"It's never too late for innuendo and tequila."
So I didn't go to work today. I did, however, work from home, so I don't feel too bad about not showing up to answer the phones. Karen did just fine, I'm sure. (Side note: I do feel a tiny bit guilty about how much I rail on her, because she got me some kind of Christmas gift and emailed me to let me know it was in the drawer at my desk....then again, I should probably find out what it is before I go cultivating too much remorse.)
Let's expand on this, though. I didn't go to work = I didn't leave the house = I didn't put on real clothes = I didn't even bother showering. I spent my entire day (aside from the approximately three hours I spent working) making Christmas gifts and wrapping Christmas gifts and stressing about how my Christmas gifts aren't done and Christmas is in like, three days, and eating string cheese and flour tortillas. Crafting + wrapping presents generally = a mess. To make matters worse, I have been living like a sloppy bachelor for the past....while.
Where I'm ultimately going with this is: my condo is a scary, scary place to be right now. It's overwhelmingly cluttered with piles of things, there's embossing powder everywhere, I've apparently developed a pretty serious Diet Dr. Pepper problem (where I can't seem to get the cans/bottles into the recycling bin), and rather than taking dishes/trash/mail/my dignity back into the kitchen/office/bedroom with me when I scrape my ass off the couch, I leave these things in the living room to degenerate as they see fit.
It only got worse as the day wore on. Around 4:00, when I had to get up to answer the phone which I had unintentionally left in the computer room, I found myself neatly skirting the tower of gift boxes, hopscotching over the cord to my glue gun, and narrowly missing the various bags and purses I'm currently storing on the floor in the hallway. I feel like it might be time for an intervention.
See? It's pretty bad. If I weren't so focused on trying to get Christmas presents finished and wrapped in time to celebrate things by Christmas Eve, I would muster up some energy and at least tidy things up a bit. But instead.....no guests until Boxing Day.