dude... i know this won't really make any difference, and i know it sounds stupid, but i just want to tell you that i love you.
you helped me make sense of a whole lot of shit once and that was more appreciated than even i knew at the time.
but i know exactly how you're feeling now, and it frustrates the hell out of me because i know there's nothing i can do to help.
i see these feelings day in, day out, from two friends who are as dependent on cannabis as you and for almost the exact same reasons. except that dib's still very sociable. but i think that's because he avoids being alone as much as he possibly can.
to my girlfriend who says the exact same things that you said above, does the exact same things to me as you do to dylan, and has the exact same lack of lust for life.
and to myself, who had his first ever recognised panic attack in bed last night. but i'll probably write a whole entry about that later.
like yourself, i've written so many journal entries in my head that never have and probably never will get written. shit, i'm still hung-up on lorna, for fucks sake.
i think yesterday i just realised how fucking awful life is for the first time in many years of just dealing with stuff day by day.
so yeah, i know how you're feeling and i wish there was something i could do to help. but as with sam, all i can do is tell you that i love you and that i'm here for you as much as i can be.
and as heather said, if you ever want to come to the uk, i'm one of the endless sofa's you're welcome to.
you helped me make sense of a whole lot of shit once and that was more appreciated than even i knew at the time.
but i know exactly how you're feeling now, and it frustrates the hell out of me because i know there's nothing i can do to help.
i see these feelings day in, day out, from two friends who are as dependent on cannabis as you and for almost the exact same reasons. except that dib's still very sociable. but i think that's because he avoids being alone as much as he possibly can.
to my girlfriend who says the exact same things that you said above, does the exact same things to me as you do to dylan, and has the exact same lack of lust for life.
and to myself, who had his first ever recognised panic attack in bed last night. but i'll probably write a whole entry about that later.
like yourself, i've written so many journal entries in my head that never have and probably never will get written. shit, i'm still hung-up on lorna, for fucks sake.
i think yesterday i just realised how fucking awful life is for the first time in many years of just dealing with stuff day by day.
so yeah, i know how you're feeling and i wish there was something i could do to help. but as with sam, all i can do is tell you that i love you and that i'm here for you as much as i can be.
and as heather said, if you ever want to come to the uk, i'm one of the endless sofa's you're welcome to.
xox
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