(no subject)
i'm not up to driving over to lockmar and sneaking taylor out tonight. i don't know why, i usually always am. i wish he were allowed to call me so i could have told him i didnt want to. i cant even think of a good reason. its not the drive, really. it's just the stressyness of tip-toeing through his yard to his window and worrying and then having to get him back by a certain time. and it's dark all the way there and around his house, and it's quiet, and it's cold against my skin, and everything is timed, and it's a bad feeling. i feel very guilty and sad. i didnt even tell him what time i was coming over tonight, i just said if i dont talk to you before, ill see you later. so he might be waiting for a long time. i feel terrible. i really dont want to go over there and do that right now, im feeling badly, i just want to sleep.