Issue #0921| I had a simple plan.
It has been a long time since I updated this journal.
I don't think I'll ever make it to 1000 entries, despite the face that I only have about eighty entries left. I wanted to finish this whole 1000-entry-feat before I went away, because then I could start a new journal and it would be a fresh start from this 5-year madness I have going with the shemmin account. But I suppose one can't have everything, and indeed, I may not have my 1000 entries in the end.
I suddenly feel very light headed and disoriented. I feel like I'm floating up away from the laptop. It's not a good feeling either, more like what I imagine being on some "mind-expanding" drug is like. Though on that note, trips are probably more to do with changing colors and OTHER things floating away, rather than the user themselves floating away. I dunno.
I finished the last Harry Potter book last night at somewhere around 2am. I was kind of ashamed of reading it at first but then I thought, I've read all the other books, I have got to see how she finished this fucker. So I read the whole thing inside of 2 days, as quickly as I could have managed between work and going out: like taking a band-aid off. Quick, relatively painless. I liked the book actually. But when I finished it, I didn't have a feeling of satisfaction like when I normally finish books, I just thought about 3 or 4 summers ago, reading the first books. And that made me think about being a kid again.
That probably set me up for what has been on my mind this morning, because faces have been floating in and out of my mind, people that I used to know. Deacon Fortney, for example. But not as the druggie he was last time I saw him, I was thinking about when he first moved to Mission and Chris and I and Dustin Jasper were his sort of only group of friends. The first time I met him was on Laurene's trampoline. I have no idea why I was thinking about this today, but it made me a bit sad. Young Derek Hogan floated into my head at some point, and that did make me sad, because Derek was still my friend up until not so long ago, when he dropped off the map and never ever called me again. And being me, I can't call him because, despite my mixed feelings on the matter, I know it'll be a fruitless effort to try to maintain friendship with the guy. His mum talks to me more than he has in the last year. (Derek's mum recently added me on facebook and she messages me semi-regularly. We talk about folk music and musicians we like and such.)
As you can probably tell, I don't know where I'm going with any of this. But Katie wrote something about wanting to walk indefinitely, which was comforting because I nearly always have that feeling, and it's heightened right now because I'm extremely restless. I want to go back to Neilson Park, because despite the fact that I deleted that entry I wrote about it (because I was a bit inebriated when I wrote it) I had a really, really good feeling when I was there. It was secluded and peaceful, but not like the abbey. I don't feel like going to the abbey today.
At any rate, Saved by the Bell is on now. So that's my cue. A dramatic ending, I know.
I don't think I'll ever make it to 1000 entries, despite the face that I only have about eighty entries left. I wanted to finish this whole 1000-entry-feat before I went away, because then I could start a new journal and it would be a fresh start from this 5-year madness I have going with the shemmin account. But I suppose one can't have everything, and indeed, I may not have my 1000 entries in the end.
I suddenly feel very light headed and disoriented. I feel like I'm floating up away from the laptop. It's not a good feeling either, more like what I imagine being on some "mind-expanding" drug is like. Though on that note, trips are probably more to do with changing colors and OTHER things floating away, rather than the user themselves floating away. I dunno.
I finished the last Harry Potter book last night at somewhere around 2am. I was kind of ashamed of reading it at first but then I thought, I've read all the other books, I have got to see how she finished this fucker. So I read the whole thing inside of 2 days, as quickly as I could have managed between work and going out: like taking a band-aid off. Quick, relatively painless. I liked the book actually. But when I finished it, I didn't have a feeling of satisfaction like when I normally finish books, I just thought about 3 or 4 summers ago, reading the first books. And that made me think about being a kid again.
That probably set me up for what has been on my mind this morning, because faces have been floating in and out of my mind, people that I used to know. Deacon Fortney, for example. But not as the druggie he was last time I saw him, I was thinking about when he first moved to Mission and Chris and I and Dustin Jasper were his sort of only group of friends. The first time I met him was on Laurene's trampoline. I have no idea why I was thinking about this today, but it made me a bit sad. Young Derek Hogan floated into my head at some point, and that did make me sad, because Derek was still my friend up until not so long ago, when he dropped off the map and never ever called me again. And being me, I can't call him because, despite my mixed feelings on the matter, I know it'll be a fruitless effort to try to maintain friendship with the guy. His mum talks to me more than he has in the last year. (Derek's mum recently added me on facebook and she messages me semi-regularly. We talk about folk music and musicians we like and such.)
As you can probably tell, I don't know where I'm going with any of this. But Katie wrote something about wanting to walk indefinitely, which was comforting because I nearly always have that feeling, and it's heightened right now because I'm extremely restless. I want to go back to Neilson Park, because despite the fact that I deleted that entry I wrote about it (because I was a bit inebriated when I wrote it) I had a really, really good feeling when I was there. It was secluded and peaceful, but not like the abbey. I don't feel like going to the abbey today.
At any rate, Saved by the Bell is on now. So that's my cue. A dramatic ending, I know.