(no subject)
Watching the oxygen channel insted of doing a paper, trading one evil for another.
I find my self looking forward to desk duty tonight. Its the most boring time of the week, and my ass enevitably goes numb after the thrid hour in the metal chair, but it reminds me of home. I just sit there and read for five hours. Junior year, all i did was read. I used to come home from school, lock my self in my room and read for eight hours sometimes. It was an escape. I got to live lives that i had no chance of ever living. I got to get away for a couple hours and lose my self in the pages, in the words. Lines and lines of words that in their meare repitition were hypnotic. It was a time to think about nothing at all and everything at the same time. "Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage." Its a quote for those of us who feel trapped by our surroundings, circumstances, just lives in general. I have my 12th grade english teacher to thank for it, and i can still remember her infront of the class, teaching about shakespear, and saying that quote and having it hit me like a ton of bricks. Its one of my favorites and will always stay with me and help me through the toughest of times. English and lit is right up there with art for me. I love it so much, and use it all the time, but if i were to pursue it for a career it would take away the majesty of it. I started writing a book once, and wrote it on and off for about a year and a half.My mom read about a hundred pages of it but i didnt want her to read any more. It was a murder mystery novel. But like most things, I threw it away when i moved. Its part of a past life that i dont live anymore. I dont want to do that anymore, throw things away. I was talkin to my best about it, like i dont most things that i think about, and i'm tired of being so complacent and passive when it concerns moving. my whole life ive been so used to just picking up and going where i had to. I dont know anyone anymore from anywhere but here. The friends i have are the ones ive made in the past two years. people here grew up with the friends they have, they graduated with people they went to kindergarden with. Ive been so many places because of the military, and have learned and grown so much, matured much faster than some. But i had to pay a price, and im not prepared to pay this price and more for the military again. I cant join. I cant do that again. So i think im staying here, maby not indefinitely, but atleast for the next year. Ive made friends here that i dont want to loose, that i cant emotionally afford to loose. so ill stay in maine, and ill stick it out. Maby this next year Ill find a good job somewhere in mass and save enough to get an apartment down there. Hopefully. Crim class in about two hours. Get my midterm back, not gona be any big suprised though, the whole class failed it...
I find my self looking forward to desk duty tonight. Its the most boring time of the week, and my ass enevitably goes numb after the thrid hour in the metal chair, but it reminds me of home. I just sit there and read for five hours. Junior year, all i did was read. I used to come home from school, lock my self in my room and read for eight hours sometimes. It was an escape. I got to live lives that i had no chance of ever living. I got to get away for a couple hours and lose my self in the pages, in the words. Lines and lines of words that in their meare repitition were hypnotic. It was a time to think about nothing at all and everything at the same time. "Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage." Its a quote for those of us who feel trapped by our surroundings, circumstances, just lives in general. I have my 12th grade english teacher to thank for it, and i can still remember her infront of the class, teaching about shakespear, and saying that quote and having it hit me like a ton of bricks. Its one of my favorites and will always stay with me and help me through the toughest of times. English and lit is right up there with art for me. I love it so much, and use it all the time, but if i were to pursue it for a career it would take away the majesty of it. I started writing a book once, and wrote it on and off for about a year and a half.My mom read about a hundred pages of it but i didnt want her to read any more. It was a murder mystery novel. But like most things, I threw it away when i moved. Its part of a past life that i dont live anymore. I dont want to do that anymore, throw things away. I was talkin to my best about it, like i dont most things that i think about, and i'm tired of being so complacent and passive when it concerns moving. my whole life ive been so used to just picking up and going where i had to. I dont know anyone anymore from anywhere but here. The friends i have are the ones ive made in the past two years. people here grew up with the friends they have, they graduated with people they went to kindergarden with. Ive been so many places because of the military, and have learned and grown so much, matured much faster than some. But i had to pay a price, and im not prepared to pay this price and more for the military again. I cant join. I cant do that again. So i think im staying here, maby not indefinitely, but atleast for the next year. Ive made friends here that i dont want to loose, that i cant emotionally afford to loose. so ill stay in maine, and ill stick it out. Maby this next year Ill find a good job somewhere in mass and save enough to get an apartment down there. Hopefully. Crim class in about two hours. Get my midterm back, not gona be any big suprised though, the whole class failed it...