Can you please critique my fic?
anonymous
June 27 2012, 14:51:56 UTC
I'm writing an epistolary fic on the meme, and I would love to get your honest opinion on it. It's my first time writing something only in texts, and I'd like to know how I'm handling the format.
English is not my first language, so please be brutal when SPAG is concerned.
I'm also not british, so brit-picking would be greatly appreciated.
Also, I would love to know what you think of my characterization, about the cases, the relationship...anything.
Re: Can you please critique my fic?
anonymous
June 27 2012, 15:49:35 UTC
FWIW, this is laugh-out-loud funny at points, and I think your voices are very good. There are perhaps some wandering commas at points that I'm not noting (and I'm that fussed about them at all in a text fic, tbh). I'm putting some phrasing stuff under the cut, with the caveat that I speak American English.
Re: Can you please critique my fic?
anonymous
June 27 2012, 16:10:24 UTC
Wow, thank you so much for your help! I think I could read a story 100 times before posting it and still miss some things (masochist instead of sadistic? that's embarrassing).
I Googled "wandering comma" and all I could find was a photograph exhibit. Can you tell me what they are so I can be more careful in my next chapters?
Re: Can you please critique my fic?
anonymous
June 27 2012, 16:20:10 UTC
Ha. Sorry-- "wandering commas" is a really casual and not terribly common phrase for when there are sometimes commas dropped in some places and extra commas in others, so that it looks like they've "wandered" off.
I just meant that a few times there might have been a comma splice (two independent clauses joined by a comma with no conjunction), phrases that could possibly have been separated out by a period or semicolon, etc. Since this is essentially a dialogue fic, and people tend to add on phrases like that when speaking anyway, I'm not sure if it's something you really need to worry about--I pretty much read it as a stylistic indication of how fast Sherlock or John was thinking.
Re: Can you please critique my fic?
anonymous
June 27 2012, 16:56:44 UTC
I thought about comma splices and semicolons way too much while writing this. Personally, I think Sherlock would use semicolons in his texts, so I'll go back and double check what I wrote to see what I missed.
As for John...I honestly don't know. Judging from his blog entries, I don't think he would use them, but I'm not sure. Or maybe he would use them when his fingers aren't trying to catch up with his brain when I imagine him writing as fast as he can (when annoyed or very excited).
Next time I read it from the beginning, I'll look more closely. Maybe I could make Sherlock use semicolons and fix John's comma splices with periods.
English is not my first language, so please be brutal when SPAG is concerned.
I'm also not british, so brit-picking would be greatly appreciated.
Also, I would love to know what you think of my characterization, about the cases, the relationship...anything.
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http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/19700.html?thread=115117300#t115117300
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[click for word vomit]2b: (03:26 ( ... )
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I Googled "wandering comma" and all I could find was a photograph exhibit. Can you tell me what they are so I can be more careful in my next chapters?
Thanks for your time; I really appreciate it :)
Reply
I just meant that a few times there might have been a comma splice (two independent clauses joined by a comma with no conjunction), phrases that could possibly have been separated out by a period or semicolon, etc. Since this is essentially a dialogue fic, and people tend to add on phrases like that when speaking anyway, I'm not sure if it's something you really need to worry about--I pretty much read it as a stylistic indication of how fast Sherlock or John was thinking.
Reply
As for John...I honestly don't know. Judging from his blog entries, I don't think he would use them, but I'm not sure. Or maybe he would use them when his fingers aren't trying to catch up with his brain when I imagine him writing as fast as he can (when annoyed or very excited).
Next time I read it from the beginning, I'll look more closely. Maybe I could make Sherlock use semicolons and fix John's comma splices with periods.
Again, thanks for your help!
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