(no subject)
lifes been good lately, spring break was good, i'm sad its almost over.. i spent most of it with angel.. which was wonderful.. lately its fet like somethings missing though.. i dunno what it is.. its just this weird longing for something that i don't really understand.. iono.. its been bothering me.. and i've been having lots of weird thoughts about myself that i know aren't true.. and yet they keep nagging at me.. like what if it was? what if it is? iono.. its been bothering me alot lately.. i feel like a fucking schitzo.. just want it to go away.. like sometimes shit like this happens.. something just makes me think about something over and over for awhile. i know it'll go away eventually but right now its just annoying the hell out of me.. it might be that i really haven't talked about my feelings about anything in a long time.. really haven't talked to anyone besides angel in a long time.. and we don't really talk about much lately.. iono.. its weird.. i love the girl to death but we tend to talk about nothing all the time..
it makes me feel better to write all this down.. i haven't written anything in along time.. it seems like i feel i don't have enought time or something to ever do it.. like i'd rather be doing something else.. even though those are generally something just as pointless.. but it always felt like it wasn't.. like i just couldn't.. because i had nothing to really say.. and now i do.. so it really feels good to get it all out for once.. to just let everything go.. i personally don't know how people who keep there lives to themselves can stand it sometimes.. i don't really see the point of keeping everything to yourself.. the point of living to me is to be apart of everyone around you.. they are in a sense what makes up you.. how they percieve you and how you percieve yourself.. and while i'm just sorta reciting something i heard from a show i was watching awhile ago i really agreed with it.. it seems like lately i can relate to alot things i read and watch.. for most of my life i've felt alone and now i feel like i relate to those all around me.
aaaanyway.. enough of that.. before i start writing things over again.. i really need a new job.. i hate working at chick fil a now.. i can't stand my bosses and its just so boring.. its just not the work for me.. i want to work at a store.. and a store that i actually like so i can help people with things that actually interest me.. i would love to work at barnes and nobles but i don't think they're hiring.. i'll probably look into it later.. i would life guard but the class is like 95 dollars and at the moment i don't have the time to go to it.. but anyway.. i'm done for now.
it makes me feel better to write all this down.. i haven't written anything in along time.. it seems like i feel i don't have enought time or something to ever do it.. like i'd rather be doing something else.. even though those are generally something just as pointless.. but it always felt like it wasn't.. like i just couldn't.. because i had nothing to really say.. and now i do.. so it really feels good to get it all out for once.. to just let everything go.. i personally don't know how people who keep there lives to themselves can stand it sometimes.. i don't really see the point of keeping everything to yourself.. the point of living to me is to be apart of everyone around you.. they are in a sense what makes up you.. how they percieve you and how you percieve yourself.. and while i'm just sorta reciting something i heard from a show i was watching awhile ago i really agreed with it.. it seems like lately i can relate to alot things i read and watch.. for most of my life i've felt alone and now i feel like i relate to those all around me.
aaaanyway.. enough of that.. before i start writing things over again.. i really need a new job.. i hate working at chick fil a now.. i can't stand my bosses and its just so boring.. its just not the work for me.. i want to work at a store.. and a store that i actually like so i can help people with things that actually interest me.. i would love to work at barnes and nobles but i don't think they're hiring.. i'll probably look into it later.. i would life guard but the class is like 95 dollars and at the moment i don't have the time to go to it.. but anyway.. i'm done for now.