Lost
Today I came to deal with one of the harder aspects of Chelsea's health issues, and that was pretty hard. She passed out, something involving the system that governs her heart rate deciding not to govern it. Supposedly theres a very small chance she could not wake up from when she passes out. It's an almost non existent chance but thats not what really hurt today.
It was very late here, 3 or 4 int he morning, and my Mom called. She never calls that late. She started telling me something bad happened... I thought maybe something happened to Otis... but apparently my Uncle passed away on his way home from work last night. He was in a car accident, I don't know the details yet. I was ok through the phone call, but the last minute or so of it I was fighting off tears pretty hard, and ended up balling my eyes out as soon as I hung up. I never expected that...
I saw him on my trip down here just a matter of months ago, he was one of the more awesome and nicer people I'd ever known. It was the first time I'd seen him since my Dad's funeral... we found out he played WoW while we were there and I kept waiting for him to log onto real id when I got my account back up but now I know he never will. I feel so sorry for my cousin, he's only 2 years older than I was when I lost my Dad. I worry about my Aunt Lenetta... I really worry about my grandparents... both of their kids are gone now... it really impacted me because he was such a resemblance of my Dad, being around him on the way down was really nice cause they were so much alike... now thats gone as well... My poor Aunt wouldn't have even known anything was wrong till she got a bad phone call, he would've just been off at work... I feel an extreme sense of mortality right now... I feel like I don't know which way is up... feel like I waste so much time... I feel like if I do or feel anything I normally would that I'm being fucked up but I just don't know what else to do...
...and it was almost a decade ago that my Dad passed away... I wish I could goto the funeral whenever that happens but I don't think I'll be able to find a way...
I'm gonna go pass out now...
It was very late here, 3 or 4 int he morning, and my Mom called. She never calls that late. She started telling me something bad happened... I thought maybe something happened to Otis... but apparently my Uncle passed away on his way home from work last night. He was in a car accident, I don't know the details yet. I was ok through the phone call, but the last minute or so of it I was fighting off tears pretty hard, and ended up balling my eyes out as soon as I hung up. I never expected that...
I saw him on my trip down here just a matter of months ago, he was one of the more awesome and nicer people I'd ever known. It was the first time I'd seen him since my Dad's funeral... we found out he played WoW while we were there and I kept waiting for him to log onto real id when I got my account back up but now I know he never will. I feel so sorry for my cousin, he's only 2 years older than I was when I lost my Dad. I worry about my Aunt Lenetta... I really worry about my grandparents... both of their kids are gone now... it really impacted me because he was such a resemblance of my Dad, being around him on the way down was really nice cause they were so much alike... now thats gone as well... My poor Aunt wouldn't have even known anything was wrong till she got a bad phone call, he would've just been off at work... I feel an extreme sense of mortality right now... I feel like I don't know which way is up... feel like I waste so much time... I feel like if I do or feel anything I normally would that I'm being fucked up but I just don't know what else to do...
...and it was almost a decade ago that my Dad passed away... I wish I could goto the funeral whenever that happens but I don't think I'll be able to find a way...
I'm gonna go pass out now...