Two strides forward, one step back.

[shihadchick]

Ugh, you guys, I've been home like an hour and I am still stewing.

Comments

[mrsquizzical]

for what it's worth i think you handled that just right. you called them on it, but then realised it wasn't going to 'get through' right then so you chose discretion as the better part of valour. and who knows. maybe that was one little thought they'll (or at least one of them will?) hear somewhere else and it will click for them and they'll be 'oh! that's what that terribly firm but polite person at the hockey was referring to!' (see how much benign intent i'm assigning them? :P )

I genuinely, gut-deep do not GET how someone can be in that situation and NOT have that crushing, awful, insides-collapsing moment of "oh my god did I just do something awful??" when called out on it. Like, even if you didn't. How do you not stop to consider the possibility?

fucking THIS! yes! *hands*

also hugs for the shaky part, duder. i hate that. happens to me and it SUUUCKS. like, if i'd just rescued a kitten from under a bus or something, then fair enough, but just speaking a few words? DDD:<

*sigh*

[shihadchick]

Gosh, I really hope so. I said to Cat over on DW, I hope it sticks and niggles and they do realise eventually, at least. Eurgh.

And ugh, right? Like. How is that even remotely evolutionarily useful?! Heh.

[wootsauce]

"look at my shirt. now look at me. now look at my shirt. now go fuck yourself."

you're completely fucking awesome. FUCK THOSE JERKS.

[shihadchick]

man, I wish I could be enough of an asshole to ACTUALLY say something like that some day. heh. but i'd rather go with the approach that has a snowflake's chance in hell of the other person maybe realising they're wrong instead of just being angry back. heh.

&you;

[wootsauce]

yeah, word. I tend to try to squash people like bugs through awesomeness, rather than just punching them into space. as satisfyingly awesome as imaigning you actually saying that was.

[shihadchick]

I rather desperately wanted to encourage her to try to be more creative when she was yelling abuse at people instead, but I didn't like my odds of being able to succintly explain why that could be a good idea for many reasons, heh. Oyyy.

[the_antichris]

o not GET how someone can be in that situation and NOT have that crushing, awful, insides-collapsing moment of "oh my god did I just do something awful??"

I think they don't like that feeling so they've arranged not to have it and to be automatically defensive and self-righteous instead. /cynical But, as mrsquizzical says, hopefully one day they'll grow up and learn something and you will have been one of the straws in the pile that eventually makes the camel a better person. <333

[shihadchick]

Your cynicism seems terribly plausible, indeed. :/

And gosh, I hope so. Also, for the record, "one of the straws in the pile that eventually makes the camel a better person" is ABSOLUTELY one of the best sentences I have read all week. *giggles like mad*

[antigone_ks]

I suspect you're right. There are so many people whose default is "NO U" to even the most innocuous thing.

[sunsetmog]

I think it's great - and really brave - that you said something, bb, despite the stress and the fact that they didn't realise they'd been offensive. Maybe one day in the future they'll have a moment of terrifying, hideous embarrassment when they look back? <3

[shihadchick]

Oh man, I really hope so. I just- I don't want to be all "hey, I did a tiny thing, give me cookies, internet!" or anything, but I was so cranky I had to complain to people who I know are on the side of Not Being an Asshole. &youuuuuuuuuuuuuu;

[dynamicsymmetry]

Maybe it wasn't the right battle to pick--I don't know, because maybe it was--but regardless, you are so goddamn awesome for saying something. And man do I feel you on the shakes. I've stopped calling people out in public for any shit like that anymore because I hate how it makes me feel afterward.

but as far as this goes: I genuinely, gut-deep do not GET how someone can be in that situation and NOT have that crushing, awful, insides-collapsing moment of "oh my god did I just do something awful??" when called out on it, I don't think we can say for sure that they didn't have just that feeling, and that's why they reacted the way they did. Because the brushing-off-of-you and then the taunting afterward feel to me like the behavior of people who suspect, deep down, that they may have been wrong, and who are deeply bothered by the idea so they're covering for it

[indierockbird]

I agree with everything stated within this comment. I also agree with choice of icon.

<3

[shihadchick]

♥

[shihadchick]

That icon IS excellent.

And yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with having said something -- I would feel far, far worse if I had not done so, I know that much -- I just wish I was better at short effective 101-ing of people. :/

You do make a very good point, yeah. Gosh, I really do hope they think about it more still.

♥