to be or not to be
What do u do when you've got nuthin to live for? That question got answered today...was it coming from a prayer...nobody will ever know.....life cant be life if u cant chose ur ways...life cant be life if ur forced to live.
i guess the meaning of life is what u make of it. and today life to me really isnt much. this probably will be one of the saddest entries i'll make.
it hurts so much when sum1 u luv gives up. some1 u've grown up...the person who gives ur advice as if u were his own grandchild. but why should it hurt when it makes the other person comfortable.
death isnt only a physical thing its also emotional. and once u die emotionally i truly see no reason to live.
life sux...tru...i like totally understand this concept more than most can imagine but i am not emotionally dead and thus contemplating suicide isnt an option tho it seems the easy way out it neva is an option *to me atleast*.
Do i wish i could be dead? sometimes...makes every1 happy...without me there'd neva been CASA....there would've neva been neenz...baby nena...lil'sam...neeluweelu...max's sis...Charanz friend...ed's sis...moe's sis...Lil arab number 2. being all these things has created sadness in sum1s life. i am tired of dealing with everything. i am crying...bc that is how i cope with things.
i was told crying isnt an option if i want to survive in this world but isnt it human?
i am tired of being told i'm worthless...maybe i am but i dun need to hear it.
i am tired of life. i am tired of all the sadness that surrounds me life. i am tired of the good ppl in life leaving me. i remember crying in the chuck E cheese bathroom in fear of someone's life. why do i have to live in fear. my biggest fear is being alone. and everytime i turn around the ppl around me seem to dissappear whether emotionaly or physically out of my life.
alot of ppl tell me that my problems are worthless. that i really dun have anything to complain about. and i wish those ppl knew me. i wish those ppl could see my life.
i hate drama...alot of ppl thing i live on it but i dun. i hate injustice...i hate liars. one thing i am not is a liar. and thus the reason for hating them.
i hate having to plz all.
i hate living for a lost cause...why live when ur born to fail. why live in a world where ur not wanted. why be if ur not supposed to be?
Why am i being tested? my sister reminded me today of sumthin her friend use to tell her "ur not being tested by god but by the devil" and i am tired of it. Why does the devil make me miserable.
I've learned about life and wat it really is at a young age. i've seen suicide...i've seen death...murder...i've seen it all firsthand. and life sux.
sux
sux
sux
lmao i wish i wasnt me...i dun wanna be the loud/silly me...i dun wanna be me...i'd kill to be the girl who sat in the back who no1 talked to and no1 knew anything about her.
but i am who i am...
i guess the meaning of life is what u make of it. and today life to me really isnt much. this probably will be one of the saddest entries i'll make.
it hurts so much when sum1 u luv gives up. some1 u've grown up...the person who gives ur advice as if u were his own grandchild. but why should it hurt when it makes the other person comfortable.
death isnt only a physical thing its also emotional. and once u die emotionally i truly see no reason to live.
life sux...tru...i like totally understand this concept more than most can imagine but i am not emotionally dead and thus contemplating suicide isnt an option tho it seems the easy way out it neva is an option *to me atleast*.
Do i wish i could be dead? sometimes...makes every1 happy...without me there'd neva been CASA....there would've neva been neenz...baby nena...lil'sam...neeluweelu...max's sis...Charanz friend...ed's sis...moe's sis...Lil arab number 2. being all these things has created sadness in sum1s life. i am tired of dealing with everything. i am crying...bc that is how i cope with things.
i was told crying isnt an option if i want to survive in this world but isnt it human?
i am tired of being told i'm worthless...maybe i am but i dun need to hear it.
i am tired of life. i am tired of all the sadness that surrounds me life. i am tired of the good ppl in life leaving me. i remember crying in the chuck E cheese bathroom in fear of someone's life. why do i have to live in fear. my biggest fear is being alone. and everytime i turn around the ppl around me seem to dissappear whether emotionaly or physically out of my life.
alot of ppl tell me that my problems are worthless. that i really dun have anything to complain about. and i wish those ppl knew me. i wish those ppl could see my life.
i hate drama...alot of ppl thing i live on it but i dun. i hate injustice...i hate liars. one thing i am not is a liar. and thus the reason for hating them.
i hate having to plz all.
i hate living for a lost cause...why live when ur born to fail. why live in a world where ur not wanted. why be if ur not supposed to be?
Why am i being tested? my sister reminded me today of sumthin her friend use to tell her "ur not being tested by god but by the devil" and i am tired of it. Why does the devil make me miserable.
I've learned about life and wat it really is at a young age. i've seen suicide...i've seen death...murder...i've seen it all firsthand. and life sux.
sux
sux
sux
lmao i wish i wasnt me...i dun wanna be the loud/silly me...i dun wanna be me...i'd kill to be the girl who sat in the back who no1 talked to and no1 knew anything about her.
but i am who i am...