Morning!
Last night the people below me must have been watching a film with the curtains open because all night there was a large flashing light, that was always different colours right outside my window. It was really annoying.
1. Five books Watson read to Holmes while Holmes was recovering from a bad cold. (Holmes hid the third one while Watson went to get more water)
1. 'Frankenstein' - Watson enjoyed the look of terror on Holmes's face and how he kept whimpering and grabbing Watson's hand.
2. 'Extracts from Inspector Lestrade's Diary' - this was greatly amusing and gave them both some good ammunition.
3. 'The Sign of Four' - Watson was showing off his latest work. Holmes hid it because he knew he would burst into tears at any moment, or beat Watson senseless.
4. One of Watson's sea novels - this had to be stopped after Holmes was violently sea sick... Watson can tell a good story.
5. A medical text book - Watson was running out of ideas.
2. Five things Watson did on his visit to America, and hopes Holmes never finds out about.
1. Gave his name as 'Sherlock Holmes'.
2. After a very drunken night out, he married a random women, passed out drunk and when he woke up in the morning he had to explain it was all a mistake.
3. Shagged half of New York.
4. Was violently sick on the boat over.
5. Got drunk on the boat, stripped off and raced around the deck. When the sailors caught him he had a very delightful time.
3. Five reasons Lestrade wishes he never met Holmes. Or Watson.
1. They stole his diary and keep giggling about his fantasies.
2. Ever since he accidentally saw Watson without his trousers he can't stop thinking about his package... can things really be that...?
3. It's hard to concentrate on the case in hand when they keep giving gooey eys to each other and sneaking off together.
4. His wife keeps asking when she can meet the 'handsome Sherlock Holmes and his delightful friend.'
5. All Watson does in the pub is complain about Sherlock bloody Holmes.
4. Five reasons Watson can't keep his facts straight. ("Oh, hell... did I erase that bit about my wife's mother before I sent it off??? If you would stop touching me whilst I write, Holmes...!!!!")
1. He's very fond of the drinks cabinet.
2. Holmes isn't the drug addict....
3. It's very hard to concentrate when your room mate insists on lying about the sitting room with a bow on his privates.
4. Holmes never lets him print the complete truth and has a stringent set of rules to follow.
5. His handwriting is illegible so he has to make things up.
5. Five things Holmes did when he found out Watson had been secretly publishing love stories featuring a man named "Skylock Bolmes" and his room mate "Dr. Washton".
1. Laughed hysterically for three hours unable to tell Watson what he was laughing about.
2. Blushed.
3. Went to his room and did a naked victory dance, then sent for Watson.
4. Wrote a ten page critique of the work because he can't help criticising Watson's work.
5. Became relieved that Watson evidentially doesn't know about the stories he publishes featuring Sexlock Vomes and Dr Shaggular.
Bonus:
Five reasons Holmes was acting so strangely in FIVE.
1. Watson had handcuffed him to the chair in preparation for a night of passion, except he'd lost the key. That's why Holmes was stuck in Baker Street... until Mrs Hudson could fetch a hand saw.
2. He'd not had sex in four days.
3. Mrs Hudson forced him to eat sprouts.
4. He was scared his hair dye would run if he ventured out of the house, he didn't want Watson to know his natural hair colour... not after he made a huge effort to dye *everything*.
5. He'd actually met John Openshaw two weeks earlier in the lavatory at Waterloo Station. He was scared that the guy was solely here to tell Watson.