White Collar fic - Can't Be Both (Chapter 5)
Title: Can’t Be Both (Chapter 5)
Author’s Name: sheenianni
Spoilers: Season 3.10 - Countdown
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Clinton Jones, Diana Barrigan, Elizabeth Burke, Sara Ellis, Agent Kramer, June and others
Raiting: PG
Warnings/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~ 2,700 (chapter), ~31,000 (total)
Summary: In the aftermath of Elizabeth’s kidnapping, Neal has to make a life-defining choice - and then he has to face its consequences. Post 3.10 Countdown story.
This story is finished. New chapters will be posted every few days.
Prologue II Chapter 1 II Chapter 2 II Chapter 3 II Chapter 4
As always, this has been beta’ed by GrayWolf 84 from ff.net.
CHAPTER 5
“It’s still a long road, but in the end, she’ll be okay. I’m coming back to work on Monday,” says Peter to Kramer the next morning.
“I’m really glad to hear that, Petey,” says Kramer and takes a sip of his coffee.
They have been talking for almost an hour, undisturbed, while El is going over some things for work on her laptop.
Abandoning the subject of El’s recovery, Kramer fills Peter in on the happenings at the bureau and explains that Keller is still in a coma at the hospital - the doctors are uncertain whether he will ever wake because of the damage due to the shot he took.
“All the accomplices we caught will go to trial in the next two months,” says Kramer. “They’ve been very helpful, trying to put the sole blame on Keller. By spilling information, they’re trying to get deals - “
“As usual,” says Peter in anger and disgust. “The deals we make with this scum make me sick.”
Kramer frowns. “They won’t just get away, Peter. We already had a lot of evidence on Keller; while they won’t receive the maximum sentence, I don’t expect any of them to get less than fifteen years. Elizabeth is more than just an ordinary citizen; she’s an FBI agent’s wife.”
Peter gets up and starts pacing. “What’s wrong with our system, that these men, who would have gladly beaten my wife to oblivion had we not gotten them in time, may get the same sentence as the man who - “
“Stole a seventy years old treasure? Forged a six million dollar painting to cover his tracks?”
Peter sits back on the couch and drops his face into his hands. “I should hate him. He lied to me, he broke my trust and everything I stand for. If not for his deceit, El wouldn’t have been kidnapped.”
“But you don’t hate him,” says Kramer quietly.
Peter looks up and lets out a hollow laugh. “How could I? He saved her. He pulled the stupidest stunt that was almost bound to get him killed just to save El.”
“He betrayed your trust, Petey,” says Kramer gently.
“You think I don’t know that?” opposes Peter bitterly. “Damn it, just thinking about it still makes my blood boil. How could he do that - for months, stare at me with this freaking angelic innocent expression of his, tell me to my face that he didn’t steal the art, while he knew where it was the whole time. Even knowing that he was protecting Mozzie, some part of me just can’t accept that.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” says Kramer firmly. “The fact that Caffrey was covering for his partner in crime doesn’t diminish his guilt for the things he has done.”
Peter sighs.
“Mozzie was more than Neal’s partner in crime,” he says tiredly, not really sure why he is defending Neal. “We know next to nothing about Neal’s life before he turned eighteen, but sometimes I think Moz was the only semblance of family he had left. I can even sort of understand why he did what he did…”
“Peter, your friend got involved in a heist of the century,” says Kramer.
“I know,” says Peter frankly. “He screwed up. Spectacularly.”
“That he did,” says Kramer. “Peter, he completely disregarded the consequences of his actions for the people around him.”
“I know,” says Peter heavily.
They sip their coffee.
“You were right,” says Peter tightly. “About slapping cuffs on Neal - taking down a friend. It hurt. It hurts.”
“You still consider him a friend.”
Peter laughs humorlessly. “It’s mad, isn’t it? This whole freaking situation should be crystal clear. Except it’s not.”
Strangely, this is the first time in three weeks that Peter has talked about Neal. He thinks about how messed up things have become, when he can tell Kramer the things that he would have normally told El, Diana, Reese or even Jones; Kramer, whom a mere month ago he hadn’t seen for good five years and who - despite the undeniable respect Peter holds for him - is really more of an authority or acquaintance than a friend.
“And you know what?” says Peter boldly. “Despite everything, the image of Neal in that orange jumpsuit makes me want to punch something. Think me naïve, but I’m inclined to believe he told us the truth in his confession. He gave up a treasure that people would kill for - that they have killed for. He dragged his feet; he committed crimes along the way that can’t be justified, but still, the fact that he chose us, even though he was forced to decide… “
“You think he honestly chose the law over his crime life?”
“I don’t know why, but I think he did,” says Peter. “And faced with the odds he had, that counts for something with me. Despite the rest, it counts for a lot.”
“I understand your point, Petey,” says Kramer. “But the parole board has revoked Neal’s position. I don’t know how forgiving the law will be because Caffrey committed a lesser crime than he could have.”
“The system isn’t perfect,” says Peter.
“If you could give him another chance - “
“I would,” says Peter without hesitation. “There are - things between us - that may never be all right again. But I would give Neal another chance, even now. Especially now.”
He puts his cup back on the table.
“It’s not fair.”
* * *
Feeling nervous, but hiding it well, Neal is in the back of the courtroom, waiting for the judge to arrive and for his hearing to take place.
As expected, his parole had been revoked last week. Then he was sent to a temporary lockup to await his preliminary hearing - and a trial, in case the hearing goes bad. Neal really hopes it won’t come to that.
Taking a deep breath, he stops himself from imagining the possible worst case scenarios and instead concentrates on the matter at hand.
His lawyer has outdone herself during their talks with the prosecutor, and as a result she has gotten a good half of the charges dropped and some others lowered to a less terrifying level. If nothing goes wrong, Neal will plead guilty to Third Degree Grand Larceny, Third Degree Possession of Stolen Property, Third Degree Burglary and Second Degree Hindering Prosecution. Now he can only hope that the judge will accept that.
He looks sideways and notices that Jennifer looks completely calm and almost bored. Maybe she is - she has undoubtedly been through this countless times before. Neal wishes he had more of her calmness and confidence - but then Jenny is not facing any charges herself. Still, he knows he couldn’t have wished for a better attorney - not just because she has handled his case amazingly so far, but because she actually understands him. Except for their few initial differences, they have been working together really well.
Suddenly, Jenny turns to him and flashes him a small, supportive smile.
‘It will work out,’ she said to him this morning. ‘There are a lot of mitigating circumstances. Just stay calm, be polite, maybe look a little contrite and don’t do anything to piss off the judge. I’ll handle the rest.’
Neal relaxes and gives her an almost imperceptible nod to show her that he’s okay. Jennifer was right - they can do this.
Then the judge enters the chamber.
Oh God.
Neal’s calmness evaporates as soon as he sees the man’s face. Instead, his stomach clenches with a sinking feeling of dread.
It seemed like such a brilliant idea at the time. It was clever, but most of all, it was fun -
And now, he is once again facing the man he conned, and the man can destroy his whole world with just a few words or sentences.
He immediately realizes that despite the changed circumstances, he can’t fall apart now. He still has Jenny on his side, he has several really great character statements and Diana, Jones and El are here to testify for him personally before the judge.
Yet if Neal wasn’t an agnostic, this would be the time when he would start to pray.
* * *
There is a small group of people waiting for him outside. Neal asked them not to be in the courtroom for the conclusion, thinking that if the judge rejected his plea bargain and everything went to hell, he would at least have some time to compose himself before facing them.
Thankfully his plea has held and Neal Caffrey is now a freshly sentenced convict to be returned to prison.
Still, now that he knows the verdict, he can fully appreciate these people who have taken their day off to come here and support him. Seeing them here - so unlike the last time - makes Neal think that maybe this all has been worth it after all.
“So how did it go?” asks Diana immediately as Neal leaves the courtroom with two guards at tow.
Neal turns to the guards with his most charming smile. “Could you guys just give us a couple of minutes, please?”
He is pretty sure that it’s the presence of the FBI agents that makes them grudgingly agree.
When the guards step a few meters aside, Neal once more takes in the whole group. There is June, Diana, Sara, Jones, El - Peter is missing.
Peter’s still missing.
“The judge accepted my plea bargain,” says Neal when they all stare at him expectantly. “He also insisted on a fine for Reckless Endangerment. No other charges were brought up and my sentence will run concurrently.”
“Thank God,” breathes Sara in relief.
“So…?” voices June for the rest of them.
Neal hesitates for a second. “Five years,” he says at last.
“It’s good news,” he says hurriedly when he sees El’s and Sara’s crestfallen expressions and the blank faces of the rest. “I mean it. Five years’s good.” He even manages a perfect smile for their sakes. “Really good.”
The resulting silence soon becomes oppressive.
“Well, you really couldn’t have hoped for anything better,” says Diana toughly at last.
“I know,” agrees Neal with a smile.
“Frankly, I’m really surprised the judge and the prosecutor went for this,” continues Diana with brutal honesty.
“So am I,” admits Neal. “June, when I get out, remind me to buy your niece the very best dinner New York can offer. She was absolutely brilliant - I think when she was done, the prosecutor barely remembered his own name, and the judge appeared to be torn between feeling amused and intimidated.”
“She has the best genes,” says June fondly.
“That she has, my lady. That she has. … I really couldn’t have done it without her. I can’t thank you enough for recommending her.”
“That’s all right, dear,” says June.
A pause.
“So, what’s with the Reckless Endangerment?” asks Jones curiously.
“Ah. That would be the parachuting stunt,” says Neal with a mixture of embarrassment and pride.
“But why? You had already pleaded guilty to four felonies,” says Diana with a frown. “Why bother with a mere misdemeanor?”
Neal actually blushes. “Well… You remember how I jumped out of a judge’s window some year and half ago?”
Diana gapes at him. “You mean… “
“Yep,” says Neal.
“Ouch. These people know how to hold a grudge,” says June.
“Actually, it was fine,” says Neal. “When the judge suggested it, we thought it was the smallest concession possible if it would make him consider my plea. And it worked.”
“Still seems kind of petty,” says Sara with a frown.
Neal’s expression turns into one of deepest seriousness before he speaks quietly: “Sara, the man had the power to turn down my agreement with the prosecutor. I don’t know how things would have gone with a jury, but I can guarantee you the result would have been nowhere as favorable as this. Even within the borders of the plea bargain, the judge could have given me two more years, and we still would have been happy for it. … The first time we met, I embarrassed the man, and yet today he showed me mercy. That makes him nothing less than great.”
Silence.
Finally, Jones clears his throat. “So, a former CI convicted of theft and hindering prosecution.”
“That’s it,” says Neal, taking a deep breath.
“The house will feel empty without you,” says June softly and squeezes his arm.
“It’s not forever,” replies Neal, feeling all awkward and more than a little touched by June’s affection. “It will be fine. Really.”
Silence.
This time it’s Elizabeth who breaks it. “Neal, I’m so sorry - “
“We’ll visit,” says Sara earnestly, and it takes all Neal’s willpower to battle down the sudden nauseous feelings and still appear calm, collected and content, because he has been there before, and he doesn’t want them to visit him, nor does he want to think about the next five years -
He should be grateful. With a previous felony record and given the seriousness of the crimes, his sentence could have easily been five, six times as long. It could have been so much worse -
Five years. And this time, they’ll all know him as an FBI informant. How the hell is he supposed to survive there for five years?
He will probably have to choose between weekly fights and solitary; his mental or physical health, thinks Neal chillingly. And there is no way that visits - even from his best friends - can fix that.
“Really, I’ll be fine,” he says cheerfully and immediately realizes he needs to tune it down a bit. “You don’t have to bother - “
“Don’t you dare,” growls June angrily.
“She’s right,” says Jones. “I don’t know about visiting, but we’ll definitely write to you - “
“And if you don’t write back, I’ll personally come to get you and hover over you until you compose a half-decent reply,” finishes Diana threateningly.
Neal laughs. “So I’m still gonna be your personal “criminal” consultant? Diana, you honor me. I probably wouldn’t mind solving a few cases to pass time - “
Sara smacks his shoulder. “How can you joke about this?” she hisses angrily.
“What else am I supposed to do?”
Neal regrets the words the second they leave his mouth.
“This is awful,” says El quietly. Neal notices that she is on the edge of tears. “If I hadn’t persuaded Peter to take you as your CI - “
“El? Don’t,” interrupts Neal softly. “It was me who came up with the idea, and I screwed it up. But, despite everything that happened, those two years have been wonderful. I don’t regret them. Don’t even suggest that this has been a mistake.”
“But - “ Elizabeth bits her lips and nods fervently. “Okay. But you - we’ll stay in touch, all right? Promise you’ll be safe.”
“I promise,” lies Neal fluently. “Everything will be fine. I - “
“Mr. Caffrey?” one of the guards interrupts him. “You need to come with us now.”
He smiles at them. “Okay.”
Then Sara crosses the distance between them and forcefully plants her lips on his.
Even as he tries to project all his love for her into that simple act, some separate part of his mind feels bitter because of the handcuffs that won’t let him return her hug, and also because there is no way one kiss can be enough for the next five years.
The kiss is desperate, lustful, tender and passionate - and then, in matter of seconds, it’s over.
“I won’t forget you,” says Sara hoarsely.
“I know.”
Goodbye.
“Take care, Neal,” says - June? Diana? Does it really matter? - and Neal exchanges his goodbyes with them until the second guard gives an impatient cough and Neal recognizes it is truly time to go.
One would think, he muses quietly, that he is leaving to war or on some noble dangerous adventurous journey.
The reality is much less gracious.
“It will be fine,” he tells them with one last smile.
Although there are no reporters with their cameras, Neal still keeps his peaceful, composed face as the guards lead him away through the hall and later to the transport car.
He will have years to grieve in his cell every night, after all.
A/N: Love it? Hate it? Please, let me know.