(no subject)
Jeff: Should call it "ticketbitch"
Claire: ticketbastard is the usual sobriquet, i think.
Emma: but i think we can be open to suggestions, guys
Emma: ticketnotpants
Jeff: ticketoff
Claire and Matt in unison: ticketwankers.
Jeff: ticketcross.
ticketflustered.
Emma: ticketfasterthanaSNAIL
Matt: ticketshittywebhostwhatthefuckaretheythinking
Claire: ticketslowerthanintellectualtortoise!
Jeff: ticketJUSTGIVEMEWHATIWANTANDNOONEGETSHURT
Jeff: bullet the hard drive
Matt: ticketretard
Jeff: 'when the websites ripped open, logger puring through the gaping wound...and I can see them clicking on their refresh buttons, slapping them down..."
Claire: fuuuck. mel's getting through. how the hell?
Jeff: Bribery and short skirts. I knew I should have warn a low-cut top!
Claire: urge to stab ticketmaster... rising...
Emma: I'll set up an effigy out back and burn it in your honour
Jeff: I want winged monkeys. this would totally work if i had winged monkeys
Claire: oh dude, i vote we try and take down the phone network. we can do it! [it's funny because this nearly happened, apparently]
Emma: let's sit on tree stumps in complaint
Claire: we could stage a cultural sit in protest at Ericsson!
Matt: THEY CRASHED THE POST OFFICE?
Claire: Frog here has had a great idea. e veryone who has been dicked over by TicketMaster should buy some lube, mail it to them with the note "so we can ENJOY IT next time". imagine if millions of us did it. it would rule.
Emma: ARGH MY BROTHER IS PLAYING MY HERT WILL GO ON ON THE PIANO
Matt: DETH
Claire: ...that's salt on an open wound
Claire: MY MUM GOT FOUR GAS!!
Jeff: Where does your mum live?
Emma: jeff!
Matt: Jeeeeff!
Claire: Auckland
Jeff: she single?
Matt: JEEEEEEEEFFF!
Emma: JEFFERY!
Jeff: sorry.
[it has to be said I didn't actually see this exchange until I read the transcript. HEE.]
Matt: Don't you wish it was a little ticketfaster?
Emma: i'm going to cut off its ticketweeny
Claire: and feed it to the ticketpiranhas?
Matt: They are ticketdastardly
Matt: Hmm, yes, on a nice bed of ticketpasta
Jeff: i'm gonna play mt ticketblaster
Emma: tickethasta la vista baby
Jeff: ticketrasta, mon
Emma: you're ticketcustard mate
Matt: When I'm through with them, they'll be in a full-body ticketcast-a.
Emma: in the opinion polls, they're ticketlast-a
Jeff: lets go out and get ticketplastered
Matt: Everyone is ticketaghast-a
Jeff: i believed i the internet.
THERE IS NO SERVER CLAUS!
Emma: EFTPOS IS DOWN!
Claire: ... really? WOW.
Emma: I love u2 so much.
Claire: goddamnit. this is going to time me out in a second. i keel them on their bike.
Emma: i steal their bike and put it on trademe
Claire: i like that plan also.
Jeff: i cut the brake lines on their bike and when they try I put up a message saying "sorry, your brakes cannot activate at this time due to overloading. Please try again later"
Claire: you are officially my favourite person ever.
Jeff: Oh! Ticketmaster
How I want a u2 seat
fuck your damn server
Jeff: a haiku by Jeff
Matt: Is it just me, or does singing "Oh Ticketmaster! Oh Ticketmaster! How I want a U2 seat!" to the tune of La Cucaracha have a certain appeal?
Jeff: I guess we're only ticket padawans.
Matt: Our ticket-fu is weak
Jeff: you hear that sound, mr anderson? that is...inevitability
Emma: your ticketmojo
Claire: it just hasn't had time to fully develop yet! whereas Emma and I have at least been able to hone our ticketmaster experiences to the fine edge of triply folded toledo steel strength disillusionment!
Emma: welcome to the world of ticketmaster guys
Matt: ticketDISASTER you mean lol!
Emma: *jives the F5*
Emma: *cracks up* Apparently Ticketmaster are using Still Haven't Found as their on-hold music.
Claire: oh that's just cruel.
Jeff: So cruel.
Jeff: What, do they think we'l wait until the end of the world?
-Well, maybe if you wear that velvet dress they'll let you in.
-We'll have tickets in a ittle while
-Please
Emma: We are old and cynical.
Claire: we are bitter old ticket queens.
Jeff: do you feel loved?
-they're already gone
Claire: we were up with the sun
Jeff: ticketmaster moves in mysterious ways
Emma: Monday morning, a date for the 18th may be dawning
Jeff: i feel numb
Claire: we were trying to throw our money through the door
Jeff: i will follow
Matt: with or without tickets
Jeff: log me, link me, book me, bill me
Jeff: stuck in a website that you cant get out of
Claire: Jeff the God of TicketDisasters!
Emma: The U2 fan I believe in isn't short of cash, mister. (I believe that was coined by Matt)
Jeff: if god will send me tickets
Emma: We sure could use some here right now
Claire: and tickets... are not the easy thing, the only tickets you can buy are all that you find, on trademe...
Emma: I threw a brick through TM's window and took out the CEO
Claire: I had the feeling it was out of GA, I had big ideas, but they were out of GA...
Jeff: pay - on the website you frown; pay - with the tickets i found PAAAAAY, then the night would be enough...
-Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same? Will it make it easier on you now that you've got ticketmaster to blame?
-Yes there's one show
-One night.
-But you can't log on to book them online
Claire: we'll see them again, when the stars fall from the sky, and the wrath of U2 fans is running red, on One Tree Hill
Matt: Would it be fair to say you are feeling a little PO'd right now? [nearly everyone who lined up at Post Offices who are a TM outlet in NZ missed out on tickets. We've been refering to "POs" all day, thus the funny.]
Emma: Lets' fill the streets of Chch with anger-fueled synchronised dance numbers like on Billy Elliot
Jeff: let's hold an impromput concert of our own on the roof of a store.
Matt: Where The Fans Have No GAs
Jeff: "Will improvise for U2 tickets"
Claire: [talking about trademe, ie the NZ version of eBay] there are also apparently 'tissues for weeping U2 fans' up for a quarter million. trade me amuses me.
Matt: Hmm... "Ask the seller a question"?
-How about "Who the FUCK do you think you are?"
-Like, starting bid of $250?
Claire: yeah, exactly. there is no way that's on the level. bastards.
Emma: "b-b-b-ut I failed maths! and i bort tickets cos i thort i had 7 friends who were going but then they all suddinly cancelled and don't blaim me i'm a victom here."
[for reference, the last time we checked there were already 300 + ticket listings on trademe. Filthy.]
Claire: i think we should start listing things like "Scalper Smiting Hammer for U2 fans" and "Swords of Vengeance for Vertigo 06" on trademe
Emma: I'll photoshop up some babies now
Emma: okey, what's a weapon I can search for with the view of u2-ifying?
Claire: a frisbee! for frisbeetarianism decapitation!
Emma: great!
Matt: A Utrebuchet?