(no subject)
Silence.
It's something I couldn't stand at one point but now it seems to be what I hear most. I'll be driving along for miles before I realize I never turned my radio back on or whatever. I'll be sitting at my computer for quite a while before I notice I can hear my cat purring happily on my bed and there's no music on.
It's like something's changed and I can't pinpoint it. I'm embarrassed to read my old work, I'm scared to write more. I need constant assurance that what I'm writing makes sense and will work out. Maybe I'm doing this all wrong by actually acknowledging the depression. I always felt so much different when I ignored it.
I say different because it definitely wasn't better. It's like something locked up in the back of my mind, or someone. And while I deny they are there, I keep hearing her scream. What causes it? Chemical imbalance? A chemical imbalance makes me think this way? It seems too good to be true.
I hate that stinging feeling you get in your nose when you're about to cry. It's what actually pushes my eyes to water most of the time and then all hell breaks loose.
I hate being on my period.
It's something I couldn't stand at one point but now it seems to be what I hear most. I'll be driving along for miles before I realize I never turned my radio back on or whatever. I'll be sitting at my computer for quite a while before I notice I can hear my cat purring happily on my bed and there's no music on.
It's like something's changed and I can't pinpoint it. I'm embarrassed to read my old work, I'm scared to write more. I need constant assurance that what I'm writing makes sense and will work out. Maybe I'm doing this all wrong by actually acknowledging the depression. I always felt so much different when I ignored it.
I say different because it definitely wasn't better. It's like something locked up in the back of my mind, or someone. And while I deny they are there, I keep hearing her scream. What causes it? Chemical imbalance? A chemical imbalance makes me think this way? It seems too good to be true.
I hate that stinging feeling you get in your nose when you're about to cry. It's what actually pushes my eyes to water most of the time and then all hell breaks loose.
I hate being on my period.