i can't say much because it hurts too bad. my friend, steve, died 2 nights ago. in a terrrrrrrible horrifying car accident. here is the link.
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/7534113/detail.html all i know is that i'm going to miss him. we grew up together. his sister was my best friend. i used to pick on him.. and call after him with the baby voice... STEEEVEEYYYYYY YOUS SOO CUUTEEEE...but i can't now.
i can't even say hi. i can't hug him. can't tell him how sorry i am for losing touch over the years. how much i'm going to miss him. and how much i love him......this is easily one of the most painful things i've ever had to go through.
he died in front of the arby's on 51. if you saw on that page, they had a little memorial set up for him. tonight is his viewing. i'm taking flowers, a letter i am going to write him, a little sign i'm making him and putting it at the memorial site and i'm going to just sit there and cry. he was only 18... the other girl was only 15. they were so young. and the driver walked away without a scratch. that pisses me off. he was fucking speeding down 51 ... in the worst weather EVERRRRR. and he hits a car full of 4 teenagers who just wanted their beef and cheddars. ends up killing two of them...and then walks away with NOTHING WRONG. i hope that person feels guilt for the rest of their lives.
he's going to be missed by so many. he worked with my brother..theyve been friends since they were in 1st grade. he had a twin , tim. and it's going to be so hard to see tim and not steve. he was crying on the news last night saying "i never got to say goodbye"...
everyone i know is devastated by this news....i tried to tell all the people i went to high school with. this is awful. all i know is that i'm going to be missing him every single day of my life.
steve, take care of sweetheart up there for me .. okay? :)
anyway, i will leave this. they wrote this about john... and this song fits so perfectly into my situation right now....this is for you , steve. <3
Steve Lammert
9.18.87 - 2.27.06
♥
Bayside "winter"
When Winter falls
Next year, I'll be holding on
To anything nailed down
As for being patient, with fate and all, it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing
I'm calling all my oldest friends,
Saying "sorry for this mess we're in,"
And I'm waiting, waiting
For the Sun to come and melt this snow,
wash away the pain, and give me back control, control.
An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.
Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don't, did we not care?
It makes you think about the life you've led,
Shit you've done, things you've said.
And it's grounding, grounding.
I've been feeling three feet tall this month,
hardly indestructible.
But the snow melts, and the rhythm still goes on.
An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.
Friends stay side by side,
In life and death you've always stole my heart,
You'll always mean so much to me, it's hard to believe this
These nights in vans,
These nights in bars,
Don't mean a thing with empty hearts, with empty hearts.
An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.
Friends stay side by side,
In life and death you've always stole my heart,
You've always meant so much to me, it's hard to believe
So much to me, it's hard to believe
So much to me, it's hard to believe this.