under water (but i'm breathing fine)
chen/xiumin ; ~3200 words ; pg-13
warning: girl!chen
things minseok knows: 1. kim jongdae is crazy. things minseok thinks may be true but isn’t sure: 1. minseok is out of his mind. (he only thought this after meeting kim jongdae.)
originally posted here at minseokful!
some things that minseok likes
1. order. he likes simple, regular patterns, like the monochrome stripes on his favorite shirt, small piles of neatly folded clothes, and the criss-crossing of shoelaces. he likes things in twos and threes, like the lenses and the earpieces of his thick black-framed glasses and the number of pieces of toast he eats for breakfast at 7 am. schedules and lists are nice too, especially when he writes them himself in small letters on white lined paper. the straight lines and simple curves of hangeul comfort him, which is part of the reason he likes reading so much. he likes reading, so it only makes sense that he also likes
2. libraries. but it’s not just the volumes and volumes of books and pages with fascinating stories to tell stacked up high above his head. something about the atmosphere is warm and stable, one of the closest feelings to peace he can find. the white noise of quiet footsteps and paper rustling is soft and pleasant. people are often at the library to better themselves, whether it’s for test scores, general knowledge, or temporary entertainment, and minseok likes that. it adds a cushion of contentment and comfort for his mind to match the warm sweaters he wears in
3. winter. long sleeves and layered clothing. fewer bugs. hot drinks by a window while watching the snow fall. snow is quiet and beautiful when it blankets the city. for the most part, things seem to slow down when it’s colder outside and the trees are bare. it’s easier to enjoy small elements of every day
some things that minseok does not like
1. messes. this includes papers and candy wrappers strewn across tables, too many sweat-stained clothes in a laundry hamper, your typical dirty situations. it’s also disconcerting when things don’t match or look out of place, like wearing too many bright colors that scream or putting old things and new things together in a hurry. life messes are even more worrying -- when people don’t plan well or have bad luck and have to save all their bus change in a jar. messiness makes minseok want to stop, close his eyes, and cover his ears. relish in the quiet. because messiness also extends to
2. loudness. din. cacophony. the sounds of the city are okay because he’s used to them and they’re constant -- although car horns don’t beep at regular intervals, they happen often enough to be expected, and they blend into the sound of tires rushing against pavement anyways. the loudness minseok dislikes is irregular and jarring, like a slamming door or the neighbors accidentally (?) turning their music up too loudly. he doesn’t like it when people speak louder than necessary
3. surprises. he doesn’t like when the weather report is wrong and it rains instead of staying clear. people unexpectedly showing up to his apartment startles him. surprise parties or unexpected packages in the mail might be okay, but he hasn’t received either of those so he can’t be sure.
things that minseok does not expect to happen on a perfectly ordinary day
1. a snowstorm. yes, the weather report predicted some flurries, but it’s greater than they expected and by the time minseok wakes up the pavement is already pure white. snow is nice, but when it falls from the sky in diagonal streams and can’t even be blocked by umbrellas it causes messes. messes in traffic on the streets, and messes under minseok’s boots when he walks into a building. of course, he spends extra time wiping his feet before proceeding inside.
2. crashing into someone within five minutes of entering the library. he was just walking around a corner at a normal pace when a girl with her earbuds in and looking down at a book appears out of nowhere. minseok reacts, but in the wrong way: they bump into each other, and minseok stumbles forward while his glasses fall off. he missteps, and as a result,
3. his glasses break. for a few moments, he stares in horror. maybe the girl does too, but he doesn’t remember that she’s there until she exclaims “oh no!” in a voice that minseok thinks is too loud considering that they’re a foot apart, and he flinches a little. the girl bends down and picks up the pieces of his glasses, and she manages to frown while continuing to chew her gum noisily. loud. then
4. she grabs his hands without warning and looks at him mournfully. “i’m so so sorry!” she says, a little less loudly this time and a little more warmly. “i should have watched where i was going! these look like really nice glasses…” she lets go of his hands and examines the glasses carefully, admiringly, and at least she has a little bit of taste, minseok thinks. from a first impression, she doesn’t look like it -- the neon orange beanie and dark green cardigan (with stray threads hanging from it!) certainly don’t match, and the rips in her tight jeans make minseok cold looking at her. it’s winter, after all.
5. she suddenly says, “i’ll pay!” minseok blinks at her, confused, still not having said a single word, too puzzled by all her contrasting elements. “for the glasses, of course!” she adds, looking even more apologetic. “it’s my fault, isn’t it? i can’t pay you all at once, but i’ll do it eventually.” she shuffles her feet a bit and smacks her gum against her teeth. he pauses for a bit, still shocked. “no, wait, you really don’t have to--” she excitedly interrupts him with a “here!”
6. she takes minseok’s left wrist and pushes back his sleeve, whipping a sharpie from her pocket, she writes the name of a cafe and its address on his arm in bubbly letters that bleed into each other. minseok is too shocked to stop her, but as she writes, he notices
7. the book that had been in her hands a few moments ago and is now squished between her legs. he squints to make out the letters on the spine. ozeki? it is! the novel that came out a month ago and that minseok’s been waiting for eagerly ever since. “excuse me?” he finally says as she finishes writing. she looks at him with wide eyes. she has long eyelashes, he sees, but that’s irrelevant. “that book… are you planning to check it out?” she laughs. “oh, you’re curious about that? yes, i’m going to read it. why?” “i’ve… been waiting to read it for a while. i read quickly, so if you could let me borrow it first--” she cuts him off again, but this time doesn’t seem to be on purpose because it’s loud laughing, kind of like bells clamoring. “but i want to read it too!” she smacks her gum again, tugging on her beanie and her shoulder-length hair as she thinks. “i’ve got it! why don’t you meet up with me here,” she pokes his arm where she wrote with sharpie, “on friday when i can start repaying you and you convince me why i should let you read this book first. see you then!” she nods her head in favor of a full bow and grins widely before
8. dashing away. minseok is caught off-guard again. people don’t run in libraries, especially not in a way that’s light-footed like a deer. and minseok still smells the fake watermelon from her breath as she leaves.
9.. he didn’t expect there to be so many surprises in one day. he feels a little unsettled, like there’s a cool breeze rustling in his chest.
things that minseok does over the next few days
1. the same as usual, of course. minseok isn’t one to break from routine easily.
2. think more about ozeki’s book. he really wants to read that book.
3. remember the strange girl who has the book. strange, loud and messy, yes, but will she give him the book? what will he say to her to convince her? what other books does she read? are her eyes really as kind as minseok had briefly thought they had looked?
things that happen that next friday, also known as more surprises
1. minseok is early, but he isn’t the first one at the cafe. the girl is already sitting at a table, and
2. her hat is even more shocking than the first orange beanie. today it’s a neon green one with a huge pom pom on top, but like the first time it clashes horribly with her pale pink cardigan. the sleeves are too big, minseok notes as she waves to him. her palm is covered by fabric and only her thin fingers are visible.
3. she gives him the book as soon as he sits down. her eyes crinkle happily and she grins. “you don’t have to say anything. i was going to give it to you anyways, but i just wanted to make sure you would come. also!”
4. she grabs his wrist (should this not be a surprise, since she did it before? but minseok is still caught off-guard) and places his hand palm up on the table so she can put an envelope in it. “i don’t know how much your glasses are, so please tell me so i can give you the right amount!”
5. minseok finds himself speaking in a loud voice. “no, it’s really okay! i have these ones already,” he pushes the old wiry frames he’s wearing up his nose “and i was the one who broke the glasses myself. i can’t accept money from you.” he pauses, then clears his throat tentatively. “but… i won’t refuse your offer of the book. ozeki is my favorite.”
6. “when can i meet you again?” she says, smiling. the corners of her mouth turn up cheekily, and minseok stares at them for a few seconds. “for the book, i mean. once you’re done reading it.” how could he forget. of course. he almost thought differently. “ah… will four days be fast enough?” he offers. he’s made sure his voice is soft and proper again. “sure!” she nods, clacking her gum loudly. does she do that when she’s excited? minseok smells artificial watermelon again.
7. “wait a minute. do we even know each other’s names! we don’t!” she cries. minseok forgot. he hasn’t ever been in a situation like this, so he’s improvising on every step. “i’m kim jongdae, born in 1992. and you?” she says this while tugging on her beanie and squishing the pom pom in her palm. her hair bobs along with her head when she talks excitedly. “i’m kim minseok, born in 1990,” he says.
8. “so. tell me about yourself,” she chirps. “i’m buying coffee for both of us. you like coffee, right?” “i do,” he says.
9. his smile isn’t as forced as he expected to be.
things minseok likes in threes
1. books in a series, if a series is necessary. two is usually not enough, and four and beyond are often tiring and inconsistent overall. also, he likes the way three related books look together with their matching spines lined up on his bookshelf or bedside table.
2. color combinations. in his apartment, the sofa is beige and the pillows atop it are blue and white. part of his reason for liking cream cakes is because the cake is pale yellow, the cream is white, and the strawberries are red. his favorite tie is black, white, and gray. everything feels balanced.
3. meeting jongdae. the third time, it’s in the library like they planned. he’s not excited beforehand or while it happens, but when he arrives back at his apartment he realizes that he smiled more than usual while talking to her and he hadn’t been faking any of it. she’d worn her orange beanie again, and he hadn’t cringed inside. it didn’t make sense, but her strangeness didn’t put him on edge anymore. if anything, it intrigued him.
*correction: minseok doesn’t like meeting jongdae only three times. he wants to meet her again. to keep meeting her again and again.
things minseok learns about jongdae over time
1. she’s comfortable. not just in the sense that her clothes are always casual. jongdae is comfortable with herself, enough that her shoulders are straight but not so confident that she’ll push through a crowd without feeling the need to apologize. she doesn’t worry about laughing too loudly, but she focuses on making other people laugh. she wants minseok to smile before she smiles. minseok keeps thinking that she’s warm, that her words wrap around him like a blanket. he’s comfortable when she’s with him.
2. she’s prettier because she doesn’t seem to realize it. she once joked about her eyelashes winning an award for being so long, but each time minseok sees her he notices something else: the upwards slant of her eyebrows when she’s surprised or amused; the moles dusting her face and neck like faint stars; the way her hair naturally curls inward like parentheses; the way she forgets about herself when she sees someone else that needs help, whether it’s a person with too much to carry or a cold kitten on the streets.
3. her smiles are always beautiful and warm, but she smiles differently when it’s because of him.
4. all of these things make his stomach flutter. because
5. he thinks she’s perfect.
things that minseok didn’t expect to like
1. little surprises. jongdae takes a book from the stack he’s reading and leaves little neon post-its in them. sometimes they’re as simple as “have a gooooood~ day!” or “smile!” and other times she draws little comics for him, usually of his face or something that she did to him recently, like when she read aloud to him as he fell asleep in the library on a tiring day. other days she buys little cakes and comes to his apartment before he gets home, shouting, “i already started the rice!” when he walks in the door.
2. “can i call you oppa?” jongdae asks that him one day. it’s out of nowhere. they’re sitting at adjacent armchairs n the library, and jongdae’s head rests against the arm very close to minseok’s elbow while he reads. “what?” he says, feeling a blush rising on his cheeks. “oppa?” she tries it as a question. he nods silently, not making eye contact while feeling as scarlet as a tomato. “then… can i do this?” she asks again, shyer this time. she sits up and leans over until she’s close enough to kiss him on the cheek, like a feather brushing against his skin. she pulls away, hesitant while waiting for a response, and he can feel her breath on his cheek. just as slowly, he reaches over until he’s cupping her cheek with his hand, and he pulls her in so he can return the favor.
3. brightly colored beanies. he can always see jongdae from far away when they meet in the city. but she waves enthusiastically enough to him anyways, sometimes jumping up and down, and he smiles naturally as he waves back.
4. oversized things on jongdae. she’s so tiny, and when she wears her cardigans or his sweaters that reach to her mid-thighs and that have sleeves that end at her knuckles, he wants to pull her close. not that he needs to protect her, because she would probably better off defending them if they got mugged on the streets or something.
5. kim jongdae. but now he likes her very much.
things that are now ordinary and expected
1. minseok at the library, standing in the back of the history or poetry section, gently shifting books from one side of a shelf to another in search of a good read, but he’s not alone. or if he is, not for long. jongdae comes along at one point or another, never at the exact same time, but eventually she finds him and
2. her arms find their way around his waist. her chin comes to rest on his shoulder, bobbing a little along with her jaw as she chews her gum noisily. somehow minseok isn’t bothered by the contact and the noise as he normally would be.
3. she wanders off with a whisper of “be right back,” and minseok just nods because he knows she doesn’t lie. a few minutes later, she appears with a book in her hand, taking his fingers and wrapping around the spine with a small smile asking, “take a look?” regardless of whether she’s read it before or not she seems to know exactly what minseok’s looking for and where to find it.
things that minseok would have found shocking not too long ago but thinks differently of now
1. jongdae finds him in the shelves as usual, but he knows she’s planning something different because he doesn’t hear her chewing gum. she puts her hands on his shoulders and whispers “hi” close enough to his ear that it tickles, and she laughs when he flinches even though he’s not really surprised. although she’s tiny, he’s not too tall either so it doesn’t take much effort to spin him around until he’s pinned against the shelves, books pressing into his spine as she kisses him. jongdae’s lips move a lot when she kisses him, which minseok should expect since she talks and smiles so much. it seems like she smiles when she kisses, or at least somehow puts her smiles into her kisses.
2. her fingers slip under his waistband to find the hem of his shirt and pull it free until she’s touching the small of his back or his stomach, her warm touch gently ghosting over his skin like there’s no clock ticking anywhere and no one to find them. he feels like the sun’s shining on him during a lazy afternoon.
3. he likes tangling his fingers in the waves of her hair or caressing her neck to pull her closer to him. he’s never liked touching someone so much.
4. the chill that goes up his spine from doing this in semi-public. it’s no longer nerve-wracking like it was the first time, but closer to exciting.
things that minseok doesn’t mind so much anymore (now things minseok rather likes, maybe even loves)
1. chaos. perfection is too exhausting, and chaos will always be present in everyone in some form no matter how much they try to eliminate it. he might as well embrace it, since he sees how beautiful it can be sometimes. since he thinks kim jongdae is beautiful with or without
2. her overworn cardigans and the rips in her backpack. “relax,” she’d say if he told her this out loud. she’d laugh in that way that’s quiet but warm and fills his ears, and she’d give him a little kiss on the nose. minseok would smile too because he’s already learned to love
3. the feeling of her fingers on his skin.
4. her.
warning: girl!chen
things minseok knows: 1. kim jongdae is crazy. things minseok thinks may be true but isn’t sure: 1. minseok is out of his mind. (he only thought this after meeting kim jongdae.)
originally posted here at minseokful!
some things that minseok likes
1. order. he likes simple, regular patterns, like the monochrome stripes on his favorite shirt, small piles of neatly folded clothes, and the criss-crossing of shoelaces. he likes things in twos and threes, like the lenses and the earpieces of his thick black-framed glasses and the number of pieces of toast he eats for breakfast at 7 am. schedules and lists are nice too, especially when he writes them himself in small letters on white lined paper. the straight lines and simple curves of hangeul comfort him, which is part of the reason he likes reading so much. he likes reading, so it only makes sense that he also likes
2. libraries. but it’s not just the volumes and volumes of books and pages with fascinating stories to tell stacked up high above his head. something about the atmosphere is warm and stable, one of the closest feelings to peace he can find. the white noise of quiet footsteps and paper rustling is soft and pleasant. people are often at the library to better themselves, whether it’s for test scores, general knowledge, or temporary entertainment, and minseok likes that. it adds a cushion of contentment and comfort for his mind to match the warm sweaters he wears in
3. winter. long sleeves and layered clothing. fewer bugs. hot drinks by a window while watching the snow fall. snow is quiet and beautiful when it blankets the city. for the most part, things seem to slow down when it’s colder outside and the trees are bare. it’s easier to enjoy small elements of every day
some things that minseok does not like
1. messes. this includes papers and candy wrappers strewn across tables, too many sweat-stained clothes in a laundry hamper, your typical dirty situations. it’s also disconcerting when things don’t match or look out of place, like wearing too many bright colors that scream or putting old things and new things together in a hurry. life messes are even more worrying -- when people don’t plan well or have bad luck and have to save all their bus change in a jar. messiness makes minseok want to stop, close his eyes, and cover his ears. relish in the quiet. because messiness also extends to
2. loudness. din. cacophony. the sounds of the city are okay because he’s used to them and they’re constant -- although car horns don’t beep at regular intervals, they happen often enough to be expected, and they blend into the sound of tires rushing against pavement anyways. the loudness minseok dislikes is irregular and jarring, like a slamming door or the neighbors accidentally (?) turning their music up too loudly. he doesn’t like it when people speak louder than necessary
3. surprises. he doesn’t like when the weather report is wrong and it rains instead of staying clear. people unexpectedly showing up to his apartment startles him. surprise parties or unexpected packages in the mail might be okay, but he hasn’t received either of those so he can’t be sure.
things that minseok does not expect to happen on a perfectly ordinary day
1. a snowstorm. yes, the weather report predicted some flurries, but it’s greater than they expected and by the time minseok wakes up the pavement is already pure white. snow is nice, but when it falls from the sky in diagonal streams and can’t even be blocked by umbrellas it causes messes. messes in traffic on the streets, and messes under minseok’s boots when he walks into a building. of course, he spends extra time wiping his feet before proceeding inside.
2. crashing into someone within five minutes of entering the library. he was just walking around a corner at a normal pace when a girl with her earbuds in and looking down at a book appears out of nowhere. minseok reacts, but in the wrong way: they bump into each other, and minseok stumbles forward while his glasses fall off. he missteps, and as a result,
3. his glasses break. for a few moments, he stares in horror. maybe the girl does too, but he doesn’t remember that she’s there until she exclaims “oh no!” in a voice that minseok thinks is too loud considering that they’re a foot apart, and he flinches a little. the girl bends down and picks up the pieces of his glasses, and she manages to frown while continuing to chew her gum noisily. loud. then
4. she grabs his hands without warning and looks at him mournfully. “i’m so so sorry!” she says, a little less loudly this time and a little more warmly. “i should have watched where i was going! these look like really nice glasses…” she lets go of his hands and examines the glasses carefully, admiringly, and at least she has a little bit of taste, minseok thinks. from a first impression, she doesn’t look like it -- the neon orange beanie and dark green cardigan (with stray threads hanging from it!) certainly don’t match, and the rips in her tight jeans make minseok cold looking at her. it’s winter, after all.
5. she suddenly says, “i’ll pay!” minseok blinks at her, confused, still not having said a single word, too puzzled by all her contrasting elements. “for the glasses, of course!” she adds, looking even more apologetic. “it’s my fault, isn’t it? i can’t pay you all at once, but i’ll do it eventually.” she shuffles her feet a bit and smacks her gum against her teeth. he pauses for a bit, still shocked. “no, wait, you really don’t have to--” she excitedly interrupts him with a “here!”
6. she takes minseok’s left wrist and pushes back his sleeve, whipping a sharpie from her pocket, she writes the name of a cafe and its address on his arm in bubbly letters that bleed into each other. minseok is too shocked to stop her, but as she writes, he notices
7. the book that had been in her hands a few moments ago and is now squished between her legs. he squints to make out the letters on the spine. ozeki? it is! the novel that came out a month ago and that minseok’s been waiting for eagerly ever since. “excuse me?” he finally says as she finishes writing. she looks at him with wide eyes. she has long eyelashes, he sees, but that’s irrelevant. “that book… are you planning to check it out?” she laughs. “oh, you’re curious about that? yes, i’m going to read it. why?” “i’ve… been waiting to read it for a while. i read quickly, so if you could let me borrow it first--” she cuts him off again, but this time doesn’t seem to be on purpose because it’s loud laughing, kind of like bells clamoring. “but i want to read it too!” she smacks her gum again, tugging on her beanie and her shoulder-length hair as she thinks. “i’ve got it! why don’t you meet up with me here,” she pokes his arm where she wrote with sharpie, “on friday when i can start repaying you and you convince me why i should let you read this book first. see you then!” she nods her head in favor of a full bow and grins widely before
8. dashing away. minseok is caught off-guard again. people don’t run in libraries, especially not in a way that’s light-footed like a deer. and minseok still smells the fake watermelon from her breath as she leaves.
9.. he didn’t expect there to be so many surprises in one day. he feels a little unsettled, like there’s a cool breeze rustling in his chest.
things that minseok does over the next few days
1. the same as usual, of course. minseok isn’t one to break from routine easily.
2. think more about ozeki’s book. he really wants to read that book.
3. remember the strange girl who has the book. strange, loud and messy, yes, but will she give him the book? what will he say to her to convince her? what other books does she read? are her eyes really as kind as minseok had briefly thought they had looked?
things that happen that next friday, also known as more surprises
1. minseok is early, but he isn’t the first one at the cafe. the girl is already sitting at a table, and
2. her hat is even more shocking than the first orange beanie. today it’s a neon green one with a huge pom pom on top, but like the first time it clashes horribly with her pale pink cardigan. the sleeves are too big, minseok notes as she waves to him. her palm is covered by fabric and only her thin fingers are visible.
3. she gives him the book as soon as he sits down. her eyes crinkle happily and she grins. “you don’t have to say anything. i was going to give it to you anyways, but i just wanted to make sure you would come. also!”
4. she grabs his wrist (should this not be a surprise, since she did it before? but minseok is still caught off-guard) and places his hand palm up on the table so she can put an envelope in it. “i don’t know how much your glasses are, so please tell me so i can give you the right amount!”
5. minseok finds himself speaking in a loud voice. “no, it’s really okay! i have these ones already,” he pushes the old wiry frames he’s wearing up his nose “and i was the one who broke the glasses myself. i can’t accept money from you.” he pauses, then clears his throat tentatively. “but… i won’t refuse your offer of the book. ozeki is my favorite.”
6. “when can i meet you again?” she says, smiling. the corners of her mouth turn up cheekily, and minseok stares at them for a few seconds. “for the book, i mean. once you’re done reading it.” how could he forget. of course. he almost thought differently. “ah… will four days be fast enough?” he offers. he’s made sure his voice is soft and proper again. “sure!” she nods, clacking her gum loudly. does she do that when she’s excited? minseok smells artificial watermelon again.
7. “wait a minute. do we even know each other’s names! we don’t!” she cries. minseok forgot. he hasn’t ever been in a situation like this, so he’s improvising on every step. “i’m kim jongdae, born in 1992. and you?” she says this while tugging on her beanie and squishing the pom pom in her palm. her hair bobs along with her head when she talks excitedly. “i’m kim minseok, born in 1990,” he says.
8. “so. tell me about yourself,” she chirps. “i’m buying coffee for both of us. you like coffee, right?” “i do,” he says.
9. his smile isn’t as forced as he expected to be.
things minseok likes in threes
1. books in a series, if a series is necessary. two is usually not enough, and four and beyond are often tiring and inconsistent overall. also, he likes the way three related books look together with their matching spines lined up on his bookshelf or bedside table.
2. color combinations. in his apartment, the sofa is beige and the pillows atop it are blue and white. part of his reason for liking cream cakes is because the cake is pale yellow, the cream is white, and the strawberries are red. his favorite tie is black, white, and gray. everything feels balanced.
3. meeting jongdae. the third time, it’s in the library like they planned. he’s not excited beforehand or while it happens, but when he arrives back at his apartment he realizes that he smiled more than usual while talking to her and he hadn’t been faking any of it. she’d worn her orange beanie again, and he hadn’t cringed inside. it didn’t make sense, but her strangeness didn’t put him on edge anymore. if anything, it intrigued him.
*correction: minseok doesn’t like meeting jongdae only three times. he wants to meet her again. to keep meeting her again and again.
things minseok learns about jongdae over time
1. she’s comfortable. not just in the sense that her clothes are always casual. jongdae is comfortable with herself, enough that her shoulders are straight but not so confident that she’ll push through a crowd without feeling the need to apologize. she doesn’t worry about laughing too loudly, but she focuses on making other people laugh. she wants minseok to smile before she smiles. minseok keeps thinking that she’s warm, that her words wrap around him like a blanket. he’s comfortable when she’s with him.
2. she’s prettier because she doesn’t seem to realize it. she once joked about her eyelashes winning an award for being so long, but each time minseok sees her he notices something else: the upwards slant of her eyebrows when she’s surprised or amused; the moles dusting her face and neck like faint stars; the way her hair naturally curls inward like parentheses; the way she forgets about herself when she sees someone else that needs help, whether it’s a person with too much to carry or a cold kitten on the streets.
3. her smiles are always beautiful and warm, but she smiles differently when it’s because of him.
4. all of these things make his stomach flutter. because
5. he thinks she’s perfect.
things that minseok didn’t expect to like
1. little surprises. jongdae takes a book from the stack he’s reading and leaves little neon post-its in them. sometimes they’re as simple as “have a gooooood~ day!” or “smile!” and other times she draws little comics for him, usually of his face or something that she did to him recently, like when she read aloud to him as he fell asleep in the library on a tiring day. other days she buys little cakes and comes to his apartment before he gets home, shouting, “i already started the rice!” when he walks in the door.
2. “can i call you oppa?” jongdae asks that him one day. it’s out of nowhere. they’re sitting at adjacent armchairs n the library, and jongdae’s head rests against the arm very close to minseok’s elbow while he reads. “what?” he says, feeling a blush rising on his cheeks. “oppa?” she tries it as a question. he nods silently, not making eye contact while feeling as scarlet as a tomato. “then… can i do this?” she asks again, shyer this time. she sits up and leans over until she’s close enough to kiss him on the cheek, like a feather brushing against his skin. she pulls away, hesitant while waiting for a response, and he can feel her breath on his cheek. just as slowly, he reaches over until he’s cupping her cheek with his hand, and he pulls her in so he can return the favor.
3. brightly colored beanies. he can always see jongdae from far away when they meet in the city. but she waves enthusiastically enough to him anyways, sometimes jumping up and down, and he smiles naturally as he waves back.
4. oversized things on jongdae. she’s so tiny, and when she wears her cardigans or his sweaters that reach to her mid-thighs and that have sleeves that end at her knuckles, he wants to pull her close. not that he needs to protect her, because she would probably better off defending them if they got mugged on the streets or something.
5. kim jongdae. but now he likes her very much.
things that are now ordinary and expected
1. minseok at the library, standing in the back of the history or poetry section, gently shifting books from one side of a shelf to another in search of a good read, but he’s not alone. or if he is, not for long. jongdae comes along at one point or another, never at the exact same time, but eventually she finds him and
2. her arms find their way around his waist. her chin comes to rest on his shoulder, bobbing a little along with her jaw as she chews her gum noisily. somehow minseok isn’t bothered by the contact and the noise as he normally would be.
3. she wanders off with a whisper of “be right back,” and minseok just nods because he knows she doesn’t lie. a few minutes later, she appears with a book in her hand, taking his fingers and wrapping around the spine with a small smile asking, “take a look?” regardless of whether she’s read it before or not she seems to know exactly what minseok’s looking for and where to find it.
things that minseok would have found shocking not too long ago but thinks differently of now
1. jongdae finds him in the shelves as usual, but he knows she’s planning something different because he doesn’t hear her chewing gum. she puts her hands on his shoulders and whispers “hi” close enough to his ear that it tickles, and she laughs when he flinches even though he’s not really surprised. although she’s tiny, he’s not too tall either so it doesn’t take much effort to spin him around until he’s pinned against the shelves, books pressing into his spine as she kisses him. jongdae’s lips move a lot when she kisses him, which minseok should expect since she talks and smiles so much. it seems like she smiles when she kisses, or at least somehow puts her smiles into her kisses.
2. her fingers slip under his waistband to find the hem of his shirt and pull it free until she’s touching the small of his back or his stomach, her warm touch gently ghosting over his skin like there’s no clock ticking anywhere and no one to find them. he feels like the sun’s shining on him during a lazy afternoon.
3. he likes tangling his fingers in the waves of her hair or caressing her neck to pull her closer to him. he’s never liked touching someone so much.
4. the chill that goes up his spine from doing this in semi-public. it’s no longer nerve-wracking like it was the first time, but closer to exciting.
things that minseok doesn’t mind so much anymore (now things minseok rather likes, maybe even loves)
1. chaos. perfection is too exhausting, and chaos will always be present in everyone in some form no matter how much they try to eliminate it. he might as well embrace it, since he sees how beautiful it can be sometimes. since he thinks kim jongdae is beautiful with or without
2. her overworn cardigans and the rips in her backpack. “relax,” she’d say if he told her this out loud. she’d laugh in that way that’s quiet but warm and fills his ears, and she’d give him a little kiss on the nose. minseok would smile too because he’s already learned to love
3. the feeling of her fingers on his skin.
4. her.