Goodbye Dad
I lost my father Billy on January 6. It was rather unexpected, but when you have a bad heart, with a blood clot, you're a ticking time bomb. I haven't had enough time to grieve yet. Mom is taking it hard. After 49 years of marriage, that is expected.
I'm not religious so I try to look at this as a natural part of life. It was my duty and honor to bury my father just as I hope that Liam will one day do that for me.
Dad was a good man and out relationship was wonderful if a bit complicated. He loved me very much and was one of my biggest fans. I miss not being able to pick up the phone and tell him something funny that Liam did or that I saw. He was one of my few confidantes.
Dad had a hard life. He had two house fires, one of which burned him severely. He was involved in a motorcycle wreck where he flat lined. He saw his parents and both brothers pass before him, all from heart-related issues. He had his own heart attack, but he didn't want to be defined by all the negative things that happened to him. He was truly a simple person who love the simple things in life. I wish I were more like him in that way. Dad just loved Florida and he loved his plants and trees.
He gave me opportunities that he never had in the hopes that I would have a better life. All my life I have gauged my success against my father's: from the material things to family. Maybe that's not fair but why wouldn't I want to be like him? He loved his family first and would do anything for me or Mom.
Dad and I had our share of arguments and fights, but most were pretty petty. They probably lasted longer, to me, because he was my father. I had a hard time seeing him change from a virile young man who could do anything to a senior citizen. None of it matters now. I just wish I had ten more minutes with him so I could tell him how proud I am to be his son and how I want to be that same father figure for Liam.
I'm lucky. He knew all of this. Why? Because he broke the mold. Woodsons didn't share their feelings. Woodsons were tough. Woodsons didnt say "I love you," until Billy came along. One of dad's nicknames was "Sweet Bill" for all the right reasons; Dad was a kind, sweet, gentleman and he raised me that way. We talked about hard subjects and we didn't have secrets. Because of that, I could confide in him over anything.
Even at 44, I still felt like my parents were my security blanket. If I bit off more than I could chew, my parents would be able to help through it - emotionally, financially or whatever came down the pipe. Now my rock is gone and I have to be that rock for Ashley and Liam as well as Mom. That scares me but it also inspires me. And that's jsut like Dad, to inspire me even in death.
I love you, Dad. Always and forever.
I'm not religious so I try to look at this as a natural part of life. It was my duty and honor to bury my father just as I hope that Liam will one day do that for me.
Dad was a good man and out relationship was wonderful if a bit complicated. He loved me very much and was one of my biggest fans. I miss not being able to pick up the phone and tell him something funny that Liam did or that I saw. He was one of my few confidantes.
Dad had a hard life. He had two house fires, one of which burned him severely. He was involved in a motorcycle wreck where he flat lined. He saw his parents and both brothers pass before him, all from heart-related issues. He had his own heart attack, but he didn't want to be defined by all the negative things that happened to him. He was truly a simple person who love the simple things in life. I wish I were more like him in that way. Dad just loved Florida and he loved his plants and trees.
He gave me opportunities that he never had in the hopes that I would have a better life. All my life I have gauged my success against my father's: from the material things to family. Maybe that's not fair but why wouldn't I want to be like him? He loved his family first and would do anything for me or Mom.
Dad and I had our share of arguments and fights, but most were pretty petty. They probably lasted longer, to me, because he was my father. I had a hard time seeing him change from a virile young man who could do anything to a senior citizen. None of it matters now. I just wish I had ten more minutes with him so I could tell him how proud I am to be his son and how I want to be that same father figure for Liam.
I'm lucky. He knew all of this. Why? Because he broke the mold. Woodsons didn't share their feelings. Woodsons were tough. Woodsons didnt say "I love you," until Billy came along. One of dad's nicknames was "Sweet Bill" for all the right reasons; Dad was a kind, sweet, gentleman and he raised me that way. We talked about hard subjects and we didn't have secrets. Because of that, I could confide in him over anything.
Even at 44, I still felt like my parents were my security blanket. If I bit off more than I could chew, my parents would be able to help through it - emotionally, financially or whatever came down the pipe. Now my rock is gone and I have to be that rock for Ashley and Liam as well as Mom. That scares me but it also inspires me. And that's jsut like Dad, to inspire me even in death.
I love you, Dad. Always and forever.