operation JUMP OUT OF A PLANE
I woke up super excited today. Why? Because I knew today was the day I was jumping out of a plane. That's right, folks: heavy people skydive, too.
So we went to this place about 10 minutes from Philly (In Jersey) called Freefall Adventures. Remember when former president Bush decided to skydive? This is where they took his old ass. In the plane it said "president bush sat here." Thanks but I'm not really concentrating on that. I'm looking out the window in shock over what I'm about to do.
Let me just rewind to when we actually got there. It took 42730 yrs to get everyone checked in (I went with a group of about 17 people from work.) This loser that didn't own any shoes (not kidding) took us to get "briefed." It was basically a "You could die, don't be stupid" sorta lecture. After that we were ready to roll. So la la la I'm seeing people get called to go. Before I knew it, our whole group had gone and people that were coming in after me/my sister/my friend, Duwanna, were going. So ofcourse the ONLY black people in there had to flip our shit because they skipped us. They told us 20 minutes. After an hour, I flipped my shit again to the lady behind the computer. She tried to act like it was no big deal "oh haha you're next" NO HAHA'ing to me, ya big southern Jersey piece o' trash. I'm tryin' to get my jump on, have lunch, and go home. YOU and your personal phone calls have got to go. So we were next. But I was still annoyed.
Ok, now this is where I left off (the plane.) It was so nervewracking knowing your destination in the sky was 1300 feet. That's basically 2 miles above the ground (read: fucking HIGH.) Once we got up there, they opened the door and people were just jumpin out. I was like "holy shit...wait...where did they...er...wow" and my instructor was like "OUR TURN" and basically pushed me out of the plane. I was 1300 feet in the air dropping down at 120 mph. My cheeks(butt and otherwise) were flappin', my hair was in knots and I forgot one thing: to breathe. ROFL It was so intense I had to take a minute to take it all in. After that minute, I finally began breathing. It was fucking rad. I've never experienced that sorta rush in my life. My instructor and I couldnt hear each other until he pulled the parachute (I was supposed to pull it but alas, I can't do anything right.) My first words to him were, "I can't wait to eat my hoagie." WHO SAYS THAT?!?! I just jumped out of a plane and I'm talking about food. God save me. So he starts baggin' up and tells me to prepare for the landing. I landed on my feet for .3 seconds and then fell back on my ass. Typical Shay. And that was the end. I might have to go again next year. It's unbelievable, really. I think everyone should atleast try it.
k. i'm winded (literally)
So we went to this place about 10 minutes from Philly (In Jersey) called Freefall Adventures. Remember when former president Bush decided to skydive? This is where they took his old ass. In the plane it said "president bush sat here." Thanks but I'm not really concentrating on that. I'm looking out the window in shock over what I'm about to do.
Let me just rewind to when we actually got there. It took 42730 yrs to get everyone checked in (I went with a group of about 17 people from work.) This loser that didn't own any shoes (not kidding) took us to get "briefed." It was basically a "You could die, don't be stupid" sorta lecture. After that we were ready to roll. So la la la I'm seeing people get called to go. Before I knew it, our whole group had gone and people that were coming in after me/my sister/my friend, Duwanna, were going. So ofcourse the ONLY black people in there had to flip our shit because they skipped us. They told us 20 minutes. After an hour, I flipped my shit again to the lady behind the computer. She tried to act like it was no big deal "oh haha you're next" NO HAHA'ing to me, ya big southern Jersey piece o' trash. I'm tryin' to get my jump on, have lunch, and go home. YOU and your personal phone calls have got to go. So we were next. But I was still annoyed.
Ok, now this is where I left off (the plane.) It was so nervewracking knowing your destination in the sky was 1300 feet. That's basically 2 miles above the ground (read: fucking HIGH.) Once we got up there, they opened the door and people were just jumpin out. I was like "holy shit...wait...where did they...er...wow" and my instructor was like "OUR TURN" and basically pushed me out of the plane. I was 1300 feet in the air dropping down at 120 mph. My cheeks(butt and otherwise) were flappin', my hair was in knots and I forgot one thing: to breathe. ROFL It was so intense I had to take a minute to take it all in. After that minute, I finally began breathing. It was fucking rad. I've never experienced that sorta rush in my life. My instructor and I couldnt hear each other until he pulled the parachute (I was supposed to pull it but alas, I can't do anything right.) My first words to him were, "I can't wait to eat my hoagie." WHO SAYS THAT?!?! I just jumped out of a plane and I'm talking about food. God save me. So he starts baggin' up and tells me to prepare for the landing. I landed on my feet for .3 seconds and then fell back on my ass. Typical Shay. And that was the end. I might have to go again next year. It's unbelievable, really. I think everyone should atleast try it.
k. i'm winded (literally)