flow
chen/kai ; ~3000 words ; pg
jongdae is almost ready to debut as a pop star, but he can't dance. hopefully the ~mysterious~ choreographer KAI can change that.
for the bestest squishiest lavren, fulfilling her erf request!!!!! better late than never? <3______<3
A loud combination of a groan and a yawn. "It's 4:23 AM. Why am I awake right now?"
"You know today is the day you have to start dancing. With a world-renowned choreographer, no less."
"I didn't forget." Jongdae rubs his eyes and tries to blink the sleep and anticipation away.
"Then why are you whining? You're very lucky you get to work with Kai before you've even debuted, you know! You should be excited!"
"Okay, Kyungsoo. But it's still early," Jongdae pouts.
“You know what else is early? Your stage in your career. You’re not allowed to get cocky just because you have a nice voice. You can sing as wonderfully as you want and you still might not get a big break. There are plenty of people out there who can sing well and have nice voices, but you need to make yourself stand out.”
“I know, I know--”
“You have to make an impact. You have to dance. Not many solo acts can sing and dance, and you will be the best of them. Be glad that the company is investing in you right now, and don’t let their money go to waste.”
Jongdae sighs. “I know you’re right, but next time can’t we try to start a few hours later?”
No one else is there when they get to the practice room, and Jongdae asks Kyungsoo about it when he realizes they only have the blue sky background for company.
“Of course we’re here early. You can’t be late on your first day, and I as your manager can’t let you be late. And now you have more time to warm up.”
“Okay.” Jongdae starts to stretch as Kyungsoo starts to rattle off more information.
“Remember, Kai is a star. He worked with Kyuhyun on his last comeback and he’s collaborated with Taemin and Hoya before. He’s known for not being overly talkative and sometimes has a bit of a fluctuating temper. He doesn’t talk much about himself, but almost everyone in the scene is sure he’s gay.”
Jongdae looks up. “Okay? So? Why are you telling me all of this?”
“I’m just relaying information,” Kyungsoo says matter-of-factly. “Do you doubt my abilities and purposes behind my actions? Don’t question me.” He turns his back and goes back to doing something probably important on his phone.
Jongdae doesn’t say anything about how nervous he is, his underarms already slightly damp and his fingers cold with dread. Knowing Kyungsoo, he probably senses how tense Jongdae is, but he doesn’t know exactly how terrible Jongdae is at dancing. Jongdae can shake his hips from side to side and jump up and down like kids at a middle school dance, but not much else. He’s willing to try to learn, but he doesn’t know how patient this world-renowned Kai will be.
He spends the remaining minutes walking around the room restlessly while listening to the instrumental music for his single, humming the melody and hoping that the beats will seep into his bloodstream so that his dancing will have some sort of rhythm.
He nearly trips on his feet when he hears the door open and a tall, lean figure in sweats and a snapback reading “I AM THE GREATEST” slouches in. Jongdae stops and bows on instinct, just like his mother had always told him to. The figure, a rather young looking man, hesitates for an instant and timidly bows back.
“Hello, I’m Kai,” he mumbles.
Jongdae nearly splutters for a second while Kyungsoo professionally bows and shakes hands with Kai. “It’s an honor to meet you.”
“It’s an honor to be able to work with you,” Jongdae says, trying not to sound surprised. All he knew about Kai was the information that Kyungsoo had just told him, although he had watched a few of his choreographies for other artists before and had been starstruck. He wouldn’t have guessed that Kai was so young and gorgeously boyish looking, soft silver hair sweeping over his eyebrows and plump lips nearly in need of chapstick.
“Yes, well, let’s not waste any time, shall we?” Kai says, slightly louder but still quiet and wavering like gentle rain.
Kyungsoo slips out to do something probably more important while Kai hooks the sound system to a music player, ready for Jongdae’s single to blast out of the speakers. Jongdae waits expectantly for Kai to say something, but bass floods the floor with vibrations and Kai begins to dance without warning.
Jongdae has seen good dancing before, but he has never seen anything quite like Kai’s dancing. Kai does not simply move; in fact, Jongdae finds it too difficult to describe him with any combination of words. Kai paints invisible strokes in the air with his limbs, in one instant flowing like a river breeze and another pulsing sharply like repeated strikes of lightning. He floats and pounds and still manages to breathe seemingly without effort. Jongdae’s song is barely recognizable through the speakers because Kai’s performance is so dramatic and different. When the end comes all too quickly, Jongdae feels as if the wonder and awe growing in his chest have taken his breath away.
Kai stays in place for an extra moment, and Jongdae bursts into applause. “Wow!” he cheers. “I feel so inspired now!”
“Good,” Kai says. “Now let’s see you try a bit.”
They work without music, slowing down the tempo so Kai can teach Jongdae each move individually. Jongdae pays full attention and tries to imitate some of Kai’s style, but he can barely get the sequences correct. Kai is thankfully patient, objectively telling Jongdae where he’s wrong and how to fix it. It’s strange, though, how whenever Kai adjusts the angles of Jongdae’s arms or the distance between his feet, his touches are feather-light. Jongdae almost thinks that Kai doesn’t want to touch him, or is afraid of it.
At the end of practice, Jongdae is mentally and physically exhausted. Kai seems to be too, since he’s already wiped his face with two towels. He looks quite nice without his snapback and his hair pushed back, even if it’s sweaty, Jongdae notes.
“Kai-sshi?” he calls out.
Kai’s shoulders jerk and he turns around suddenly, eyes widened and eyebrows raised.
“Thank you for today,” Jongdae says, bowing slightly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t so good today. I’ll do my best to improve quickly!”
“Ah…” Kai still seems surprised. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he nearly whispers.
“See you tomorrow!” Jongdae says cheerfully.
Kai gives him just a small, quick smile in return.
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “How’d it go?”
Jongdae tries to smile but just winces.
“Well, then. Set your alarm for three-thirty tomorrow!”
“Kyungsoo, it seems like half the time you want this more than I do,” Jongdae sighs.
“My salary depends on your career, so yes, I care immensely,” Kyungsoo replies. “But regardless of my interests, I want you to succeed too. Never forget that you deserve this. Dancing is the last thing you need to take care of to ensure your success.”
“Yes, captain,” Jongdae mumbles. Kyungsoo’s never wrong, though.
To celebrate the end of the first week of rehearsals, Kyungsoo insists on taking Jongdae and Kai out to dinner. It’s not much, just another small barbecue place, but Kai lights up when he sees fried chicken on the menu as well and they order huge plates of it. Kai’s eyes glitter like a child’s when he grabs a drumstick and sinks his teeth into it, and Jongdae has to stop himself from laughing out loud.
“So you like chicken, Kai-sshi?” Jongdae asks, smiling.
“Very much.” His response is barely audible through the meat in his mouth he’s busy chewing.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo waves his hands hurriedly. “When you’re both done eating, let’s take a picture of you two. For publicity, of course.”
Jongdae knows he’s lying a little bit. Kyungsoo is oddly sentimental about taking pictures for memories -- he has thousands of photos on his phone, all sorted into neat little albums.
“Get ready to say ‘kimchi!’” Kyungsoo says when they’re waiting for the check. Jongdae scoots a little closer to Kai and holds up a V with his fingers, but he’s surprised when Kai is quicker and puts his arm around Jongdae’s shoulders. It’s a little awkward, as many idol (or idol and pre-idol, in this case) interactions are, but Jongdae’s smile is genuine. He wants to know if Kai's is too. He hopes so.
“Kyungsoo, can I ask you something?” Jongdae fiddles with the hem of his sleeve.
Kyungsoo sighs and scrolls through something on his phone. “You just did in that sentence. What.”
“Are you sure Kai is supposed to be mysterious?”
“Well, he came to the sound studio to discuss slight tempo changes in the track yesterday, and he didn’t talk much. Just kind of sat there and smoldered.”
“Smoldered?”
“Mmm, you know, leaned back with his arms crossed and stared at things like he could make them burn up. I was almost scared of him for a few minutes.”
“Almost,” Jongdae emphasizes. “That’s funny, because sometimes it’s almost like he’s scared of me. He doesn’t want to touch me to show me where I need to adjust, and he won’t look me in the eye.”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “Not everyone’s as touchy and talkative as you. Get over it.”
It’s another day of practice where they’re drenched in sweat by the end, leaning against the mirrors dabbing their faces with towels. What makes today different is that Kai speaks up first.
"Why are you still using formalities with me?"
That's unusual. Kai doesn't normally bring up topics besides dancing. Jongdae hums. "I may be older, but you're the teacher here. I might be known as a dancing machine among my friends, but that's nothing compared to your dancing. Well, obviously, because my title is a joke, but really. Your dancing is indescribable."
Kai bends his head down and runs his hand through his hair, but he can't hide the blush and the small smile that spread rapidly across his cheeks. It's awkward yet adorable, and Jongdae doesn't fight the smile that comes to his face.
"Jongdae-sshi?"
"Mmm?"
He does that thing where he awkwardly runs his hand through his hair, and suddenly Jongdae feels like smiling again. "Uh. You can, um, call me Jongin."
“Jongin,” Jongdae tries. “It’s a nice name. And it’s similar to mine!”
Kai -- Jongin -- grins, and it might be Jongdae’s hyper awareness, but it seems like it’s more natural. It’s only natural for Jongdae to return the smile.
Practice is hard work, but Jongdae never dreads it. He genuinely feels like he improves a little bit every day, and of course he likes seeing Jongin. He likes watching Jongin dance; he likes Jongin’s transformation into confident Kai when he talks about dancing and how Jongdae can make his moves sharper and more effortless; he likes when Kai suddenly sneezes or yawns and becomes more Jongin for a few seconds. He likes all of Jongin and Kai, so much so that his stomach starts to flutter with his feet when he dances.
When they’re done for the day, Jongdae grabs two towels and tosses one to Jongin. Today, Jongin isn’t paying enough attention and he flinches when the towel flies at him. He still catches it though, but Jongdae laughs anyways.
“Thank you so much, Jongin. You really are a great teacher.” He still says this every day.
"But why are you so jittery around me? It's like you only know how to move when you're dancing. Otherwise, I'll ask you something when your back is turned and you almost fall over when I make a noise."
Jongin turns a lovely rose color and his fingers find his hair, combing for an answer. "Nothing. No reason."
Jongdae frowns. "Did I do something? Am I too loud? Am I too clumsy? Do you hate working with me because I'm a terrible dancer?"
Jongin refuses to look Jongdae in the eye and manages to trip over his feet while mostly standing still. "No! Nothing's wrong! Really!"
"I know something's wrong!" Jongdae persists. "Clearly! Just tell me and I'll try to make it better! I promise!"
"I think you need to rest more, Jongdae-sshi. Sleep some more tonight before tomorrow’s rehearsal," Jongin mumbles, walking swiftly away and slamming the door on his way out.
It’s only a few days before Jongdae’s debut, and he’s trying harder than ever to perfect the choreography. Yet, as Jongin dances in the background with him, Jongdae still can hear him sighing.
When the music ends, Jongdae faces Jongin and puts his hands on his hips. “I really don’t think I did anything wrong this time. Why are you sighing? “
“Nothing.” Jongin’s voice drops. “Forget it.”
"Tell me! I want to make it better!"
"You can't!!"
Jongdae's heart drops a bit, and his expression probably does too. "What did I do? Why?"
"Nothing!!! You didn’t do anything wrong. I. I just," Jongin stammers, fingers pulling at his hair. Jongdae thinks he wants to hold them in his own hands.
"Please. Just tell me everything. What is it?" Jongdae begs.
"I. I need some air,” Jongin sighs. He walks out, shoulders hunched.
Jongdae looks at the mirror, and the practice room feels so big all of a sudden. Because Jongin's not there.
His bag is, though. Jongdae sees a notebook sticking out of it; he thinks Jongin carries it around with him often. Perfect. Jongdae can write him a note and he’ll find it right away.
Of course, him being Jongdae, he can’t go very long without making a noise. Jongdae picks the notebook up but drops it almost immediately, and it falls open as it hits the floor. The page facing him holds a sketch of a man wearing headphones and holding a microphone; it looks like he’s supposed to be in a recording studio. It’s simple, but the linework is lovely and the figure looks so alive for someone sketched in graphite. As Jongdae admires the drawing, he realizes that the cheekbones and lilted eyebrows seem familiar. Curiosity takes over him and he flips through the other pages of the notebook. They’re all filled with more sketches of someone singing, and it’s the same someone on every page. It’s him. Kim Jongdae.
He didn’t know that Jongin was so talented at drawing. He really had no idea that Jongin could think of him, Jongdae, outside of rehearsals and take time to draw him not just once, but over and over.
A little breathless, Jongdae flips to a blank page and writes as neatly as he can. He doesn’t want to insult Jongin’s lovely sketchbook in any way.
It’s me, Jongdae. Can we talk? I’ll buy coffee.
Jongin shows up at the coffee shop Jongdae specified a few days later, sans snapback and biting his lip even as he walks in the door. Jongdae feels bad for thinking he looks so adorable when he’s nervous.
They just stare at each other for a few seconds when Jongin pulls his chair out and sits down. Then Jongdae blurts out, “I saw your sketchbook. I didn’t mean to be a snoop, I really didn’t, I just wanted to leave you a note, which I did and you obviously saw, because you’re here and--”
“Did you like them?” Jongin asks shyly. His eyes are round and pleading, and Jongdae thinks he looks like an oversized puppy.
“Huh?”
“The drawings. Did you like them? Were they okay?”
Jongdae smiles without thinking about it. “I love them. They’re all gorgeous. I’m so flattered.”
Jongin sighs and smiles in relief, but his shoulders are still tense. “Well…”
“But…” Jongdae hesitates. “They were all of me. Yes. Lots of drawings of me. So does that mean… that you? Like me?”
That rosy flush that Jongdae likes so much blooms on Jongin’s cheeks, and he fiddles with the hems of his sleeves. Somehow they’re still oversized on him even though he’s so tall. “Yes.”
Jongdae beams. “Guess what. I’m going to reveal a secret today too.”
“What?” Jongin is so clueless and it’s so cute.
“I like somebody too. You.”
Jongin’s mouth forms a little O, as if it’s the most surprising news he’s heard all year, and then he too breaks out into a smile.
"I didn't think you could like me. I was so nervous around you. Ever since I first heard your song..." His eyes are like little crescent moons, shining bright.
For a little while, they sip their coffees and gaze across the table at each other. Even though Jongdae’s coffee cools down, his fingers feel all warm and a little tingly.
He leans forward and rests his chin in his palm. "So. What do you like about me?"
Jongin hums while he thinks. "Your voice. Your smile. Your eyes. Your laugh," Jongin mumbles, face about the color of a strawberry. "They're all cute. And happy."
"There isn't anything you dislike about me, is there?"
"You talk too much," Jongin grumbles, and oh no, he's really too endearing when he pouts and his lower lip is like that.
"Hmm. I think I can fix that, at least for now," Jongdae laughs, and he leans over to cup Jongin's cheek and kiss him silently.
It’s finally the day of Jongdae’s debut. He doesn’t think he’s too lacking, but he can’t say he’s not nervous as he stands backstage waiting for his cue.
“Don’t worry,” Kyungsoo says rather emotionlessly. “You’ve worked so hard. You’ll be fine.”
“Don’t worry,” Jongin echoes, wrapping his arms around Jongdae’s shoulders. “Show them what a star you are.” He shyly gives Jongdae a peck on the cheek when Kyungsoo turns his head. Jongin’s become so much touchier after their mutual confession, and Jongdae has no complaints, locking Jongin’s fingers with his own as he counts down.
“You’re on!” a PD whispers to him and gestures towards the entrance to the stage.
Jongdae takes a deep breath. He keeps his eyes wide open as he walks through the door. The spotlight is his.
jongdae is almost ready to debut as a pop star, but he can't dance. hopefully the ~mysterious~ choreographer KAI can change that.
for the bestest squishiest lavren, fulfilling her erf request!!!!! better late than never? <3______<3
A loud combination of a groan and a yawn. "It's 4:23 AM. Why am I awake right now?"
"You know today is the day you have to start dancing. With a world-renowned choreographer, no less."
"I didn't forget." Jongdae rubs his eyes and tries to blink the sleep and anticipation away.
"Then why are you whining? You're very lucky you get to work with Kai before you've even debuted, you know! You should be excited!"
"Okay, Kyungsoo. But it's still early," Jongdae pouts.
“You know what else is early? Your stage in your career. You’re not allowed to get cocky just because you have a nice voice. You can sing as wonderfully as you want and you still might not get a big break. There are plenty of people out there who can sing well and have nice voices, but you need to make yourself stand out.”
“I know, I know--”
“You have to make an impact. You have to dance. Not many solo acts can sing and dance, and you will be the best of them. Be glad that the company is investing in you right now, and don’t let their money go to waste.”
Jongdae sighs. “I know you’re right, but next time can’t we try to start a few hours later?”
No one else is there when they get to the practice room, and Jongdae asks Kyungsoo about it when he realizes they only have the blue sky background for company.
“Of course we’re here early. You can’t be late on your first day, and I as your manager can’t let you be late. And now you have more time to warm up.”
“Okay.” Jongdae starts to stretch as Kyungsoo starts to rattle off more information.
“Remember, Kai is a star. He worked with Kyuhyun on his last comeback and he’s collaborated with Taemin and Hoya before. He’s known for not being overly talkative and sometimes has a bit of a fluctuating temper. He doesn’t talk much about himself, but almost everyone in the scene is sure he’s gay.”
Jongdae looks up. “Okay? So? Why are you telling me all of this?”
“I’m just relaying information,” Kyungsoo says matter-of-factly. “Do you doubt my abilities and purposes behind my actions? Don’t question me.” He turns his back and goes back to doing something probably important on his phone.
Jongdae doesn’t say anything about how nervous he is, his underarms already slightly damp and his fingers cold with dread. Knowing Kyungsoo, he probably senses how tense Jongdae is, but he doesn’t know exactly how terrible Jongdae is at dancing. Jongdae can shake his hips from side to side and jump up and down like kids at a middle school dance, but not much else. He’s willing to try to learn, but he doesn’t know how patient this world-renowned Kai will be.
He spends the remaining minutes walking around the room restlessly while listening to the instrumental music for his single, humming the melody and hoping that the beats will seep into his bloodstream so that his dancing will have some sort of rhythm.
He nearly trips on his feet when he hears the door open and a tall, lean figure in sweats and a snapback reading “I AM THE GREATEST” slouches in. Jongdae stops and bows on instinct, just like his mother had always told him to. The figure, a rather young looking man, hesitates for an instant and timidly bows back.
“Hello, I’m Kai,” he mumbles.
Jongdae nearly splutters for a second while Kyungsoo professionally bows and shakes hands with Kai. “It’s an honor to meet you.”
“It’s an honor to be able to work with you,” Jongdae says, trying not to sound surprised. All he knew about Kai was the information that Kyungsoo had just told him, although he had watched a few of his choreographies for other artists before and had been starstruck. He wouldn’t have guessed that Kai was so young and gorgeously boyish looking, soft silver hair sweeping over his eyebrows and plump lips nearly in need of chapstick.
“Yes, well, let’s not waste any time, shall we?” Kai says, slightly louder but still quiet and wavering like gentle rain.
Kyungsoo slips out to do something probably more important while Kai hooks the sound system to a music player, ready for Jongdae’s single to blast out of the speakers. Jongdae waits expectantly for Kai to say something, but bass floods the floor with vibrations and Kai begins to dance without warning.
Jongdae has seen good dancing before, but he has never seen anything quite like Kai’s dancing. Kai does not simply move; in fact, Jongdae finds it too difficult to describe him with any combination of words. Kai paints invisible strokes in the air with his limbs, in one instant flowing like a river breeze and another pulsing sharply like repeated strikes of lightning. He floats and pounds and still manages to breathe seemingly without effort. Jongdae’s song is barely recognizable through the speakers because Kai’s performance is so dramatic and different. When the end comes all too quickly, Jongdae feels as if the wonder and awe growing in his chest have taken his breath away.
Kai stays in place for an extra moment, and Jongdae bursts into applause. “Wow!” he cheers. “I feel so inspired now!”
“Good,” Kai says. “Now let’s see you try a bit.”
They work without music, slowing down the tempo so Kai can teach Jongdae each move individually. Jongdae pays full attention and tries to imitate some of Kai’s style, but he can barely get the sequences correct. Kai is thankfully patient, objectively telling Jongdae where he’s wrong and how to fix it. It’s strange, though, how whenever Kai adjusts the angles of Jongdae’s arms or the distance between his feet, his touches are feather-light. Jongdae almost thinks that Kai doesn’t want to touch him, or is afraid of it.
At the end of practice, Jongdae is mentally and physically exhausted. Kai seems to be too, since he’s already wiped his face with two towels. He looks quite nice without his snapback and his hair pushed back, even if it’s sweaty, Jongdae notes.
“Kai-sshi?” he calls out.
Kai’s shoulders jerk and he turns around suddenly, eyes widened and eyebrows raised.
“Thank you for today,” Jongdae says, bowing slightly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t so good today. I’ll do my best to improve quickly!”
“Ah…” Kai still seems surprised. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he nearly whispers.
“See you tomorrow!” Jongdae says cheerfully.
Kai gives him just a small, quick smile in return.
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “How’d it go?”
Jongdae tries to smile but just winces.
“Well, then. Set your alarm for three-thirty tomorrow!”
“Kyungsoo, it seems like half the time you want this more than I do,” Jongdae sighs.
“My salary depends on your career, so yes, I care immensely,” Kyungsoo replies. “But regardless of my interests, I want you to succeed too. Never forget that you deserve this. Dancing is the last thing you need to take care of to ensure your success.”
“Yes, captain,” Jongdae mumbles. Kyungsoo’s never wrong, though.
To celebrate the end of the first week of rehearsals, Kyungsoo insists on taking Jongdae and Kai out to dinner. It’s not much, just another small barbecue place, but Kai lights up when he sees fried chicken on the menu as well and they order huge plates of it. Kai’s eyes glitter like a child’s when he grabs a drumstick and sinks his teeth into it, and Jongdae has to stop himself from laughing out loud.
“So you like chicken, Kai-sshi?” Jongdae asks, smiling.
“Very much.” His response is barely audible through the meat in his mouth he’s busy chewing.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo waves his hands hurriedly. “When you’re both done eating, let’s take a picture of you two. For publicity, of course.”
Jongdae knows he’s lying a little bit. Kyungsoo is oddly sentimental about taking pictures for memories -- he has thousands of photos on his phone, all sorted into neat little albums.
“Get ready to say ‘kimchi!’” Kyungsoo says when they’re waiting for the check. Jongdae scoots a little closer to Kai and holds up a V with his fingers, but he’s surprised when Kai is quicker and puts his arm around Jongdae’s shoulders. It’s a little awkward, as many idol (or idol and pre-idol, in this case) interactions are, but Jongdae’s smile is genuine. He wants to know if Kai's is too. He hopes so.
“Kyungsoo, can I ask you something?” Jongdae fiddles with the hem of his sleeve.
Kyungsoo sighs and scrolls through something on his phone. “You just did in that sentence. What.”
“Are you sure Kai is supposed to be mysterious?”
“Well, he came to the sound studio to discuss slight tempo changes in the track yesterday, and he didn’t talk much. Just kind of sat there and smoldered.”
“Smoldered?”
“Mmm, you know, leaned back with his arms crossed and stared at things like he could make them burn up. I was almost scared of him for a few minutes.”
“Almost,” Jongdae emphasizes. “That’s funny, because sometimes it’s almost like he’s scared of me. He doesn’t want to touch me to show me where I need to adjust, and he won’t look me in the eye.”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “Not everyone’s as touchy and talkative as you. Get over it.”
It’s another day of practice where they’re drenched in sweat by the end, leaning against the mirrors dabbing their faces with towels. What makes today different is that Kai speaks up first.
"Why are you still using formalities with me?"
That's unusual. Kai doesn't normally bring up topics besides dancing. Jongdae hums. "I may be older, but you're the teacher here. I might be known as a dancing machine among my friends, but that's nothing compared to your dancing. Well, obviously, because my title is a joke, but really. Your dancing is indescribable."
Kai bends his head down and runs his hand through his hair, but he can't hide the blush and the small smile that spread rapidly across his cheeks. It's awkward yet adorable, and Jongdae doesn't fight the smile that comes to his face.
"Jongdae-sshi?"
"Mmm?"
He does that thing where he awkwardly runs his hand through his hair, and suddenly Jongdae feels like smiling again. "Uh. You can, um, call me Jongin."
“Jongin,” Jongdae tries. “It’s a nice name. And it’s similar to mine!”
Kai -- Jongin -- grins, and it might be Jongdae’s hyper awareness, but it seems like it’s more natural. It’s only natural for Jongdae to return the smile.
Practice is hard work, but Jongdae never dreads it. He genuinely feels like he improves a little bit every day, and of course he likes seeing Jongin. He likes watching Jongin dance; he likes Jongin’s transformation into confident Kai when he talks about dancing and how Jongdae can make his moves sharper and more effortless; he likes when Kai suddenly sneezes or yawns and becomes more Jongin for a few seconds. He likes all of Jongin and Kai, so much so that his stomach starts to flutter with his feet when he dances.
When they’re done for the day, Jongdae grabs two towels and tosses one to Jongin. Today, Jongin isn’t paying enough attention and he flinches when the towel flies at him. He still catches it though, but Jongdae laughs anyways.
“Thank you so much, Jongin. You really are a great teacher.” He still says this every day.
"But why are you so jittery around me? It's like you only know how to move when you're dancing. Otherwise, I'll ask you something when your back is turned and you almost fall over when I make a noise."
Jongin turns a lovely rose color and his fingers find his hair, combing for an answer. "Nothing. No reason."
Jongdae frowns. "Did I do something? Am I too loud? Am I too clumsy? Do you hate working with me because I'm a terrible dancer?"
Jongin refuses to look Jongdae in the eye and manages to trip over his feet while mostly standing still. "No! Nothing's wrong! Really!"
"I know something's wrong!" Jongdae persists. "Clearly! Just tell me and I'll try to make it better! I promise!"
"I think you need to rest more, Jongdae-sshi. Sleep some more tonight before tomorrow’s rehearsal," Jongin mumbles, walking swiftly away and slamming the door on his way out.
It’s only a few days before Jongdae’s debut, and he’s trying harder than ever to perfect the choreography. Yet, as Jongin dances in the background with him, Jongdae still can hear him sighing.
When the music ends, Jongdae faces Jongin and puts his hands on his hips. “I really don’t think I did anything wrong this time. Why are you sighing? “
“Nothing.” Jongin’s voice drops. “Forget it.”
"Tell me! I want to make it better!"
"You can't!!"
Jongdae's heart drops a bit, and his expression probably does too. "What did I do? Why?"
"Nothing!!! You didn’t do anything wrong. I. I just," Jongin stammers, fingers pulling at his hair. Jongdae thinks he wants to hold them in his own hands.
"Please. Just tell me everything. What is it?" Jongdae begs.
"I. I need some air,” Jongin sighs. He walks out, shoulders hunched.
Jongdae looks at the mirror, and the practice room feels so big all of a sudden. Because Jongin's not there.
His bag is, though. Jongdae sees a notebook sticking out of it; he thinks Jongin carries it around with him often. Perfect. Jongdae can write him a note and he’ll find it right away.
Of course, him being Jongdae, he can’t go very long without making a noise. Jongdae picks the notebook up but drops it almost immediately, and it falls open as it hits the floor. The page facing him holds a sketch of a man wearing headphones and holding a microphone; it looks like he’s supposed to be in a recording studio. It’s simple, but the linework is lovely and the figure looks so alive for someone sketched in graphite. As Jongdae admires the drawing, he realizes that the cheekbones and lilted eyebrows seem familiar. Curiosity takes over him and he flips through the other pages of the notebook. They’re all filled with more sketches of someone singing, and it’s the same someone on every page. It’s him. Kim Jongdae.
He didn’t know that Jongin was so talented at drawing. He really had no idea that Jongin could think of him, Jongdae, outside of rehearsals and take time to draw him not just once, but over and over.
A little breathless, Jongdae flips to a blank page and writes as neatly as he can. He doesn’t want to insult Jongin’s lovely sketchbook in any way.
It’s me, Jongdae. Can we talk? I’ll buy coffee.
Jongin shows up at the coffee shop Jongdae specified a few days later, sans snapback and biting his lip even as he walks in the door. Jongdae feels bad for thinking he looks so adorable when he’s nervous.
They just stare at each other for a few seconds when Jongin pulls his chair out and sits down. Then Jongdae blurts out, “I saw your sketchbook. I didn’t mean to be a snoop, I really didn’t, I just wanted to leave you a note, which I did and you obviously saw, because you’re here and--”
“Did you like them?” Jongin asks shyly. His eyes are round and pleading, and Jongdae thinks he looks like an oversized puppy.
“Huh?”
“The drawings. Did you like them? Were they okay?”
Jongdae smiles without thinking about it. “I love them. They’re all gorgeous. I’m so flattered.”
Jongin sighs and smiles in relief, but his shoulders are still tense. “Well…”
“But…” Jongdae hesitates. “They were all of me. Yes. Lots of drawings of me. So does that mean… that you? Like me?”
That rosy flush that Jongdae likes so much blooms on Jongin’s cheeks, and he fiddles with the hems of his sleeves. Somehow they’re still oversized on him even though he’s so tall. “Yes.”
Jongdae beams. “Guess what. I’m going to reveal a secret today too.”
“What?” Jongin is so clueless and it’s so cute.
“I like somebody too. You.”
Jongin’s mouth forms a little O, as if it’s the most surprising news he’s heard all year, and then he too breaks out into a smile.
"I didn't think you could like me. I was so nervous around you. Ever since I first heard your song..." His eyes are like little crescent moons, shining bright.
For a little while, they sip their coffees and gaze across the table at each other. Even though Jongdae’s coffee cools down, his fingers feel all warm and a little tingly.
He leans forward and rests his chin in his palm. "So. What do you like about me?"
Jongin hums while he thinks. "Your voice. Your smile. Your eyes. Your laugh," Jongin mumbles, face about the color of a strawberry. "They're all cute. And happy."
"There isn't anything you dislike about me, is there?"
"You talk too much," Jongin grumbles, and oh no, he's really too endearing when he pouts and his lower lip is like that.
"Hmm. I think I can fix that, at least for now," Jongdae laughs, and he leans over to cup Jongin's cheek and kiss him silently.
It’s finally the day of Jongdae’s debut. He doesn’t think he’s too lacking, but he can’t say he’s not nervous as he stands backstage waiting for his cue.
“Don’t worry,” Kyungsoo says rather emotionlessly. “You’ve worked so hard. You’ll be fine.”
“Don’t worry,” Jongin echoes, wrapping his arms around Jongdae’s shoulders. “Show them what a star you are.” He shyly gives Jongdae a peck on the cheek when Kyungsoo turns his head. Jongin’s become so much touchier after their mutual confession, and Jongdae has no complaints, locking Jongin’s fingers with his own as he counts down.
“You’re on!” a PD whispers to him and gestures towards the entrance to the stage.
Jongdae takes a deep breath. He keeps his eyes wide open as he walks through the door. The spotlight is his.