I need to get out of here
I can't really seem to decide what it is that I want out of life and what I want from other people. I just feel so restless and dissatisfied with everything. People who are important to me that I thought I was also important to have already gone back to school without so much as a phone call. Others complain that they hate when people don't return
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So, I'm going to comment on some of your beautiful words.
(BE AWARE, these are just my ideas. I don't mean to preach or make it seem like I have all the answers. I don't. This is just advice I have from personal experience and I hope it can be of some help.)
Also, I wrote so much (because I am a lunatic) so there will be multiple comment posts...probably around five.
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"I can't really seem to decide what it is that I want out of life and what I want from other people. I just feel so restless and dissatisfied with everything."
I've felt this way often and still feel like this sometimes. All I can do is tell you what I think about the subject. You'll have to decide if what I say relates to you.
For the restlessness (I think satisfaction comes after the fact) within the indecision about your life I would say (as dumb as it sounds) you have to actually sit down and think about what it is that you do want out of life. You have to decide. Because the truth of the matter is that its up to you, no one else despite what some may say. It isn't your friends' choice, your parent's choice or your degree's choice. Its yours. What you may wind up loving as a life and a job, you may not have even experienced yet. But when you do it will hit you and you will know that it is meant for you.
For me, I could never hold a 9-5 job. I've realized this about myself after taking time to analyze my ( ... )
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"I'm sick of my parents. I have no relationship with my brother. I no longer run in groups, so I spend hours every week working out alone. I read alone. I write alone. I eat alone. I feel useless and confused. I feel boring, too serious, and full of complaints and worries. Is it so much to ask that I wish that I had friends who called me to invite me to do things?"I think everyone gets tired of their parents. I know I used to get along with my mom really well but this summer we're at each other's throats. Its gotten to the point where I don't even think I can live with her next summer. So this seems pretty normal. So is not really having a relationship with your brother. I don't have any siblings but from just listening to other people this seems like a common issue and generally seems to resolve itself as you get a little older ( ... )
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"I have such huge dreams and goals and lately I've just been thinking that I'd rather just say "fuck it all" and go and work as a stripper, have lots of sex with whomever I want to, go on acid trips, steal from stores, get shitty $7.00/hr jobs and do whatever I feel like because I don't care if I get fired since there will be 100 more jobs just like it; speed, vandalize property, and go naked in public. At least then I would not be bound by so many rules and I would at least have a sense of control over my life. Choosing to be out of the limits of control would be my method. "Woah woah woah! As glamourous and appealing as that life sounds I don't think that you should go out and buy those 7-inch red patent-leather heels just yet (although I am absolutely loving your description & idea ( ... )
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(CONT'D)
"We're supposed to go to school and become educated and learn as much as possible, but thus far, I still have no skills which is why I still work jobs at malls with high schoolers and people who struggle to pay their bills. Instead, what I have is an increasing awareness of how much life sucks for so many people, which makes me angry at myself for even considering for a moment that not getting invited to a party makes my life terrible when people are dying of cancer, working 3 jobs to support a family all while living in a hotel and taking public transportation. Other people are struggling with gender identity, abuse, rape, psychological disorders, severe pain, heartbreak, death, let downs... Everyone has problems, and mine are nowhere close to bad, but it only makes me wonder -- how bad are they feeling? Or do I really feel worse out of obsession with myself and just feel entitled to bitch about small things because the rest of my life is so comparably good? "First of all, you don't feel worse out of obsession with ( ... )
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"Don't fuck with my emotions if all it is is a little ego trip for you. Girls are not conquests, they are people with feelings. Some of them are smart enough to notice your womanizing tactics as the sole goal of your life and are therefore no longer interested in your sensitivity and creativity that other boys lack."Oy. I wish I had ideas about this one ( ... )
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"I think I need a therapist."I've been in therapy and discovered that it doesn't work well with my personality. I'm independent and want to do EVERYTHING myself with no help from anyone. But sometimes it is nice just to have someone to talk to about anything you want without fear of persecution or judgement...most of the time anyway ( ... )
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