(no subject)
I don't know how much more of life I can take. Everything finally starts gettin good for me and all in one day everything gets fucked up. There are so many reasons why I want to use right now and I'm scared because I am a very weak person especially when it comes to that kinda shit and who knows if I'm gonna use again. I say I won't but anything can happen. It only takes one time. I just don't know. I honestly thought 2005 was gonna be a better year than last year. and already it's worse. I hope everything gets better soon. The only thing I have got to look forward to is Stephen is coming home sometime this week but then he has to leave me again. I wish I could think more positive because the only shit that goes through my head is all negatative. I hope I'm not this way much longer. cuz i don't trust myself