life's amazing turn arounds
LIFE’S AMAZING TURN AROUNDS!
February 5, 2010
I’ve been meaning to write this update for a while, but so much has happened and happened so damn fast. I can still hardly catch my breath! So, here I am, playing catch up. Things will be happening fast and furious for the next month at least, and I’ll do my best to update more regularly.
I just checked my journal and realized I never posted my big New Year’s thoughts. I was so thankful to see the end of 2009, and I wanted to write my thoughts here. So, here’s a quick run-down. Before I get into the good stuff. I rank 2009 in the top five worst years of my life, ever! I never celebrate New Year, but I was at the Hegels, drinking wine, eating food playing games and up till midnight, toasting the hell away with the old and thanking God for the new.
The five worst years of my life are: 1971, the year Dad separated from Rose, his second wife, taking my brother and I with him and breaking up the best home and family I ever had, before or after. The next bad year was 1978, the year I became pregnant for the first and only time and miscarried. All my life I had wanted children and to lose the only one I would ever have inside me was devastating beyond words for me. The next year was 1988, the year my beloved Granny, my paternal grandmother died. Granny was the one solid, never changing relationship in my life, and though I was nearly 31 when she died … yeah, no words again. The next one was 1997, the year my Dad died. God, I still miss you Daddy. And now, add to that 2009, the year I lost everything I loved most, my Bianca, my job, the love of my life. The year I was completely broken from hurt and shame and guilt.
So, I prayed that 2010 would be a turn around year for me. I determined to make it a turn around year. You just can’t have a top five worst year ever without having a better one the next year. Right? Sigh. I hope so. And from the beginning of the year, it sure looks like it’s changing! So, now at last, the scoop the good stuff, the miracles.
Last time I wrote was that I had a job interview on January 19. The interview went pretty well, I think, as interviews go. It was actually one of the easier interviews I’ve had. At the same time, as I mentioned previously, I was applying for the independent contractor tech support position. Just so you all know, I have not heard anything about the IRS job yet. But it doesn’t matter now.
Yes. I have been hired to do tech support for freedom Scientific, as an independent contractor. Wow, the process of getting here was really tough! First of all I had a phone interview with the head of tech support. Most of the time, in my experience, phone interviews are scheduled like face-to-face interviews, scheduled in advance. But that’s not what happened here. So, we had an interview for about 30 minutes, I think. This one was tough, partly I guess because I wasn’t prepared mentally for it. But I did ok. The head guy-I’ll call him B-told me he would have his four escalation team, top tech support guys each call me and do more phone interviews. Whew. They each had a different kind of style, actually. Some were more in depth in their questions. Freedom scientific makes a lot of technology beside the jaws screen reader, and some of the guys asked questions about some old technology that I’ve used but not in eight or nine years. Fortunately, he told me he could tell by my answers that I had used the products, even if I didn’t remember exact steps, I was in the ball park, obviously had been familiar with the item.
So, I had the phone interviews. Then B sent me a written test. He told me I could use any resource I wanted to find the answers, except another person. This test was bloody frigging hard. It covered all the different programs and hardware products, including low vision products. I’m totally blind, so I’ll never be using low vision programs. It took me several days hard work to complete this test. I read product manuals, read tech support bulletins, read help files, training documents and on and on. I spent about six hours a day working on the thing. Some manuals I read through more than once, looking for answers. Sometimes, I flew by the seat of my pants, and when I couldn’t find an answer, just guessed, using my knowledge of general computer behavior. I was mentally wiped out after the test but damn proud and content when I sent it back in.
B called me on the Monday after I finished the test. My goodness, could it be just last week? Wow! He told me they were impressed with how I did on the test. I told him I’d worked very hard on it, and he said they could tell I had and could tell what resources I’d used. I glowed, yeah, I really glowed. Then he told me that the same four guys would be calling me to do fake tech support calls. Ugh. Boom. There went my stomach! I was freaking petrified, to quote Richard Dreyfuss in my favorite movie, THE GOODBYE GIRL. And they called. And their questions were really tough. Mostly they were tough because they purposely dealt with things I didn’t know, I think. My feeling is they wanted to test my ability to stay calm when I didn’t know an answer. One of the problems was directly related to a problem with JAWS and windows 7, and since I haven’t used windows 7 yet, I really didn’t know. But, ha! I used my best, when JAWS isn’t reading right try this trick, and presto, it worked! God does love me!!!
So, on Wednesday of last week, B called me and said they’d like me to work for them as an independent contractor. What this means is that I am self-employed. I have to d my own taxes, find medical insurance and the whole thing. But I’m employed!!!! Can we have an amen? Shall I say it again? I! AM! EMPLOYED! And I’m leaving tomorrow to go to Florida for a month of training on site at the FS offices!
Didn’t I say the next month was going to be fast and furious? Yeah, a whirlwind of change and learning and stuff. Ok, I confess, I’m pretty nervous. Nervous about being in a completely unfamiliar city for a month. Maybe I shouldn’t admit this out loud, but I think I’d feel this way if I was sighted too, so, yeah, as a totally blind person, I’m kinda freaked out about being on my own for a month in a city where I’ve never been, a state where I’ve never been and not knowing anyone. I do know, as an email friend, one person in the area, but that’s it.
Fortunately, I kind of begged Joylene to come with me for the first few days, and though she didn’t feel quite up to it, Dan jumped at the chance. He’s giddy at the idea of seeing Florida. So, he’ll fly with me tomorrow, stay a couple days to help me get settled in my hotel, get groceries, dog food, wine, learn the hotel, all the rest. Then he’ll fly back home mid week. We are going to the shuttle launch Sunday morning. Well, Dan is going for sure. I want to go. I’ve longed to see a space launch since I was a kid and Apollo 11 went off to the moon! But the launch is at 4:30 in the morning, and my hotel is a couple hours away. Hikes! Leaving before dawn practically tomorrow, flying all day, then doing errands, then the launch then starting work on Monday!!! Man, when life takes off, it really does! But this is supposed to be the last ever, yes sadly the last night launch of the shuttle, and I must get my ass out of sleep to go.
The hotel where I’ll be staying is used to dealing with people going to freedom Scientific. First of all, they are offering me a huge, amazing, mind-blowing discount. I have to pay my expenses, and I was worried about paying for a hotel for an entire month, even though I’ll be being paid my salary. The hotel has a shuttle service that will take me to and from work each day, to grocery stores, restaurants and maybe other nearby errands. They have a full continental breakfast everyday, including things like waffles, not just bagels ad muffins. They have a happy hour every Wednesday night, complete with pizza and wine/beer. They have on site laundry facilities for guests. Then their shuttle will take me back to the airport when I come home.
So, I really need to wrap this up soon. I have to pack. Hmmm, why did I wait to do most of it today? I used to be so good at packing days in advance! Thankfully, I can dress in nice jeans so I don’t have to bring two different wardrobes, one for work and one for play. I’ll take my nice jeans, a couple pairs of nice professional pants, just in case, a bunch of blouses, a couple sweaters, dog food to last a few days, and then I’ll buy a bag of food for Olga once I’m there. I’ve got lists and lists of stuff to pack! I hate packing, but it’s part of the deal.
Last night I had a mini melt down over it all, feeling terrified about doing this. You know, I’m just beginning to feel partly whole, partly put back together after everything that went down last year. I still feel somewhat fragile and scared of screwing this up for myself, scared of being alone in this strange city, scared of not learning what I need to learn, scared of having them say, sorry, you’re not a good fit for this, scared of the responsibility of being self employed. At the same time I’m joyous at the idea of working from home, no more commute, no stupid discriminating manager to make my days beyond stressed, no scummy coworkers to screw with my head and heart. But all that comes once I get home. For now, I’ve got to focus on Florida. But I’m scared and nervous and worried.
By the way, in case there’s anyone in the area, I’ll be in St. Petersburg. I know that in some part, my nerves are something like stage fright. They give me the adrenaline I need to survive and do a damn good job. I’ll never let the people at Freedom see that side of me. I’ll be cool and calm, friendly and warm, but utterly professional. Be prepared for freak out sessions in the journal, or over the top giddy ecstatic journals, and everything in between. I never said my emotions are usually on an even keel!
Ok, it’s after eight here and I need to spell check this and post it. But just as an impression of how my life has changed. I’m listening to my oldies play list. I don’t think I’ve really been able to tolerate listening to my oldies much since April 2009. So, listening to my oldies for hours on end means precisely one thing: I am happy, optimistic and confident! Life is damn good right now!
February 5, 2010
I’ve been meaning to write this update for a while, but so much has happened and happened so damn fast. I can still hardly catch my breath! So, here I am, playing catch up. Things will be happening fast and furious for the next month at least, and I’ll do my best to update more regularly.
I just checked my journal and realized I never posted my big New Year’s thoughts. I was so thankful to see the end of 2009, and I wanted to write my thoughts here. So, here’s a quick run-down. Before I get into the good stuff. I rank 2009 in the top five worst years of my life, ever! I never celebrate New Year, but I was at the Hegels, drinking wine, eating food playing games and up till midnight, toasting the hell away with the old and thanking God for the new.
The five worst years of my life are: 1971, the year Dad separated from Rose, his second wife, taking my brother and I with him and breaking up the best home and family I ever had, before or after. The next bad year was 1978, the year I became pregnant for the first and only time and miscarried. All my life I had wanted children and to lose the only one I would ever have inside me was devastating beyond words for me. The next year was 1988, the year my beloved Granny, my paternal grandmother died. Granny was the one solid, never changing relationship in my life, and though I was nearly 31 when she died … yeah, no words again. The next one was 1997, the year my Dad died. God, I still miss you Daddy. And now, add to that 2009, the year I lost everything I loved most, my Bianca, my job, the love of my life. The year I was completely broken from hurt and shame and guilt.
So, I prayed that 2010 would be a turn around year for me. I determined to make it a turn around year. You just can’t have a top five worst year ever without having a better one the next year. Right? Sigh. I hope so. And from the beginning of the year, it sure looks like it’s changing! So, now at last, the scoop the good stuff, the miracles.
Last time I wrote was that I had a job interview on January 19. The interview went pretty well, I think, as interviews go. It was actually one of the easier interviews I’ve had. At the same time, as I mentioned previously, I was applying for the independent contractor tech support position. Just so you all know, I have not heard anything about the IRS job yet. But it doesn’t matter now.
Yes. I have been hired to do tech support for freedom Scientific, as an independent contractor. Wow, the process of getting here was really tough! First of all I had a phone interview with the head of tech support. Most of the time, in my experience, phone interviews are scheduled like face-to-face interviews, scheduled in advance. But that’s not what happened here. So, we had an interview for about 30 minutes, I think. This one was tough, partly I guess because I wasn’t prepared mentally for it. But I did ok. The head guy-I’ll call him B-told me he would have his four escalation team, top tech support guys each call me and do more phone interviews. Whew. They each had a different kind of style, actually. Some were more in depth in their questions. Freedom scientific makes a lot of technology beside the jaws screen reader, and some of the guys asked questions about some old technology that I’ve used but not in eight or nine years. Fortunately, he told me he could tell by my answers that I had used the products, even if I didn’t remember exact steps, I was in the ball park, obviously had been familiar with the item.
So, I had the phone interviews. Then B sent me a written test. He told me I could use any resource I wanted to find the answers, except another person. This test was bloody frigging hard. It covered all the different programs and hardware products, including low vision products. I’m totally blind, so I’ll never be using low vision programs. It took me several days hard work to complete this test. I read product manuals, read tech support bulletins, read help files, training documents and on and on. I spent about six hours a day working on the thing. Some manuals I read through more than once, looking for answers. Sometimes, I flew by the seat of my pants, and when I couldn’t find an answer, just guessed, using my knowledge of general computer behavior. I was mentally wiped out after the test but damn proud and content when I sent it back in.
B called me on the Monday after I finished the test. My goodness, could it be just last week? Wow! He told me they were impressed with how I did on the test. I told him I’d worked very hard on it, and he said they could tell I had and could tell what resources I’d used. I glowed, yeah, I really glowed. Then he told me that the same four guys would be calling me to do fake tech support calls. Ugh. Boom. There went my stomach! I was freaking petrified, to quote Richard Dreyfuss in my favorite movie, THE GOODBYE GIRL. And they called. And their questions were really tough. Mostly they were tough because they purposely dealt with things I didn’t know, I think. My feeling is they wanted to test my ability to stay calm when I didn’t know an answer. One of the problems was directly related to a problem with JAWS and windows 7, and since I haven’t used windows 7 yet, I really didn’t know. But, ha! I used my best, when JAWS isn’t reading right try this trick, and presto, it worked! God does love me!!!
So, on Wednesday of last week, B called me and said they’d like me to work for them as an independent contractor. What this means is that I am self-employed. I have to d my own taxes, find medical insurance and the whole thing. But I’m employed!!!! Can we have an amen? Shall I say it again? I! AM! EMPLOYED! And I’m leaving tomorrow to go to Florida for a month of training on site at the FS offices!
Didn’t I say the next month was going to be fast and furious? Yeah, a whirlwind of change and learning and stuff. Ok, I confess, I’m pretty nervous. Nervous about being in a completely unfamiliar city for a month. Maybe I shouldn’t admit this out loud, but I think I’d feel this way if I was sighted too, so, yeah, as a totally blind person, I’m kinda freaked out about being on my own for a month in a city where I’ve never been, a state where I’ve never been and not knowing anyone. I do know, as an email friend, one person in the area, but that’s it.
Fortunately, I kind of begged Joylene to come with me for the first few days, and though she didn’t feel quite up to it, Dan jumped at the chance. He’s giddy at the idea of seeing Florida. So, he’ll fly with me tomorrow, stay a couple days to help me get settled in my hotel, get groceries, dog food, wine, learn the hotel, all the rest. Then he’ll fly back home mid week. We are going to the shuttle launch Sunday morning. Well, Dan is going for sure. I want to go. I’ve longed to see a space launch since I was a kid and Apollo 11 went off to the moon! But the launch is at 4:30 in the morning, and my hotel is a couple hours away. Hikes! Leaving before dawn practically tomorrow, flying all day, then doing errands, then the launch then starting work on Monday!!! Man, when life takes off, it really does! But this is supposed to be the last ever, yes sadly the last night launch of the shuttle, and I must get my ass out of sleep to go.
The hotel where I’ll be staying is used to dealing with people going to freedom Scientific. First of all, they are offering me a huge, amazing, mind-blowing discount. I have to pay my expenses, and I was worried about paying for a hotel for an entire month, even though I’ll be being paid my salary. The hotel has a shuttle service that will take me to and from work each day, to grocery stores, restaurants and maybe other nearby errands. They have a full continental breakfast everyday, including things like waffles, not just bagels ad muffins. They have a happy hour every Wednesday night, complete with pizza and wine/beer. They have on site laundry facilities for guests. Then their shuttle will take me back to the airport when I come home.
So, I really need to wrap this up soon. I have to pack. Hmmm, why did I wait to do most of it today? I used to be so good at packing days in advance! Thankfully, I can dress in nice jeans so I don’t have to bring two different wardrobes, one for work and one for play. I’ll take my nice jeans, a couple pairs of nice professional pants, just in case, a bunch of blouses, a couple sweaters, dog food to last a few days, and then I’ll buy a bag of food for Olga once I’m there. I’ve got lists and lists of stuff to pack! I hate packing, but it’s part of the deal.
Last night I had a mini melt down over it all, feeling terrified about doing this. You know, I’m just beginning to feel partly whole, partly put back together after everything that went down last year. I still feel somewhat fragile and scared of screwing this up for myself, scared of being alone in this strange city, scared of not learning what I need to learn, scared of having them say, sorry, you’re not a good fit for this, scared of the responsibility of being self employed. At the same time I’m joyous at the idea of working from home, no more commute, no stupid discriminating manager to make my days beyond stressed, no scummy coworkers to screw with my head and heart. But all that comes once I get home. For now, I’ve got to focus on Florida. But I’m scared and nervous and worried.
By the way, in case there’s anyone in the area, I’ll be in St. Petersburg. I know that in some part, my nerves are something like stage fright. They give me the adrenaline I need to survive and do a damn good job. I’ll never let the people at Freedom see that side of me. I’ll be cool and calm, friendly and warm, but utterly professional. Be prepared for freak out sessions in the journal, or over the top giddy ecstatic journals, and everything in between. I never said my emotions are usually on an even keel!
Ok, it’s after eight here and I need to spell check this and post it. But just as an impression of how my life has changed. I’m listening to my oldies play list. I don’t think I’ve really been able to tolerate listening to my oldies much since April 2009. So, listening to my oldies for hours on end means precisely one thing: I am happy, optimistic and confident! Life is damn good right now!