Prime Minister Howard is doing a door knock in your street, trying to get your vote. What do you do? Hand him a walking frame and tell him to enjoy his retirement.
Pauline Hanson and David Oldfield had sex. True or false? False. She's not from this planet and is possibly asexual.
You've just made yourself a nice big bowl of cereal, added a good tablespoon of sugar, thrown out the empty box, open the fridge. Fuck! No milk! What next? Yoghurt? If no, chuck it all some tuppaware and have toast.
A woman at the petrol station leaves her car to go pay for the petrol. You glance in her car and notice there's a baby in it's carseat in her car. Do you go in gun's blazing and attack this woman, politely tell her it's actually illegal to do that, or mind your own damn business - it's only two minutes, afterall. Is the petrol station on fire? I got left in the car all the time when I was a kid and I turned out ok, and I'm reasonably normal, and I'm still alive.
Vegemite is: Is not as good as promite.
100 Samurai and 100 Vikings meet on a flat grassy field at midday, weapons ready. Who wins? 3 ninja's jump in with a surprise attack and wipe them all out.
Fight for your country or shoot yourself in the foot? Neither. I'm far-sighted with astigmatism in my left eye. I couldn't join any armed forces if I wanted to.
Fight in another country's war or shoot yourself in the foot? Ignoring the previous and assuming it doesn't apply, I'd sooner shoot myself in BOTH feet before fighting in any war.
Bruises: Don't count unless they're green in colour and last more than a week.
Stop and take 1000 photos, or just enjoy the moment for what it is? Enjoy the moment. Some of my most enjoyed time don't have photographic evidence and I have no problem with this.
Cupcake or muffin? There's a difference??
Was the Black Death the result of bubonic plague or something else? Aliens. Definitely aliens.
What's worse: getting your heart broken, or being the heartbreaker? Being heart broken of course! Have you ever heard of someone driving several hundred kilometres, carry weapons and wearing a nappie because they just dumped someone?
Did you know that the best way to keep a babies nails short is to just bite them off? Why not use baby nail cutters? That's what I was taught to do/use when minding children under the age of 12 months.
I use little tiny scissors designed for baby nails (they have rounded tips) on Eduardo. We tried using clippers when he was born (he was born with long fingernails ... not freaky vampire long, but definitely long enough to scratch at his face), and nipped his little fingertip by accident. Gave up on nail clippers after that!
Hand him a walking frame and tell him to enjoy his retirement.
Pauline Hanson and David Oldfield had sex. True or false?
False. She's not from this planet and is possibly asexual.
You've just made yourself a nice big bowl of cereal, added a good tablespoon of sugar, thrown out the empty box, open the fridge. Fuck! No milk! What next?
Yoghurt? If no, chuck it all some tuppaware and have toast.
A woman at the petrol station leaves her car to go pay for the petrol. You glance in her car and notice there's a baby in it's carseat in her car. Do you go in gun's blazing and attack this woman, politely tell her it's actually illegal to do that, or mind your own damn business - it's only two minutes, afterall.
Is the petrol station on fire?
I got left in the car all the time when I was a kid and I turned out ok, and I'm reasonably normal, and I'm still alive.
Vegemite is:
Is not as good as promite.
100 Samurai and 100 Vikings meet on a flat grassy field at midday, weapons ready. Who wins?
3 ninja's jump in with a surprise attack and wipe them all out.
Fight for your country or shoot yourself in the foot?
Neither. I'm far-sighted with astigmatism in my left eye. I couldn't join any armed forces if I wanted to.
Fight in another country's war or shoot yourself in the foot?
Ignoring the previous and assuming it doesn't apply, I'd sooner shoot myself in BOTH feet before fighting in any war.
Bruises:
Don't count unless they're green in colour and last more than a week.
Stop and take 1000 photos, or just enjoy the moment for what it is?
Enjoy the moment. Some of my most enjoyed time don't have photographic evidence and I have no problem with this.
Cupcake or muffin?
There's a difference??
Was the Black Death the result of bubonic plague or something else?
Aliens. Definitely aliens.
What's worse: getting your heart broken, or being the heartbreaker?
Being heart broken of course! Have you ever heard of someone driving several hundred kilometres, carry weapons and wearing a nappie because they just dumped someone?
Did you know that the best way to keep a babies nails short is to just bite them off?
Why not use baby nail cutters? That's what I was taught to do/use when minding children under the age of 12 months.
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Haha, loved that response to Howard doorknocking.
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