(no subject)
it has become apparent to me, through my own revelations, and through comments intended as jokes....I am selfish and do not listen as well as i should.
This morning i woke to someone telling me a story. I heard what they were telling me, only i was too wrapped up in curling my hair to understand the magnitude of the situation and story. I wonder how it is that i have become so wrapped up in myself. I wonder what it will take to get my mind off of me and onto the people i really love and care about.
A few years ago, i was sitting in a group of my peers, all of whom i had known very well and for a number of years. We decided to talk about why we were such great friends, what qualities we liked and disliked in each other.
It was my turn to be critiqued. I was told that i was funny/weird and fun to be around. I was told that i always paid for our adventures, and i was told that i am very honest. But i was never told anything i wanted to hear. I made a vow that I would no longer be known for my wild side, my crackhead demeanor, my wallet and expenses, of my funny jokes. I wanted to be known for being nice, sincere, honest, and caring. Involved in that sort of personality is listening, and it has occured to me that i am none those things.
I am sorry to all of you who have witnessed my morph into a monster, i am sorry to all of you who i have let down. I am sorry rachel that i never realized what you were saying, or cared to listen. I am sorry that i never listen to anyone.
I just wanna be nice!(screaming and partly laughing at the drama of it all)
This morning i woke to someone telling me a story. I heard what they were telling me, only i was too wrapped up in curling my hair to understand the magnitude of the situation and story. I wonder how it is that i have become so wrapped up in myself. I wonder what it will take to get my mind off of me and onto the people i really love and care about.
A few years ago, i was sitting in a group of my peers, all of whom i had known very well and for a number of years. We decided to talk about why we were such great friends, what qualities we liked and disliked in each other.
It was my turn to be critiqued. I was told that i was funny/weird and fun to be around. I was told that i always paid for our adventures, and i was told that i am very honest. But i was never told anything i wanted to hear. I made a vow that I would no longer be known for my wild side, my crackhead demeanor, my wallet and expenses, of my funny jokes. I wanted to be known for being nice, sincere, honest, and caring. Involved in that sort of personality is listening, and it has occured to me that i am none those things.
I am sorry to all of you who have witnessed my morph into a monster, i am sorry to all of you who i have let down. I am sorry rachel that i never realized what you were saying, or cared to listen. I am sorry that i never listen to anyone.
I just wanna be nice!(screaming and partly laughing at the drama of it all)