I am SO NOT OKAY with this!
Wow, so I need to get changed like five minutes ago and run out to pub quiz already, but. First, let me tell you a story. A story called the Brave Little Toaster-Using Fangirl.
Yes, so. I had all these virtuous plans to have toast for lunch - as, indeed, I had had toast for morning tea (albeit with a packet of rashuns too) - and then have bought-and-less-than-optimally-healthy food for dinner at pub quiz. These plans got scotched somewhat dramatically this afternoon when I finally managed to find time for lunch (half one-ish), and the upshot is that now? We're getting a new toaster.
For those of you who are thinking that this story ends with "because I accidently set it on fire", well... okay, I admit it, normally you would be right. But the actual reason is that when I pressed the button to drop my toast down?
A BIG BLACK MOUSE JUMPED OUT OF THE TOASTER PAST MY BREAD, HIT MY ARM, AND RAN INTO THE WINDOW FRAME.
I hate to conform to gender stereotyping, but yeah, I totally jumped and did the muffled shriek thing, though it was really much more of a startle reflex than because it was a mouse in particular. I can handle mice - on the ground/outside! - and rats and spiders and bugs, that's fine, I am used to that, but FURRY DISEASED THINGS jumping out of the TOASTER? (That I used to use EVERY DAY? *weeps*) NO THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH.
So my boss got greeted with, as he walked in the door this afternoon, "Hi, [Boss], can we get a new toaster? And a cat?" He cracked up. And said yes to the first, at least, which is good, because I am never using that toaster again EVER. The only reason it's not one of the grossest things I've ever seen is because, well, there was that incident with the decomposing sheep in the drainage pipe. And the time sheep were jumping off a cliff out the back of the pit. And the time we found half a mouse in the photocopier drum. Uh. Yes. Hi, my workplace apparently encourages Darwinism among the local animals?
Yes, so. I had all these virtuous plans to have toast for lunch - as, indeed, I had had toast for morning tea (albeit with a packet of rashuns too) - and then have bought-and-less-than-optimally-healthy food for dinner at pub quiz. These plans got scotched somewhat dramatically this afternoon when I finally managed to find time for lunch (half one-ish), and the upshot is that now? We're getting a new toaster.
For those of you who are thinking that this story ends with "because I accidently set it on fire", well... okay, I admit it, normally you would be right. But the actual reason is that when I pressed the button to drop my toast down?
A BIG BLACK MOUSE JUMPED OUT OF THE TOASTER PAST MY BREAD, HIT MY ARM, AND RAN INTO THE WINDOW FRAME.
I hate to conform to gender stereotyping, but yeah, I totally jumped and did the muffled shriek thing, though it was really much more of a startle reflex than because it was a mouse in particular. I can handle mice - on the ground/outside! - and rats and spiders and bugs, that's fine, I am used to that, but FURRY DISEASED THINGS jumping out of the TOASTER? (That I used to use EVERY DAY? *weeps*) NO THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH.
So my boss got greeted with, as he walked in the door this afternoon, "Hi, [Boss], can we get a new toaster? And a cat?" He cracked up. And said yes to the first, at least, which is good, because I am never using that toaster again EVER. The only reason it's not one of the grossest things I've ever seen is because, well, there was that incident with the decomposing sheep in the drainage pipe. And the time sheep were jumping off a cliff out the back of the pit. And the time we found half a mouse in the photocopier drum. Uh. Yes. Hi, my workplace apparently encourages Darwinism among the local animals?