(no subject)
Holy God. I actually socialized with people.
Michael Fogleman came over last night and watched Sleepover with me. I was lonely, and it was nice to not have to watch movies all by myself. He's still a jerk, my friend, and I take great pleasure in watching him try not to be such a hick in an attempt to impress me. Then, Christina arrived after having watched movies with her boyfriend. We all ended up smoking cigarettes for three hours as we discussed drugs, politics, sex, and violence. So nice to not have to pay for any of that excitement.
I miss my boys terribly. That includes you, Matt Gonia.
I also miss people smoking me out every day of my life. Must. Find. Boys. Terribly. Sexually. Attracted. To. Me. Who. Smoke.
It is considerably easier to live in my emotional problems without it. Sorry if that bothers you, but that just happens to be the case in the present. And, my status with Richard is becoming increasingly more and more adjatated
Bleh. I don't know what to do about my situation with him. I love him. And, by all means I'm not saying I want to break up with him, but he's putting a lot of pressure on me. I know my parents can be horrible people, but I cannot just up and leave next semester even if he can afford to put me through college. Why? It really has nothing to do with them. Leaving my parents, moving to Baton Rouge, and making a home with Richie mean I have to grow up considerably quicker than I think I can.
I want to make a slow transition through a dorm room. ...Because I'm not ready to live with him, because I'm not ready to surrender all my privacy and any mystery that I may still have from him, because I'm nothing but a princess, because I'm trying to keep one foot in the door of just being a teenager, because I'm a little girl and he's a man
It's frustrating because he thinks this is about him being "unacceptable" or "poor." But, I am beyond scared that somewhere everything is going to get all fucked up once again. I'm afraid that one day he'll figure me out...and maybe realize that I'm not the one.
And, once I commit myself to Richie in a permanent sense, I am leaving my entire family. And, that's pretty tough, even if he has supported me emotionally in ways that my family has never even bothered to do. I need something other than just his words that will make that set in stone.
It's beyond stressful to not be able to visit Baton Rouge whenever I want as my parents promised. Blair has been so kind as to invite me to ride with her, but my parents are ridiculous about letting me do it. I was told if I moved here, I'd get to go back whenever I wanted. Funny how my father only upholds promises of punishment. ...but, that's a can of worms that I don't want to break open in my head right now.
I have to finish eleven math problems before midnight via this stupid Internet program. Idunwanna.
I wish I could just watch Gilmore girls in my theatre class. She's said nothing that Wax, Couvillion, and Strickland didn't already say six hundred times.
Anyone in Baton Rouge going to see Tool in The Woodlands on Monday? I'm probably going because Brian is!
Going to the designated smoking area on campus is like going to a bar. There's always some creepy dude that lights your cigarette while you're searching through your purse for a lighter.
Michael Fogleman came over last night and watched Sleepover with me. I was lonely, and it was nice to not have to watch movies all by myself. He's still a jerk, my friend, and I take great pleasure in watching him try not to be such a hick in an attempt to impress me. Then, Christina arrived after having watched movies with her boyfriend. We all ended up smoking cigarettes for three hours as we discussed drugs, politics, sex, and violence. So nice to not have to pay for any of that excitement.
I miss my boys terribly. That includes you, Matt Gonia.
I also miss people smoking me out every day of my life. Must. Find. Boys. Terribly. Sexually. Attracted. To. Me. Who. Smoke.
It is considerably easier to live in my emotional problems without it. Sorry if that bothers you, but that just happens to be the case in the present. And, my status with Richard is becoming increasingly more and more adjatated
Bleh. I don't know what to do about my situation with him. I love him. And, by all means I'm not saying I want to break up with him, but he's putting a lot of pressure on me. I know my parents can be horrible people, but I cannot just up and leave next semester even if he can afford to put me through college. Why? It really has nothing to do with them. Leaving my parents, moving to Baton Rouge, and making a home with Richie mean I have to grow up considerably quicker than I think I can.
I want to make a slow transition through a dorm room. ...Because I'm not ready to live with him, because I'm not ready to surrender all my privacy and any mystery that I may still have from him, because I'm nothing but a princess, because I'm trying to keep one foot in the door of just being a teenager, because I'm a little girl and he's a man
It's frustrating because he thinks this is about him being "unacceptable" or "poor." But, I am beyond scared that somewhere everything is going to get all fucked up once again. I'm afraid that one day he'll figure me out...and maybe realize that I'm not the one.
And, once I commit myself to Richie in a permanent sense, I am leaving my entire family. And, that's pretty tough, even if he has supported me emotionally in ways that my family has never even bothered to do. I need something other than just his words that will make that set in stone.
It's beyond stressful to not be able to visit Baton Rouge whenever I want as my parents promised. Blair has been so kind as to invite me to ride with her, but my parents are ridiculous about letting me do it. I was told if I moved here, I'd get to go back whenever I wanted. Funny how my father only upholds promises of punishment. ...but, that's a can of worms that I don't want to break open in my head right now.
I have to finish eleven math problems before midnight via this stupid Internet program. Idunwanna.
I wish I could just watch Gilmore girls in my theatre class. She's said nothing that Wax, Couvillion, and Strickland didn't already say six hundred times.
Anyone in Baton Rouge going to see Tool in The Woodlands on Monday? I'm probably going because Brian is!
Going to the designated smoking area on campus is like going to a bar. There's always some creepy dude that lights your cigarette while you're searching through your purse for a lighter.