Selamat Hari Jadi
Today is my 25th birthday. So far, it is the most unique birthday I have had thus far in my life. And it's not unique just because of my geographical location. Yes, this will most likely be the only birthday I spend in Malaysia with the new family I have made here. There are other reasons that contribute to it's uniqueness as well. Most notably, this is the first birthday I have had where I genuinely feel old...or at least feel older. Most birthdays seem to only serve as mile markers that aid in our overwhelming need to categorize and label everything in our lives. Turning 21 was memorable. I don't recall turning 22 or 23. In fact, I believed myself to still be 22 even months after April had already passed. And 24 was a year that was marked with change, but the actual date itself was nothing to write home about.
If this birthday were to pass in the same fashion as all the others had in more recent years, I would most likely be spending my time during the day at work. A few people in the know would no doubt wish me a happy birthday. I would come home to a store bought cake of my choosing, most likely something extremely sweet and chocolatey, with 25 candles ablaze on top. Whatever family was available would be gathered around the table, ready to sing the customary "Happy Birthday" song in off-key, but enthusiastic voices. My mother would definitely be present. My father would be as well, although we might have to wait for him until late to return from work. Dylan and Liz might be prevailed upon to make an appearance. Sara would most likely be as school, but would send along her well wishes regardless. My grandfather would be dragged unwillingly from his lair, but would no doubt gladly accept a piece of cake nonetheless. After partaking in some cake, a few small presents would be given. Perhaps some chocolate, or a DVD that has been desired for some time. While this scene depicts nothing spectacular or Earth shattering, it represents the way I have spent the majority of my 25 birthdays thus far. Simple, reliable, comfortable, and surrounded by family.
This year, however, is unique. I am in Malaysia. Instead of my family gathered around our kitchen table singing me Happy Birthday, I was sitting on a mat after the first day of a netball tournament with 20 of my female students. They sang the same song, but it had a different accent that made it feel different than the other times that came before. The cake I received came from my mentor. It was melted from the hot sun, and had a distinctly spongey consistency that all desserts in Malaysia seem to inherit. Sharing it with my students, it was a cake I will remember for years to come. We also passed around slices of watermelon that always seems much fuller and juicer than any watermelon I remember eating back home. When I return home, my roommate and I are going to go to Secret Recipe, the only western style restaurant that can be found in our town of Pekan. Throughout the day of my actual birthday I had many enthusiastic students wish me happiness for my day. There were many touching gestures and kind words, and I do not doubt that I will have no trouble remembering this birthday for many years to come.
To summarize, because that is what teachers do, I am now 25 years old. Yesterday I was 24, and today I am 25. This is the first birthday I have had where I can feel myself age one year in one day. The ticking of the clock has finally caught up to me. I can feel my past trying to pull me back towards the familiar. Towards home. On the other end is my future. There is no pull here, but instead a suffocating feeling of being slowly submerged in the unknown, without the power to save myself. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but my consistent need to look on the bright side would wish for me to choose the first. So that is what I will do. My life is full of many things, but today there are only two things I can see clearly. Possibilities and Choices. That is why good is the current descriptor. Even though I am drowning, I am drowning in the sheer amount of possibilities I have available to me. And, I have decided, that is not the worst way to go.
If this birthday were to pass in the same fashion as all the others had in more recent years, I would most likely be spending my time during the day at work. A few people in the know would no doubt wish me a happy birthday. I would come home to a store bought cake of my choosing, most likely something extremely sweet and chocolatey, with 25 candles ablaze on top. Whatever family was available would be gathered around the table, ready to sing the customary "Happy Birthday" song in off-key, but enthusiastic voices. My mother would definitely be present. My father would be as well, although we might have to wait for him until late to return from work. Dylan and Liz might be prevailed upon to make an appearance. Sara would most likely be as school, but would send along her well wishes regardless. My grandfather would be dragged unwillingly from his lair, but would no doubt gladly accept a piece of cake nonetheless. After partaking in some cake, a few small presents would be given. Perhaps some chocolate, or a DVD that has been desired for some time. While this scene depicts nothing spectacular or Earth shattering, it represents the way I have spent the majority of my 25 birthdays thus far. Simple, reliable, comfortable, and surrounded by family.
This year, however, is unique. I am in Malaysia. Instead of my family gathered around our kitchen table singing me Happy Birthday, I was sitting on a mat after the first day of a netball tournament with 20 of my female students. They sang the same song, but it had a different accent that made it feel different than the other times that came before. The cake I received came from my mentor. It was melted from the hot sun, and had a distinctly spongey consistency that all desserts in Malaysia seem to inherit. Sharing it with my students, it was a cake I will remember for years to come. We also passed around slices of watermelon that always seems much fuller and juicer than any watermelon I remember eating back home. When I return home, my roommate and I are going to go to Secret Recipe, the only western style restaurant that can be found in our town of Pekan. Throughout the day of my actual birthday I had many enthusiastic students wish me happiness for my day. There were many touching gestures and kind words, and I do not doubt that I will have no trouble remembering this birthday for many years to come.
To summarize, because that is what teachers do, I am now 25 years old. Yesterday I was 24, and today I am 25. This is the first birthday I have had where I can feel myself age one year in one day. The ticking of the clock has finally caught up to me. I can feel my past trying to pull me back towards the familiar. Towards home. On the other end is my future. There is no pull here, but instead a suffocating feeling of being slowly submerged in the unknown, without the power to save myself. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but my consistent need to look on the bright side would wish for me to choose the first. So that is what I will do. My life is full of many things, but today there are only two things I can see clearly. Possibilities and Choices. That is why good is the current descriptor. Even though I am drowning, I am drowning in the sheer amount of possibilities I have available to me. And, I have decided, that is not the worst way to go.