through.
Thirteen years? No. No, I'd have known. Not totally true. What about his girlfriends in high school and college? Here we go again. Have you ever heard of the term 'experimenting sexually?' or 'Discovering one's self?' How could he be gay? Quite easily. What happened? Where had I failed? You didn't fail. You would have if all of your kids were gay. Don't get your panties in a twist. Accordingly, you have three grandchildren, so don't worry bout it. Parents don't fail when their children come out. More importantly, children succeed when they come out.
I fell to my knees sobbing. Then pulling myself off the floor, I grabbed my keys, snatched up Tim's letter, and ran to my car, taking off in the winter night. I understand that when someone gets really shaken like this, the need for immediute action jumps into play. But sadly, it will do little to help the situation.
SNIP: Nearly has car accident, pulls over, takes a chill pill and then thinks. Okay, Lord, I give up. What do you want me to do? Switching on the map light, I picked up Tim's letter. This time I heard his pain: "I feel alone. I'm so afraid of my family rejecting me. … You're still my mom, and I still love you. I always will." And it took her all this time to realise her child is hurting. But evidently, that doesn't matter in comparrison to your own beliefs.
I had to hear Tim's voice, so I drove back to my apartment and dialed his number. When Tim answered, tears flooded my eyes. I told him I loved him, no matter what. Better than nothing I guess. But, I said, homosexuality is a sin. Do you really think he needs to hear this? 'Mum, I feel alone and scared about who I am and I need your help. 'You're a sinner.' Yeah. What a wonderful conversation. "You're not alone, Tim. I'm here and Jesus is too. URG! God loves you. Remember Romans 8:38-39? What does this have to do with it? People should be able to come out of their shell without listening to this. It is most likely the last thing they want to know. Nothing can separate you from God's love in Christ Jesus. Thank you. I've been waiting so long to hear a Christian of any level say this. But you must renounce this lifestyle." Spoke too soon. What, shoud son become celibute and repress his sexual desire? Should he not love? Should he not be allowed to have a loving relationship with another man? I'd rather die than put up with a lifetime without someone to love me as only a partneer can.
Tim sobbed, unable to speak. After a few moments I said, "I'll call you tomorrow. I love you, Tim." I suppose it is a better start than rejecting him. Sorrow filled my heart as I hung up.
Over the next few weeks, we talked on the phone or through letters. I needed answers. "Tim, why? Because that is who he is. Was it the war? I'd like to hear some logic behind that one. Did something happen over there? Same answer. Or when you were little?" That can have something to do with it.
Eventually, he opened up. "Remember the older boy in my third grade class? The bully?" Tim said. "Well, he cornered me one day after school--" his voice broke. "After that, he told everyone I was a fag. Nobody wanted to be around me." And that should be proof, more than anything else to anyone, what a hard time we can have. People live in uncontrolled fear. We don't use homosexuality to push people around, but people move because they don't understand us or misjudge us.
He told me of a couple more childhood incidents when older boys had threatened or bribed him into cooperating with their sexual indulgences. Then came another shock. Okay, it is possible that a sexual assault on a younger person, regardless of the age of the offender, can have subsequent effect. When a younger person is sexually offended against, then his/her psychological clock is set into motion too early. They become confused and unsure.There are two possible end results. 1) The child becomes a homosexual. 2)The child becomes homophobic. This will stay with them the rest of their lives. Even if they understand the issues that were inflicted upon them, it doesn't change anything. It is wrong of the offender, and it is also a bad way to make things work in life.
"Did I ever tell you about the time Dad took me to a gay community in Massachusetts right before I joined the Marines?" This'll be really off-putting.
The phone turned to lead in my hand. "No," I whispered.
"It was a business trip. When the business was done, that's where we went, to a town on Cape Cod. It's a gay community." He paused. "Well, maybe you didn't know. You guys weren't divorced yet, but Dad had moved out."
As Tim described the incident, it became clear his father had been to this place before. My heart raced. "Did anything happen? I mean--"
"No, Mom, nothing happened. Dad wanted to go to this gay bar. He laughed and joked with these guys. I kept my eyes glued to the TV and didn't talk to anybody. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to die." Bitterness laced his words. "I don't think I've ever come so close to hating him." Now, I don't really have much to say on this issue, but here we go. When exposed to the homosexual world, especially at a young age where confusion can still be at work, it is hard to determine what is right and wrong when it comes to sexuality. Now, there is fault with the Father in this situation. He should have talked to his son and told him about where they were going, what to expect, it is normal and so on. Not doing so can have a major effect on the child.
I recalled other business trips when Tim was nine or ten. So this happened during/shortly after the assults on him. That was useful. At the time, I was pleased my husband was spending time with this younger son. Did something happen then? I won't harp on about it, but there is a huge difference between Child Molesters and Homosexuals. I tried to question Tim, but he refused to talk about it. He didn't remember. He thought he'd had a happy childhood. I let it go. Probably for the better.
As the weeks went by, I felt ashamed and afraid. My prayers seemed inadequate. There is always a master plan, so don't expect a quick fix honey. Desperate, I called my dear friend Dory, a nurse. Her nonjudgmental, no-nonsense voice offered strength. Friends are really good for doing that. She told me about Barbara Johnson's book, Where Does a Mother Go to Resign? I read it and called Barbara. This dynamic woman shared hope, encouragement, and the names of two other women in similar circumstances. I wasn't alone. I know it is always hard to believe when you are struggling, but you are never alone. Someone, somewhere, is facing the same issues as you (give or take certain circumstances) and it just takes a moment of thought to know tou aren't the only suffering soul in this world.
I learned about Exodus International, a worldwide Christian ministry dedicated to helping men and women who want to overcome homosexuality and turn to Christ. I know these places exist, and I have been over this point earlier. If they offered people help in moving from one to the other WHEN THE CHANGE IS HAPPENING then I'd be okay with that, but the problem is that homosexuals become scared of the people that hate them, and repress themselves just to get into society. Please, someone help me and them. From Exodus, I received the names of two Christian men in San Diego who had renounced homosexuality and were available to counsel others. Excited, I called Tim with the good news, convinced he would grab this opportunity to be free from bondage. Excuse me? While yes, bondage is a type of sexual activity some enjoy, homosexuality is not binding, nor is it constrictive. It is actually rather freeing. I was wrong. He said he wasn't in bondage. Good for him! He didn't want to be free from homosexuality. Correction: He wanted to be a homosexual because it was what he was comfortable with. He said he was born this way, and Jesus knew. YES! THANK YOU TIM! You have said exactly what I think. Jesus and God know who we are, what we are and he is happy that we are this way. He made us this way, and I don't think he will be too unhappy if we follow our lives as lawfully and happily as we can. jesus and God don't have emo fits when guys have buttsex and they don't think homosexuality is wrong. Why? Because it is the gift of equality. God gave us the diversity to understand it, and the knowledge to be at peace about it.
How could he be so deceived? Oh wake up! He is happy. Shouldn't that be all that matters? From the beginning, I'd taught him about Jesus, whom he had invited into his life at the age of five. And Jesus is still there, still helping him and guiding him, just not awy from homosexuality, but down the life path that was set for him, whether homosexuality is included or not.
Through the years, I'd had no inkling something was wrong. probably because (aside from the sexual assaults) there wasn't anything wrong. Did Tim ever hint at trouble? Did I really listen? Were there dark secrets in our household? I don't know. I really wish you would tone this down honey, it isn't that bad.
After Tim's letter in 1992, I regarded my adult son as a victim. He is a victim of sexual offense, but not of homosexuality. "They" had caught and trapped him. The sexual offenders: yes. Homosexuals: No. "They" were faceless, nameless, evil people. Homosexuals. Enemies. Let me think about this for a second. I am someone who is homosexual, would give up my time to help people with no thought of reward, would stop what I was doing if a close friend was destrissed. I don't hurt people, I don't force people and I certainly don't spend my time belittling people to do what I want them to. I believe in God in a certain level, I believe Jesus was a real person on this earth. I dont believe in this pointless war of human rights and I don't believe that we deserve a hard time by narrow-minded homophobic men who don't understand. Why am I evil again?
But God wasn't finished with me yet. I suppose that is good. That spring, Tim brought a friend home-a homosexual. The enemy had arrived on my doorstep trying to be accepted and be your friend. I was tense but quickly realized Tim's friend was even more nervous. She's a wake up. I sensed his fear of rejection. Mothering instincts surged, and my heart reached out to him. He wasn't an enemy-he was a wounded soul. She finally pulled things together on that level. I suppose it can only get better.
My quiet times with the Lord changed from selfish pain and anger to genuine grief for Tim and others like him. And this is what I would hope all Christians would understand. Satan blinds them to the truth and deceives them. I really should keep reading before I type my thoughts.
The change in my attitude toward homosexuals was tested in my workplace where some of my colleagues apparently are gay or bisexual; I no longer avoid them. This makes for a more effective and friendly office. Now expand this to a world wide level. Do you not see how this might make the world a happier place if we all accepted homosexuality? They're real people, just like me. Five points to you dear. The Lord's softened my heart, and I've learned to hate the sin while I love, or at least care for, the sinner. Fice points off you. Homosexuality is not a sin. there is nothing in the seriously seriously old versions of the bible that say homosexuality is a sin. I am sure that the up-to-date versions are flooded with it, but we all know what I think about that.
Tim often brings homosexual friends when he comes to visit me and my new husband, Chuck. He once told me, "You guys are living proof to my friends that heterosexual marriage can work." Perhaps he, too, is seeking proof-and hope-for himself.
When Chuck proposed a few years ago, I told him about Tim and about my commitment to the Lord to be available to Tim and his friends. Chuck regards Tim as his own son and together we've opened our home to these wounded souls, many of whom have been rejected by parents and siblings. She has all the peices in front of her (say for a few) so why is the most important link missing? Tim never asks to stay overnight when he has a companion. Their conduct is above reproach in our home. that I can agree with. It would be rude to have someone over you could potentially bonk while at someone else's house. Often an arrogant attitude masks their pain or expresses their dislike for the Christians who have shunned them, but it soon dissolves. Some of them jokingly call me Mom. Cute!
If the opportunity arrives to present the gospel, I do, usually in the form of my own testimony. Oh Lord. This opens the door for them to express their views of Christianity. I hear anger. These young men say they've been rejected by their own churches and therefore, they imply, by God. Church: Yes. God: No. I never believe that A/any god leves someone behind, even if they deserve it. They've turned their backs and buried themselves in resentment and fear. I wonder who else this might reflect?
How can we reach these hardened hearts? For me, evangelism begins with friendship. I am one small part of God's whole plan-perhaps I can plant one tiny seed, and the next one will plant the garden, and others will nourish it. This would be a step up from the Exodus Foundation thingy. Instead of turning gays, it supports them. I hope this plan goes well. As I write, Tim seems resigned to being homosexual, but he gives clues that he's not a practicing homosexual. It's a fine line of distinction, perhaps even a rationalization. Only God knows the heart (1 Kings 8:39). Jesus, Tim says, is his best friend. I believe him. But I also know Jesus is more than a friend-he is the Savior and Lord. God heard that five year old's prayer inviting Jesus into his life. Even if Tim has strayed away, God hasn't moved. So why are you and a few hundred other Christians the only ones to see this? He'll be there when Tim chooses to resist the devil and listen to the Holy Spirit. Did everything you type just completely bypass you? He accepts God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and so on. Satan can't touch someone who has befriended Jesus because Jesus protects them. He has turned to them so therefore, Satan has no power over Tim. If he is not a practicing homosexual (which I doubt) then he not sinning, and is therefore not a sinner and is not engaging in the sin. Do I have to spell this out for you? You must be more than twice my age.
My heart still hurts. So heal it. My son's life is far from happy, his future uncertain. I am a homosexual, and my future is ahead of me. Becquse I am who I am doesn't change it. What you are failing to see is that homosexuals have a hard time, and people use it as a good excuse to reject them. The New King James version of Psalms 56:8 says God puts my tears in his bottle. My hope rests with the Lord. "They will return from the land of the enemy [Satan] . …Your children will return to their own land" What if they are living in their land right now and you just don't realize it? (Jer. 31:16-17). In the meantime, God has called me to pray for and love Tim, and to be available. You say that like he isn't your son.
Conclusion: On the spectrum of good and bad, this thing jumps all over the place like a kid on red and green cordial. The day Christians except homosexuals as people, not devils, is a long way off. When that day comes, I think it will be the first time in a long time that God is relieved at the peace that is made.
When I reflect on a lot of my own Christian teachings and a lot of the things I learned in Sunday School, I look at this and wonder where it all went. Was I taught lies? Were these things designed to blind me to the real darkness in the world? How can I believe them now? In comparison to todays new world, I guess I was taught nothing but sugar-coatings for what really is. Tell me where these sayings went? (Don't have bible referances.) These were the things I was taught to live by.
'Love thy neighbor.'
'God made all, God loves all.'
'Believe in god and he shall deliver you from evil'
'Peace be among us.'
'God died for our sins.'
'Go to church and be forgiven for the things you have done wrong.'
'God will never leave you.'
Where does all that go when our personal fears and beliefs are threatened? Out the door as I have noticed. I was brought up to believe that Christians were the forgivers, who never hated anyone for who they were, and never judged because the person would be forgiven. I think God ment for all of this and more, but evidently the people he sent to do his work and make things right in this world decided that it wasn't good enough to follow. I understand that people have their own preferences, fears, understandings and so on, but the end result is that no one in this world is truely right or wrong. I am not fully right here. Neither are the people who I am dealing with. So why do Christians, more blind-sighted than any sinners I know, think they can control others?
Well, I think I have made my point. Look out for the next session; The War Continues.
All this was at: http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/1997/novdec/7w6046.html?gclid=CLiE-ert9IwCFRqfYAodPQ0Z_A&start=1