if i fail when then i fail but at least i gave you something...
my updates suck a lot lately. also my life is more boring than usual lately. there could be a correlation between the two.
sunday=easter..church then aunt's house. can i just reitterate that my mother and i do NOT get along, even on easter sunday, and that there are a grand total of 2 people in her whole effing family that don't belong in an institution. i'm prolly going to hell for saying that, but maybe not because it's the truth.
monday=sleeping late for the first time in a long time then my uncle's wake in granby..my cousin lynne is probably one of the goofiest people of her age that i know. she's the one wearing the santa hat in my myspace pix. i actually have some semi-funny stories from the wake, which i guess is good that not everyone was crying but i think i'll share them some other time. i did however learn a bit more about my italian background, such as some pretty sweet hand gestures. we got home in time for 24, then i went to bed.
tuesday=up early for my uncle's funeral in westfield, ma. they're not catholic so the service was considerably different than i am used to, the fact that i am USED TO any kind of funeral service does bother me a bit though. chilled with the cousin's/aunts/uncles etc. there were 4 minister people for the mass and though i think they were all a bit queer, one in particular definitely could have been a child molester. he was very strange and kept talking to me and kim, by far the youngest people there...then me kim and dad went to holyoke cuz i haven't even thought about dresses for reception yet. i wasn't in a dress shopping mood though so kim got some candy and we left. gas is like 30 cents cheaper there though. then guess what i did when i got home? NOTHING.
wednesday=up semi-early for the mets v. braves game! we hit little to no traffic on the way down and were there wicked early. we watched batting practice right on the freakkin field! it was sooo flipping cool. mind you, i am a yankees fan til the end, but i haven't been to a major league game since 5th grade so i was pretty much in awe of everything. the game had very little action, there was a perfect game against the mets until the 6th inning, and they ended up losing 2-1. the game was only 2 hours long, actualyl 1h59 to be exact. then we hit a jillion hours of traffic on the way home. i didn't read anything for my thesis like i was gonna. i started playing the alphabet-license plate game once we got into connecticut (like 2 hours later) and i made it so it had to be part of the 6 (or 7) letter/#'s on the plate..i got stuck on I for about 1/2 hour and didn't even finish by the time we got home. o right, guess what i did when we got home? NOTHING.
thursday=today. went to the gym @ 1030ish. started another thesis book. guess what i'm doing tonight? NOTHING.
tomorrow=BU visit then either Joe Tecce's or somewhere downtown for dinner. i<3boston. @ night=NOTHING. i should prolly call BRF again so those nothings = work = money again.
saturday i think i'm gonna visit alyssa maybe. i don't like too many other people. in other news i have less than 2 weeks to decide where i'm going to college, and i have NO FREAKKIN CLUE!
also as much as those minister people at my aunt's church were messed up, i think they helped me answer an important question. i mean, they didn't say this, in fact idk if they said anything like this, but they were so busy making no sense it gave me some time to think. anyway, here's the question if death is supposed to be a reward because we are with God, how come everyone doesn't just kill themselves? okay well how about this answer. why do we have elementary, middle and high school? why don't we just go to college? or better yet, we why don't we just get a job? because they get us ready for what is to come. just going straight to heaven would be like skipping a level in a game. so yea you're farther ahead but you missed out on all the lessons for doing better along the way. people go when it is there time and they are ready. we might not understand why they are ready right then, but in the long run the years spent on earth without those people are nothing compared to the eternity in heaven with them. plus, without the hardships of life, heaven wouldn't be so great.
okay, so there's my little rant of the day...no matter the case, i still feel like this song best fits me right now...
"Martyr Me" (The Get Up Kids)
Just to get by try to stay high it's a good life end of discussion
Hours like sand Holes in my hand I'm a good soul, Martyr me
Wasting my life it's passing me by it's a good fight throw in the towel
The hours I've spent aren't enough to pay rent I'm just sinking water deep
But if all I have is defeat
Tonight if you're awake at all
Tonight if you're awake
Tonight if you're awake at all
Tonight if you're awake
Case of my crime a lack of my time it's a roadblock need a catharsis
Patience is spent a virtue I sent to the basement far from me
The less that I spend on the mess that I'm in could be used towards something of value
The time on my side isn't anything I've ever needed can't you see?
etc...