make em scream and shout
I'm doing a comparison between Apple, Dell and Microsoft. I've got pages and pages of financial records for the past 5 years and I'm sorting through them. I am ill-equipped for this. I am near tears with frustration. I am grappling with unfamiliar terms and I am drinking wine and it is difficult
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As for the rest, my armchair opinion is that one needs to savor themselves before they can savor parenthood and before they can teach someone else how beautiful life is and how to value the self. I have no idea how much the body is capable of manifesting from the psyche... it's probably different for each of us. But I firmly believe that you cannot love someone else until you love and value yourself.
Who the fuck cares about a $200 pair of jeans designed to fit on an anorexic bitch with no ass -- and no asscrack to peek over the super mega ultra low rise inseam? I'm not advocating jeans up to navels, but I am sick of zippers that only move half an inch to close on a pair of jeans. That's another rant for another day though.
Maybe your doctor's onto something, but what would it hurt to detach from the whole regime and quit all the meds and taper the workouts, and do the month where you eat what you desire?
I see that there's a lot going on in your head, and I can't help but wonder if it is influencing what goes on in your body. External solutions may or may not work, but if you could liberate your head, it seems to me that it's your only permanent and sustainable solution.
You have so much to offer and so much to gain, but it seems like sometimes there's a block, where things like approval (either you of yourself or others of you) issues get in the way. When rubber hits road what matters is what you do and who you are, not what you or others think you are. Real confidence lies in this. For some people they have to acquire this capability. I think you've got it, but you bury it and conceal it behind other layers. Those layers are extraneous crutches and need to go extinct.
by the way... I had ...3 or 4 glasses of champagne this evening and a LOT of sugar, so grain of salt whatever you feel like from the above. off to sleep now to dream of bellinis.
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I've spent the last year doing the natural let-my-body-work-it-out thing (including lots of yoga, full-fat foods, accupuncture, etc), and haven't had a period in all that time which is concerning, since I've always been freakishly regular. Now it's time to stop the passive-ness and I'm okay doing the hormone thing and trying to figure out what's going on. Oddly, the hormones seem to be fixing my hypoglycemia, which is freaking mindblowingly amazing for me. No more shakes! Anyway, I think it IS also making me moody, but it'll even out, I know that.
As for the penultimate paragraph there, it's an ongoing process, this self-acceptance/real confidence thing, but one to which I'm absolutely comitted. Progress is constantly made. Thank godness.
Aaand rock ON with your champagne self. Happy birthday celebrations!!!
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