And so the FICTION begins...Interlude to Mom
I guess you can say you know me, as much as i would like to think you don't. i won't deny that fact that i am arrogant, that i believe i am better than you, and somewhat smarter than most people i know. If you grew up with my mother, my siblings and my grandparents like i did, then you would assume that you have not only conquered your circumstances, but this world and all who are in it.
How can i begin to tell you what it was like growing up with mom? let's start off with: Lexus ls400. Yes, mother worked hard to get her lexus, her 64,259sq. ft. home we live in, and her $85 highlights.
Mom had originally dropped out of 8th grade. She wanted to do anything to get out of my grandparents' house, so she married Chichito (che-che-tho.) This new love she met in 8th grade promised to take her away from parents, school, and childhood, not from her pain, her insecurity, her anger, and most of all strength. Instead, when he gave her her first orgasm, he also gave her her the strenght she would need to forget about how she was only 14, married and totally depended on a man who came home drunk, only so he could get more pussy. He gave her a hardness that allowed her to be cut-throat to get what she wanted and deep-throat to get what she needed. He gave her two children by the time she was 16, he gave her tough skin that no longer bled when flesh was pounded against her face, and most of all, he gave her more confusion that would lead her ultimately to connect that hose pipe from the edge of her exhaust to the inside of her car, while she played word find.
non-fiction
i am tired, my shins are killing me, and i wonder how i will continue to prepare for the 5k when i can barely walk. i wonder where james is hiding in this house? tomorrow we are supposed to go to san antonio, i would really love to see my family, my dad's grave site again, heidi, ty and corby, and go by the athlete's foot store.
most importantly, my mind is consumed by a certain individual. i am jealous i suppose. i can't help it. i want to like this person, i want this person to talk to me and like me, but i also want this person to give me a reason to not worry. i feel that when i am around this person, they are smiling whilst they practice their voo-doo chants against me. i suppose i feel that there is something i am missing out, something that is trying to be hidden from me....suppose i am just a paranoid? a mental?
please please please, for the sake of love and argument, don't let me be mean, don't let me be angry, don't let me be shallow, and most of all, don't let me feel insecure. this person is the only person that makes me doubt myself!
How can i begin to tell you what it was like growing up with mom? let's start off with: Lexus ls400. Yes, mother worked hard to get her lexus, her 64,259sq. ft. home we live in, and her $85 highlights.
Mom had originally dropped out of 8th grade. She wanted to do anything to get out of my grandparents' house, so she married Chichito (che-che-tho.) This new love she met in 8th grade promised to take her away from parents, school, and childhood, not from her pain, her insecurity, her anger, and most of all strength. Instead, when he gave her her first orgasm, he also gave her her the strenght she would need to forget about how she was only 14, married and totally depended on a man who came home drunk, only so he could get more pussy. He gave her a hardness that allowed her to be cut-throat to get what she wanted and deep-throat to get what she needed. He gave her two children by the time she was 16, he gave her tough skin that no longer bled when flesh was pounded against her face, and most of all, he gave her more confusion that would lead her ultimately to connect that hose pipe from the edge of her exhaust to the inside of her car, while she played word find.
non-fiction
i am tired, my shins are killing me, and i wonder how i will continue to prepare for the 5k when i can barely walk. i wonder where james is hiding in this house? tomorrow we are supposed to go to san antonio, i would really love to see my family, my dad's grave site again, heidi, ty and corby, and go by the athlete's foot store.
most importantly, my mind is consumed by a certain individual. i am jealous i suppose. i can't help it. i want to like this person, i want this person to talk to me and like me, but i also want this person to give me a reason to not worry. i feel that when i am around this person, they are smiling whilst they practice their voo-doo chants against me. i suppose i feel that there is something i am missing out, something that is trying to be hidden from me....suppose i am just a paranoid? a mental?
please please please, for the sake of love and argument, don't let me be mean, don't let me be angry, don't let me be shallow, and most of all, don't let me feel insecure. this person is the only person that makes me doubt myself!