Because I'm bored and upset
I woke up this morning and I was crying. I don't know why. Things are just starting to get to me, I suppose.
I have to try and integrate myself back into the real world after Easter break, which scares the crap out of me considering how long I've been ill. Going back to college then won't be so bad, though, I guess. But going back in June and, in particular September, is going to be SO hard because none of my friends will be there, and everyone will be off to university in September. It really is the end of an era - we've all been best friends for 4 years and now we're gonna be spread around the country and making new friends. It all seems so unfair.
Anyway, you probably want to know why I'm posting this here. Well, all this upsetting stuff has put me in a really angsty mood, and since when I think of angst I think of Brad/Ryan, I thought I'd better contribute something.
So, under the cut is all my reasonings for loving this ship so much (partly inspired by clayangel for her discussion post).
Okay, well I first got into Brad/Ryan a couple of months ago. Before then my OTP was Brad/Wayne, and I was trying to make a vid of them, but because I had very few episodes, it was really hard to finish it. Naturally, I started complaining about this to zombie_kitty666 (who, by the way, is a saint for putting up with me and my neuroses), and she suggested adding some Ryan, who was her biggest obsession at that time. I wasn't sure, and managed to finish the Brad/Wayne vid by cutting the music down. But by the time I'd finished, I'd seen so many Ryan/Wayne and Ryan/Brad clips that I wanted to use, that I made a new Brad/Ryan/Wayne vid. After that, I just started seeing Brad/Ryan everywhere.
The reason I love Brad/Ryan is because it's a deep ship - you really have to work to see it, but when you do, it's magic. Their chemistry is great, and when I see them together they just FIT. And I swear they barely take their eyes off each other, especially when one of them is performing and one of them is sitting at the back. Doing the rantcomms for this community has only increased my love for them, because it's making me see little moments I hadn't seen before. Squee!
On a personal level, becoming obsessed with Brad/Ryan has also led me to coming out to some of my closest friends. A couple of them were a bit...weirded out by the fact I'm bi, but mostly they've been really accepting. It's also nice to meet other people who are gay or bi. Haven't told my parents yet. Bit scared to, because I have absolutely no idea how they'll react. I think Dad will be okay about it, but Mum...eep. To be honest, the worst case scenario is that she thinks I'm joking and she'll laugh. That would hurt more than if she got angry.
Anyways, yeah. That's my rant for the day.
Please leave a comment if you want to - I'd love to hear your reasons! Also feel free to talk about anything else that's bothering you. It's always nice to know you're not alone when you're feeling down. And maybe someone has that answer you can't quite figure out.
.x.Sess.x.
I have to try and integrate myself back into the real world after Easter break, which scares the crap out of me considering how long I've been ill. Going back to college then won't be so bad, though, I guess. But going back in June and, in particular September, is going to be SO hard because none of my friends will be there, and everyone will be off to university in September. It really is the end of an era - we've all been best friends for 4 years and now we're gonna be spread around the country and making new friends. It all seems so unfair.
Anyway, you probably want to know why I'm posting this here. Well, all this upsetting stuff has put me in a really angsty mood, and since when I think of angst I think of Brad/Ryan, I thought I'd better contribute something.
So, under the cut is all my reasonings for loving this ship so much (partly inspired by clayangel for her discussion post).
Okay, well I first got into Brad/Ryan a couple of months ago. Before then my OTP was Brad/Wayne, and I was trying to make a vid of them, but because I had very few episodes, it was really hard to finish it. Naturally, I started complaining about this to zombie_kitty666 (who, by the way, is a saint for putting up with me and my neuroses), and she suggested adding some Ryan, who was her biggest obsession at that time. I wasn't sure, and managed to finish the Brad/Wayne vid by cutting the music down. But by the time I'd finished, I'd seen so many Ryan/Wayne and Ryan/Brad clips that I wanted to use, that I made a new Brad/Ryan/Wayne vid. After that, I just started seeing Brad/Ryan everywhere.
The reason I love Brad/Ryan is because it's a deep ship - you really have to work to see it, but when you do, it's magic. Their chemistry is great, and when I see them together they just FIT. And I swear they barely take their eyes off each other, especially when one of them is performing and one of them is sitting at the back. Doing the rantcomms for this community has only increased my love for them, because it's making me see little moments I hadn't seen before. Squee!
On a personal level, becoming obsessed with Brad/Ryan has also led me to coming out to some of my closest friends. A couple of them were a bit...weirded out by the fact I'm bi, but mostly they've been really accepting. It's also nice to meet other people who are gay or bi. Haven't told my parents yet. Bit scared to, because I have absolutely no idea how they'll react. I think Dad will be okay about it, but Mum...eep. To be honest, the worst case scenario is that she thinks I'm joking and she'll laugh. That would hurt more than if she got angry.
Anyways, yeah. That's my rant for the day.
Please leave a comment if you want to - I'd love to hear your reasons! Also feel free to talk about anything else that's bothering you. It's always nice to know you're not alone when you're feeling down. And maybe someone has that answer you can't quite figure out.
.x.Sess.x.