MerDer Part 2
Untitled
Meredith/Derek
Rated R/M
Angst/Fluff
A/N: this is a continuation of the MerDer smut at the trailer I wrote a while back... I've kind of been holding on to this for, I dunno, months? LOL it seems anyway. But I finally decided to post it. So enjoy, or whatever ;)
Later that night, Meredith slept off the sex and Derek watched her. She was so beautiful when she slept he couldn’t believe she was all his. He stroked her hair with one hand, her stomach with his other and spooned her tightly against him. They were both naked beneath the covers of his small full-sized bed, exhausted, sore from hours of love making. They had done it so many times in so many different positions, and Meredith’s love of adventure and her creativity - and flexibility - had certainly made it a fun time. Memories of her laughter - interspersed with her moans of pleasure - echoed in his ears as he watched her sleep and listened her snore, and for once didn’t care at all.
She was alive. Sleeping and snoring in his arms. She fit so perfectly against him, all of her tiny little self, and he stared down at her, completely in awe of how deeply she’d made him love her. How desperate she made him at the thought of ever living without her again. He couldn’t do it. She was everything. She was all the mattered now. He used to think his career meant everything, being the best surgeon, making the most money, getting ahead. Now he knows that his career means nothing if he can’t go home to this feisty, fiery ball of unpredictability every day for the rest of their lives. She kept him on his toes. She made him have fun, take himself less seriously. He needed her. And the thought that she might give up again, stop swimming again, paralyzed him with fear.
She stirred suddenly, moaned his name, “Derek.” Her eyes sleepily slid open and, feeling his arms around her from behind, relaxed with a smile, snuggling deeper against him. “I love you,” she whispered.
His stomach jumped like it did every time she said those words to him and he kissed her ear, whispering, “I love you.”
She tilted her head back, offering her lips. They kissed slowly, languidly, pulling away only when it was breathe or die.
They stayed there, in silence, for several long minutes, simply enjoying being together. Then Meredith felt her eyelids droop and smiled slowly, lazily. “You wore me out.”
Derek smiled against her forehead. “Hmm.” He kissed her hair. “Join the club.”
“What do you want to do tomorrow?” She murmured, her voice drowsy.
“I was thinking about brunch at that place we really like,” he suggested, trailing a finger down her arm.
She yawned, stretched, arching deeper into his arms. “Sounds good,” she dipped her nose back into his neck, tickling her skin with his stubble. “I like brunch.”
He chuckled, tilting her head back to kiss her lips languidly. “You need your sleep, Mer.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, which wasn’t hard since they could barely stay open as it was. “So do you. I know you stay up watching me. A brain surgeon needs his sleep more than I need mine.”
Derek shook his head dismissively. “I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind.”
She frowned at him, the suspicion pooling in the back of her mind; not going away. She sensed - knew - there was more wrong with him. But she didn’t want to nag him. She really, really didn’t want to nag him. She was trying to be a better person than that. So for tonight, she let it go. Plus, she could barely keep her eyes open anyway.
“I’m here, Derek,” she said softly. “I’m right here.” Kissing the underside of his chin, Meredith brought his arm tighter around her waist, turned on her side and promptly fell asleep.
He continued to watch her.
~
When she woke up in the morning, his side of the bed was vacant and the trailer was empty. She sat up, holding the sheet around her naked breasts, yawned, stretched, called out his name.
Seconds later, the door opened and he poked his head in. His hair was wet, as though he were freshly showered, and he was wearing one of his many fleece jackets over a pair of sweatpants. He hadn’t bothered to shave and his beard had thereby darkened, intensifying the blue of his eyes. She wanted to do him again, right there and now. But the dark circles under his eyes alerted her sleep had not come to him as easily as it had her.
He grinned and she forgot everything. He was so incredibly sexy, so handsome and so completely hers. The joy of that thought had her grinning too.
Derek took her in, glad she was finally awake. She looked so gorgeous, rumpled and naked in his bed. His stomach tightened and his groin followed suit. “I wanted to let you sleep,” he said as he stepped fully inside, set down the coffee cup he had been holding and unzipped his fleece all in one. But that she was awake and snuggled so beautifully in his bed, he had other ideas.
Meredith’s eyes widened, brows wiggling as he stepped out of his pants and pulled off his shirt in a matter of seconds. “Derek, I just woke up. I’m gross.”
He chuckled as he rounded on the bed and threw back the covers to slide in beside her. “Ah ha, no, honey, you are beautiful.”
She blushed as he reached for her, pulling her body against his with one arm, the other moving to her face, caressing her features. He ran a finger down her nose lightly, over her lips, her brows, her hairline. Leaned down, kissed her lips softly, eliciting a moan from deep in her throat. He rolled on top of her, pinning her to the bed beneath him, nipping her lower lip.
“What is this, round 752?” She eyed him suspiciously even as his hand worked underneath the sheet she still had wrapped around her to cup a breast. She sucked in her breath sharply as his fingers carefully rolled her nipple and he watched her eyes darken. He loved everything about her face. Her cat eyes. High cheekbones. Those incredible long lips. And that adorable nose he loved to nibble on. She was the most beautiful thing in the whole world to him and he just wanted to stare at her; take all of that beauty in.
She reached a hand up, ran fingers through his hair, murmured his name. “What do you think you’re looking at?” she said, curling her lip in an attempt to sound tough.
He smiled wistfully, that eternal Derek smile, leaned down and kissed her deeply, thoroughly, his tongue probing her mouth, taking his fill, getting good and drunk on the taste of her before he pulled away. He wanted to tell her he loved her, again, but thought better of it. Those words weren’t enough. He felt so complete, so sated with her in his bed, in his little trailer on his huge land, naked and so pretty in his favorite sheets. “I’m looking at . . .” He heard himself speaking but didn’t really know what he was saying. His hand had stilled on her breast and was just resting there, cupping her, feeling the throbbing beat of her heart beneath his palm. He leaned down and kissed her again, murmuring against her mouth, “you.”
She grinned, winked naughtily. “You can do more than just look, you know.” Her beautiful eyes twinkled as she arched her back, offering more of herself to him.
“I know.” He pulled open the sheet she was wrapped in, exposed her naked body to the air. She snuck her legs around his hips, pulling him flush against her so they were face to face, groin to groin. He was hard and heavy and ready against her and she moaned, arched her back into him, brought her legs up high enough to hook her feet into the waistband of his boxers and shove them past his hips and down his legs. He grunted and groaned as her silky legs moved along his hairy ones, her toes removing his underwear and tossing them across the trailer.
The sheer sexiness of that act nearly killed him. She giggled when he shivered in her arms and leaned in to suck enthusiastically on her neck. She tasted like she always did, sweet, her skin soft and supple beneath his mouth. He tilted his head up to nuzzle her hair and her scent overwhelmed him, brought him crashing back to the reality of their situation.
Bringing his head up to look at her, he stared deeply into her eyes, desperate to make sure the sadness he had always seen there before her accident was gone. She told him and anyone else who would listen that she was happier now, positive now, all about people and living and loving. She assured everyone that she really was bright and shiny. The look behind her eyes confirmed that and relief washed over him, nearly ate him in waves.
Her brow furled, eyes narrowed. “Derek, you’re staring.”
He nodded, felt himself on the brink of tears. A Fucking nervous breakdown. He struggled to control himself. Licked his trembling lips. Fought to retain control. “I just wanna . . .” He smiled when he saw her look of trepidation and reached a hand up to smooth hair from her face. “I just wanna take you in for a minute.” His voice was hoarse and sounded foreign to his own ears. Tears spilled from his eyes as he continued to stroke her hair, watch her face, said, trembled, nearly broke, “I almost lost you.” He was breathless and murmured it like it was the most unbelievable thing in the world.
Once she realized what his mood was about, her legs reflexively tightened around him when her stomach plummeted with dread. She leaned up, kissed him, attempted a smile. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
He nodded, shaky as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to slide into her kiss. He tipped her head up to get better access to her mouth and sank into the delight. His hair fell over his forehead, tickling hers, eliciting a giggle from her lips and she pulled away enough to laugh, tuck her head into his neck.
Derek pulled her closer, if that was even possible, stroked her hair. “Do you know how much it scared me, thinking . . . I’d have to start over without you?”
The sadness in his voice broke her heart and her smile fell. “I’m sorry,” she whispered meekly. Pulled back to look into his eyes, devastated to see the torment in them. “I screwed up and I hurt you and now you’re still hurting and-”
“I love you,” Derek hissed fiercely, cupping her face in his hands. “Being traumatized by the fact that I came thisclose to losing you forever comes with the territory, okay?”
Meredith nodded, deciding to focus on the fact that he was scaring her later. She blinked, lip quivered, and a tear fell. “If the situation was reversed, I’d fall apart too,” she whispered, running a hand over his hair. “You’re kinda It for me.”
Derek smiled sadly, licked tears from around the corners of his mouth and leaned down to lick the tears from around hers. “You’re It for me too,” he whispered as he kissed her. He cupped her face, stared intensely, lovingly, desperately into her eyes “I want forever, Meredith. With you.”
God she loved this man. What had she ever done to deserve him? “I want that too.” She sucked in a sharp breath and began to sob, pulling him against her tightly to bury her face in his chest. He held her and cried too, stroking her hair, letting it out, the terror, the anger, the grief at the thought that he lost her, got her back, and would eventually lose her again. The eternal optimism had died. It couldn’t ever last forever.
But she was here now and real and beautiful, shaking in his arms, mumbling something into his bare chest about loving him and being so sorry and never wanting to hurt him and being a screw up and giving up and then regretting it and wanting to take it all back and none of it made sense to him because it wasn’t about her. It was about him loving her so much, too much, that he put blinders on to the reality of their situation. He thought true love would conquer all. He loved her so much it made him sick. And she had still given up in the water. He had still been unable to revive her. And he hadn’t been able to save her mother either.
Loving her more than anything didn’t do a damn bit of good.
“Derek?” she gasped his name. “Derek?” Pulled back to look at him.
“Yeah?” He sniffled, smiled sadly at her tear-stained face, reached a hand out to caress it.
“We’ll get past this, right?”
Like she even had to ask. “I’m always going to show up, remember? We just agreed on forever.”
She nodded and her entire body relaxed, a brilliant, Meredith smile filling her face. “Good because, for as long as it is, for whatever . . . I want you. I want us. I want this. Okay?”
He kissed her because she looked so beautiful he had to or he’d die. “I want you too.” And for emphasis, he tilted his pelvis against hers, watched her eyes go liquid with desire. “And not just now. Tomorrow and the day after that. And ten years from now. However long, Mer. Us.”
She nodded, felt herself beginning to weep again. She buried her head in his neck, licked her lips, found the courage to whisper the words, “I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“Mer-” He knew what she meant, he knew what she was saying…
“I won’t give up.” She kissed his neck, snuggling into him. “I promise.”
He smiled as he leaned into her embrace. “Good.” He stroked her hair. “I won’t either.” He pulled her back so that their eyes could meet. “I promise."
Meredith/Derek
Rated R/M
Angst/Fluff
A/N: this is a continuation of the MerDer smut at the trailer I wrote a while back... I've kind of been holding on to this for, I dunno, months? LOL it seems anyway. But I finally decided to post it. So enjoy, or whatever ;)
Later that night, Meredith slept off the sex and Derek watched her. She was so beautiful when she slept he couldn’t believe she was all his. He stroked her hair with one hand, her stomach with his other and spooned her tightly against him. They were both naked beneath the covers of his small full-sized bed, exhausted, sore from hours of love making. They had done it so many times in so many different positions, and Meredith’s love of adventure and her creativity - and flexibility - had certainly made it a fun time. Memories of her laughter - interspersed with her moans of pleasure - echoed in his ears as he watched her sleep and listened her snore, and for once didn’t care at all.
She was alive. Sleeping and snoring in his arms. She fit so perfectly against him, all of her tiny little self, and he stared down at her, completely in awe of how deeply she’d made him love her. How desperate she made him at the thought of ever living without her again. He couldn’t do it. She was everything. She was all the mattered now. He used to think his career meant everything, being the best surgeon, making the most money, getting ahead. Now he knows that his career means nothing if he can’t go home to this feisty, fiery ball of unpredictability every day for the rest of their lives. She kept him on his toes. She made him have fun, take himself less seriously. He needed her. And the thought that she might give up again, stop swimming again, paralyzed him with fear.
She stirred suddenly, moaned his name, “Derek.” Her eyes sleepily slid open and, feeling his arms around her from behind, relaxed with a smile, snuggling deeper against him. “I love you,” she whispered.
His stomach jumped like it did every time she said those words to him and he kissed her ear, whispering, “I love you.”
She tilted her head back, offering her lips. They kissed slowly, languidly, pulling away only when it was breathe or die.
They stayed there, in silence, for several long minutes, simply enjoying being together. Then Meredith felt her eyelids droop and smiled slowly, lazily. “You wore me out.”
Derek smiled against her forehead. “Hmm.” He kissed her hair. “Join the club.”
“What do you want to do tomorrow?” She murmured, her voice drowsy.
“I was thinking about brunch at that place we really like,” he suggested, trailing a finger down her arm.
She yawned, stretched, arching deeper into his arms. “Sounds good,” she dipped her nose back into his neck, tickling her skin with his stubble. “I like brunch.”
He chuckled, tilting her head back to kiss her lips languidly. “You need your sleep, Mer.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, which wasn’t hard since they could barely stay open as it was. “So do you. I know you stay up watching me. A brain surgeon needs his sleep more than I need mine.”
Derek shook his head dismissively. “I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind.”
She frowned at him, the suspicion pooling in the back of her mind; not going away. She sensed - knew - there was more wrong with him. But she didn’t want to nag him. She really, really didn’t want to nag him. She was trying to be a better person than that. So for tonight, she let it go. Plus, she could barely keep her eyes open anyway.
“I’m here, Derek,” she said softly. “I’m right here.” Kissing the underside of his chin, Meredith brought his arm tighter around her waist, turned on her side and promptly fell asleep.
He continued to watch her.
~
When she woke up in the morning, his side of the bed was vacant and the trailer was empty. She sat up, holding the sheet around her naked breasts, yawned, stretched, called out his name.
Seconds later, the door opened and he poked his head in. His hair was wet, as though he were freshly showered, and he was wearing one of his many fleece jackets over a pair of sweatpants. He hadn’t bothered to shave and his beard had thereby darkened, intensifying the blue of his eyes. She wanted to do him again, right there and now. But the dark circles under his eyes alerted her sleep had not come to him as easily as it had her.
He grinned and she forgot everything. He was so incredibly sexy, so handsome and so completely hers. The joy of that thought had her grinning too.
Derek took her in, glad she was finally awake. She looked so gorgeous, rumpled and naked in his bed. His stomach tightened and his groin followed suit. “I wanted to let you sleep,” he said as he stepped fully inside, set down the coffee cup he had been holding and unzipped his fleece all in one. But that she was awake and snuggled so beautifully in his bed, he had other ideas.
Meredith’s eyes widened, brows wiggling as he stepped out of his pants and pulled off his shirt in a matter of seconds. “Derek, I just woke up. I’m gross.”
He chuckled as he rounded on the bed and threw back the covers to slide in beside her. “Ah ha, no, honey, you are beautiful.”
She blushed as he reached for her, pulling her body against his with one arm, the other moving to her face, caressing her features. He ran a finger down her nose lightly, over her lips, her brows, her hairline. Leaned down, kissed her lips softly, eliciting a moan from deep in her throat. He rolled on top of her, pinning her to the bed beneath him, nipping her lower lip.
“What is this, round 752?” She eyed him suspiciously even as his hand worked underneath the sheet she still had wrapped around her to cup a breast. She sucked in her breath sharply as his fingers carefully rolled her nipple and he watched her eyes darken. He loved everything about her face. Her cat eyes. High cheekbones. Those incredible long lips. And that adorable nose he loved to nibble on. She was the most beautiful thing in the whole world to him and he just wanted to stare at her; take all of that beauty in.
She reached a hand up, ran fingers through his hair, murmured his name. “What do you think you’re looking at?” she said, curling her lip in an attempt to sound tough.
He smiled wistfully, that eternal Derek smile, leaned down and kissed her deeply, thoroughly, his tongue probing her mouth, taking his fill, getting good and drunk on the taste of her before he pulled away. He wanted to tell her he loved her, again, but thought better of it. Those words weren’t enough. He felt so complete, so sated with her in his bed, in his little trailer on his huge land, naked and so pretty in his favorite sheets. “I’m looking at . . .” He heard himself speaking but didn’t really know what he was saying. His hand had stilled on her breast and was just resting there, cupping her, feeling the throbbing beat of her heart beneath his palm. He leaned down and kissed her again, murmuring against her mouth, “you.”
She grinned, winked naughtily. “You can do more than just look, you know.” Her beautiful eyes twinkled as she arched her back, offering more of herself to him.
“I know.” He pulled open the sheet she was wrapped in, exposed her naked body to the air. She snuck her legs around his hips, pulling him flush against her so they were face to face, groin to groin. He was hard and heavy and ready against her and she moaned, arched her back into him, brought her legs up high enough to hook her feet into the waistband of his boxers and shove them past his hips and down his legs. He grunted and groaned as her silky legs moved along his hairy ones, her toes removing his underwear and tossing them across the trailer.
The sheer sexiness of that act nearly killed him. She giggled when he shivered in her arms and leaned in to suck enthusiastically on her neck. She tasted like she always did, sweet, her skin soft and supple beneath his mouth. He tilted his head up to nuzzle her hair and her scent overwhelmed him, brought him crashing back to the reality of their situation.
Bringing his head up to look at her, he stared deeply into her eyes, desperate to make sure the sadness he had always seen there before her accident was gone. She told him and anyone else who would listen that she was happier now, positive now, all about people and living and loving. She assured everyone that she really was bright and shiny. The look behind her eyes confirmed that and relief washed over him, nearly ate him in waves.
Her brow furled, eyes narrowed. “Derek, you’re staring.”
He nodded, felt himself on the brink of tears. A Fucking nervous breakdown. He struggled to control himself. Licked his trembling lips. Fought to retain control. “I just wanna . . .” He smiled when he saw her look of trepidation and reached a hand up to smooth hair from her face. “I just wanna take you in for a minute.” His voice was hoarse and sounded foreign to his own ears. Tears spilled from his eyes as he continued to stroke her hair, watch her face, said, trembled, nearly broke, “I almost lost you.” He was breathless and murmured it like it was the most unbelievable thing in the world.
Once she realized what his mood was about, her legs reflexively tightened around him when her stomach plummeted with dread. She leaned up, kissed him, attempted a smile. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
He nodded, shaky as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to slide into her kiss. He tipped her head up to get better access to her mouth and sank into the delight. His hair fell over his forehead, tickling hers, eliciting a giggle from her lips and she pulled away enough to laugh, tuck her head into his neck.
Derek pulled her closer, if that was even possible, stroked her hair. “Do you know how much it scared me, thinking . . . I’d have to start over without you?”
The sadness in his voice broke her heart and her smile fell. “I’m sorry,” she whispered meekly. Pulled back to look into his eyes, devastated to see the torment in them. “I screwed up and I hurt you and now you’re still hurting and-”
“I love you,” Derek hissed fiercely, cupping her face in his hands. “Being traumatized by the fact that I came thisclose to losing you forever comes with the territory, okay?”
Meredith nodded, deciding to focus on the fact that he was scaring her later. She blinked, lip quivered, and a tear fell. “If the situation was reversed, I’d fall apart too,” she whispered, running a hand over his hair. “You’re kinda It for me.”
Derek smiled sadly, licked tears from around the corners of his mouth and leaned down to lick the tears from around hers. “You’re It for me too,” he whispered as he kissed her. He cupped her face, stared intensely, lovingly, desperately into her eyes “I want forever, Meredith. With you.”
God she loved this man. What had she ever done to deserve him? “I want that too.” She sucked in a sharp breath and began to sob, pulling him against her tightly to bury her face in his chest. He held her and cried too, stroking her hair, letting it out, the terror, the anger, the grief at the thought that he lost her, got her back, and would eventually lose her again. The eternal optimism had died. It couldn’t ever last forever.
But she was here now and real and beautiful, shaking in his arms, mumbling something into his bare chest about loving him and being so sorry and never wanting to hurt him and being a screw up and giving up and then regretting it and wanting to take it all back and none of it made sense to him because it wasn’t about her. It was about him loving her so much, too much, that he put blinders on to the reality of their situation. He thought true love would conquer all. He loved her so much it made him sick. And she had still given up in the water. He had still been unable to revive her. And he hadn’t been able to save her mother either.
Loving her more than anything didn’t do a damn bit of good.
“Derek?” she gasped his name. “Derek?” Pulled back to look at him.
“Yeah?” He sniffled, smiled sadly at her tear-stained face, reached a hand out to caress it.
“We’ll get past this, right?”
Like she even had to ask. “I’m always going to show up, remember? We just agreed on forever.”
She nodded and her entire body relaxed, a brilliant, Meredith smile filling her face. “Good because, for as long as it is, for whatever . . . I want you. I want us. I want this. Okay?”
He kissed her because she looked so beautiful he had to or he’d die. “I want you too.” And for emphasis, he tilted his pelvis against hers, watched her eyes go liquid with desire. “And not just now. Tomorrow and the day after that. And ten years from now. However long, Mer. Us.”
She nodded, felt herself beginning to weep again. She buried her head in his neck, licked her lips, found the courage to whisper the words, “I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“Mer-” He knew what she meant, he knew what she was saying…
“I won’t give up.” She kissed his neck, snuggling into him. “I promise.”
He smiled as he leaned into her embrace. “Good.” He stroked her hair. “I won’t either.” He pulled her back so that their eyes could meet. “I promise."