To My Loyal Fans
Dear Fans,
I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for constantly badgering to list a new entry. You seem to have felt that my journal was lacking because I haven't written anything in only a little under a year. Well I'm back, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy this pre-humus piece of prose.
I'll make this a rambling piece just so we can get the jitters out of my system and get me back on track. I am kind of rusty so where can I start...Ah jello molds: Who ever decided that fancy jello should look like a dilapidated pumpkin? And who thought grinding up horse hooves would make a jiggly treat? And why do we drink milk? To quote Bill Watterson, who first said "I think I'll drink whatever come outta these things when I squeeze 'em!" Plus the human digestive system isn't in sync with evolution yet. Ironincally, N' Sync hasn't been eliminated by survival of the fittest yet, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China? And what is the price of tea in China? And coffee? Do Chinese women really shuffle around like that or do they just like it when tourists chase them? They scatter like retarded ducks! Why is it women can be nice to your face and then go and say the exact opposite to their "best" friend two seconds later? Why are my gripes always about girls? Because they suck? Not often enough my friend. Superman is the worst superhero ever created, and Lex Luger is the worst wrestler to ever hit the mat. Van Wilder is the word of, well not God, but one of his top angel people, sent directly to Earth, Fed-Ex style. Why are postman crazy? Are the all descendants of Ben Franklin? Is a penny saved really a penny earned? Or is it more beneficial to flick one at a person you don't like? What's the Haitian exchange rate? Do Hatians hate us as much as the French, or are the French just bitter because they are the cause of all the world's major problems? Germany wouldn't have invaded them if they weren't such pricks. Not that I'm defending Hitler, he was a prick too, and a fag if you consider the fact that he was quite fond of the Icecapades. Sometimes he dressed up in a corsett and tried to seduce the Gestapo. Did I mention that the French did absolutely nothing historical until the US existed to save them? We should drop a nuke on them and raid their chesse supply. Where am I going with this? To the Batcave of course. Or at least the Justice League. If they're closed I could always swing over to the Honker Burger for a Beet Salad or to the Four Leaf Clover Mall for a quick game of bag the Nematoad? What was the best game for Sega Genesis? Quackshot, featuring Donald Duck! He didn't make to many feature films after they caught him in that snuff film on the internet. Poor Daisy! Listen, if you need me, I'll be in the fridge. C'mon shake.
Thank You Thank You Thank You!
"Five Minutes in the MInd of Shib" has been brought to you by our sponser: Delta Iota Kappa (DIK)
I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for constantly badgering to list a new entry. You seem to have felt that my journal was lacking because I haven't written anything in only a little under a year. Well I'm back, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy this pre-humus piece of prose.
I'll make this a rambling piece just so we can get the jitters out of my system and get me back on track. I am kind of rusty so where can I start...Ah jello molds: Who ever decided that fancy jello should look like a dilapidated pumpkin? And who thought grinding up horse hooves would make a jiggly treat? And why do we drink milk? To quote Bill Watterson, who first said "I think I'll drink whatever come outta these things when I squeeze 'em!" Plus the human digestive system isn't in sync with evolution yet. Ironincally, N' Sync hasn't been eliminated by survival of the fittest yet, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China? And what is the price of tea in China? And coffee? Do Chinese women really shuffle around like that or do they just like it when tourists chase them? They scatter like retarded ducks! Why is it women can be nice to your face and then go and say the exact opposite to their "best" friend two seconds later? Why are my gripes always about girls? Because they suck? Not often enough my friend. Superman is the worst superhero ever created, and Lex Luger is the worst wrestler to ever hit the mat. Van Wilder is the word of, well not God, but one of his top angel people, sent directly to Earth, Fed-Ex style. Why are postman crazy? Are the all descendants of Ben Franklin? Is a penny saved really a penny earned? Or is it more beneficial to flick one at a person you don't like? What's the Haitian exchange rate? Do Hatians hate us as much as the French, or are the French just bitter because they are the cause of all the world's major problems? Germany wouldn't have invaded them if they weren't such pricks. Not that I'm defending Hitler, he was a prick too, and a fag if you consider the fact that he was quite fond of the Icecapades. Sometimes he dressed up in a corsett and tried to seduce the Gestapo. Did I mention that the French did absolutely nothing historical until the US existed to save them? We should drop a nuke on them and raid their chesse supply. Where am I going with this? To the Batcave of course. Or at least the Justice League. If they're closed I could always swing over to the Honker Burger for a Beet Salad or to the Four Leaf Clover Mall for a quick game of bag the Nematoad? What was the best game for Sega Genesis? Quackshot, featuring Donald Duck! He didn't make to many feature films after they caught him in that snuff film on the internet. Poor Daisy! Listen, if you need me, I'll be in the fridge. C'mon shake.
Thank You Thank You Thank You!
"Five Minutes in the MInd of Shib" has been brought to you by our sponser: Delta Iota Kappa (DIK)