make em scream and shout
I'm doing a comparison between Apple, Dell and Microsoft. I've got pages and pages of financial records for the past 5 years and I'm sorting through them. I am ill-equipped for this. I am near tears with frustration. I am grappling with unfamiliar terms and I am drinking wine and it is difficult.
Today I went jean shopping, which was also difficult. I feel obese and revolting and squeezing into $200 pairs of jeans which fail to do magic and make me perfect is disappointing. Not really. But you know what I mean.
Drinking wine happens when I give up on myself and declare that I will never be other than I am. It happens when I realize I will never be small like my sisters. With each sip I am saying, "...I accept, and I don't care." Later I will care again, and regret the sips and be angry at myself for them, but that's later, not now.
I'm on another round of hormones, since the last round didn't work and all the tests came back normal. My doc shook her head and said this is her last idea, and after this she's sending me to a fertility specialist. This is not fun. I'm on the same pills they give menopausal women. Average weight gain during the month of treatment: 10lbs. Let's not talk about that.
At least work is busy and the colder months are approaching and things exist like Guitar Hero, New Yorker Magazines, Saturdays and sushi.
Today I went jean shopping, which was also difficult. I feel obese and revolting and squeezing into $200 pairs of jeans which fail to do magic and make me perfect is disappointing. Not really. But you know what I mean.
Drinking wine happens when I give up on myself and declare that I will never be other than I am. It happens when I realize I will never be small like my sisters. With each sip I am saying, "...I accept, and I don't care." Later I will care again, and regret the sips and be angry at myself for them, but that's later, not now.
I'm on another round of hormones, since the last round didn't work and all the tests came back normal. My doc shook her head and said this is her last idea, and after this she's sending me to a fertility specialist. This is not fun. I'm on the same pills they give menopausal women. Average weight gain during the month of treatment: 10lbs. Let's not talk about that.
At least work is busy and the colder months are approaching and things exist like Guitar Hero, New Yorker Magazines, Saturdays and sushi.