You thought your first time was rough ....
Okay, Mas' first day home and I am on first watch. What a long day. I have a new found respect for nurses and the like, I know maybe 1/100th of what they do day to day and I am drained.
I had to have my first solo day though, as we all will. There is a bit of help coming throughout the week and I am very thankful of that. I felt sort of lost but Ma trusted my hand and we got through things alright. Shaken but not stirred.
My watch started about ten last night when the last of the visitors and helping hands left, and I know I'm not even close to done. I have slept where I could but not much, it's one of those feelings that if I let my guard down there won't be anyone else there. I can't rely on Mas' strength, she needs guiding hands at this point and I'm not totally confident in others. Actually, it's more of their lack of confidence that worries me. I keep hearing "I don't know what I'll do." ... Well neither did I and I got it done.
I just want to belt out "do you think I am comfortable helping mom in an out to the bathroom?"
anyway
Bit of a fiasco when Ma finally arrived. Why she was denied a Am-B-Care ride, I do not know. But she had to be brought in my sisters car. At this point, there was no wheelchair and after a rather stressful day, nasty heat, and being overtired there was no way she would make the walk to the door, let alone the stairs.
I was at work thinking all was well, but not quite.
After about two seconds of the helpless debate that seemed to occor, I would have taken over and just carried her in myself. Fuck it, here's the hurt, there's the cure, clear me a path lets go. Too many back problems and little this and that's prevented that from happening. Maybe rushing into something like that wouldn't have been the best, but I don't know.
Well, she's here that's all that matters. .. i'm sitting here with with a baby monitor and I just heard her burp.
I'm starting to relax, which I need more then anything, maybe I'll go lay down.
i have another solo day Tuesday but will have a visiting nurse here at some point.
I had to have my first solo day though, as we all will. There is a bit of help coming throughout the week and I am very thankful of that. I felt sort of lost but Ma trusted my hand and we got through things alright. Shaken but not stirred.
My watch started about ten last night when the last of the visitors and helping hands left, and I know I'm not even close to done. I have slept where I could but not much, it's one of those feelings that if I let my guard down there won't be anyone else there. I can't rely on Mas' strength, she needs guiding hands at this point and I'm not totally confident in others. Actually, it's more of their lack of confidence that worries me. I keep hearing "I don't know what I'll do." ... Well neither did I and I got it done.
I just want to belt out "do you think I am comfortable helping mom in an out to the bathroom?"
anyway
Bit of a fiasco when Ma finally arrived. Why she was denied a Am-B-Care ride, I do not know. But she had to be brought in my sisters car. At this point, there was no wheelchair and after a rather stressful day, nasty heat, and being overtired there was no way she would make the walk to the door, let alone the stairs.
I was at work thinking all was well, but not quite.
After about two seconds of the helpless debate that seemed to occor, I would have taken over and just carried her in myself. Fuck it, here's the hurt, there's the cure, clear me a path lets go. Too many back problems and little this and that's prevented that from happening. Maybe rushing into something like that wouldn't have been the best, but I don't know.
Well, she's here that's all that matters. .. i'm sitting here with with a baby monitor and I just heard her burp.
I'm starting to relax, which I need more then anything, maybe I'll go lay down.
i have another solo day Tuesday but will have a visiting nurse here at some point.