FF: LWM Aspect- Confused, Curious Meg
While I'm still not quite certain that I fullfilled the original request, here is one more thing to cross off my languishing Aspects list.
37: Confused/curious, Meg, trying to figure out the relationships in the Sam/Janet/Art/Karen/Darya household. From Wendy.
++ Meg Austin and Egeria ++
(9-8-02)
There are so many of them! Running and playing and squealing and barking in a cacophony of noise and energy. Most of them have avoided me all day, no doubt leery of the creature that now lives inside me. There is nothing but amusement and fascination from Egeria, and she has remained in the background while I feel out the situation.
Most of the time, that's what the old To'kra does, sits back and observes, soaking it all in, relearning life after so long in torturous exile. My sympathy for my symbiote radiates through my psyche, and her thankfulness echoes back like ripples on water. It's taken some time, but I'm growing used to her presence as an integrated part of me.
It's strange really. Before Egeria, my last truly coherent memory is seeing Garcia moving across the crowded club in Chicago, faster than blowing smoke and just as hard to catch. Since then, I've heard the stories of what happened, but it's all fuzzy, like a movie I watched a long time ago. Even the conversation that led to my blending with my symbiote feels as though it happened to someone else.
Even as Egeria prepares to speak to me, there is a shrieking flurry of bodies, some of them human and some of them furry. It's sadly amusing to watch the entire group of them screech to a halt and stare at me.
Today is Emily's fifth birthday. She is part of a reawakening that few understand. There are more like her, but they remain rare and wonderful. I know some of the reasons that there are few of them, or at least fewer than there should be.
Small hands on my thigh surprise me, but even more surprising is that it's the birthday girl who has braved her fear. Guileless blue eyes stare at me with a piercing, inherent knowledge that Egeria remembers well. We have spent so much time healing my broken body, that there has been little chance for me to integrate so many thousands of years of memories.
Seven weeks is a very short period of time on Egeria's long path.
'May I speak with the child?' She asks me gently, almost hesitantly, and I willingly give her control. Her respect of me has made this transition much easier than it could have been. There is the strange disassociation of my symbiote taking over my body and my own self being set to the side somehow.
"I am so very sorry that I frighten all of you," Egeria mourns in that strange, echoing tone that is so indicative of my very different-ness. They all shy away… except for Emily and the largest of the female dogs. "Though I cannot deny the reasons why you fear."
"Why are we afraid?"
So brave, so guileless. Egeria can't help but respond to Emily, stroking the red hair and smiling sadly. "My brothers and sisters and I exploited humanity." Gently, I remind the old one that the children may have trouble understanding the big words. "We did awful things to people. We hunted them and hurt them and scared them." The children are riveted, but Egeria's attention is only for Emily. "You remember how that feels, despite the fact that it never actually happened to you."
Wide-eyed, Emily nods hesitantly, as though she doesn't quite understand.
"A long time ago, there were many like you, the Gifted Ones. My family and I discovered that they could not be corrupted the way other people could. We could not hurt them in the same ways that we could others."
Egeria's pain is a real as my own, the memories blasting through me as her control slips.
"So many died. Oh, child, I'm so sorry for what I helped do to your ancestors. I'm so very sorry."
"You are the one that stopped being bad," Emily muses half to us and half to herself. "Grampa Jacob told me that story, but I didn't know that it was you. You and your brothers and sisters were bad, but you stopped being bad." She's turning it over in her mind and I watch the Goldston twins slink over to press into her.
"Yes," Egeria breathes, guilt radiating out from her like ocean waves, towering and deadly. "But that does not forgo what I did."
Emily nods sagely and puts her small hands on our forearm. "Mommy says that when you do something naughty, you get punished. Did you get punished?"
Memories of an eternity in an urn, buried beneath Ra's temple swirl in our combined memories and I flinch. "Yes," Egeria answers honestly.
"Then it's all done, right? You were naughty and you were punished and now you will not do it again."
Even after endless lifetimes, the Old One can still be startled. Wherever my consciousness resides while Egeria has the reins, I smile in quiet delight at the ripples of emotion from my companion.
Clearing her throat, Egeria speaks once more, her tone soft and vulnerable. "Perhaps it is that simple, Emily. Thank you."
"Welcome!" The girl crows in delight, giving the captured arm a squeeze and herding her fellow young creatures off. I can feel the change, the thoughtfulness in Egeria as she fades to the background once more.
'Perhaps it can truly be that simple.'
I can't help but silently agree.
37: Confused/curious, Meg, trying to figure out the relationships in the Sam/Janet/Art/Karen/Darya household. From Wendy.
++ Meg Austin and Egeria ++
(9-8-02)
There are so many of them! Running and playing and squealing and barking in a cacophony of noise and energy. Most of them have avoided me all day, no doubt leery of the creature that now lives inside me. There is nothing but amusement and fascination from Egeria, and she has remained in the background while I feel out the situation.
Most of the time, that's what the old To'kra does, sits back and observes, soaking it all in, relearning life after so long in torturous exile. My sympathy for my symbiote radiates through my psyche, and her thankfulness echoes back like ripples on water. It's taken some time, but I'm growing used to her presence as an integrated part of me.
It's strange really. Before Egeria, my last truly coherent memory is seeing Garcia moving across the crowded club in Chicago, faster than blowing smoke and just as hard to catch. Since then, I've heard the stories of what happened, but it's all fuzzy, like a movie I watched a long time ago. Even the conversation that led to my blending with my symbiote feels as though it happened to someone else.
Even as Egeria prepares to speak to me, there is a shrieking flurry of bodies, some of them human and some of them furry. It's sadly amusing to watch the entire group of them screech to a halt and stare at me.
Today is Emily's fifth birthday. She is part of a reawakening that few understand. There are more like her, but they remain rare and wonderful. I know some of the reasons that there are few of them, or at least fewer than there should be.
Small hands on my thigh surprise me, but even more surprising is that it's the birthday girl who has braved her fear. Guileless blue eyes stare at me with a piercing, inherent knowledge that Egeria remembers well. We have spent so much time healing my broken body, that there has been little chance for me to integrate so many thousands of years of memories.
Seven weeks is a very short period of time on Egeria's long path.
'May I speak with the child?' She asks me gently, almost hesitantly, and I willingly give her control. Her respect of me has made this transition much easier than it could have been. There is the strange disassociation of my symbiote taking over my body and my own self being set to the side somehow.
"I am so very sorry that I frighten all of you," Egeria mourns in that strange, echoing tone that is so indicative of my very different-ness. They all shy away… except for Emily and the largest of the female dogs. "Though I cannot deny the reasons why you fear."
"Why are we afraid?"
So brave, so guileless. Egeria can't help but respond to Emily, stroking the red hair and smiling sadly. "My brothers and sisters and I exploited humanity." Gently, I remind the old one that the children may have trouble understanding the big words. "We did awful things to people. We hunted them and hurt them and scared them." The children are riveted, but Egeria's attention is only for Emily. "You remember how that feels, despite the fact that it never actually happened to you."
Wide-eyed, Emily nods hesitantly, as though she doesn't quite understand.
"A long time ago, there were many like you, the Gifted Ones. My family and I discovered that they could not be corrupted the way other people could. We could not hurt them in the same ways that we could others."
Egeria's pain is a real as my own, the memories blasting through me as her control slips.
"So many died. Oh, child, I'm so sorry for what I helped do to your ancestors. I'm so very sorry."
"You are the one that stopped being bad," Emily muses half to us and half to herself. "Grampa Jacob told me that story, but I didn't know that it was you. You and your brothers and sisters were bad, but you stopped being bad." She's turning it over in her mind and I watch the Goldston twins slink over to press into her.
"Yes," Egeria breathes, guilt radiating out from her like ocean waves, towering and deadly. "But that does not forgo what I did."
Emily nods sagely and puts her small hands on our forearm. "Mommy says that when you do something naughty, you get punished. Did you get punished?"
Memories of an eternity in an urn, buried beneath Ra's temple swirl in our combined memories and I flinch. "Yes," Egeria answers honestly.
"Then it's all done, right? You were naughty and you were punished and now you will not do it again."
Even after endless lifetimes, the Old One can still be startled. Wherever my consciousness resides while Egeria has the reins, I smile in quiet delight at the ripples of emotion from my companion.
Clearing her throat, Egeria speaks once more, her tone soft and vulnerable. "Perhaps it is that simple, Emily. Thank you."
"Welcome!" The girl crows in delight, giving the captured arm a squeeze and herding her fellow young creatures off. I can feel the change, the thoughtfulness in Egeria as she fades to the background once more.
'Perhaps it can truly be that simple.'
I can't help but silently agree.