i'm not dead
I am feeling very bad lately. I am a bad person. A very bad person. as i type this, i am stealing my mothers xanax. yesterday I almost bled to death. Not exaggerating either. FYI if you ever have an abortion, expect ping-pond sized blood clots to come out of you. Last night I thought i really was going to die.Sean was scared too, because he insisted on staying the night, and waking me up every hour or so to mamke sure I didn't bleed to death in sleep. He really does care. The guilt I am feeling right now is more intense than any other feeling i have ever had, besides how much i love sean. He has been the best through this situation. 11 weeks, almost 3 months. There was a baby in me and I killed it. I killed my own baby. I didnt even tell my parents. Shows how much they know me. We went out to diner that night and they never asked if anything was wrong. Maybe I just dont show emotion.