Monday, Tuesday, Weds
Ma was taken out of the nursing home Saturday due to an extreemely low white blood cell count. Admitted to the hospital and put under not entirely ICU style watch but "severe panic mode for the family" watch.
Her immune system was not functioning which meant she needed to be in a more sterile environment then the nursing home could provide. Problem was that after 72 hours, if she was not back, her room would be lost. Well here it is late Tues night and the room is gone; she has beeen cleared to leave the hospital, but right now has nowhere to go. She wants to come home but this house and scheduling is not set for her. It would be nice, but there are a lot of ducks to get into order .. which is being worked on at this moment.
Aside from around the clock attendees ... myself, my two sisters, and Nicki, there are mobility and accessability issues. Now the names above, are the three that live here, Nicki, Myself and one sister (Joanne), plus another sister (Sue) that will cover two days a week, have the seven days of the week covered. These are not absoloutes until final confirmations are secure. (i.e. fuck you, I CANNOT work on this day, no further discussion)
There are also the internal issues that need to be addressed, specifically, mobility. Mom needs to get from here to wherever, namely the "little Mamma Shaws' Room" in less then a huff. Perhaps a half a huff. Whatever ... plans are in motion, the expert designers and builders are on point .. just the assesment needs doing and quickly.
This needs to go, that needs to change. Done, where is my crowbar, get the cement ready.
So right now she is going to be in a temp spot, these changes are going to be made in prep and she is coming home.
The reality of the issue.
Mom is done with the radation treatments, was given a congrats and a farewell by those attendees. The doctor has said that chemo will no longer be needed.
He has done everything he can do.
Continuing either of these treatments is basically a moot point. It won't do a thing. The doctor has told us that he has done everything he can do.
I don't need a degree to know what that means.
I knew what that meant on June 6th 2006; yep 6-6-6 has a whole new connitation for me. That was the day I learnned of the lung cancer, that was the day I learned that it spread to her liver. That was the day I learned about the 3 months to one year life expectancy.
Ma learned the same thing on that day. She told me then on the way home that in the worst case, she did not want a feeding tube and that I would be the one to make that final desicion.
Fast forward to this past Saturday when she was admitted into Mercy Hospital ... Routine paperwork and verbal confirmation to save the hospital from a lawsuit .... She is there for a blood transfusion due to the white blood cells yadda, yadda, yadda .. "in the case of something happening, do you want life support?
5 Siblings were there; brother from CA, sister from Boston, two local sisters one brother and his wife, (my sister in law that tried to start shit in the room ... I have not had it out with her yet on this one but she has some shit coiming from me in a "how fucking dare you?" capasity ..
A vehemit "NO!" was the response from Ma.
"Who do you wish to have the final say?"
Without hesitation, knowing full well who was in the room and who was not, ... "My son John has final say."
I wasn't there.
I was told a few hours after the fact by my brother Charlie from CA who flew in earlier this week to have his "one moment" with Ma. He knew he had to do this thing. He knew this would be the last trip for him to see her. He needed that. He needed to tell someone that, that someone happened to be me.
A strange day indeed. I became more-so of what I have always hated being .. "the guy to go to."
I was for Ma in a sort of mannor, I was for Charlie and in the fourthcioming confrontation with my sister-in-law the go to guy for my sister Joanne.
What do I know that all this means?
Mom is ready. Mom knows what is going to happen, Mom wants to come home for one last time. Mom is waiting to be with Dad again.
This is something she has actually said in the last few days. "She wants to be with Dad."
She has made her peace.
She's ready.
I'm okay with that ... we'll see how everything goes.
*************
One final note, in a kind of ironic message .. one of the doctors I saw the other day and actually met on the day of the original heart murmer, shared a last name with someone I know. Something that Mom pointed out .. "didn't you know a (maiden name whose old address Iher on the scanner)"
Yes I did.
Seeing him the other night I am asked the same question and told her yes. ... And she would like to see you. There are old issues that are now gone, there are certian sins that are forgiven and there are histories that are well remembered (Niagra, Niagra on VHS).
All is well if .......... she ........... wants to see her.
It's not a problem.
Well this round of tear jerking is done. it's too late to spell check, so if you don't like it .. fuck you, my mom has cancer, get the bug out of your ass.
Her immune system was not functioning which meant she needed to be in a more sterile environment then the nursing home could provide. Problem was that after 72 hours, if she was not back, her room would be lost. Well here it is late Tues night and the room is gone; she has beeen cleared to leave the hospital, but right now has nowhere to go. She wants to come home but this house and scheduling is not set for her. It would be nice, but there are a lot of ducks to get into order .. which is being worked on at this moment.
Aside from around the clock attendees ... myself, my two sisters, and Nicki, there are mobility and accessability issues. Now the names above, are the three that live here, Nicki, Myself and one sister (Joanne), plus another sister (Sue) that will cover two days a week, have the seven days of the week covered. These are not absoloutes until final confirmations are secure. (i.e. fuck you, I CANNOT work on this day, no further discussion)
There are also the internal issues that need to be addressed, specifically, mobility. Mom needs to get from here to wherever, namely the "little Mamma Shaws' Room" in less then a huff. Perhaps a half a huff. Whatever ... plans are in motion, the expert designers and builders are on point .. just the assesment needs doing and quickly.
This needs to go, that needs to change. Done, where is my crowbar, get the cement ready.
So right now she is going to be in a temp spot, these changes are going to be made in prep and she is coming home.
The reality of the issue.
Mom is done with the radation treatments, was given a congrats and a farewell by those attendees. The doctor has said that chemo will no longer be needed.
He has done everything he can do.
Continuing either of these treatments is basically a moot point. It won't do a thing. The doctor has told us that he has done everything he can do.
I don't need a degree to know what that means.
I knew what that meant on June 6th 2006; yep 6-6-6 has a whole new connitation for me. That was the day I learnned of the lung cancer, that was the day I learned that it spread to her liver. That was the day I learned about the 3 months to one year life expectancy.
Ma learned the same thing on that day. She told me then on the way home that in the worst case, she did not want a feeding tube and that I would be the one to make that final desicion.
Fast forward to this past Saturday when she was admitted into Mercy Hospital ... Routine paperwork and verbal confirmation to save the hospital from a lawsuit .... She is there for a blood transfusion due to the white blood cells yadda, yadda, yadda .. "in the case of something happening, do you want life support?
5 Siblings were there; brother from CA, sister from Boston, two local sisters one brother and his wife, (my sister in law that tried to start shit in the room ... I have not had it out with her yet on this one but she has some shit coiming from me in a "how fucking dare you?" capasity ..
A vehemit "NO!" was the response from Ma.
"Who do you wish to have the final say?"
Without hesitation, knowing full well who was in the room and who was not, ... "My son John has final say."
I wasn't there.
I was told a few hours after the fact by my brother Charlie from CA who flew in earlier this week to have his "one moment" with Ma. He knew he had to do this thing. He knew this would be the last trip for him to see her. He needed that. He needed to tell someone that, that someone happened to be me.
A strange day indeed. I became more-so of what I have always hated being .. "the guy to go to."
I was for Ma in a sort of mannor, I was for Charlie and in the fourthcioming confrontation with my sister-in-law the go to guy for my sister Joanne.
What do I know that all this means?
Mom is ready. Mom knows what is going to happen, Mom wants to come home for one last time. Mom is waiting to be with Dad again.
This is something she has actually said in the last few days. "She wants to be with Dad."
She has made her peace.
She's ready.
I'm okay with that ... we'll see how everything goes.
*************
One final note, in a kind of ironic message .. one of the doctors I saw the other day and actually met on the day of the original heart murmer, shared a last name with someone I know. Something that Mom pointed out .. "didn't you know a (maiden name whose old address Iher on the scanner)"
Yes I did.
Seeing him the other night I am asked the same question and told her yes. ... And she would like to see you. There are old issues that are now gone, there are certian sins that are forgiven and there are histories that are well remembered (Niagra, Niagra on VHS).
All is well if .......... she ........... wants to see her.
It's not a problem.
Well this round of tear jerking is done. it's too late to spell check, so if you don't like it .. fuck you, my mom has cancer, get the bug out of your ass.