Soba ni Ite - Part Eight
Title: Soba ni Ite
Author: Shattered Tenshi
Rating: NC-17 (R this chapter)
Fandom: JE
Genre: AU, Romance
Pairing: Yokoo Wataru x Fujigaya Taisuke, Kitayama Hiromitsu x Fujigaya Taisuke
Warnings: //points at rating// As well, an ending that may not make everyone happy. I believe the warnings I need to apply to this will be spoilers, so highlight the line right below if you want to know them before reading. Implied rape, character death
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight (end)
Soba ni Ite
By Shattered Tenshi
Part Eight
"Are you sure you're wearing enough?"
Taisuke turned around at Wataru's question and tilted his head for a second before understanding what the other had meant. He smiled. "I'll be fine, Wataru-sama. This is similar to what I wore last winter anyways, and I managed then."
Wataru made a face. "I don't want you getting sick though." He quickly found one of his extra outer hakama and placed it on Taisuke's shoulders. "This winter feels colder than the last one anyways."
About to protest, Taisuke thought better of it and just smiled. "Thank you, Wataru-sama..."
Sitting down on the tatami, Wataru reached out and pulled Taisuke into his arms, making the other sit with him. "Was it winter when we first...?"
Taisuke understood Wataru's unfinished question. "It was near the end of winter."
"Still, nearly one year since then..." Wataru buried his face against Taisuke's neck from behind. "Time passes by really quickly."
"It does," Taisuke agreed softly.
Wataru brushed his lips against Taisuke's ear. "Lie down for a bit with me?"
A light blush appeared on Taisuke's cheek. "It's still early, Wataru-sama. What if someone comes by?"
"It's okay," Wataru replied and started to pull Taisuke down with him.
"On the tatami? At least let me roll out the futon..."
Chuckling in amusement, Wataru commented, "Wouldn't that made it weirder, Tai-chan? You're the one who said it's still early."
Taisuke's cheeks turned a darker shade of red. "O-oh...right..." Hesitating a little, he finally laid down with Wataru, staying in the other's arms.
"By the way, Tai-chan..."
"Mh?"
Wataru paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm visiting Hiro tomorrow."
"...oh."
Nuzzling Taisuke, Wataru murmured, "Do you have anything you want me to tell him? I know the two of you won't meet again, but..."
Taisuke smiled softly and shook his head. "It's alright, Wataru-sama. I don't think...I don't think Hiromitsu-sama would want to hear from me. Not meeting I think means not hearing about each other as well. It's been sometime since Hiromitsu-sama got married anyways. I don't want to ruin anything for him."
"Why are you always so thoughtful, Tai-chan?" Wataru asked, though it was kind of a rhetorical question because he knew Taisuke well enough to know the other was just like this. "I'm telling you about Hiro though. Should I stop?"
There was a small pause before Taisuke mumbled, "No. I want to know that Hiromitsu-sama is doing well."
"You're good at making me feel jealous," Wataru said, which made Taisuke crane his head back to look at the other. "Don't worry. You know I won't do anything. Have I not proved myself enough yet?"
"I didn't mean that," Taisuke replied in a small voice.
"Good." Wataru made Taisuke turn and face him so he could press their lips together gently. "I'm glad you're by my side, Tai-chan..."
"...un, I'm glad too, Wataru-sama."
"...they say he's serious this time, so please be careful, Wataru."
"I understand, hahaue."
Taisuke stood in front of the door and wondered if he had listened in on something he shouldn't be listening to. He wasn’t sure what Wataru and Hatsune were talking about though, so maybe it's fine? Either way, he cleared his throat and spoke up, "Wataru-sama? May I come in?"
There was a brief silence on the other side of the room before he heard Wataru's voice. "Come in, Taisuke."
Bowing his head, Taisuke then slid open the door and stepped into the room. "Sorry for the disturbance, but Wataru-sama had requested a snack earlier on and it's prepared now," he said as he set the tray that had a plate of dango and a pot of tea along with an empty on it. "Would Hatsune-sama like to join Wataru-sama?"
Hatsune smiled but rejected the offer. "I've finished speaking with Wataru, and I actually want to visit Aya now, so I'll be leaving." She placed a hand on Taisuke's shoulder once she got up. "Take care of yourself, Taisuke-kun. Be careful, alright?"
Taisuke blinked, not understanding why Hatsune was saying this specially to him since she never really did that before, but nodded his head. "I will, Hatsune-sama."
Once Hatsune had left, Taisuke slid the door back closed and sat down with Wataru. "What were Hatsune-sama and you talking about? Hatsune-sama seemed very serious, and she never really told me to specially take care like that before...”"
Wataru just shook his head. "Probably since now it's winter, she's just being overly worried about people getting sick. It's nothing."
Taisuke felt that there was more to it, but didn't push Wataru to talk. He knew there were things that he shouldn't know or worry about, so he'll leave it be. Picking up the pot, he poured out a cup of tea for Wataru. He jumped a little though when he felt something poking his mouth. Glancing down, he realized Wataru was offering him the dango.
"It's your snack, Wataru-sama."
Grinning, Wataru replied, "Yes, but you also like it too, so go ahead and eat one?"
Taisuke made a slight face before giving in and parted his lips to eat a piece of dango. To Wataru's question of whether it was good or not, Taisuke just nodded his head.
They ate in silence, and it wasn't until Wataru finished his cup of tea that he spoke up. "We were also discussing about my wedding..."
Taisuke stiffened. "Oh... W-will it be soon?"
"They're thinking of waiting until spring, since they don't really want to have the wedding during winter."
"Oh," Taisuke repeated again, lowering his head. It was still an awkward topic to talk about between them.
Wataru moved so he was sitting behind Taisuke and he wrapped his arms around the other's waist, resting his chin on Taisuke's shoulder. "I still remember our promise, Tai-chan. No matter what, we'll stay by each other's side. You come before everything else for me."
Taisuke wanted to say no, that Wataru had his priorities wrong, but he couldn't make himself to say that, so he turned his head instead so their lips could brush together before engaging in a more emotional kiss.
The errand had been rather simple, and Taisuke was glad he was done quickly. Lately, he didn't like being apart from Wataru for long, though he wasn't quite sure why. He just wanted to go back to Wataru's side as soon as possible.
Taisuke had never noticed the figures that were following him the moment he had finished his errand and was on his way back to the Yokoos. That was the reason why he had completely caught off guard when they attacked him from behind when they reached a part of the path where there was no one around at all. Taisuke struggled and tried to reach for the knife Wataru gave him, but the men were too strong, and soon, he blacked out.
When he woke up and found himself in a room that was completely unfamiliar, Taisuke could feel the fear building within him. Just where was he, and who captured him? What did they want from him?
It was a good thing that they didn't tie him up though. Did they think he was too weak to break out and escape? Taisuke immediately reached into the folds of his hakama and sighed in relief when he felt that the knife Wataru gave him was there. If they were being careless and didn't check his belongings, then Taisuke was grateful for that fact.
Just when he thought about checking the situation outside the room he was in to see if he could escape, the door slid opened. Two men stepped in, and Taisuke felt his eyes widening when he recognized one of them. "O-Ohara-sama..."
"Why hello, Taisuke-kun," the man chuckled.
Taisuke flinched. He didn't remember ever telling Ohara his name, so the other somehow learned of it? "W-what do you want with me, Ohara-sama?"
Ohara ignored Taisuke's question. He stepped forward and bent down. "The more I look at you, the more I see you as a pretty boy. It's no wonder the younger Yokoo has such an infatuation with you. I wonder, do you just have the face, or do you have the skills to seduce men as well?"
At Ohara's words, Taisuke's face immediately blanched. What was the other talking about? Does that mean the man knew? He knew of the abnormal relationship between him and Wataru? Taisuke felt scared suddenly, not sure of what Ohara was planning at all.
"What would happen when everyone founds out that Yokoo Wataru actually is more interested in his servant than his upcoming marriage? Or should I be more curious about what he'll do if something happened to you?"
Taisuke's eyes widened and he immediately scrambled backwards, terrified by what Ohara was implying. Did Ohara really hate the Yokoos that much? He was going to use him, a servant, to ruin the Yokoos' reputation?
"Chichiue," the other man in the room finally spoke up. Taisuke didn't like the grin that was on the other's face. "Do you mind leaving him alone with me? He seems interesting..."
Ohara didn't look pleased for a moment, but maybe he couldn't deny his son his request, so he nodded his head. "I'll come back in a bit then."
When Ohara's son moved closer to him after Ohara left, Taisuke could only back up as much as he could until he hit the wall of the room. The moment the man's hand reached out towards him, Taisuke screamed.
His body ached all over, and Taisuke wanted to cry, but he refused to show his tears. No matter how much he had struggled, the man still managed to overpower him. He had been completely helpless. The man hadn't even bothered undressing him properly and had just pulled apart the necessary parts of Taisuke's hakama, leaving him completely disheveled. He glared at the man that had his back towards him with hatred. He couldn't stay here. He needed to get out of this place.
Reaching into the hakama, Taisuke was glad for a moment the man hadn't stripped him naked because that meant Wataru's knife was still with him. He took it out and unsheathed it slowly. This man touched him. This man wanted to ruin the Yokoos' reputation. He couldn't let that happen. With a cry, he stabbed the man from behind hard.
The man let out a groan and immediately fell on to the ground. Taisuke stiffened when he realized what he had done. Shaking, he quickly pulled the knife back out - he didn't want to lose Wataru's knife - and quickly ran out of the room. He didn't pay attention, but there had been no one on guard outside for some reason. It didn't take him long to find an exit out of the unfamiliar estate.
The moment Taisuke managed to truly escape, his tears started to fall. He didn't stop running though, not wanting to get caught. His grip on the knife tightened. He wasn't sure where he was running to, but it wasn't a huge problem to him right now.
Several times he tripped and fell, but Taisuke just scrambled right back up and continued to run. He wasn't sure how far he ran, but finally he had to stop and take a rest. Every few seconds though, he would look back to see if anyone was coming after him.
Sooner or later, people will be looking for him. After all, Taisuke had killed a man. Not that he checked actually, but considering how deep he had stabbed the other, even if that man hadn't died, he had committed a definite crime.
There was no way he could go back to the Yokoos. That would be the first place Ohara would go to find him if the man wanted revenge for his son. He couldn't cause any trouble for the Yokoos. That would have been what Ohara had wanted, wouldn't it? He could easily blame the Yokoos for taking in a murderer.
Standing back up properly, Taisuke tightened his hold on the knife. He sniffled and wiped the knife against his hakama, not wanting a stranger's blood on it before sheathing it once more. When he looked around and saw where he was, he realized the area actually looked quite familiar. His heart ached a little for some reason and before he realized it, his feet started to move towards a certain direction.
By the time he stepped out of the woods, Taisuke was squinting his eyes at the setting sun. "Wataru-sama..." he breathed, falling down on to his knees. He was at Wataru's secret spot, but he was all alone. It didn't feel right, and he wondered if he'll ever see Wataru again.
Taisuke looked down at the knife. Maybe this was for the better. He couldn't let the Yokoos be master of a servant who had killed and have their name ruined. Then, his body too... Someone else had touched him and he didn't want to let Wataru see him like this, Wataru who promised that they'll be together forever, side by side, no matter what their relationship was.
A decision formed in Taisuke's mind. Taking a deep breath, Taisuke unsheathed the knife, fingers going over the symbol carved on the handle. His hands shook as he gripped it, but he tried to push away the feelings.
Whispering Wataru's name to himself, Taisuke aimed the knife towards himself.
"What do you mean he's not back yet!?" Wataru didn't care about how terrified the man looked. He just wanted his answer.
"We don't know where Taisuke-kun is, Wataru-sama," the man replied in a shaky voice. "The errand shouldn't take that long, but he's not back yet and no one has heard anything."
Wataru couldn't explain the sinking feeling in his heart. Why did he feel like something has happened to Taisuke? He remembered what his mother had told him, to beware of the man named Ohara. Could the man's hand have reached out to Taisuke instead? He was sure it wasn't a secret that Taisuke was a servant of his and that he was well-liked after all.
Not paying attention to what the man was telling him, Wataru spun on his heels and ran. He got to find Taisuke and get rid of that feeling in his heart.
Wataru took the path that Taisuke should have taken to do his errand, but didn't see Taisuke or signs of the other at all. He even asked a few people that was on the path, but no one was able to tell him anything.
"Where are you, Tai-chan?" Wataru whispered to himself.
Suddenly, his secret spot on the cliff flashed through his mind. Wataru wasn't sure why he thought of that place since there shouldn't be any reason for Taisuke to go there, but he started to head towards that spot anyways. He had no other clue, so he was going to trust his own instinct.
The closer he got to the place, the louder his heart was pounding in his ears. Wataru desperately hoped that Taisuke was fine, and that if the other was by the cliff, he was just resting there for some reason.
Running through the woods, Wataru tried to concentrate on the path and not think about anything else. By the time he got out, he felt the setting sun was unusually red. He looked around frantically, and his eyes widened when he noticed a figure lying on the grass not too far away from him.
"Tai-chan!"
Immediately, Wataru ran up to the other and took Taisuke into his arms. He choked out a cry when he noticed the blood that covered Taisuke's clothes, the disheveled state the other was in. Taisuke had his eyes closed, but he could still feel Taisuke's chest rising and falling, even though it wasn't obvious.
Wataru patted him on the cheek lightly. "Tai-chan? Tai-chan...wake up..."
Letting out a small whimper, Taisuke fluttered his eyes open. He looked surprised, as if he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not. "W-Wataru-sama...?"
"Tai-chan, Tai-chan." Wataru wanted to hug Taisuke tightly, but he was afraid of making the other's wound worse. "Who did this to you, Tai-chan? I'm going to kill them!"
Taisuke quickly grabbed on to Wataru's sleeve and shook his head, despite the pain that he was obviously feeling. "D-don't do anything, Wataru-sama. I...I was the one who chose to do this..." Breathing heavily, Taisuke reached out and found the bloodied knife he left among the grass. "I'm sorry for staining your knife, Wataru-sama..." His words were slow and choppy as he would take in shallow breaths between every few syllables.
Wataru shook his head. "Don't apologize for these things! Why did you do this, Tai-chan? Wait, no, don't speak anymore. I'm taking you to a doctor..."
About to say something, Taisuke suddenly coughed and spat out some blood. "Tai-chan!" Wataru immediately tried to wipe Taisuke's blood away from the other's face with his hand. "Tai-chan..."
Shaking his head again, it took a while before Taisuke managed to speak, "D-don't waste your time, Wataru-sama..." He looked up at Wataru with half-lidded, but teary eyes. "I don’t want to cause any trouble..."
"What do you mean?" Wataru hissed. He pressed against a bruise on Taisuke's skin. "Don't tell me you did this yourself. There's got to be someone who did this to you!"
"P-please, Wataru-sama, don't do anything..." Taisuke coughed again. "I...I think I killed him," he gasped out. "You wouldn't...want to be a master to a killer..."
Wataru felt his heart clench. He could tell Taisuke was getting weaker. "He deserves to die then, for touching you. Tai-chan, Tai-chan, you promised to be by my side, right? Let me take you to a doctor! Are you going to break your promise?"
"S-sorry," Taisuke whispered. "I...I really don't deserve to be with Wataru-sama anymore..." Letting go of the knife and using his blood-stained hands, he grabbed hold of Wataru's hand. "Wataru-sama, promise me? You...you won't do anything like getting revenge," he managed to get the words out. "I...I really like everyone in the estate. I don't want to cause trouble for them, so please...please protect them, Wataru-sama..."
Wataru clutched Taisuke's hands tightly. "That's not fair, Tai-chan. It's not fair to ask me to promise you such a thing." The way Taisuke was speaking about it, he could only think of one person who would do this. "Is it Ohara? He's the one who did this to you, right? How dare he...he should have came straight at me, but yet..."
"Wataru-sama!" Taisuke cried. "Please...please don't..." He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. "If...if only I was a girl, then it wouldn't have been so troublesome...or if I wasn't your servant."
His heart clenched again, but Wataru didn't want to cry. "Don't say that! You're fine the way you are, Tai-chan! If you weren't a servant, then you wouldn't have met me. Do you want that? Do you rather have never met me at all?"
Taisuke could only smile weakly at Wataru. "Please...protect everyone, Wataru-sama..."
"You're being selfish, Tai-chan! Why are you making these decisions for me, without my say? I don't care what you've done, I would have protected you and everyone else too!" Wataru was shaking by now. "Why didn't you trust me?"
Taisuke shook his head. He was losing the strength to speak.
Wataru gripped Taisuke's hands. "Tai-chan, you're allowed to leave me. Don't die on me!"
"If I can be reborn, then...my promise..." Taisuke just smiled. It wasn't hard to know what he meant.
Finally, Wataru let his tears fall. "I don't want another life, Tai-chan. I want you to stay by my side now, in this lifetime. Please, Tai-chan..."
Movements slow, Taisuke raised his hand and touched Wataru's cheek. He tried to get up, but when he couldn't, he got Wataru to lean down instead. Taisuke smiled and pressed his lips against Wataru's before whispering a few words. Before Wataru could reply, Taisuke's hand fell down and his eyes fell shut.
"Taisuke...!"
The streets of Shibuya were crowded as usual and as Wataru waited for the light to turn green, he checked his watch. It seemed like he was early again. That wasn't a problem though. He had gotten used to his friend being late, so he learned how to waste his time while waiting for the other.
When the light turned colour, Wataru followed the crowd and crossed the road. Once he reached the other side, he turned towards the right, but soon bumped passed another person.
Wataru quickly turned around, wanting to apologize, when his eyes met another pair of eyes that was looking right back at him.
He didn't understand why there was a sudden overwhelm of emotions within him - of happiness, of sadness, of loneliness, of guilt, of hopefulness. Wataru couldn't tear his eyes of the male in front of him.
When the other tilted his head and then smiled at him, Wataru finally felt the tears rolling down his cheeks.
I love you, Wataru.
Tai-chan, I love you too.
Author's Notes: I started this fic a year ago on Wataru's birthday, and it felt appropriate to end it a year later, once again on Wataru's birthday. See, Wataru? I told you I'd give you some sort of a miracle (wrote like 4/5 of it today). (Let's ignore for the moment it's not something meant to act as a birthday fic.)
I think I surprised everyone with this ending. I must say though, the moment I started this story, this was the way the fic was going to end. It didn't change at all. I can't remember the main reason I wanted to start this story, but I think somewhere along the way, the goal became writing a romance story that didn't end happily ever after and hopefully not completely cliche. The plot completely climaxed in this chapter and you might feel like it ended quite quickly, but I didn't feel like extra scenes were necessarily. I had a feeling if I wrote more, things would just drag, so this is how I decided the final chapter will be.
And well, I did mention in the warnings section that it might not be an ending that everyone will be happy with. I was crying when I wrote the last part, so at least, it's enough to convince myself that I like the way the story turned out. Everything is not perfect as it's hard putting down thoughts on paper into words, but I don't think I failed either.
There's no plan for a sequel, though the potential is there, but for now, don't expect it from me.
I hope if you didn't like the ending, you don't dislike it either.
Eight chapters that took one year to write. ...kind of sad. Well, I can work on other fics now...
...next year, Wataru, I'll try to write something that's actually a proper birthday fic.
Comments are love and appreciated~
Author: Shattered Tenshi
Rating: NC-17 (R this chapter)
Fandom: JE
Genre: AU, Romance
Pairing: Yokoo Wataru x Fujigaya Taisuke, Kitayama Hiromitsu x Fujigaya Taisuke
Warnings: //points at rating// As well, an ending that may not make everyone happy. I believe the warnings I need to apply to this will be spoilers, so highlight the line right below if you want to know them before reading. Implied rape, character death
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight (end)
Soba ni Ite
By Shattered Tenshi
Part Eight
"Are you sure you're wearing enough?"
Taisuke turned around at Wataru's question and tilted his head for a second before understanding what the other had meant. He smiled. "I'll be fine, Wataru-sama. This is similar to what I wore last winter anyways, and I managed then."
Wataru made a face. "I don't want you getting sick though." He quickly found one of his extra outer hakama and placed it on Taisuke's shoulders. "This winter feels colder than the last one anyways."
About to protest, Taisuke thought better of it and just smiled. "Thank you, Wataru-sama..."
Sitting down on the tatami, Wataru reached out and pulled Taisuke into his arms, making the other sit with him. "Was it winter when we first...?"
Taisuke understood Wataru's unfinished question. "It was near the end of winter."
"Still, nearly one year since then..." Wataru buried his face against Taisuke's neck from behind. "Time passes by really quickly."
"It does," Taisuke agreed softly.
Wataru brushed his lips against Taisuke's ear. "Lie down for a bit with me?"
A light blush appeared on Taisuke's cheek. "It's still early, Wataru-sama. What if someone comes by?"
"It's okay," Wataru replied and started to pull Taisuke down with him.
"On the tatami? At least let me roll out the futon..."
Chuckling in amusement, Wataru commented, "Wouldn't that made it weirder, Tai-chan? You're the one who said it's still early."
Taisuke's cheeks turned a darker shade of red. "O-oh...right..." Hesitating a little, he finally laid down with Wataru, staying in the other's arms.
"By the way, Tai-chan..."
"Mh?"
Wataru paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm visiting Hiro tomorrow."
"...oh."
Nuzzling Taisuke, Wataru murmured, "Do you have anything you want me to tell him? I know the two of you won't meet again, but..."
Taisuke smiled softly and shook his head. "It's alright, Wataru-sama. I don't think...I don't think Hiromitsu-sama would want to hear from me. Not meeting I think means not hearing about each other as well. It's been sometime since Hiromitsu-sama got married anyways. I don't want to ruin anything for him."
"Why are you always so thoughtful, Tai-chan?" Wataru asked, though it was kind of a rhetorical question because he knew Taisuke well enough to know the other was just like this. "I'm telling you about Hiro though. Should I stop?"
There was a small pause before Taisuke mumbled, "No. I want to know that Hiromitsu-sama is doing well."
"You're good at making me feel jealous," Wataru said, which made Taisuke crane his head back to look at the other. "Don't worry. You know I won't do anything. Have I not proved myself enough yet?"
"I didn't mean that," Taisuke replied in a small voice.
"Good." Wataru made Taisuke turn and face him so he could press their lips together gently. "I'm glad you're by my side, Tai-chan..."
"...un, I'm glad too, Wataru-sama."
"...they say he's serious this time, so please be careful, Wataru."
"I understand, hahaue."
Taisuke stood in front of the door and wondered if he had listened in on something he shouldn't be listening to. He wasn’t sure what Wataru and Hatsune were talking about though, so maybe it's fine? Either way, he cleared his throat and spoke up, "Wataru-sama? May I come in?"
There was a brief silence on the other side of the room before he heard Wataru's voice. "Come in, Taisuke."
Bowing his head, Taisuke then slid open the door and stepped into the room. "Sorry for the disturbance, but Wataru-sama had requested a snack earlier on and it's prepared now," he said as he set the tray that had a plate of dango and a pot of tea along with an empty on it. "Would Hatsune-sama like to join Wataru-sama?"
Hatsune smiled but rejected the offer. "I've finished speaking with Wataru, and I actually want to visit Aya now, so I'll be leaving." She placed a hand on Taisuke's shoulder once she got up. "Take care of yourself, Taisuke-kun. Be careful, alright?"
Taisuke blinked, not understanding why Hatsune was saying this specially to him since she never really did that before, but nodded his head. "I will, Hatsune-sama."
Once Hatsune had left, Taisuke slid the door back closed and sat down with Wataru. "What were Hatsune-sama and you talking about? Hatsune-sama seemed very serious, and she never really told me to specially take care like that before...”"
Wataru just shook his head. "Probably since now it's winter, she's just being overly worried about people getting sick. It's nothing."
Taisuke felt that there was more to it, but didn't push Wataru to talk. He knew there were things that he shouldn't know or worry about, so he'll leave it be. Picking up the pot, he poured out a cup of tea for Wataru. He jumped a little though when he felt something poking his mouth. Glancing down, he realized Wataru was offering him the dango.
"It's your snack, Wataru-sama."
Grinning, Wataru replied, "Yes, but you also like it too, so go ahead and eat one?"
Taisuke made a slight face before giving in and parted his lips to eat a piece of dango. To Wataru's question of whether it was good or not, Taisuke just nodded his head.
They ate in silence, and it wasn't until Wataru finished his cup of tea that he spoke up. "We were also discussing about my wedding..."
Taisuke stiffened. "Oh... W-will it be soon?"
"They're thinking of waiting until spring, since they don't really want to have the wedding during winter."
"Oh," Taisuke repeated again, lowering his head. It was still an awkward topic to talk about between them.
Wataru moved so he was sitting behind Taisuke and he wrapped his arms around the other's waist, resting his chin on Taisuke's shoulder. "I still remember our promise, Tai-chan. No matter what, we'll stay by each other's side. You come before everything else for me."
Taisuke wanted to say no, that Wataru had his priorities wrong, but he couldn't make himself to say that, so he turned his head instead so their lips could brush together before engaging in a more emotional kiss.
The errand had been rather simple, and Taisuke was glad he was done quickly. Lately, he didn't like being apart from Wataru for long, though he wasn't quite sure why. He just wanted to go back to Wataru's side as soon as possible.
Taisuke had never noticed the figures that were following him the moment he had finished his errand and was on his way back to the Yokoos. That was the reason why he had completely caught off guard when they attacked him from behind when they reached a part of the path where there was no one around at all. Taisuke struggled and tried to reach for the knife Wataru gave him, but the men were too strong, and soon, he blacked out.
When he woke up and found himself in a room that was completely unfamiliar, Taisuke could feel the fear building within him. Just where was he, and who captured him? What did they want from him?
It was a good thing that they didn't tie him up though. Did they think he was too weak to break out and escape? Taisuke immediately reached into the folds of his hakama and sighed in relief when he felt that the knife Wataru gave him was there. If they were being careless and didn't check his belongings, then Taisuke was grateful for that fact.
Just when he thought about checking the situation outside the room he was in to see if he could escape, the door slid opened. Two men stepped in, and Taisuke felt his eyes widening when he recognized one of them. "O-Ohara-sama..."
"Why hello, Taisuke-kun," the man chuckled.
Taisuke flinched. He didn't remember ever telling Ohara his name, so the other somehow learned of it? "W-what do you want with me, Ohara-sama?"
Ohara ignored Taisuke's question. He stepped forward and bent down. "The more I look at you, the more I see you as a pretty boy. It's no wonder the younger Yokoo has such an infatuation with you. I wonder, do you just have the face, or do you have the skills to seduce men as well?"
At Ohara's words, Taisuke's face immediately blanched. What was the other talking about? Does that mean the man knew? He knew of the abnormal relationship between him and Wataru? Taisuke felt scared suddenly, not sure of what Ohara was planning at all.
"What would happen when everyone founds out that Yokoo Wataru actually is more interested in his servant than his upcoming marriage? Or should I be more curious about what he'll do if something happened to you?"
Taisuke's eyes widened and he immediately scrambled backwards, terrified by what Ohara was implying. Did Ohara really hate the Yokoos that much? He was going to use him, a servant, to ruin the Yokoos' reputation?
"Chichiue," the other man in the room finally spoke up. Taisuke didn't like the grin that was on the other's face. "Do you mind leaving him alone with me? He seems interesting..."
Ohara didn't look pleased for a moment, but maybe he couldn't deny his son his request, so he nodded his head. "I'll come back in a bit then."
When Ohara's son moved closer to him after Ohara left, Taisuke could only back up as much as he could until he hit the wall of the room. The moment the man's hand reached out towards him, Taisuke screamed.
His body ached all over, and Taisuke wanted to cry, but he refused to show his tears. No matter how much he had struggled, the man still managed to overpower him. He had been completely helpless. The man hadn't even bothered undressing him properly and had just pulled apart the necessary parts of Taisuke's hakama, leaving him completely disheveled. He glared at the man that had his back towards him with hatred. He couldn't stay here. He needed to get out of this place.
Reaching into the hakama, Taisuke was glad for a moment the man hadn't stripped him naked because that meant Wataru's knife was still with him. He took it out and unsheathed it slowly. This man touched him. This man wanted to ruin the Yokoos' reputation. He couldn't let that happen. With a cry, he stabbed the man from behind hard.
The man let out a groan and immediately fell on to the ground. Taisuke stiffened when he realized what he had done. Shaking, he quickly pulled the knife back out - he didn't want to lose Wataru's knife - and quickly ran out of the room. He didn't pay attention, but there had been no one on guard outside for some reason. It didn't take him long to find an exit out of the unfamiliar estate.
The moment Taisuke managed to truly escape, his tears started to fall. He didn't stop running though, not wanting to get caught. His grip on the knife tightened. He wasn't sure where he was running to, but it wasn't a huge problem to him right now.
Several times he tripped and fell, but Taisuke just scrambled right back up and continued to run. He wasn't sure how far he ran, but finally he had to stop and take a rest. Every few seconds though, he would look back to see if anyone was coming after him.
Sooner or later, people will be looking for him. After all, Taisuke had killed a man. Not that he checked actually, but considering how deep he had stabbed the other, even if that man hadn't died, he had committed a definite crime.
There was no way he could go back to the Yokoos. That would be the first place Ohara would go to find him if the man wanted revenge for his son. He couldn't cause any trouble for the Yokoos. That would have been what Ohara had wanted, wouldn't it? He could easily blame the Yokoos for taking in a murderer.
Standing back up properly, Taisuke tightened his hold on the knife. He sniffled and wiped the knife against his hakama, not wanting a stranger's blood on it before sheathing it once more. When he looked around and saw where he was, he realized the area actually looked quite familiar. His heart ached a little for some reason and before he realized it, his feet started to move towards a certain direction.
By the time he stepped out of the woods, Taisuke was squinting his eyes at the setting sun. "Wataru-sama..." he breathed, falling down on to his knees. He was at Wataru's secret spot, but he was all alone. It didn't feel right, and he wondered if he'll ever see Wataru again.
Taisuke looked down at the knife. Maybe this was for the better. He couldn't let the Yokoos be master of a servant who had killed and have their name ruined. Then, his body too... Someone else had touched him and he didn't want to let Wataru see him like this, Wataru who promised that they'll be together forever, side by side, no matter what their relationship was.
A decision formed in Taisuke's mind. Taking a deep breath, Taisuke unsheathed the knife, fingers going over the symbol carved on the handle. His hands shook as he gripped it, but he tried to push away the feelings.
Whispering Wataru's name to himself, Taisuke aimed the knife towards himself.
"What do you mean he's not back yet!?" Wataru didn't care about how terrified the man looked. He just wanted his answer.
"We don't know where Taisuke-kun is, Wataru-sama," the man replied in a shaky voice. "The errand shouldn't take that long, but he's not back yet and no one has heard anything."
Wataru couldn't explain the sinking feeling in his heart. Why did he feel like something has happened to Taisuke? He remembered what his mother had told him, to beware of the man named Ohara. Could the man's hand have reached out to Taisuke instead? He was sure it wasn't a secret that Taisuke was a servant of his and that he was well-liked after all.
Not paying attention to what the man was telling him, Wataru spun on his heels and ran. He got to find Taisuke and get rid of that feeling in his heart.
Wataru took the path that Taisuke should have taken to do his errand, but didn't see Taisuke or signs of the other at all. He even asked a few people that was on the path, but no one was able to tell him anything.
"Where are you, Tai-chan?" Wataru whispered to himself.
Suddenly, his secret spot on the cliff flashed through his mind. Wataru wasn't sure why he thought of that place since there shouldn't be any reason for Taisuke to go there, but he started to head towards that spot anyways. He had no other clue, so he was going to trust his own instinct.
The closer he got to the place, the louder his heart was pounding in his ears. Wataru desperately hoped that Taisuke was fine, and that if the other was by the cliff, he was just resting there for some reason.
Running through the woods, Wataru tried to concentrate on the path and not think about anything else. By the time he got out, he felt the setting sun was unusually red. He looked around frantically, and his eyes widened when he noticed a figure lying on the grass not too far away from him.
"Tai-chan!"
Immediately, Wataru ran up to the other and took Taisuke into his arms. He choked out a cry when he noticed the blood that covered Taisuke's clothes, the disheveled state the other was in. Taisuke had his eyes closed, but he could still feel Taisuke's chest rising and falling, even though it wasn't obvious.
Wataru patted him on the cheek lightly. "Tai-chan? Tai-chan...wake up..."
Letting out a small whimper, Taisuke fluttered his eyes open. He looked surprised, as if he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not. "W-Wataru-sama...?"
"Tai-chan, Tai-chan." Wataru wanted to hug Taisuke tightly, but he was afraid of making the other's wound worse. "Who did this to you, Tai-chan? I'm going to kill them!"
Taisuke quickly grabbed on to Wataru's sleeve and shook his head, despite the pain that he was obviously feeling. "D-don't do anything, Wataru-sama. I...I was the one who chose to do this..." Breathing heavily, Taisuke reached out and found the bloodied knife he left among the grass. "I'm sorry for staining your knife, Wataru-sama..." His words were slow and choppy as he would take in shallow breaths between every few syllables.
Wataru shook his head. "Don't apologize for these things! Why did you do this, Tai-chan? Wait, no, don't speak anymore. I'm taking you to a doctor..."
About to say something, Taisuke suddenly coughed and spat out some blood. "Tai-chan!" Wataru immediately tried to wipe Taisuke's blood away from the other's face with his hand. "Tai-chan..."
Shaking his head again, it took a while before Taisuke managed to speak, "D-don't waste your time, Wataru-sama..." He looked up at Wataru with half-lidded, but teary eyes. "I don’t want to cause any trouble..."
"What do you mean?" Wataru hissed. He pressed against a bruise on Taisuke's skin. "Don't tell me you did this yourself. There's got to be someone who did this to you!"
"P-please, Wataru-sama, don't do anything..." Taisuke coughed again. "I...I think I killed him," he gasped out. "You wouldn't...want to be a master to a killer..."
Wataru felt his heart clench. He could tell Taisuke was getting weaker. "He deserves to die then, for touching you. Tai-chan, Tai-chan, you promised to be by my side, right? Let me take you to a doctor! Are you going to break your promise?"
"S-sorry," Taisuke whispered. "I...I really don't deserve to be with Wataru-sama anymore..." Letting go of the knife and using his blood-stained hands, he grabbed hold of Wataru's hand. "Wataru-sama, promise me? You...you won't do anything like getting revenge," he managed to get the words out. "I...I really like everyone in the estate. I don't want to cause trouble for them, so please...please protect them, Wataru-sama..."
Wataru clutched Taisuke's hands tightly. "That's not fair, Tai-chan. It's not fair to ask me to promise you such a thing." The way Taisuke was speaking about it, he could only think of one person who would do this. "Is it Ohara? He's the one who did this to you, right? How dare he...he should have came straight at me, but yet..."
"Wataru-sama!" Taisuke cried. "Please...please don't..." He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. "If...if only I was a girl, then it wouldn't have been so troublesome...or if I wasn't your servant."
His heart clenched again, but Wataru didn't want to cry. "Don't say that! You're fine the way you are, Tai-chan! If you weren't a servant, then you wouldn't have met me. Do you want that? Do you rather have never met me at all?"
Taisuke could only smile weakly at Wataru. "Please...protect everyone, Wataru-sama..."
"You're being selfish, Tai-chan! Why are you making these decisions for me, without my say? I don't care what you've done, I would have protected you and everyone else too!" Wataru was shaking by now. "Why didn't you trust me?"
Taisuke shook his head. He was losing the strength to speak.
Wataru gripped Taisuke's hands. "Tai-chan, you're allowed to leave me. Don't die on me!"
"If I can be reborn, then...my promise..." Taisuke just smiled. It wasn't hard to know what he meant.
Finally, Wataru let his tears fall. "I don't want another life, Tai-chan. I want you to stay by my side now, in this lifetime. Please, Tai-chan..."
Movements slow, Taisuke raised his hand and touched Wataru's cheek. He tried to get up, but when he couldn't, he got Wataru to lean down instead. Taisuke smiled and pressed his lips against Wataru's before whispering a few words. Before Wataru could reply, Taisuke's hand fell down and his eyes fell shut.
"Taisuke...!"
The streets of Shibuya were crowded as usual and as Wataru waited for the light to turn green, he checked his watch. It seemed like he was early again. That wasn't a problem though. He had gotten used to his friend being late, so he learned how to waste his time while waiting for the other.
When the light turned colour, Wataru followed the crowd and crossed the road. Once he reached the other side, he turned towards the right, but soon bumped passed another person.
Wataru quickly turned around, wanting to apologize, when his eyes met another pair of eyes that was looking right back at him.
He didn't understand why there was a sudden overwhelm of emotions within him - of happiness, of sadness, of loneliness, of guilt, of hopefulness. Wataru couldn't tear his eyes of the male in front of him.
When the other tilted his head and then smiled at him, Wataru finally felt the tears rolling down his cheeks.
I love you, Wataru.
Tai-chan, I love you too.
Author's Notes: I started this fic a year ago on Wataru's birthday, and it felt appropriate to end it a year later, once again on Wataru's birthday. See, Wataru? I told you I'd give you some sort of a miracle (wrote like 4/5 of it today). (Let's ignore for the moment it's not something meant to act as a birthday fic.)
I think I surprised everyone with this ending. I must say though, the moment I started this story, this was the way the fic was going to end. It didn't change at all. I can't remember the main reason I wanted to start this story, but I think somewhere along the way, the goal became writing a romance story that didn't end happily ever after and hopefully not completely cliche. The plot completely climaxed in this chapter and you might feel like it ended quite quickly, but I didn't feel like extra scenes were necessarily. I had a feeling if I wrote more, things would just drag, so this is how I decided the final chapter will be.
And well, I did mention in the warnings section that it might not be an ending that everyone will be happy with. I was crying when I wrote the last part, so at least, it's enough to convince myself that I like the way the story turned out. Everything is not perfect as it's hard putting down thoughts on paper into words, but I don't think I failed either.
There's no plan for a sequel, though the potential is there, but for now, don't expect it from me.
I hope if you didn't like the ending, you don't dislike it either.
Eight chapters that took one year to write. ...kind of sad. Well, I can work on other fics now...
...next year, Wataru, I'll try to write something that's actually a proper birthday fic.
Comments are love and appreciated~