Weaknesses
Right, I guess it's about time I update this thing, now that I have something to update about. I just came back from my Sogo Budo practice and I'm completely beat, both literally and figuratively. Near the end, something similar to this happened. I was totally dominated in an exercise and I was forced to contemplate my own weaknesses. Therefore, I shall write them down while they are still fresh in my memories.
Good... now I can refer to this and keep reminding myself. If everything else in my life finally stabilizes soon (it should...) I'm really gonna have to pick up the pace in my training over the summer.
- Weakness A: I am both feeble and weak. These are two different things. "Feeble" means I am simply not strong physically. My kicks and punches really lack the impact required to make a difference. "Weak" is spiritually-speaking. For some reason, whenever I feel aggression toward me, or I get punched or kicked really hard, my spirit breaks down and I feel like I'm on the verge of crying (like I described in the post linked above).
- Weakness B: Most of the time, I am totally unable to accept Weakness A. I often get delusions of grandeur and it's like my mind is in complete denial of my true nature. This is why I'm writing this all down, now that I'm going through one of those rare moments of truth.
Good... now I can refer to this and keep reminding myself. If everything else in my life finally stabilizes soon (it should...) I'm really gonna have to pick up the pace in my training over the summer.