Jake, out of all the things in life you are definately one of my favorites.
Jake left tonight. I got to drive him to the airport. It was really rainy on the way there. It was so nice having him here this weekend. I had some really poignant moments with him. On Friday we went out to lunch at Oregano's (yumm to the extreme) and then to Zia. It was fun. Boy..he and I are sure goofy together! He said he liked my tape and card. That is all I need. I kind of wish we did something today but he stayed for a while at Travis' house. Its all good. I wonder how Travis is doing these days. Jake said Chris was there.
Last night Jake and I went and saw 'Catch Me If You Can' and it was super good. Very thought provoking. Definitely a commentary on our system. I liked how everything came full circle. Funny how things happen to work out like that. I wanted to cry and hold on to Jake's ankles as he walked away tonight. That would have been entertaining. I just need him so much right now. I feel like I need someone. Yet I want to be alone. I feel myself sinking again and It scares me a lot. Jake said to keep fighting it. I am. Really. I am so happy yet I feel so distant and fucked up beyond belief. I avoid things because I just can't handle even the simplest confrontation right now. Even if the outcome is worse because I didn't do something...I just can't bring myself to care. It hurts too much. I feel the sinking. I feel so mean. I'm fighting it. I am stronger than ever. Happy too--just so lost at times.
Bruce called when I was on my way to pick up Jake from his Sis' casa. We actually got to talk for more than ten minutes so that was pretty reassuring. Hopefully Bruce and I will get to see each other tomorrow or New Year's Eve as we had originally planned. I love him so much. He said he's had a chaotic weekend. That explains a lot. Or not. I can only hope. Lydia had her baby!!!
Cory is in Riverside having a grand ol' time. I'm trying not to miss him. Its not working. haha. I need a vacation. Hopefully after I am done with all this dance stuff I can take a breather before I go back to my craziness [times ten] because it is my last semester. I got to see my Joshua late Friday night. We are going to go to lunch and stuff this week. fun fun fun. And Lauren dear too.
One hour until Mr. Robert Jason McLaughlin's 26th Birthday! I love you!
Dammit Steve signed off and lost my number. I checked my message too late.
I cut my hair six inches. I needed a change. Jaime said it looked hot. But I think he looked even better. Friday.
Being my stubborn self I tried to take Tucson Blvd. North from the airport to get to some known street. Little did I know that Tucson Blvd. ends. So...I ended up some random part of Tucson. Oi. My stubbornness! I can make things so complicated sometimes. Not usually. I just like trying new things I suppose. Ya know keep things interesting. Ending up right where I began.
Facilmente a t'in-ganar. Con la scusa del la spina do-man poi la sprezzera. Io ti debba ri a mar. Facilmente a t'in-ganar.
Last night Jake and I went and saw 'Catch Me If You Can' and it was super good. Very thought provoking. Definitely a commentary on our system. I liked how everything came full circle. Funny how things happen to work out like that. I wanted to cry and hold on to Jake's ankles as he walked away tonight. That would have been entertaining. I just need him so much right now. I feel like I need someone. Yet I want to be alone. I feel myself sinking again and It scares me a lot. Jake said to keep fighting it. I am. Really. I am so happy yet I feel so distant and fucked up beyond belief. I avoid things because I just can't handle even the simplest confrontation right now. Even if the outcome is worse because I didn't do something...I just can't bring myself to care. It hurts too much. I feel the sinking. I feel so mean. I'm fighting it. I am stronger than ever. Happy too--just so lost at times.
Bruce called when I was on my way to pick up Jake from his Sis' casa. We actually got to talk for more than ten minutes so that was pretty reassuring. Hopefully Bruce and I will get to see each other tomorrow or New Year's Eve as we had originally planned. I love him so much. He said he's had a chaotic weekend. That explains a lot. Or not. I can only hope. Lydia had her baby!!!
Cory is in Riverside having a grand ol' time. I'm trying not to miss him. Its not working. haha. I need a vacation. Hopefully after I am done with all this dance stuff I can take a breather before I go back to my craziness [times ten] because it is my last semester. I got to see my Joshua late Friday night. We are going to go to lunch and stuff this week. fun fun fun. And Lauren dear too.
One hour until Mr. Robert Jason McLaughlin's 26th Birthday! I love you!
Dammit Steve signed off and lost my number. I checked my message too late.
I cut my hair six inches. I needed a change. Jaime said it looked hot. But I think he looked even better. Friday.
Being my stubborn self I tried to take Tucson Blvd. North from the airport to get to some known street. Little did I know that Tucson Blvd. ends. So...I ended up some random part of Tucson. Oi. My stubbornness! I can make things so complicated sometimes. Not usually. I just like trying new things I suppose. Ya know keep things interesting. Ending up right where I began.
Facilmente a t'in-ganar. Con la scusa del la spina do-man poi la sprezzera. Io ti debba ri a mar. Facilmente a t'in-ganar.