I'm so tired of beng all alone.
I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being sad. I'm just tired. I can say that I don't have anyone and mean it. I am all alone in this world. No one gives a damn about me. My mom lives in the same house as me and doesn't even notice the downward spiral I've been on. I would give everything I have just to have one person care. Just to have one true friend. One person ask me how I am and listen. I remember singing "Nobody loves me. Nobody cares." over and over as a small child. Flash forward to being 23 and I still feel the same. I always prayed for 1 person to love me. I never got that. Just a mom and a sister that beat and use me. People that say they like me, but do they ever call or text me? Do they ever ask me to do things? Do they even want to be around me? No. I put in effort, but I'm the only one that does. It's not like I'm a downer or anything. I try really hard to make people happy. No one does that for me though.
I am so sick of being in my room. It's to the point that I go in the living room to get a "break." I'm sick of being here alone. I'm sick of my mom being the only person I see. I want to be a normal 23 year old. I want to go out. I want to have fun, but apparently I'm not good enough for anyone want to go out with. I try. I really do. It makes it so much worse. What is it about me that makes it so I've never been able to make friends? Am I just not supposed to be happy? I don't get it. It's so hard.
I am so fucked up. I know this, but does this mean I'm not worthy of love? Of friendship? Of getting to be happy? Why me? Why is my life like this? I'm so tired of it all. I'm so tired of being me. I just wish for one day that I could be normal and have friends. Go out and have fun. I don't know how much longer I can keep living if this is what my life is. For years I would wish and hope for a better life. Now I give up on doing that. I have no more hope. I'm just too tired to do that anymore.
I am so sick of being in my room. It's to the point that I go in the living room to get a "break." I'm sick of being here alone. I'm sick of my mom being the only person I see. I want to be a normal 23 year old. I want to go out. I want to have fun, but apparently I'm not good enough for anyone want to go out with. I try. I really do. It makes it so much worse. What is it about me that makes it so I've never been able to make friends? Am I just not supposed to be happy? I don't get it. It's so hard.
I am so fucked up. I know this, but does this mean I'm not worthy of love? Of friendship? Of getting to be happy? Why me? Why is my life like this? I'm so tired of it all. I'm so tired of being me. I just wish for one day that I could be normal and have friends. Go out and have fun. I don't know how much longer I can keep living if this is what my life is. For years I would wish and hope for a better life. Now I give up on doing that. I have no more hope. I'm just too tired to do that anymore.