your magdalena
you send me a picture of her--blurry--facing the sun glaring into the lens. the body of the email reads only "sigh. my magdalena."
i get angry, because immediately i know who it is. the girl you gabbed about while you laid in my arms. telling me about how hot she was. and how her creativity is like her sexuality. with your arms around me.
when will you get it?
i. don't. fucking. care.
leave me alone.
just do me the favor and get it over with. rip the band-aid off, taking the hair with it.
replace me with her.
because she is everything that i am and everything that i am not.
she's exactly what you're looking for. and she's more available than i am.
well, i'm sorry. i'm not going to stop my life just so you can catch up.
so just leave me alone.
because i can't be the one to walk away.
because i remember more than you do.
i remember that day we sat on the couch, my legs across your lap, your thumb caressing my knee in a way that was nothing short of intimate.
and i remember later that evening. when you laid in my bed with me, your body against mine, your fingers caressing my shoulders in a way that was nothing short of intimate.
and i remember when you got drunk and pulled me on your lap and kissed my shoulder in a way that was nothing short of intimate.
and each time, when the morning came, i was your sister again.
you can't have your cake and eat it too.
so just leave me alone.
i get angry, because immediately i know who it is. the girl you gabbed about while you laid in my arms. telling me about how hot she was. and how her creativity is like her sexuality. with your arms around me.
when will you get it?
i. don't. fucking. care.
leave me alone.
just do me the favor and get it over with. rip the band-aid off, taking the hair with it.
replace me with her.
because she is everything that i am and everything that i am not.
she's exactly what you're looking for. and she's more available than i am.
well, i'm sorry. i'm not going to stop my life just so you can catch up.
so just leave me alone.
because i can't be the one to walk away.
because i remember more than you do.
i remember that day we sat on the couch, my legs across your lap, your thumb caressing my knee in a way that was nothing short of intimate.
and i remember later that evening. when you laid in my bed with me, your body against mine, your fingers caressing my shoulders in a way that was nothing short of intimate.
and i remember when you got drunk and pulled me on your lap and kissed my shoulder in a way that was nothing short of intimate.
and each time, when the morning came, i was your sister again.
you can't have your cake and eat it too.
so just leave me alone.